“Come on, you guys,” Madison said. “This is silly. You don’t have to do this.”
“With all due respect, young lady,” said Zhang, “I think your friend here needs to learn a lesson.”
“I don’t learn lessons, old man,” Ozzie said with fire in his eyes. “I teach them.”
“Come on, you two. Enough of all this macho stuff,” Olivia said. “There’s got to be a way we can work this out.”
“I am working it out, Olivia,” said Ozzie.
“It’s okay,” Zoe said, placing her hand on Olivia’s shoulder. “Let’s just let the boys do their stupid little boy thing.”
Standing next to Rice, Zack felt his buddy nudge him in the rib cage. “This is going to be awesome,” he whispered to Zack. Then he shouted, “Go get ’im, Oz!”
“Don’t worry, fellas,” Ozzie said with confidence. “This’ll all be over soon enough.”
And he was right.
Ozzie sprang forward, his nunchaku a dizzy blur. Zack watched his friend as he charged at the kung fu master. In a split second, Zhang Wu shot his left arm out toward Ozzie. Then, with a dainty little flick of his wrist, he sent Ozzie flying into a tree trunk.
“Ozzie!” the whole group shouted as they ran over to their fallen friend.
“Are you okay, man?” Rice asked, kneeling.
Ozzie nodded his head weakly. He pushed himself off the ground and rubbed his back.
Rice turned and glared angrily at Zhang Wu. “What’d you do to our Ozzie?”
“I taught him a lesson,” said Zhang. “And I would like to teach you all a lesson. I do not wish to fight you. I wish to train you.”
“Dude, we don’t have time for all that,” Zoe said. “We’ve got to get that ginkgo tree root back to the Caribbean before our mayflies go bad!”
“And in order to do that,” said Zhang, and then he paused.
“In order to do that what?” Zoe asked.
“In order to do that . . . ,” Zhang repeated with a blank stare.
“Is this guy having a stroke or something?” Olivia asked. “Sir, are you feeling all right?”
“In order to obtain the root of the ginkgo and save the human race . . .” Zhang paused one more time before finishing his sentence. “You must be strong, you must be brave, but above all else, you must BE the zombie. . . .”
“Is this guy for real?” Madison asked. “Zack, are you sure you’re not dreaming?” She reached out and pinched the back of his arm.
“Ow!” Zack shouted. “Too hard!”
“What?” Madison said. “I just wanted to be sure.”
“Are you ready to listen to me now?” Zhang said to them.
They stared at him.
“Yes or no?” Zhang changed his tone from calm to not so calm.
Zack looked at his friends and shrugged. “I think we ought to hear him out.”
“I don’t think we have another choice,” Rice said. “Besides, it might be kind of awesome to get coached by this dude. Did you see what he just did to Ozzie? Sorry, man, but he totally kicked your butt.”
Ozzie slanted his eyebrows, glaring at Rice as he brushed the dirt off his shoulders.
“And if you don’t want to get your own butts kicked, as you put it, then you will come with me where it is safe,” Zhang told them. “As we speak, there are thirty of your so-called super zombies guarding the ginkgo tree. Like me, the super zombies knew you would be coming.”
“How did they know that?” Zack asked.
“I’m not sure,” Zhang said. “But they grow smarter by the day.”
Ozzie straightened up and gave his neck a good crack. He looked at Zhang and said, “If you think we’re scared of a few super zombies, then you don’t know us very well.”
“These are no ordinary super zombies,” Zhang said. “They were my disciples, all thirty of them, and they became infected with the zombie virus. I kept them locked in the temple, but they were accidentally exposed to that awful beverage Spazola Energy Cola. Now they are all super zombies. Super zombies trained in the art of kung fu. If we are going to have any chance of defeating them, and getting your ginkgo root, then we must begin your training immediately.”
“Well, why didn’t you just tell us that in the first place?” Olivia asked, frustrated.
“The past is behind us now, and we mustn’t dwell in it,” Zhang Wu said with a flip of his long white beard. “Come with me. . . . It isn’t safe for us to be here any longer.”
