by Sarah Morgan
It occurred to Alekos that he’d never seen a woman cry properly before with no thought to her appearance. Instead of sniffing delicately, Kelly rubbed her face with her hand, smearing tears and mascara together. Alekos, who had never before been moved by tears, had never felt more uncomfortable in his life.
‘We are not going through the motions.’
‘Yes, we are. Have you ever said “I love you”? No, of course not, for the simple reason that you don’t love me! I started off as someone to have sex with and ended up as someone having your baby—’ Her voice hitched. ‘And it’s a mess. The whole situation is a horrid, tangled mess. And it’s not supposed to be like this. It just isn’t!’ She started to sob but when Alekos put his hands on her shoulders she pushed him away roughly.
‘You did it again. When Constantine asked you if you were a father, you said no!’ Her face was wet, her eyes were red and swollen, but Alekos stood with his hands frozen to his sides, knowing that if he touched her she’d flip.
‘Kelly…’
‘No.’ Her hair flew around her face as she shook her head. ‘No more excuses. Do you know what, Alekos? I just can’t do this. I can’t carry on living on a knife edge, wondering whether this is going to be the day you tell me you can’t do this any more. I don’t want our child growing up wondering whether you’re going to be there or not, feeling like he’s done something wrong. You can’t be there one minute and not the next, because I know how it feels to be standing on a doorstep waiting for a dad that never turns up!’
Transfixed into stillness by that revealing statement, Alekos stood watching her, waiting for Kelly to spill her guts as she always did and elaborate on the true reason behind her explosive reaction to his clumsy behaviour.
But tonight she just turned away from him and stared over the lagoon.
‘I want to go h-home,’ she sobbed. ‘I want to go home to Little Molting. We’ll sort the details out later.’
‘You stood on a doorstep waiting? Is that what happened to you?’ His voice was soft as he prompted her. ‘Did your dad leave you waiting for him?’
She kept her back to him, her shoulders stiff. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
Alekos hung onto his own temper with difficulty. ‘Theé mou, you talk about everything else! There is not a single thing going on in your head that doesn’t come out of your mouth, but this—’ he gestured with a slice of his hand ‘—this really important thing, you don’t mention to me. Why not?’
It was a moment before she answered. ‘Because talking about it doesn’t help,’ she muttered. ‘It doesn’t make me feel nice.’
‘Kelly.’ Struggling to get it right, Alekos drew his hand over the back of his neck. ‘Right this minute I’m not feeling nice, and I don’t think you are either, so it would be great if you could just not pick this particular moment to clam up. Tell me about your father. I want to know. It’s important.’
She rubbed her hand across her cheek and sniffed. ‘My mum spent half her life trying to turn him into what she wanted him to be.’
‘And what was that?’
‘A husband. A father.’ Her voice thick with tears, she kept wiping her eyes with her hand. ‘But he didn’t want children. Mum thought he’d come round to the idea, but he never did; that wasn’t what happened. Occasionally his conscience would prick him and he’d phone to say he was coming to see me.’ Her voice split. ‘And I’d boast to all my friends that my dad was going to take me out. I’d pack my bag and wait by the door. And then he wouldn’t turn up. That makes you feel pretty lousy, I can tell you. As childhoods went, it was no fairy tale.’
And she’d always wanted the fairy tale.
Thinking about his contribution to slashing those dreams, Alekos pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose and tried to think clearly. ‘Why didn’t you tell me any of this before now?’
‘Because it has nothing to do with us.’
‘It has everything to do with us,’ he said thickly. ‘It explains a great deal about why you find it so hard to trust me. It explains why you keep giving me nervous looks. Why you keep waiting for me to fail.’
‘The reason I keep giving you nervous looks is because I know this isn’t what you wanted. And I know that this sort of situation doesn’t have a happy ending. We could keep it going for a while—maybe we’d split up and then get back together, who knows—but that isn’t what I want, Alekos. I don’t believe in the fairy tale any more,’ she said in a faltering voice. ‘But I do believe I deserve better than that. And so does my baby.’ Without looking at him, she walked into the bedroom and closed the door.
