Lust

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by Victoria Christopher Murray


  All that mattered was that I loved Damon King, and though I couldn’t explain what had happened, I knew this: Damon King loved me, too.

  When my husband laid me on the bed, undressed me, connected with me, I was dizzy with love. I wasn’t able to think about it then, but later, when I looked back, Damon still didn’t make me feel the way that Trey had; Damon made me feel better than that. It was deeper than a feeling. Damon’s heart reached into my head, into my soul; Damon’s heart touched mine.

  In those hours spent loving my husband and he loving me, I knew that no one would ever come between us again. Because I realized then that it was true. That what God truly brought together, no man, no woman, no affair, and definitely not the devil could take it apart. It could only be destroyed if you allowed it to be.

  So from that day forward, I honored every vow I’d made before God. I was able to forsake all others. Forever. And ever.

  Epilogue

  Mamacita, look at you!”

  Sonia stood up at the little round table where she and Allen sat. Damon took my hand and spun me around. I did one of those Simone Biles spins, like I was a top gymnast, but when I stopped after just two revolutions, Damon had to hold my hand to steady me and keep me upright.

  We all laughed as I smoothed down the gold bustier mini that Damon had paid a couple of thousand dollars to have an upcoming fashion designer make for me.

  “You look fabulous anyway,” Sonia shrieked over the music.

  I hugged Allen first, then Sonia. “You act like you haven’t seen me. I’ve been looking fabulous for weeks.”

  “Yeah, but you’re always wearing one of those muumuus. Or a smock at the spa.”

  I waved my hand, scooting next to her in the booth. “I haven’t worn a muumuu since DJ was born.”

  She held her hand over her heart. “And how is my godson?” She swooned every time she heard my son’s name.

  “Perfect.” I posed my hand over my chest the same way, since I always swooned, too, whenever I looked at or heard or thought about the six-pound, two-ounce baby God felt that Damon and I were worthy to have.

  “Bae, you want something to drink?” Damon shouted.

  “Just a glass of wine,” I said.

  He nodded, leaned over, and kissed me and then he and Allen did one of those strut-strolls that men always do when they know women, especially their women, are watching.

  I sighed and my eyes followed him until he disappeared through the crowd. “I love that man.”

  “I know.” She shook her head. “Who would’ve thought after . . .”

  I turned and held up my hand up right in front of her face. “Let’s not go there.”

  She nodded as if she accepted my words, but now that she’d brought it up, I couldn’t do anything but think about it. Especially since we were back here at DC After Dark, the place where I’d had my last encounter with Trey Taylor.

  I’d hardly thought of that man, and it always surprised me whenever he come into my mind. It was as if God had blotted him from my memory and the earth at the same time.

  Sonia must’ve heard my thoughts because she said, “It’s hard to believe that Trey hasn’t shown his face back here.”

  I shrugged. “I think you called it. This was all about Damon, this was all about hurting him. I still think he was behind the blackmail and I still think he told Damon something.”

  Sonia waved her finger in the air. “Trust me, your husband doesn’t know anything, because he’s still your husband and you should be glad about that.”

  “I am,” I said, even though I didn’t entirely agree with her. Though Damon would never talk about it, I was sure that he knew something. That had to be the reason why the blackmailer never called me again and it had to be the reason why he and Trey were no longer friends. Trey had disappeared, probably returning to the underbelly of life that he loved. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d been picked up and convicted again, and if that was the case, I hoped this time he’d serve his twenty years. “The only thing that I will always regret is that whether Damon knows or not, Trey knows. And I let him use me to get to my husband.”

  “Really, chica?” She did one of those gangsta leans away from me. “You’re still saying that? When someone comes after you like that, when you’re at the top of someone’s revenge agenda . . . how many times have I told you that it wasn’t totally your fault?”

  Sonia had said that a million times in the months that had passed. But, while it was good to hear, it was hard to believe. I just couldn’t get myself to understand how I’d gotten so caught up with that man. Sitting here right now, I couldn’t even remember what it was about Trey that had me coming so close to paying such a high price, and I wasn’t sure if I just had a bad memory or that my life with Damon was so good it had wiped away all thoughts of Trey.

  “Well, whatever,” Sonia spoke through what I was thinking, “you’re living a good life.”

  Now I leaned away from her. “Stop reading my mind.”

  “I’m just sayin’, this could have gone a whole ’nother way if Damon had ever found out. Trey is one lucky dude.”

  “I don’t know how lucky he is, but I know how blessed I am.”

  “Well, if he wants to stay lucky . . .”

  “You know what?” I said. “Let’s talk about something else. Like my wonderful son?”

  Sonia pressed her hand against her chest once again. “Is Ms. Irene with him tonight?”

  I nodded. “My grandmother is there with her, too, you know. Because we don’t like leaving Ms. Irene alone with DJ. He can be too much for her.”

  “But she loves him. I see it every time I see her with him.”

  I nodded and once again was grateful that Ms. Irene was in our lives, and so happy that she’d moved in with us. She’d been heartbroken when Trey left DC without even calling her. But Damon told me that was Trey’s MO. He’d done it before and this time, Damon wanted to step up even more than he’d done before.

