He looked into the fire, the way he often did when he was about to start a story.
“Before you start,” Lilly said. “I’m going to find that Rachel and Bethany, and see if they still have that suit. Just wanted you to know that.”
Duke exploded into a fit of coughing, trying to laugh at the same time. “No worries there,” he said, when he caught his breath. “I made sure there was no evidence of it left. Now….if I may?”
Lilly indicated that he could, and so Duke began.
THE HIDDEN KNIFE
Life rolled on, and with it, went the days. I took nuisances from the Board, continued to train at times, met up with Jessup for some hard-earned ale and waited for the other shoe to drop.
The unicorn told me that I wasn’t alone in my head. A fact that I was keenly aware of, but it hadn’t been made manifest in quite some time now. There was no strange buzzing feeling and no voice telling me to go somewhere or do something. Nothing out of the ordinary was happening to me, or around me. Life was about as normal as it got for a Nuisance Man in Capital City.
“Hey, Sarge.” I walked into the watchhouse, as I did a couple of times a week now. I had a fair bit of money set aside at this point and could have taken some time off to pursue other interests if I wished. The problem was, I didn’t really have very many other interests. I drank ale and I went after nuisances, that was pretty much it.
And I was still determined that I would get better at my job, until nothing that got posted on the Board would be out of my reach. That was going to take time and determination and while I may have been lazy about some things in my life…okay, most things…I was not when it came to this. I kept going in, kept taking notices and kept getting better.
Goblins were routine, now. Orcs were becoming less and less of a challenge, if you discounted Wulfonson, which I most definitely did. I didn’t know what that guy was, but there was no way that he was merely an orc. Gnolls were a little more challenging, as they tended to slip into a bestial mode pretty quickly, which made them unpredictable. But after a close call or two, I got proficient against them as well.
Today, after Sarge essentially ignored my entrance, I stood at the Board. My eyes kept being drawn back to one particular notice, a floating eye. I saw it before, back when the other Nuisance Men first disappeared, but then it must have been thrown out when Sarge cleared the Board. Now it was back, which meant this thing was still around, still terrorizing the neighborhood, or whatever it was doing.
I took the notice down and read over it. The eye had set-up shop in the Stews, that most diverse area of the city, since a lot of the new-comers tended to settle there first. As a result, you have representatives of nearly every race you can think of, all intermixing, living next to each other and trying to get by.
The eye, like all their kind, was nothing more than pure greed, wrapped in malice, and coated over with a good, thick, layer of evil. They delighted in money, gold, jewelry, or any other type of treasure, even though they couldn’t use it. The name, Floating Eye, pretty much describes exactly what they are. Large, floating orbs, with one big eye that stares out, unblinking, and beneath that a huge mouth, filled with sharp fangs.
They’re said to be magic and can do all sorts of nasty things with that one eye, but the one thing they can’t do is grow hands. They gather all this money and treasure to themselves, but then can do nothing with it. It sits in big piles, getting moldy and rusty and the eye keeps on collecting more.
This one was apparently setting up quite the criminal enterprise for itself, and had several other beings working for it. They did all the things that one would think a criminal organization would do. Extortion, kidnapping, murder, you name it.
Frankly, I was amazed that the Watch let this one get up on the Board, but since it was there, I might as well take it.
“Taking this one, Sarge,” I said on my way out the door.
He didn’t even bother with a grunt this time.
I loved the Stews. Oh, I admit, when the other races first started flooding in, taking advantage of His Majesty’s decree, I was every bit against it as pretty much everyone else. I was only a child then, but still, I was against it.
Then I got older and realized that for the most part, it was good for the city. And, it led to my current career, which was one I was fairly certain that I was born to have.
It turned out to be harder than I expected to find the floating eye. The neighborhood was terrified, and no one wanted to be the one to talk, lest they bring the wrath of the whole organization down on their own head. Not even the dwarf who posted the notice wanted to say much, and that was saying something. Dwarves are as hard-headed and stubborn as they come, and for one of them to suddenly become tongue-tied said a great deal. This one glanced around furtively when he answered my knock, handed me money and shut the door quickly, no questions asked.
I was beginning to second-guess my decision to take this on, when I saw my first real lead. An orc was walking into a shop, flanked by two gnolls, who were obviously there to be fierce and intimidating. I walked in behind them, pretending a sudden interest in the delicate pottery arrayed carefully on shelves and small tables.
The shopkeeper was a young woman of uncommon beauty and talent. Her creations were almost ephemeral, a trick that’s hard to pull off when you worked in rough clay. She was seated at a table, her newest work in front of her, being shaped by her hands and her hair, which moved on its own, pushing and smoothing the material in front of her. At first glance, it looked like a flower being formed, one so perfect that I’d be hard pressed to tell it from a real one.
All that beauty was lost on the orc, to say nothing of the gnolls. They didn’t so much as glance at any of the pieces displayed, but walked straight toward the young woman.
“Time to pay,” the orc growled.
The woman stopped working the clay, her hair settling down into a long flowing mane.
“But it hasn’t been a month yet.”
“New schedule,” the orc said. “Now it’s every two weeks.”
