“Nor should you be forced to do so. He is not your father in any way that matters. He is a criminal most foul and should be arrested forthwith. Unfortunately, that will never happen as the only witness to his crime is dead.”
“Yes, my father is a rapist and a murderer. He may not have held the knife that killed her in his hands, but he might as well have done so for his part in the entire ordeal.”
“Is there anything I can do to aid you during this troubled time?”
“You could take me back to Oliver so that I might see to his care.”
“Regretfully, I cannot do so in this storm, but I would be glad to do so in the morning after it has passed. I cannot risk your life, or my own for that matter, by riding at night in a storm such as this.”
“No, of course not. I understand. It was merely wishful thinking on my part.”
“Not at all. It was the very reason I came out to find you. I wished to bring you home safe and sound, but that will have to wait. At least you were able to get yourself safely to the comfort of your own croft. I might never have found you if you had been lost out there in that storm. I just barely found your footprints as it was. I feared the worst when I arrived home and heard of your being forcefully taken from Arkley Hall against your will.”
“Did you know I have eight brothers? Eight! They all have grey eyes just like mine, only colder somehow. It is unbelievable.”
“Yes, I knew of Enfield’s sons, but I did not know that they were your brothers. How does it feel to believe that you had no family left in this world and then to find that you have a father and brothers so near?”
“It is unbelievable,” she whispered shaking her head. “And terrible,” she admitted frowning. “He is a truly terrible man. I could have lived my entire life not knowing of his existence and been better for the lack of knowledge.”
“I am sorry, Marybeth. Truly, I am. I cannot imagine a greater disappointment for a father than that. You deserved much better than a man such as Lord Enfield. As soon as the storm passes, I will return you to Arkley Hall and you will never have to see him again if you do not wish to do so.”
“I threatened to kill him, to murder him with my own hands,” she admitted shaking, “but when I saw my brother lying on the ground, his life slowly bleeding away on the forest floor, I couldn’t do it. Deep down, my need to heal another overpowered my need for revenge.”
“And that is what makes you the most beautiful soul I have ever known,” Felix breathed, coming forward to take her into his arms. “You are of stunning beauty and intellect. I cannot resist you no matter how hard I try,” he whispered into her hair. “If you do not feel the same please tell me so now and I will walk away, but if perchance you share my feelings, I ask that you only indulge me this moment, to hold you in my arms so that I might carry the feel of you with me always.”
Stunned, Marybeth felt something within herself come alive that she had never felt before. It was frightening and yet exhilarating. Wrapping her arms around Felix’s middle she returned his embrace. She knew he was promised to Lady Cordelia Weatherton, but in that moment she did not care. In that moment, all that mattered was the feel of his arms around her. Lifting her head up to his face she gazed longingly into his eyes and found her own emotions mirrored back at her.
Leaning his head down, Felix brushed his lips ever so gently against hers. The sensation spread like wildfire through her body, igniting flames all along her senses. Leaning up on tip toe, Marybeth received his second kiss with passionate fervor. She knew it was unwise to kiss a man so, alone in a croft out in the middle of the woods. Her reputation would be compromised, but in that moment she did not care. In that moment all she could think about was the feel of his lips upon hers.
“Oh, Marybeth,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. His breath brushed her lips with the tiniest sweetest caresses causing shivers of delight up and down her spine. The way he whispered her name made her mind go fuzzy and her body come alive. For the first time in her life, she understood what it meant to desire a man. She had heard her grandmother describe such sensations in an effort to prepare her for marriage someday, but she had never believed it possible. Now she knew it to be true.
Tangling her fingers in his hair she brought her lips up to his once more. She kissed him with a passion so intense that before either of them knew what was happening, Felix had picked her up and carried her over to the bed in the corner. Laying her down upon its brightly colored quilt made from Marybeth’s old dresses, Felix groaned as his good sense overcame his desire and he backed away before either of them could do anything else to compromise themselves.
“Marybeth, I want you more than I have ever wanted another living soul in all of my life, but I am not free to be with you. My heart may belong to you, but my troth belongs to another.”
“Lady Cordelia,” Marybeth murmured closing her eyes tight against the reality of their situation. She was ashamed of herself for allowing her emotions to get the better of her. She had known he belonged to another and yet she had practically thrown herself at him. In her heightened emotional state, she had reacted to his innocent sweet kiss like a spark to kindling.
“Yes,” he nodded sorrowfully. He raked his hands through his hair as he took another step back. “I am sorry,” he whispered, his own agony evident with every syllable he uttered. “Words cannot begin to express how much I desire you right now in this moment. If I am being honest, I have desired you thus from the start, and I suspect that I will go on doing so until the day I am planted in the ground.”