Staring at that door, Alekos knew the gesture was symbolic.
She’d shut him out of her life.
Kelly dialled Vivien’s number for the fourteenth time, left a fourteenth message and then ended the call.
She desperately needed to talk to someone, but her friend just wasn’t answering the phone.
Scrabbling for a tissue, Kelly blew her nose. She had to stop crying. This was ridiculous; how much water could one person safely lose in twenty-four hours?
She’d been in no state to travel anywhere on her own so she’d agreed to travel back to Corfu and then back to London from there. And she’d cried for the whole duration of the flight. If the baby hadn’t already scared Alekos off, then her tears would have done the trick, Kelly thought numbly, remembering Alekos’s taut silence as he’d handed her tissue after tissue.
When he wasn’t mopping up her tears, he’d worked, occasionally lifting his eyes from his emails to check on her.
Check that she wasn’t about to go into meltdown.
But he hadn’t attempted to resume the conversation they’d had the night before. He obviously thought she’d totally lost it, Kelly thought gloomily, remembering the look in his eyes as he’d watched her.
When she’d reminded him in a stiff voice that she wanted to return to England on the first available flight, he’d agreed to make arrangements, but the moment they’d arrived back at the villa he’d disappeared, presumably to his office to bury himself in work.
And now she was back in the master-bedroom suite, trying not to look at the enormous bed which dominated the beautiful room.
Switching off her brain, Kelly took a shower, dried her hair and then walked into her dressing room. She pulled on a pair of shorts and a simple tee-shirt and then tugged out her suitcase.
For a moment she stood, just looking at her clothes.
What use were any of those in Little Molting? She couldn’t teach the children wearing pale-blue linen, could she?
And she couldn’t wear any of the beautiful shoes unless Alekos was next to her, holding her arm.
Trying not to think about that, she walked back to the bedroom and instantly saw the note on the bed. Walking across the room, she picked it up, assuming it was her flight details: meet me on the beach in ten minutes. Bring the ring.
Of course. The ring.
Gritting her teeth against the tears that threatened, Kelly scrunched the note up and threw it in the bin. Great; so he wanted to make sure she didn’t run off with his precious ring a second time.
She looked down at her hand, at the ring that had been with her on the bumpy journey that was her relationship with Alekos. The thought of parting with it just felt hideously sad.
Tugging it off her finger, she weighed it in her palm for a moment and bit her lip.
She had no idea why he wanted to meet her on the beach, but if that was what he wanted then that was what she’d do.
She’d deliver the ring to him in person for a final time.
Then she’d go back to her old life and try to learn to live without him.
Kelly walked slowly down the path, trying not to think about how perfect it would have been to bring up a child here, among the olive groves and the tumbling bougainvillea.
She felt as though someone had punched a hole through her insides. As though she’d lost something that she’d never find anywhere
else.
Pausing for a moment, she closed her eyes. She just had to get through the next five minutes and that was it. She could go away and she’d never have to face him again.
Determined to be as dignified as possible, she walked onto the beach and stopped.
In front of her was a semi-circle of chairs, and in front of the chairs someone with flair and imagination had created an arch of flowers, a riot of colour that clung to the invisible wire-frame and created a door facing the sea.
It looked like a movie set for a very romantic wedding.
Which didn’t make sense at all.
‘Kelly?’ Vivien’s voice came from across the sand and then her friend was running towards her, her hair flying, her long dress tangling around her slim legs.
Laughing and crying at the same time, Kelly hugged her. ‘I’ve been phoning you and phoning you—what on earth are you wearing?’ She stood back from her friend and stared down at the dress in amazement. ‘You look fantastic. Very glamorous. But—?’
‘I’m your bridesmaid,’ Vivien squeaked. ‘He said it had to be a surprise so I switched my phone off, because you know I’m utterly useless at keeping secrets, and I knew if I spoke to you I’d give it away. Are you pleased?’
Kelly was confused. ‘I—you look lovely, Vivien, but I—I don’t need a bridesmaid. I’m not getting married.’