“I can’t! I don’t have the money!”
One of the gnolls casually lifted a paw and pushed a clay figure of an elfin woman, dancing with her gown flowing around her, from its pedestal. It hit the floor and shattered.
The orc chuckled. “Whoops. We’ll give you a day. If you don’t have the money by then, maybe you can come work out something with himself. He likes your stuff, so maybe you can work for him.”
I saw the anger flare up in the woman’s eyes, but she dropped her gaze and didn’t say anything. The trio of thugs turned to leave, but I was blocking their way. I stared at them as they approached.
“Nice day, fella,” the orc said to me. “Now why don’t you move your scrawny ass out the way before it isn’t?”
I glared at him, itching to pull my sword and put it right through his sneering mouth. But I didn’t. I might get the drop on him, but the two gnolls would be a fight, and in the process, there wouldn’t be much of the artwork in this shop left intact. I dropped my eyes and moved to the side.
“Good boy,” he said, and they shouldered past me, back out to the street.
I nodded to the woman and left, following them. They made several more stops, and were so confident in what they were doing that they never even noticed me tailing them, but wherever they went, they left a string of glum, hopeless expressions.
Eventually, they ended up back at a large building. The orc performed an elaborate knock on the door, and from across the street I watched as it opened, and my jaw dropped. The doorman was nothing less than a minotaur. Even if there was nothing else to worry about, there was no way I was getting past him.
Well, if brute force wasn’t going to get the job done, I would have to rely on my wits. I needed help, and a particular kind of help, and I knew just where to get it.
It didn’t take long. I didn’t know what it was about that guy, but Wulfonson and I had a particular talent for running into each other. I
simply strolled around alleys close by where I last encountered him, and sure enough, there he was, little dog in tow.
He sneered when he saw me, put his book to the side carefully and stood up. He didn’t even bother picking up his war hammer.
“I’m not here for trouble,” I told him, putting my hands up to show him that they were empty. “I need your help.”
He looked me up and down, snorted, returned to his seat against the alley wall and picked his book up again. “Not interested.”
“Not even for half the fee?”
He looked up at me. “What fee?”
“My fee. For eliminating a nuisance.”
“You want me to help you, a filthy, little Nuisance Man, kill some helpless non-human? I don’t think so.”
“I don’t just kill anyone. Only those who end up on the Board.”
“Like me, you mean?” His eyes grew even colder, if that was possible.
“Alright, maybe you were a mistake. I don’t know. It didn’t really say what you did.”
He laughed, his contempt obvious. “Because I hadn’t done a thing. Not that you cared.”
“You must have done something,” I protested. “You are Unhoused after all.”
Oh, yeah. He didn’t like to be reminded of that. He sprang to his feet and loomed over me. I’ve been loomed over before, but Wulfonson could win awards for it. He made me feel like I was about six inches shorter than I was.
“What do you know about it?” he growled at me.
“Nothing, really. Look, I’m not here for all that. I really need your help and I think if you listen, you’ll be glad to give it.”
For a moment, I thought I was going to be on the receiving end of one of his slaps again, but he moved back a pace. “Talk.”
I told him about the eye and what it was up to. If the thing set-up its operations anywhere other than the Stews, Wulfonson probably wouldn’t have cared less. But since it was there, it was mostly non-humans being targeted, including other orcs.
“What do expect me to do about it?” he asked me.
“Be my backup. I know I’m not up to trying to push past a minotaur. But you are. Bring that overgrown hammer with you, and we’ll bust into the place. All you need to do is keep the others off me while I finish off the eye.”
He glared at me for a moment, then returned to his spot. I thought he was going to decline my offer and go back to his reading, but instead, he picked up his book and tucked it away inside his shirt. He picked up his war hammer and whistled for the dog, which bounded happily to his side.
“Let’s go,” he said.
It was an uncomfortable walk back to the Stews. For one, I was certain that the dog was still laughing at me, and I kept watching it, waiting for a red glint to appear in its eyes. And also, Wulfonson was a taciturn traveling companion. He offered no conversation and responded to any of my attempts with a grunt that would have made Sarge proud.
I was almost glad when I saw the building that the orc and his gnoll guards disappeared into.
I watched the place for a moment, then turned to Wulfonson. “Now here’s what I think we should…”
He told his dog to stay and strode by me, pulling his hammer from the harness on his back. Without slowing, he walked up to the door and pounded on it, rattling it in its frame so violently that I expected it to burst. There was a startled exclamation from behind it, and then it cracked open, the minotaur blinking out.
“What do you wa….?”
That was as far as he got before Wulfonson hit him. He swung the hammer up and jabbed the head of it forward, so that the top of it caught the minotaur square in the stomach. Minotaurs are tough, and they are exemplary soldiers, but this one never knew what hit him. His breath rushed out of him and he started to bend forward, his already large eyes huge and staring. Wulfonson brought the hammer up, almost casually, and caught him under his bovine-like chin, and that was it. The fight was over before it started.
The minotaur fell back with a crash, thudding to the floor and staying perfectly still. Wulfonson pushed the door open all the way and turned back to me, waiting.
“Well, I guess we could barge right on in, too,” I muttered.
