“Liesel?” he whispered.
Liesel didn’t turn around, so he said her name again, but still she wouldn’t face him. Emil paddled to the far side of the canal and Liesel slipped out of the boat, into the willows. He called her name one last time, but she was gone, hidden in the tall grass and leaves on the other side of the water.
Should he go after her? His swimming outfit was back in the boat, but he could jump in the Mill Race with his trousers and work shirt to ask her what she was doing here. And why she had betrayed him.
Emil eyed him, and Jacob wanted to knock the smirk off his face. He stuck his hands in his pockets instead. “Michael needs you to stay back from the dredge boat.”
“Of course.” Emil tipped his hat as he ducked under the trees. Seconds later the man pulled his canoe up onto the bank and was gone.
Jacob stepped back onto the pathway in a daze.
He could catch up with Liesel and demand answers, but what good would that do? He had no right to her, and she had no obligation to answer his questions. She’d told him clearly that she was engaged to Emil, and nothing had changed in the past month. For her, at least. She had a right to be here, spending an afternoon with the man she planned to marry.
But if she was here, visiting her Emil for the evening, who was taking care of his daughter?
Eyeing the forest in the distance, he wanted to take off running toward Homestead. But if he left his post Michael would relieve him of his job, and he couldn’t sacrifice the work because he was angry at Liesel.
Surely she had left Cassie in good care. She wouldn’t have gone off with Emil unless she was certain Cassie was being cared for.
He pounded the tree trunk beside him. It was so hard, being here, so far from his daughter. He was glad for the job. Glad to be in the Amanas. And he trusted Liesel to take good care of Cassie.
But still…
Liesel hadn’t betrayed him. He’d been a fool, betraying his own heart instead. Liesel loved Cassie, of that he was certain. She wouldn’t leave her unattended. The only reason he was angry was because Liesel was with Emil Hahn.
Despite what the men on the boat had told him, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He needed this job, yet he also couldn’t stop from wondering what might have been if he’d met Liesel in Chicago. Or if he’d come to the Amanas before she was engaged to marry.
His stomach churned. He couldn’t imagine Liesel being married…at least not to Emil Hahn.
Therefore, fear not when pain and tribulation loom before you, when the wild ocean waves threaten to turn and engulf your little ship.
Christian Metz, 1825
Chapter Twenty-Two
Liesel chewed the tip of her pen as she stared at the words on the writing paper. Ink dripped from the nib, spreading a muddy puddle across the lines. She’d started this letter to Emil days ago, but the right words still escaped her.
At last he’d written her a letter to inquire about her health, even apologized for not coming sooner to visit. His work in the bakery kept him from an overnight visit, and he hadn’t been able to secure permission as of yet to borrow the buggy for an afternoon.
When she’d read his words last week, she couldn’t help but wonder if he’d even asked for permission to use a buggy. She knew for a fact that he didn’t deliver bread to the kitchen houses on Sunday mornings, so he could easily walk the three miles over for a visit after church if he’d wanted to see her. It was clear that he didn’t want to come, and it was even more clear to her that she didn’t want to see him. His inattentiveness had wounded her pride, but her heart was intact.
She glanced down again, deciphering his scribble once more under the kerosene lantern. She’d read it over and over, wondering if she’d missed something. Perhaps somewhere in his letter he longed to see her again.
Amalie’s words from the garden echoed in her mind. There was no reason why the Elders wouldn’t let him come visit, especially since they hadn’t seen each other in almost three months. Even more so because her father was one of Main Amana’s Elders and he wanted her to marry Emil.
Nothing in Emil’s letter even hinted at missing her.
She glanced over at the bed. Cassie was still sleeping this morning, but Liesel’s thoughts had awakened her an hour before breakfast and wouldn’t let her rest.
She balled up the spotted paper and placed a fresh piece on her writing desk, but her thoughts returned to her visit with Jacob and the heat that had rushed through her skin when he’d enveloped her hand in his.
There was no hope for a marriage with Emil, nor was there any hope for her and Jacob. He would finish his job in two months and go back into the world where he belonged. No matter how much she wanted him to make his home in the Amanas, Jacob would never stay.
She blinked, thinking again about his hand in hers. He’d held it twice now. On the bank by the Mill Race and back in the doctor’s office on his first day here. He probably wouldn’t remember that first time, but he’d grasped her hand while he was in pain. And she had borne his pain. Gladly.
She could never go into a marriage with another man when she would spend her life thinking about Jacob, wondering what it would be like to marry a man who loved her….
Not that Jacob loved her—or even felt a hint of the longings that stirred in her heart—but it wasn’t fair to Emil. She would rather remain single for the rest of her life than live each day with a man who didn’t love her. And a man she didn’t love.
She held out her pen, ready to being writing again, but no words came to her mind. She sighed. This was a conversation she should have with Emil in person, not on paper. If only she knew when she’d see him again.
