by Ali Parker
“Izzz this Burts?” A loud hiccup caused me to grimace.
“Mom, really?” I put on my blinker and checked over my shoulder. First, Brody was a cock and cheated on me at the Omega party. Then I had to sleep with him to keep the peace, and now, my mother was blitzed at ten o’clock in the morning.
“Who izzz this?” Another hiccup.
“It’s me, Mom. Is Cally there?”
“Who’zzz this Cally perzzzzon?” Hiccup.
“I’m almost there. Just stay put and I’ll take care of everything when I get there.” I dropped the call and pinched the bridge of my nose as a weariness rolled over me that I was getting too used to feeling. It seemed like my mother was going to drink herself to death, and it would be me that would have to bury her body and take custody of my wayward kid sister. I deserved it in some way or another, or so it felt.
I pulled up to the rundown trailer and cut the engine, sitting there for a few minutes as I tried to slow my racing heart. Attacking my mother wasn’t going to get me anywhere, but it would feel damn good for the few minutes I tore her apart. She’d almost ruined my life with her drinking and had most certainly turned my sister from a sweet, innocent girl to a half-crazed, ruthless bitch.
I hated them both for not fighting for something better.
The door flung open as I approached it, and I had to jerk back not to get hit by it.
“Stop telling me what to do! You’re a fucking embarrassment, and I wish you would die already.” Cally blew by me and growled, “What are you looking at?”
“A spoiled brat.” I walked into the house and stopped after just walking into the living room. My mom was drawing something with her finger in the air as she sang the theme song from an old TV show we’d watched when I was little. “Mom, you need to try and sober up. You’re going to be late to work if you don’t.”
“Work?” She tried to sit up but failed to do it. The bottle of Jim Beam on the coffee table in front of her was the culprit no doubt. “I lost that jobzzz a week ago.”
“No, you didn’t.” I walked toward the couch and helped her lie down. “Just get a nap and I’ll call Mr. Mueller and let him know you’ll call when you get up.”
“He fired me. He did.” She reached up and touched the side of my face as a silly smile appeared on her lips. “He’s a cutie though, right? It was worth it all if he decides he wantzz to be my manzz.”
“He is cute, Mom, but you don’t need a man. You need a job to take care of you and Cally.”
And me.
“You sure are priiiitty.” She hiccupped and patted my face. “Look just like your damn daddyzz.”
“All right, Mom. I’ll bring Cally home later.”
The car horn honked loudly and my sister’s voice carried into the house as she screamed for me to hurry my fat ass up.
My mom closed her eyes and started to hum again as I pulled a blanket down from the back of the couch and covered her up. I brushed a kiss by her forehead and walked out of the house, locking the door and giving my sister the evil eye as I climbed into the driver’s side.
She was the spitting image of me at sixteen. Long shapely legs, brown silky hair that danced along her shoulders, and boobs far too big for her own good. Too bad she was a complete hood rat.
“What took so fucking long?”
“Watch your mouth.” I glared over at her and buckled my seatbelt. “Did Mom lose her job again?”
“Yeah, she always does, and don’t tell me to watch my mouth. You don’t know what it’s like here. You’re off living the dream, remember?”
I bit my tongue. No need to tell her about my morning of being pressed to a bed by the biggest cock on campus because he was the only means I had for getting groceries that week or my uniforms for summer cheer team. She wouldn’t understand anyway. She thought Brody hung the moon, and she wasn’t alone. Half the campus wanted to bow down and worship the asshole simply because he was a god on the field.
“You better act right today. I might put up with your shit, but Coach Rhodes isn’t going to. She doesn’t put up with anyone. One mess up and you’ll be walking back to Mom’s. Got it?”
“Whatever.”
I popped her in the chest as anger burned through me. “I’m serious, Cally. If you want a chance at being anything better than what Mom is, you better pull yourself together. You aren’t a kid anymore. You’re almost a woman. Start acting like it.”
“Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.” She turned and faced the opposite window, trying to hide the fact that she was crying.
I wanted to reach out and apologize, but it would do neither of us any good. We weren’t friends. We were sisters that didn’t have a relationship and probably never would.
I couldn’t help but feel the heaviness of knowing who was to blame for that.
Me.
Chapter 8
Jacob
The sound of Adele singing Hello in my ear woke me up, which on most mornings was pleasant, but something about this one made it more of an agitation.
“Hello already. Shit.” I patted the bed, trying to find the source of the noise and getting more and more agitated with my failure to make it stop.
My head was pounding so hard that even the small amount of light filtering through my window left me dizzy. I pulled my pillow over my head and groaned as my door opened and someone came in and turned the phone off.
“Damn. Are you trying to wake up the whole house?” Micah pulled the pillow from my face and smacked me in the side of the head with it.
“Ouch! My head hurts,” I barked loudly and ripped the pillow from his hands before launching it at him. “Get out.”
“No. Get up. You set your clock so you could go visit your dad, remember?”
“How’d you know?” I turned onto my stomach and groaned loudly.