‘What? Of course you are! Alekos flew me over here especially for your wedding. I had the whole private-jet experience.’ Vivien grinned. ‘I won’t tell you how many mojitos I drank, but my head is killing me. Can we just get on with this?’
‘You spoke your lines too early,’ Alekos drawled from behind them. ‘I was supposed to go first. She doesn’t know anything about this.’
‘What?’ Vivien gaped at him. ‘When you said it was a surprise, I assumed you meant that me being a bridesmaid was a surprise—not the whole wedding.’
‘Things don’t always go according to plan, and that is especially true of my relationship with Kelly.’ Unusually hesitant, Alekos took Kelly’s hand in his. ‘Last night, in Venice, I was going to ask you to marry me. That’s why I took you there.’
Vivien gave a whimper and pressed her hand against her chest. ‘Oh my.’
‘Vivien.’ Alekos was still looking at Kelly. ‘If you open your mouth again before I give you permission, you will never travel on my private jet again.’
‘Mmm.’ Vivien made the sound through sealed lips, but Kelly was staring at Alekos.
‘Y-you were going to ask me to marry you?’ She shook her head. ‘No! You were tense and edgy about the whole dress thing, and then when Constantine asked if you were a father you said no—you can’t talk your way out of this one, Alekos.’
‘I was tense and edgy because I was going to ask you to marry me and I was afraid you would turn me down,’ he said huskily. ‘After the last time, why would you trust me? I was gearing up to it for days. I took you to what I thought was one of the most romantic places on earth.’
‘But—’
‘All evening I was planning how to ask you, where would be best.’
‘But Constantine?’
‘Asked me if I was a father. I said no, because to me being a father is so much more than just creating a child. That’s what your dad did, but he wasn’t a father, was he?’ His voice hoarse, he stroked his hands over her cheeks and cupped her face. ‘Being a father is about loving your child more than you love yourself, putting their welfare before your own, protecting them from a very hard world and making sure that they know that, whatever happens, you’re there for them. And I can tell you that I’ll do all those things, but it would mean more if I showed you. And that’s going to take time.’
Kelly couldn’t breathe. ‘Time?’
‘Let’s start with fifty years or so.’ His eyes scanned her face. ‘We’ll have to have quite a few children so that I get plenty of practice—at least four. And you can tell me how I’m doing. Maybe after fifty years and four children if someone asks if I’m a father I’ll feel able to say yes.’
Kelly swallowed. ‘I thought the whole idea scared you.’
‘I didn’t say I wasn’t scared. I am. But I’m still standing here,’ Alekos said softly. ‘And I’m still holding your hand. And talking of hands…’ He slid the ring off Kelly’s hand and transferred it to the other hand.
Kelly felt her eyes mist. ‘Alekos…’
‘I love you, agape mou. I love you because you are generous, kind, funny and the sexiest woman I know. I love the fact you have to hold my arm because you can’t walk in high heels; I love the fact you hate bits in your lemonade; I even love the fact that you drop your belongings everywhere.’ He smoothed her hair away from her face. ‘And I love the fact you would walk away from this relationship if it meant protecting our baby. But you don’t have to do that, Kelly. We’ll protect him—or her—together.’
Terrified to believe what was happening, Kelly stared down at the ring on her finger. ‘You love me?’
‘There is no question about that,’ he said shakily. ‘The only question is whether you can believe me, because if you’re always going to doubt me then this will never work. I’d like to think I’ll never say the wrong thing to you, but I’m a man, so there’s a fairly strong chance that at some point I’m going to get it wrong—like last night in Venice.’ He spread his hands in a gesture of mute apology. ‘I can see why you interpreted what I said that way, but—’
‘You hadn’t said you loved me,’ Kelly muttered. ‘You hadn’t told me that. I was dying for you to tell me to move the ring back to my other hand, but you never did.’
A muscle flickered in his jaw. ‘Kelly, four years ago I left you on your wedding day. That is a hard thing to forgive—we needed time, you know we did. I was afraid that if I asked you too soon you’d just refuse. I was terrified that you’d refuse. I was waiting.’