Zack, Rice, Madison, Zoe, Olivia, and Twinkles followed Zhang Wu away from the temple and down a narrow dirt track. He led them through a lush garden filled with exotic plants and flowers—that Zack recognized from his dream—until they reached a small hut. It was hidden from view by the thick greenery.
Behind the shack was a training center set up in the dirt yard. There were wooden posts stuck in the ground and racks full of martial arts weaponry.
Zhang Wu walked them out to the training yard and ordered them to line up single file. The six of them obeyed and watched their new kung fu teacher pace back and forth.
Since finding out about the super zombies that guarded the ginkgo tree, Zack had a sick, panicked feeling in his gut. He didn’t want to interrupt, but he needed answers. He couldn’t help raising his hand, like he was in class.
“I see you have a question,” Zhang said. “Questions are for later. Let us begin.”
Zack hated when adults cut him off when he had something important to say. His teachers did it all the time. “It’s just . . . ,” he began anyway, “how did the super zombies know we were going after this particular ginkgo tree?”
“I’ve told you already I do not have the answer,” Zhang said with growing impatience.
Rice turned and looked at Zack. “Why? Do you think maybe they got to Nigel? Maybe that’s why we couldn’t get through to him in Egypt?”
“I don’t see how else they could have known,” said Zack. “Do you?”
Rice racked his brain for another possibility. “If they have Nigel, what are we going to do?”
“It’s not the end of the world,” Ozzie said. “We still have a sample of the giant frilled tiger shark digestive enzyme, the mayfly larvae, and Olivia. We could create the antidote ourselves as a last resort.”
“Yeah but maybe not enough of it,” Zack said.
“Okay, so maybe it is the end of the world,” said Ozzie.
“Guys, don’t go jumping to conclusions,” Zoe said. “Maybe they sent a spy or something and were eavesdropping on our plan.”
“It doesn’t matter why they know about the ginkgo tree,” Olivia added, a little annoyed. “The point is they’re here, and we have to get past them. So let’s just listen up to Zhang. After all, it’s my family who got super-zombified. Got it?” She turned to the kung fu master, who was meditating on the floor with his eyes closed. He’d ignored the entire argument. “Take it from here, Zhang.”
Zhang Wu’s eyes flicked open and he went from sitting to standing in the blink of an eye. His expression changed to a scowl as he gave them a good once-over, looking them up and down.
Zack, Rice, Ozzie, Madison, and Zoe all straightened up and went quiet. Even Twinkles snapped to attention and faced the kung fu teacher. Zhang nodded at Olivia and then continued.
“Now, where was I?” Zhang tried to get his train of thought back.
“You were going to teach us how to BE the zombie,” Rice said.
“Right, but, like, here’s the thing, Zhang,” Zoe said. “We’ve all been zombies before. Except for Olivia.”
“Yeah,” Madison said. “She’s a vegan and the regular zombie antidote. She’s also my cousin.”
Zack looked at Ozzie. Ozzie knew better than to test Zhang’s patience. Guess he learned his lesson, Zack thought, following Ozzie’s lead and staying quiet, too.
“So, what she’s saying is—and correct me if I’m wrong, Zoe,” Rice said, “we’re just not sure we don’t already know what you have to teach us.”
> Zhang Wu’s mouth curled into a frown and his eyes narrowed at Rice. “You!” he snapped. “You like to exercise your mouth but not the rest of your body, eh? . . . Down on the ground! Fifty push-ups! Now!”
“Hah!” Zoe let out a loud chuckle.
Zhang shot Zoe a sharp, cutting glance. “What is so funny?”
“There’s no way he can do fifty push-ups,” she said. “Look at him!”
Rice looked at Zhang sheepishly. “She’s right. I can’t. I could maybe do, like, five or six, tops. . . .”
“Very well,” said Zhang. “You do your five, and she can do the other forty-five.”
“Hey!” Zoe cried. “That’s not fair!”
“And since when have you ever known the world to be fair?” Zhang said. “Push-ups now!”
Zoe rolled her eyes as she got down in push-up position next to Rice. “This guy’s a real stickler, huh?”
About a minute later Zoe had knocked out her set of push-ups. Rice was still on his third.