“Because I helped you do it after you puked your guts out, man. Someone spiked several of the drinks last night, remember?”
“Hell no, I don’t remember.” I ran my hands down my face as I sat up with the room spinning around me. “I’m gonna be sick again.”
“Good. Come on. Get that shit out of you.” He pulled at my arm and hustled me into the bathroom. I hit my knees as my stomach erupted and I gave myself over to the pain of vomiting. I couldn’t remember shit from the night before other than Emily getting upset with Brody over being a whore and leaving before I got the chance to say much of anything to her.
“Goddammit.” I groaned and pressed my face to the side of the toilet as nausea rolled over me. “What the hell did they spike it with? Rat poison?”
“No, a date rape drug. We need to do a better job of censoring who comes over here, Jacob. This could have been really, really bad. Hell, it might still be really bad. I don’t think we’ve seen the worst of it yet.”
“Meaning?” I reached for a towel behind me and wiped my mouth before trying to stand. “I need some toast or something. Shit.”
“Meaning that a lot of people drove out of here last night. Who knows if anyone got in an accident or if they were raped or what? We need to be better stewards of this place, of this fraternity before it gets shut down.”
“All right, man. Now isn’t the time. I can barely see straight.” I stopped by the sink to splash cold water on my face a few times. “What drinks were spiked? I only had beer to drink last night, and I’m pretty sure I popped the tops on all the beers I drank.”
“No, you didn’t. Several of the people handing out beers were popping tops for us, remember?” He reached for me as I stumbled a little coming out of the bathroom.
“I’m fine. Shit.” I leaned against the wall and took a few deep breaths. “So you’re saying one of our own guys spiked the drinks?”
“Or let someone else do it.” He walked toward the stairs and glanced over his shoulder. “Come on. The restaurant opens up in an hour. If you wanna talk with your old man about summer league soccer, you’re going to need to do it before then. You know he’s short staffed.�
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I rolled my eyes and stood up. “How the fuck do you know more about my own business than I do?”
“I’m your best friend. It’s my job.” He jogged down the stairs. “Get some clothes on and meet me downstairs. I’ll make you some toast.”
“I love you,” I called after him and stumbled into my bedroom, faceplanting on my bed and not moving again until he came looking for me.
“Seriously?” I ran my hands down my face and tried hard to figure out what the fuck I was going to do. My scholarship funds had run out earlier that spring after I’d put a few too many dollars in the kitty for booze and snacks for parties.
“Yes, son. Things aren’t going really well, and to be honest, we’re short staffed on top of all of it.” My father shook his head and glanced back at the computer. “We need to figure out a way to get more of the students to come to this side of the campus. Merskys is making a killing, and we only see students when you bring in the soccer team or your frat friends. It’s not like you can do that all of the time.”
“I don’t get it.” I stood up and began to pace the floor in front of his desk. “The pizza here is the best in the whole damn town.”
“Agreed, but after that girl was raped behind the building a few months ago, no one wants to come over here.”
“So we need to change the persona of the place and get some security guys.”
“I like the sound of that, but before we go changing things, let’s talk about your situation. You’re going to be driving to Mount Ida College four to five times a week and sometimes on the weekends. You’ll need money for gas, food, and for your uniform.”
“And the tournaments.” I stopped and crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m going to have to get a job.”
“Use your scholarship money. There has to be some left, right?”
“No. I’m an idiot with money. You know this. You raised me.” I started to pace again. “I’ll just have to get a job somewhere.”
“What about here? You come work for me, and instead of me giving you handouts that I don’t have, I’ll just pay you to help make pizzas.”
“Dad, you know that didn’t work out the first time we tried it. I was eating more pizza than I was selling.” I gripped the back of the chair in front of me and studied his face. He was tired—beyond tired—and I would have sold my soul to give him back the years my mother stole from him. His entire youth had been invested in a cheating bitch that walked out on both of us and left him heartbroken and me in a place where the only person that wanted me wasn’t blood. He was my stepfather, but that all changed the day he became all I had.
“You’ve grown up a little. I think we should try it again.” He shrugged. “I’d rather have you here with me any day of the week. You know that.”
“All right. I guess we’ll try it. We need to come up with a few more ways to get people to start paying DeAngelo’s attention again too. I’ll talk to the guys and see what we can come up with.”
“Thank you, son.” He turned back to his computer.
“Anything for you.” I walked to the door and paused. “When do I start?”
“Tomorrow night at six. Don’t be late or I’ll dock your pay. No special treatment for you.” He smiled but didn’t look my way.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I waited until I was outside of the building to let down my pretense. I didn’t have time for a job and summer league in Waban. It was going to be too much. I’d try it for a while, but I knew myself. Between the practices, game time, and working out, I was going to be mentally and physically fried. There was no way I could do the pizza parlor or my dad justice running on empty.
“Why? Why me? I don’t fucking get it.” I pulled my sweater over my head and dropped it in the stands as I jogged toward the empty track. The sickness in my stomach only grew worse as I pushed myself around the track over and over, sweat pouring down my face and dizziness setting in.