  “She’s getting too old to leave alone,” Damon had explained when he asked me what I thought about having her live with us.

  I’d agreed right away, feeling in some way that being able to live with her and love her was a kind of penance. And by having her there, Damon Jr. made her wake up with a smile every day, even when her biological grandson had deserted her.

  “Well, I haven’t seen DJ in, like, forty-eight hours,” Sonia said. “So that means . . .”

  “You’ll see him tomorrow. I’m bringing him to church.”

  “Nah, nah, nah.”

  We glanced up and Allen was shaking his head as he and Damon approached our table, each carrying two drinks.

  Allen said, “We’re gonna break this up.”

  “What?” Sonia and I said together.

  “No talking shop.” He sat down next to Sonia and kissed her cheek. “That’s what you were talking about the whole time we were gone, right?” He laughed, looking from Sonia to me, and then back to his wife.

  “¡Absolutamente!” With that, she gave her husband a kiss. A real kiss, one of those tongue-on-tongue kisses as if no one else was around.

  “Ah, son, get a room.” Damon chuckled and took my hand. “Well, since they’re gonna make out, let’s get our dance on.”

  As if on cue, the salsa beat filled the room. We were still on the edge of the dance floor, shimmying our shoulders and shuffling our feet, when Drake began to sing, and we joined him: I thank God you came / How many more days could I wait? . . . / I think I’d lie for you / I think I’d die for you . . .

  Damon put his hands on my hips and pulled me close. As I swayed to the beat, my husband’s lips grazed my ear and I sighed.

  He whisper-sang in my ear. “I’d make a deal for you, I’m sure I’d kill for you . . .”

  Laughing, I leaned back. “Has it been so long since you’ve hea
rd the song that you’ve forgotten the words?”

  “What?” He frowned. “Those ain’t the words?”

  “No.” The music changed to a slow jam and we slowed our roll. I leaned in against my husband. “And I like Drake’s words better.”

  “Okay.”

  “’Cause I don’t want you killing anyone for me.”

  He sighed. “Okay. I won’t.”

  I laughed at his feigned reluctance. “Mr. King, do you know how much I love you?”

  He nodded. “I do. And do you . . .”

  I kissed my husband before he finished. Because if there was one thing I was sure of, it was that he loved me. He didn’t have to tell me. He always showed me. In ways known and unknown.

  TOUCHSTONE READING GROUP GUIDE

  * * *

  LUST

  VICTORIA

  CHRISTOPHER

  MURRAY

  For Discussion

  1.What are the various ways that lust drives a wedge between people in Lust? Do you think it’s the most dangerous of the seven deadly sins?

  2.Tiffanie is so scared of turning out like her mother. Do you think lust is stronger in some people than in others? Do you think it runs in families as Tiffanie fears?

  3.Respect is very important to Damon. Why do you think that is? Do you agree that Trey should show him and Tiffanie more respect when they’re first reunited? What does Damon’s emphasis on respect tell you about his character?

  4.History and loyalty are also very important to Damon. Why do you think that is? Do you agree with him that you should always try to help those you’ve known for a long time?

  5.Trey’s intent to use Tiffanie as a pawn makes him seem like the actual devil. Do you agree with that characterization? Why do you think Trey seduces Tiffanie? Is this temptation really from Satan?

  6.What does Tiffanie’s orgasm represent to her? Why does she risk so much for “that feeling”? Do you think she eventually finds sexual satisfaction with Damon? Are there connections in life that are more important than a sexual one?

  7.How does Sonia’s marriage align with what Tiffanie wants for herself? These two women have been through so much together. Why do you think Tiffanie doesn’t always listen to Sonia’s wisdom, even though it’s offered with love?

  8.There are three people in the older generation that are important in the book: Reverend Cooper, Tiffanie’s grandmother, and Ms. Irene. How do they guide Tiffanie, Damon, and Trey and influence the younger generation’s decision-making?

  9.Trey ends his toast, “I wish you two all the happiness that you deserve.” Why is this wish a double-edged sword? Have you ever made a statement to someone that seemed kind but implied your true feelings?

  10.Tiffanie prays for the strength to resist the devil. Has there ever been a time in your life when you’ve called on God to help you resist temptation, whether in the form of lustful thoughts or other seven deadly sins?

  11.The shifting urban landscape of Washington, DC, plays a major part in Damon’s business and in Lust. How have you seen your own city or town change over time as new developments come in and old businesses leave?

  12.How did you react to Damon’s attempt to get the truth? Would you have done the same or confronted Tiffanie directly? Do you think what he did was right?

  A Discussion with Victoria Christopher Murray

  You’ve written more than twenty books. Do you learn new things every time you write a new book? How is each book a distinct experience for you?

  This is a really good question because I do learn something every single time I write. You would think that with all of these books if I don’t know everything, I know a lot. But each time, my agent, Liza Dawson, and my editor, Lauren Spiegel, challenge me with questions I never thought about. I continuously learn to layer my story, to have multiple issues going on with the characters at the same time. The learning process is what I love best about writing.