“Oh, Felix,” she whispered tears streaming down her cheeks. “It is I who am sorry. I knew better and yet I allowed myself to get carried away in the moment.”
“Ah, but what a beautiful moment it was,” he murmured, his eyes alight with his feelings for her.
“Yes, it was,” she smiled, blushing ever so slightly. “It is a moment I will carry with me always.”
“As will I,” Felix replied. His features took on a sad expression as he reached out and fondly caressed her cheek. “If only the world we inhabit were different.”
Marybeth nodded her head leaning her face into the palm of his hand. “If only,” she whispered.
Chapter 18
When the weather cleared, Felix and Marybeth returned to Arkley Hall. They rode along in silence, both thinking of what had transpired between them. Unable to change either how she felt about Felix or that there was naught that could be done about it, Marybeth’s thoughts turned to Lord Enfield. There is much amiss there, she mused angrily.
He was not at all forthright with his answers about how he had known so much about my family and I. How did he even know of my existence if he left my mother for dead in the forest?
Marybeth tightened her hold around Felix’s waist in an effort to draw as much comfort from his presence as she could. She felt as if her world had been turned upside down, yet somehow even in his refusal of her affections, Felix had managed to right it once more, if only for a moment. Laying her head against his back, she closed her eyes. An image of her mother fighting for her life flashed through her mind and her eyes flew open in horror.
“Are you ill?” Felix asked. In her dismay she had jerked, nearly falling off of the horse and taking him with her.
“My apologies. No, I am not ill, simply disturbed by all that has transpired. Learning of Lord Enfield was quite a shock. I cannot cease from thinking upon what he did to my mother, how I came to be in existence.”
“A horrifying thing,” he shook his head in a gesture of rejection of Lord Enfield’s actions. “Any man who terrorizes women thus should be drawn and quartered.”
“A gruesome punishment for a gruesome crime.”
“Exactly so.”
They returned to silence, each lost in their own thoughts. His hand moved to rest upon hers. She appreciated the gesture of comfort and laid her head against his back once more. Several moments passed before Felix spoke again. “I find myself concerne
d for your safety. Were you to return to the croft unguarded, I fear I might go mad from worry for your wellbeing. The mere thought of what happened to your mother happening to you…” Felix shook his head with such force it startled the horse. “It is unfathomable.”
“I wish I could say that I did not share your fears, but I find that I do. I never once feared living in the forest alone before now, yet I find I am greatly discomfited by the notion of returning to my solitary life in the croft alone. How did he know so much about me?”
“I do not know. The Earl of Bredon and I had gone to Blackleigh Castle during our hunt to check on the guard stationed there and encountered Lord Enfield riding through the woods covered in blood. We stopped to offer our assistance and when he asked if I knew where the healer from the croft might be for the sake of his son, I did not hesitate to inform him of your whereabouts. I feel exceedingly foolish for not having asked more questions. All I could think about when I heard his story was to save the young man’s life.”
“And rightly so,” Marybeth soothed his guilt. “I would have done the same.”
“And you did. You saved your brother’s life.”
It was such an odd sensation to hear someone being referred to as her brother. “Yes, I did.”
“I should have disregarded the Earl’s desire to continue on and accompanied Lord Enfield to Arkley Hall, but we had long been neighbors and it never once occurred to me that His Lordship could have been such a dastardly fiend.”
“If cruel men could be identified by simply looking upon their visage, the world would be a much safer place would it not?”
“Indeed. Nevertheless, you have my sincerest apologies for my lack of precautionary action.”
“I thank you, but they are not needed. I have a feeling he would have found me whether you had pointed him in the right direction or not.”
“Yes, I too have that distinct impression from your and mother’s description of his behavior as he barged into her bedchamber unbidden.”
“How did he even know where the Duchess’s rooms were?”
“He has been to many dances and parties at Arkley Hall over the years, just as we have been to his residence.”
“Your families were friends?”
“No, I would not go so far as to say we were friends, but we afforded one another the hospitality of neighbors within the peerage.”
“I see. It must have been quite a shock to your mother then, his behaving in such a manner.”
“Yes, it was. She was quite distraught when I last spoke to her.”
“Understandably so. I will go and see to her needs the moment we return to the manor house.”
“I thank you for your kindness and care of her. Without you and your ministrations, I fear she would be forever lost to me.”
“A terrifying prospect to be sure. She appears to be improving slowly, but only time and continued care will show us if she is truly on the mend,” Marybeth cautioned, not wishing for him to think her a worker of miracles so soon after starting the treatments. “It is simply too soon to be sure.”
“No matter the result, I am still grateful.”
“Then you are most welcome. I have come to hold great affection for her myself. I am also anxious to return and see to Oliver.”