“Pathetic . . . ,” Zhang muttered to himself, shaking his head while Rice finished up. “I see we have a lot of work to do. . . . Ozzie, please step forward and face the group. Am I to believe that I can trust you to lead your friends through a warm-up routine?”
“Sir, yes, sir!” Ozzie barked.
“Very good,” Zhang said. “Show them the basics. Work them out for half an hour and then come inside for supper. You all look like you could use a decent meal.”
Zhang then left them to their exercises.
“Okay, guys, you heard the man,” Ozzie said, striking a wide stance. “Follow me. Like this.”
Zack mimicked Ozzie’s pose and Ozzie began the kung fu warm-up.
“Ho!” he grunted and punched with his right hand. “Again!” Ozzie commanded.
“Arf!” Twinkles echoed, wagging his tail by Ozzie’s feet.
Zack and his friends punched with their lefts. “Ho!”
“Again!”
After they finished their exercises, the kids all gathered inside. Zhang had bowls of white rice waiting for them, along with fresh fruit from the garden. Zack and the group sat down at the round table and began to eat. It had been a long day, and they were all famished.
“Hey, check it out.” Madison giggled, watching Rice gobble up his bowl of steaming hot rice. “Rice is eating himself.”
“Mmmm,” Rice said. “I taste delicious. . . .”
They all laughed and then scarfed down the rest of the meal. When they were done, Zhang pointed to the doorway off the main room. “Bunk beds are in there. Rest up. Training continues tomorrow.”
Tomorrow came and went and turned into the next day and then the next. In the span of seventy-two hours, Zhang had given them a crash course in kung fu, teaching them the fundamentals of all five animal fighting styles: crane, dragon, monkey, snake, and tiger. He showed them how to handle the four major martial arts weapons: the nunchaku (which Ozzie had demonstrated), the mace (which was basically a big metal club), the bo staff (a long stick, which they were all pretty good at), and rattan sticks (two shorter rods, which everyone was pretty bad at). Edged weapons were not allowed, which meant no samurai swords. They could not fatally wound the super zombies. After all, they were Zhang’s disciples and to Zhang they were family. He wanted to save them, too.
At the end of the third day, Zhang lined them up and looked them over. Zack even thought he saw the old master crack a smile.
“I believe we are making some progress,” Zhang said. “But you’re forgetting our core principle. You must BE the zombie.”
Zack kicked the dirt in frustration. “You keep saying that,” he said, “but you never tell us what it means.”
“You will know when you are ready to know,” Zhang said. He then walked away and headed into the hut to prepare their meal.
When he was gone, the group huddled up and Zack looked in the eyes of each and every one of them. “I’m getting a little worried,” he said. “We don’t have many more days to waste training with this guy.”
“I don’t think it’s been a waste,” Madison said. “I feel much more toned than I have in a while, and he’s got fresh fruit from the garden. So yummy!”
“Okay, but if we don’t get that ginkgo root back to Nigel in the next forty-eight hours, the mayfly larvae will be useless.”
“Plus, he keeps talking about ‘being the zombie,’” said Rice. “We’ve been at this for three days now, and I don’t feel any wiser or more zombielike. I mean if he really wants us to be like a zombie, we might as well go eat someone’s brains.”
“That’s totes McGross, Rice,” Madison said. “Yuck!”
“I think he’s talking about getting into the mind-set of the super zombies, not actually being one,” Olivia said.
“Who knows what this guy’s talking about,” said Zoe. “I’m sure he’s a great kung fu master and all, but I’m starting to think he’s a little bit cuckoo.”
“I’m with Zoe on this one,” Ozzie said. “I think we’re ready to go fight these guys. If he wants to come, great! But if he says we’re not ready, I say we go get the ginkgo root tonight, with or without him.”
“All in favor say aye,” Zack said.
Everyone put their hands in the middle of the huddle. “Aye!”
The kids gathered around the table for dinner. Zack sat in his seat, trying to think of a way to bring up that they were done training with Zhang. He wasn’t sure how to broach the subject, but it had to be done. They were running out of time.