Kelly thought about the way their relationship had deepened over the past couple of months. ‘I kept wanting you to ask. When you didn’t, I assumed it was because you didn’t love me.’
‘I wanted you to be secure in the knowledge that I love you.’
‘Alekos…’
‘You have to know that, just because the wrong thing may have come out of my mouth, doesn’t mean the right thing isn’t in my heart.’ Alekos lowered his head and kissed her, and for a long moment no one spoke.
Then Vivien cleared her throat. ‘All right. Enough of this. It was pretty obvious to me that he loved you, Kel,’ she said bluntly. ‘I mean, you don’t have any money of your own, you’re rubbish at organisation, and although you can look pretty when you make an effort you’re no one’s idea of a trophy wife because you haven’t got that haughty look, and you fall over in high heels, so basically you don’t have much going for you.’
‘Thanks.’
‘Which means it has to be love,’ Vivien said airily. ‘So can we get on with this before the bridesmaid gets sunburn?’
Half-laughing, half-crying, Kelly looked at Alekos. ‘You want to get married right here? Now? I can’t believe that you’ve arranged this on the beach—the flowers, the chairs.’
‘I wanted to give you the fairy tale,’ he said huskily. ‘And, yes, we’re doing it right now. I’m not going to change my mind, Kelly. I know what I want. And I think I know what you want. Neither of us need a crowd. If you say yes, then I have two people waiting in the villa—my head of legal, Dmitri, who also happens to be a close friend, and a man who is going to marry us.’
Caught in a whirlwind of happiness, Kelly gave a faltering smile. ‘I can’t get married wearing shorts.’
‘Told you!’ Vivien said triumphantly and she gestured to a pile of bags folded over a chair. ‘Luckily for you, he’s bought you a dress.’
Wondering if it was by Marianna, Kelly tensed, and Alekos gave a humourless laugh, reading her mind.
‘No,’ he said quietly. ‘It isn’t. In the name of honesty, I have to admit that I did order one, but that was before I kn
ew it would upset you.’ He breathed. ‘I had ten different ones delivered to the villa this morning. You can choose something different.’
‘Ten?’ She stared at the pile on the chair. ‘Ten.’
‘I wanted you to have the choice.’ A flicker of a smile touched his mouth. ‘And I think you’re supposed to surprise me.’
Touched by the thought behind the gesture, Kelly lifted her hand to his cheek. ‘I love you. Thank you.’ Tears spilled out of her eyes and Vivien gave a squeak of horror.
‘Don’t cry! You look hideous when you cry, and I’m supposed to do your make-up. There’s not a lot I can do with super-red eyes. Go for a walk for half an hour, Alekos, so that I can get her into this dress. You’re not supposed to see the bride—it’s bad luck.’
‘I could go to the villa,’ Kelly protested, but Alekos shook his head.
‘I’m not taking any chances,’ he said huskily, lowering his mouth to hers again. ‘I love you and I’m marrying you right now. I’d marry you in shorts.’
‘Alekos Zagorakis, she is not wearing shorts! She has to drool over these wedding photos for the rest of her life, and no one can drool over a pair of shorts.’ Outraged, Vivien gave him a push. ‘All right, compromise—go and fetch your best man or whoever he is and come back in ten minutes.’
Ten minutes later, Kelly was standing under the arch of flowers, wearing the most beautiful dress she’d ever seen, gazing up at the only man she’d ever loved.
Vivien was making eyes at Dmitri.
‘I have a feeling that neither your bridesmaid nor my best man are concentrating,’ Alekos drawled, pulling Kelly against him, ignoring the disapproval of the man who was marrying them. ‘We might have to do this without help.’
Kelly clutched the bunch of flowers that Vivien had pressed into her hands and smiled up at Alekos. ‘I can’t believe we’re doing this at all. I didn’t think it was going to end this way.’
‘Does it feel like the fairy tale? Perhaps I should have laid on a couple of white horses and a carriage.’