“Let us hope the poor lad is recovering without mishap in your absence.”
“Yes, when I was forcibly removed from Arkley Hall, he had only just awakened a brief time before.”
“I am certain that he is just as concerned for your wellbeing as you are for his.”
“Poor Oliver.”
Felix chuckled and squeezed her hand. “That is one of the things I admire most about you.”
“What is that?”
“Your compassion for others even among your own struggles. It is an admirable quality held by so few.”
“It is not difficult if you truly care about others.”
“And with but a single statement, you prove yourself once more,” he remarked warmly. Marybeth blushed, relieved that she was behind him so that he could not see the crimson stain she was sure were upon her cheeks.
Upon arriving at Arkley Hall, Felix and Marybeth walked together to the Dowager Duchess’s bedchamber. “Oh, my dears! I am so glad to see that you are both safe and sound. I have been beside myself with worry.”
“We are well, Mother.” Felix moved forward and kissed her forehead. “Though we are both quite concerned about the lack of integrity exhibited by Lord Enfield, as I know you are.”
“Yes, quite. The idea of having shared a dinner table with that terrible man has left me feeling quite ill.” The Dowager Duchess reached her hand out to Marybeth and drew her near. “I am so very sorry for you and your dear mother. Please know that no matter what transpires regarding my condition, whether I am healed or not by your efforts, there will always be a place for you here at Arkley Hall.”
“Thank you, Your Grace.” Marybeth affectionately squeezed the Dowager Duchess’s hand in gratitude for her kindness.
“It is the very least we can do, my dear. What has befallen your family should never happen to anyone.”
“Upon that we can all agree.” Felix’s face bore a mixture of sadness and anger as he spoke. “I am of a mind to go and have words with the man, but it would not do a bit of good. The crime is long past, and there is naught to be done for it now as the only witness to it is dead.”
“Is his confession to me not enough?” Marybeth asked.
“No, I fear it is not. Lord Enfield is a peer of the realm. It would take far more than that to see him face justice. It is quite likely that he will never answer for his actions here on earth, but I suspect that not even God himself will aid him in the hereafter.”
“I believe there is much he is not telling me,” Marybeth confided. “I asked him a myriad of questions of which he only answered one.”
“I wager I can guess which one,” Felix remarked disapprovingly.
“Yes, the very one,” Marybeth confirmed shuddering at the thought.
Felix moved to touch her then stopped and withdrew his hand. The time for intimacy between them had passed. Marybeth arose and prepared the Dowager Duchess’s treatment. When she was finished, she turned toward the door. “I must go and see to Oliver now, Your Grace. Please do not hesitate to ring for me if you need me.”
“Thank you, Marybeth,” the Dowager Duchess replied smiling. “I am here if you need a listening ear.”
Marybeth nodded and left the room with Felix on her heels. They walked together below stairs to Mrs. Taylor’s sitting room where they had last seen Oliver. They found him sleeping quietly. “I need to check his wound,” Marybeth whispered.
“It is doubtful that you can do so without waking him.”
“I do not wish to risk it becoming inflamed.”
“I will help you. Perhaps together we can make it as pain free as is possible.”
Felix removed his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. He walked over to the washstand in the corner and washed his hands, then put some water on to boil over the fireplace. Marybeth followed suite then began to carefully unwrap the bandages around Oliver’s head. “Marybeth?” Oliver murmured from beneath her. His eyes fluttered open.
“Yes, it is I,” she answered, moving so that he might see her face.
“Are you well? Where have you been? Mr. Wheatly said that you were needed elsewhere to aid another, but that you were taken against your will.”
“Yes, I was taken to help another. I will tell you all about it when you are feeling better. You need your rest. I will simply tend to your wound and then allow you to return to sleep.”
Felix moved forward and laid out Marybeth’s supplies upon the side table so that she might access them more readily. Working together they quickly changed Oliver’s bandage.
“Your Grace,” Mr. Wheatly appeared in the doorway and they all turned to face him. “I was informed that you had returned and wished to speak with me. Forgive me for not greeting y
ou at the door, but I was serving my duty as watchman in the hidden room.”
“It is upon that very subject that I wish to speak with you. Has our unwelcome guest resurfaced?”
“No, Your Grace. He has not been seen.”
“Nor was he seen at the castle when I spoke with the guard there.”
“I do not understand any of this,” Marybeth murmured shaking her head.
“Nor do I,” Felix agreed.
“These have been difficult days indeed,” Mr. Wheatly mused, frowning.
“Mr. Wheatly, you should not have been serving guard duty in that room alone.”
“I may be an old man, Your Grace, but I am still capable of doing my duty.”
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