I wasn’t enough. Not for him or the summer team or the frat house. I had let them down by not being more diligent in checking who was taking care of the liquor for us. I trusted the guys in the house without question, and it was a mistake to do it.
I’d be lucky if I didn’t have to pay dearly for it.
My stomach turned violently, and I raced toward the trashcan on the far side of the field, barely making it before I vomited. My sides hurt and my head started to throb again. Fuck me for thinking I could push myself to do anything with drugs pumping through my system. It would be just my luck to get tested for drugs the next morning at practice and pop positive.
“Jacob?” The sweet voice that filled my ears ushered in a sense of longing that I couldn’t handle at that moment, and yet there was nowhere to run to.
“Emily?” I glanced behind me to find her dressed in her cute navy and white cheerleading outfit. Her tanned legs went on for days, and the white ribbons in her ponytail made her innocence only stand out more. I was an asshole for wanting her.
The group of what looked like teenage girls behind her began to giggle. She jerked around and pointed toward the field behind us.
“Go to the other side and work on your technique. We’ll have a quiz in a little while over the things we covered this morning. Get to it, and mind your own business.”
I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and let my eyes run down her back, only to linger on the thick swell of her perfect ass. How badly I wanted to strip her down and run my hands all over her. She’d been almost prudish the night we’d slept together, only letting me take her to bed in the dark. I’d yet to truly experience her body, but her warmth? Oh hell yeah, I knew what it felt like to be tucked up against her. It was the reason I ached to have her again.
“I’m sorry.” She turned back to face me and tucked a random strand of her hair out of her eyes.
“Don’t apologize. I was just trying to jog away the drugs in my system.” I slipped my hands into my pockets and worked to memorize the concern on her face.
“What? Did you smoke something last night?” She moved toward me but didn’t touch me. “You know your scholarships are tied to you keeping your body in tip-top shape.”
“I was roofied.” I reached out and tucked that same wild hair behind her ear. “I’m not a total idiot. I try to stay away from anything I promised the college I wouldn’t get involved in. Some dumbass spiked the beers last night.”
“Oh.” She glanced down and back up at me, stealing my breath. “I don’t drink.”
“Really? Not at all?” A smirk pulled at my lips, and try as I may, I couldn’t get it to leave me be.
“Not since that night.” Her cheeks flushed pink. “Anyway. You okay or do you need some help?”
“I’m fine. You dumped that asshole last night, right?” I shouldn’t have pushed my luck with her. After the way things went last night, I was lucky she was talking to me at all.
“No. It’s not that easy.” She brushed her hair back and shook her head. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“He’s an asshole that slept with three other women.”
“It was oral sex.” She shrugged, but the hurt in her eyes said it didn’t matter what he’d done. She’d have forgiven him anyway. Why? Why was she letting him run all over her?
Anger burned through the center of my chest, throwing my stomach into another set of flips.
“What? That’s bullshit. He cheated on you and he’s done it more times than most of us can count.” I reached for her, but she stepped back.
“It’s not your decision on whether or not I give him another chance.”
“Do you have no fucking self-respect at all?” I hated myself the minute it slipped from my lips. She was a good woman and deserved a good man. Why couldn’t I have said that instead?
“You don’t know shit about me.” She turned and walked past me, leaving me with the scent of her shampoo filling my lungs and an ache deep inside of me.
I didn’t know shit, but I sure as fuck wanted to.
Chapter 9
Emily
“How dare he?” I mumbled under my breath as I walked toward the group of overly excited teenage girls.
My sister moved out of the crowd and dropped the shit-eating grin she’d had plastered to her face for most of the morning. It was a good thing she was as good of a liar as she was. It would come in handy for fooling the rest of the world and getting her way.
“I heard something earlier about a cheerleading scholarship. Is that true? Is there one?” She reached out and grabbed my hand while bouncing on her toes like an overly excited girl her age might do.
“Yeah. There are several organizations that give out scholarships. We have one or two here, but good luck getting them.”
“One of the girls mentioned that the coaches are watching us this summer to see if anyone might be a good candidate.”
“Really? That’s news to me. I’ll ask Coach Rhodes about it the next time I get her alone. Get back in line and push off the balls of your feet when you do your jumps. You’re not getting the height that some of these girls are getting. It’s fine when you’re performing alone, but it’s more than obvious when you’re in the group cheers.”
“Okay, I will.” She turned and walked back toward the group only to pause and glance back. “I’m sorry about this morning.”
“Me too.” I nodded and tried not to let my heart ache over the hope that we could work things out. We’d worn out the word sorry for so long and so many times that it held very little meaning anymore.
“Emily, come over here for a minute.” Coach Rhodes motioned for me to join her. Her long blonde hair was in a high ponytail and she looked about ten years younger than she was. Her uniform was pristine, but instead of the short skirt like most of us wore, she had on matching joggers.
“Yeah, Coach?” I jogged over and stopped in front of her and Coach Diaz.
“You know Coach Diaz, right? He’s the head coach for the soccer team here at Providence.”