  What made the DC area the perfect place to set Lust? Why did you choose Dubai for Tiffanie and Damon’s honeymoon? Have you been to Dubai?

  I chose DC because I’m living there now and this is only my second book to take place there. So, I knew that I could “flavor” the book with the music of the District of Columbia. I enjoyed that part. As far as choosing Dubai, I had to find a place where someone like Damon would have taken Tiffanie on their honeymoon. He was a rich young man, so he wouldn’t have taken a domestic trip, and there’s no place more exotic than Dubai. I did think about Hawaii, but with Dubai, I felt that I could take the readers on a trip to someplace they’d never been. I haven’t been to Dubai, but I’m planning a trip in the next two years.

  Where did the idea for Lust come from originally? What drew you to the challenges of fidelity as a theme for the characters?

  Actually, the idea for this series came from another author, Vickie Stringer, who told me that I needed to write the seven deadly sins. She told me she thought this was a topic that I could grapple with and turn into an interesting story. That was back in 2011, and though I did try to write it, the book never moved from being half finished. Then, this year, my agent said this was the time. And I’m glad she pushed me.

  You write in both Damon’s and Tiffanie’s voices. Which was harder to get right? What were the rewards of switching between the POVs of your two main characters? What were the challenges?

  It was definitely more difficult to write in Damon’s voice. Not because it was a male voice—I’ve written in male voices before. The challenge was Damon’s character. He was from the streets and I can’t even lie—the only thing I’ve ever done is cross a street. So, I had to find a way to find his voice. ReShonda Tate Billingsley suggested that I watch a couple of TV shows. That helped a bit. And then speaking with male friends helped as well.

  The book ends very happily and several years after the conclusion of the action. Why did you choose to end the book on such a happy note after having put Tiffanie and Damon through such struggles to get to the ending?

  Well, that’s interesting. I’m not sure that the book ends all that happily, especially since I’m not known for happy endings. And, I’m not sure how much time has passed in the epilogue, but if I had to guess, it’s only about a year and a half or two. But, I ended the book the way I did to wrap up the story. I’m hoping that there are no holes for readers so that I won’t hear screams for a sequel . . .

  Who are some ladies in your life who serve the purpose that Ms. Irene and Gram do in the book? Do you have older women in your life who have guided you?

  Well . . . at my age, I’m the older woman. LOL. But of course, I have my mom and my mother-in-law is amazing, too. My pastor, Beverly “BAM” Crawford has been a wonderful example for me as well.

  What’s your favorite passage from the Bible? What was the most influential to you in writing this book, if they’re not the same passage?

  My favorite scripture is Jeremiah 29:11 and interestingly enough, I don’t think I used it in this story, though I’ve used it often before. As far as scriptures for this book, I can’t say that there was one that influenced me because though people believe this, the seven deadly sins are not in the Bible. I think many will be surprised to hear that. So, there wasn’t a scripture as much as there were some of the tenets of the Christian faith for me. Like, how when God really brings a couple together, nothing can tear them apart. Those two people are the ones who decide to break apart. Also, how God does give us a way to escape temptation. It’s difficult, but we can do it. So I relied more on what I know as a Christian rather than specific scriptures in this book.

  Do you identify more closely with Tiffanie or her best friend, Sonia?

  Hmmm . . . probably her best friend, Sonia. For many of my friends, I serve as the one who gives advice. And I have my friend’s backs—don’t come for them . . . I’ll always protect them if I can.

&nbs
p; Who would make up your dream cast for the book? Alternatively, who did you have in mind as inspiration for Damon and Trey?

  This is always such a difficult question because I use pictures of every day people from magazines when I’m writing. So, I have no idea who would be good for these roles.

  You’re a prolific author across both adult and YA genres. What are you working on next?

  I’m working on three things right now: another YA book—I haven’t written one in a while, but it will be based on my second novel, Joy; then, I’m working on the second deadly sin, envy, which will feature Sonia and her husband, Allen; and finally, I’m working on a book with ReShonda Tate Billingsley, If Only for One Night. So, I’m spending a lot of time writing right now. And that always makes me happy!

  Enhance Your Book Club

  1.Play the songs from Tiffanie and Damon’s wedding, “The Most Beautiful Girl in the World” and “Adore.” Why do you think Murray chose these songs for this couple?

  2.Read another Victoria Christopher Murray book and compare it to Lust. Her most recent titles include Stand Your Ground and Forever an Ex. Or, create a joint book club with young people who have read one of Victoria Christopher Murray’s YA books.

  3.Schedule a book club for the same weekend that you attend church and/or a club, two of the major settings in Lust. Discuss the different aspects of each experience and how they relate to the book.

  About the Author

  © Rochelle Scott Design and Photography

  VICTORIA CHRISTOPHER MURRAY is the winner of the NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Fiction and the author of more than twenty novels, including The Ex Files; Lady Jasmine; The Deal, the Dance, and the Devil; and Stand Your Ground, which was named a Library Journal Best Book of the Year. Winner of the African American Literary Award for Fiction and Author of the Year (Female), Murray splits her time between Los Angeles and Washington, DC. Visit her website at VictoriaChristopherMurray.com.

 

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