“Excuse me, Zhang?” Zack called to their kung fu trainer in the kitchen. “We really appreciate all this training and food you’ve been giving us, but we all feel like we’re ready to take on the super zombies. . . .”
“That would not be wise at this juncture,” said Zhang. “Your training is not complete.”
“Be that as it may,” Zack said, “we don’t have a lot of time. You see, it’s a long way back to the Caribbean and we’ve got that mayfly sample and well . . . we kinda gotta get going.”
Without responding, Zhang set down a platter of some new kind of food that none of them had ever seen before—thick slices of meat slathered in a brown sauce. Zack scrunched his face at the meal, looking confused.
“What is it?”
“Monkey brains,” said Zhang. “A delicacy. Go on, eat up!”
“There’s no way I’m eating that,” Zoe said.
“I can’t eat that,” Olivia said. “I’m the antidote.” It was the first time Zack had ever seen her happy about that fact. Both girls stood up from the table and walked to the bunk room.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” Madison said, pushing her seat away from the table and leaving the room.
“I don’t need to eat brains to fight zombies,” Ozzie said. “Do you think the zombies are up there eating rice and fruit so they can BE like us? Excuse me. . . .” Ozzie rose and left the table.
Zack and Rice were the only ones left. They looked up at Zhang, who was waiting patiently for them to start eating.
“This is going to make us ready to take on the super zombies?” Rice asked.
Zhang gave them a nod, gesturing toward the meal.
Rice shrugged and served up two helpings of the monkey brains, one for Zack and one for himself. Zack looked down at his plate. It didn’t smell so bad, but knowing what it was made his stomach turn.
The boys dug in for their final round of zombie training. Rice wolfed his down, and Zack took a nibble, too.
“Hmm, that’s not so bad,” Zack said. “Tastes kind of like chicken. . . .”
Rice chewed and chewed, talking with his mouth full. “I mean, it’s a little tough, but I think I kind of get the whole wanting-to-eat-brains thing. It’s got a pretty nice flavor.”
Once they had finished cleaning their plates, Zack looked up at Zhang again. “So, now you’ll take us to go fight the super zombies?”
“Yes,” said Zhang. “When you have finished your training.”
&nbs
p; “But you just said eating this would make us ready,” Zack said, his patience wearing thin.
“I believe I said you will be ready when you are ready,” Zhang told him and walked off.
Zack and Rice both stormed into the bedroom, and Zack slammed the door behind them. The other four—Ozzie, Olivia, Zoe, and Madison—were sulking on their bunk beds.
Twinkles was in the kitchen, eating the rest of the monkey brains.
Zack stared at his friends. “That dude just made me eat monkey brains for no reason,” he said. “Tonight, after he’s asleep, we’re taking our weapons and storming that temple.”
Zoe looked at Zack with what almost could have been considered pride. “Right on, little bro. Let’s do this thing.”
And so it was decided.
The six of them lay in their bunks, fake sleeping, until they could hear the high-pitched snoring of Zhang Wu. That was the signal for them to quietly slip out from under the covers and creep to the window of their room.
They dropped off the windowsill and then darted across the training yard.
Adrenaline coursed through their veins as they climbed up the temple steps. They were all a little anxious, but their nerves were steady. Leading the way, Zack looked up at the top of the mountain. A figure flashed in the moonlight. It had a shiny bald head and wore an orange kung fu uniform. Its skin looked crinkled and pale, and its eyes were bloodshot. As the figure patrolled the temple, Zack also noticed its arms hanging low out of their sockets, down to the knees, and it seemed to be breathing heavily out of its mouth. Definitely a super zombie.
“Shhhh . . . ,” Zack said, and motioned for them to hop off the stairs. They ran the rest of the way under the cover of the mountain. When they reached the top, Zack and the gang peered out across the temple courtyard. The ginkgo tree shined under the glow of the moon. The ancient tree was absolutely gigantic, with a trunk that was easily the width of a highway. Seven massive limbs branched off the trunk and reached to the sky, holding up what looked like a thick, puffy hairdo of yellow leaves. It was magnificent.
World Zombination Page 7