I drew my sword, ran up the stairs and into the building. The noise attracted attention, but other than the minotaur, the eye hadn’t gathered much top-level talent. The orc I saw before came barreling out of a side room, a large serrated dagger in his hand. He took one look at me…well, probably Wulfonson….dropped the dagger and ran back into the room he emerged from, slamming the door behind him. I heard what sounded like furniture being hastily pulled over as a barricade.
The two gnolls were braver, but not nearly as smart. They rushed us, fangs bared, saliva flowing. I took one of them, letting him run right past me as I sidestepped, and hamstringing him. I finished him off before he could get back to his feet.
The one Wulfonson hit bounced off a wall and lay still. I only saw it out of the corner of my eye, but it didn’t look like the orc put much into the blow. He was one seriously scary individual.
There were others that came forward, but word of what was coming spread through the building quickly. Pretty soon I could hear glass breaking as those inside decided to take their chances jumping from a window rather than face us. I’m sure it was both of us that inspired such fear. Word of what happened when a Nuisance Man came for you must have made it that far.
We found the eye in a room full of money, jewels and fine art. It was all mixed in with cookware, clothing, toys and anything else you could think of. The eye was taking whatever people had, regardless of how poor they were.
It laughed when we came into the room.
“Isn’t this something?” Its voice burbled, and spit flowed out of its mouth as it spoke. “A human and orc working together. What’s next? Half-elves? Half-orcs?”
Wulfonson was studying the articles in the room, coming to a slower conclusion than I had of what it meant. He was not pleased. His eyes narrowed and he hefted his hammer, his arm cocking back for a throw that would squish the eye like an overgrown grape.
“Uh, uh, uh,” the eye said. A beam of light shot out from it, engulfing Wulfonson. I tried to shove him out of the way, but it was like trying to move that statue all over again. He didn’t budge an inch. The ray of light disappeared, and Wulfonson stood unmoving, his eyes unfocused.
“Now,” the eye said, “let’s see how you fare against him!”
Wulfonson turned to me, his hammer coming up very slowly.
Crap. I didn’t fare well against him the last two times. And this time he held an actual weapon, which he had already shown an amazing aptitude with.
I sprang back as the hammer came whistling down, crashing into the floor and splintering the boards.
“Wulfonson!” I yelled, trying to get through to him. “Snap out of it!”
No luck. He swung again, and I ducked, the hammer whistling above me. I stepped closer, trying to get inside the swing but that put me closer to his hands. He dropped the hammer and grabbed me, pulling me tightly against him, his arms coming around me and squeezing. My ribs creaked, and I only had seconds before they were going to break.
I reared my head back and snapped it forward, smashing my forehead into his nose. I saw stars, but I did hear a satisfying crunch as his nose broke. He grunted, a different type this time, and his grip loosened for a second, but he didn’t let go. I did it again, and caught him the same way.
Wulfonson was a fierce fighter. If he was in control of himself, there was no way I would have gotten away with a trick like that twice. But since the floating eye was controlling him, I managed it. The second blow staggered him and he dropped me.
I needed to move quickly. I rolled away from him, sprang to my feet and ran to get behind him, snagging a ragged shirt thrown on a pile of items. I jumped up and wrapped it around Wulfonson’s head from the back, holding on for dear life as I tried to knot it. It wasn’t going to hold for long, but I didn’t need i
t to. Just long enough for the eyes influence to fade away.
Wulfonson froze. I turned, sword in hand and started for the eye.
“Where do you think you’re going?” it said, and the same light shot out of it at me.
It did nothing. I felt nothing and didn’t even need to squint to see through it. I kept approaching, and it backed up, bobbing in the air, shooting beam after different colored beam of light at me. None of them with any effect.
“What are you?” it wailed. “Stop! Obey! I command you!”
I hefted my sword, enjoying this feeling. But then, there was a roar behind me and Wulfonson ripped the shirt from his head. The eye spun toward him, the light shooting out of it, attempting to get the huge orc under its control again.
It was too late. The hammer was already flying and the light it passed through on its way had no more effect on it than it did on me. The noise was the sound of a melon hitting the pavement when it fell off a fruit mongers cart and hit the cobbles, only much louder.
Lucky me, I was close enough to get doused. Again.
I split the fee with Wulfonson, as promised.
I really wanted to get home and get cleaned off, but there was something nagging at me. Wulfonson was not walking back with me, but he did leave the building. Outside, he grabbed a passing goblin and spoke to him in low tones. The goblin stared at him for a second and then took off at a run.
“Thanks for the help,” I said to him.
He whistled. The little dog ran up, jumped, and Wulfonson cradled him in his massive arms. “Yeah.” But he wasn’t paying much attention to me. The dog was licking his face and he was cuddling it, all the while looking around the street.
“Guess that’s it, then,” I said, nodding at him and walking away.
“Grandfather.”
I turned back. “Yeah?”
“Not everything is what it seems, sometimes. You should be more careful in who you take off that damn Board.”
He turned away and stomped back to the building the eye once occupied. I watched him go, considering his words. I wasn’t real sure what he meant by it.
Duke Grandfather- The Whole Story Page 67