The bell outside tolled, and Cassie stirred. Liesel pushed aside the letter and bent down to kiss the girl’s head.
“Good morning, sleepyhead.”
Cassie slurred her good morning.
Liesel helped the girl dress in a new calico dress, and as she tied Cassie’s shoelaces, the girl ran her fingers across Liesel’s hairnet. Then she patted her own auburn braids. “Can I have a net?”
Liesel smiled. “Maybe one day.”
Cassie reached for a handkerchief and strung it over her hair. “i want one just like yours.”
What would it be like to teach Cassie how to make a net? Perhaps teach her how to quilt and tat? It would be a privilege to watch this girl grow into a woman who loved their Lord.
Taking Cassie’s hand, the two of them trotted down the stairs for breakfast, and when they’d finished eating, they walked out into the muggy air. Hilga Keller tapped her shoulder, and Liesel turned, greeting the woman with a nod. Instead of greeting her, Hilga held up a newspaper in response.
Liesel looked back and forth between Conrad’s mother and the newspaper. “What is it?”
“Take Cassie on to the school.” The older woman placed her hand on Liesel’s shoulder. “And then we need to talk.”
The hours ticked by, but no matter how hard he tried, Jacob couldn’t sleep. Even though his body was exhausted from the hard labor, his mind raced with pictures he wished he could erase. Emil and Liesel in the boat. Liesel leaning in to kiss her betrothed. He called out to her, but she hadn’t given him the courtesy of greeting him back. Instead she’d ducked, hiding her face from him.
He didn’t have any hold over Liesel. No promise or even a hint of promise. He never should have expected her to be interested in anything other than a friendship with him. He was clearly an outsider…and a foolish one to think that Liesel might care even a bit for him. She’d done her duty, nursed both him and Cassie back to health, and she’d made it clear she’d done this to honor God. She was faithful to God first; he was only a product of her faithfulness.
He rolled over, but sleep evaded him. He was still tossing on his bunk when an Amana boy delivered hot coffee and biscuits for breakfast. At the small table, Michael pushed a tin of coffee toward him. “You look terrible.”
Jacob blew the steam off the hot drink. “I cou
ldn’t sleep.”
Michael reached for another tin and poured a cup for himself.
“I need to go to Homestead,” Jacob said.
“You can go in two days. On Sunday.”
He shook his head. “I was supposed to go last Sunday.”
Michael set the coffeepot on the table. “I need you here.”
Jacob knew he was risking his position on the dredge boat, but without a wife, his responsibility was to care for Cassie as well as provide for her. How was he supposed to do both…and do them well? The Homestead Elders had promised him that he would be able to see Cassie at least once a week if he took this job…and he needed to see her.
He leaned forward. “I must take care of my daughter as well.”
Michael glanced around, seeming to size up the other men in the cramped room. “You won’t receive your pay for today.”
He rubbed his hands together. “I understand.”
Michael took a long sip from his cup. “And I’ll expect you to be back at work in the morning.”
He reached for his hat and placed it on his head. “I’ll return by nightfall.”
Shovels and pails were piled in a crate beside the Kinderschule, and Cassie kissed Liesel on the cheek before she pulled out a shovel to dig in the sand. The girl no longer fought when it was time for school, nor did she cry during the day. She adored the teachers at the school, and she was even speaking some German now. And she’d knitted her first pair of stockings.
Jacob would be proud at how Cassie had not only adapted to life in Homestead but how she’d thrived. If only she could take Cassie over to visit so Jacob could see how well his daughter was. None of the older women in town had been available to escort Cassie to the dredge boat.
Liesel glanced one last time at Cassie playing in the sand before she turned to find Hilga Keller. A gaggle of geese honked overheard, shadowing the sun for a moment as she waited on a bench for Hilga. She tugged at the fabric already sticking to her arms and chest. Her bonnet kept the sun from burning her scalp, but the sunrays were hot on her skin, almost unbearably so.
Hilga rushed around the corner, the newspaper flapping at her side, and her eyes showed worry mixed with something else. Anger, perhaps.
The woman fixed her bonnet as she sat on the bench. Liesel glanced down at the newspaper in Hilga’s lap. Chicago Daily News was plastered across the top of the paper. What could possibly concern her in Chicago?
Hilga shifted the paper between her hands. “The Elders asked me to speak with you.”
Liesel gulped. Something must be terribly wrong. “All right.”
Hilga opened the front page and pointed to an article halfway down the page. A story about a reward for an embezzler.
She glanced up at Hilga. “What is an embezzler?”
“It’s someone who steals money.”
She looked back at the paper, wondering why the Elders had sent Hilga to show her this article. She knew very little about money, certainly not how to steal it.
Then, in the first paragraph, she saw his name. Jacob Hirsch.
The trees around the bench swirled, and she couldn’t breathe. Why was Jacob in the newspaper? He couldn’t have stolen any money.
She forced herself to focus on the article again, trying to make sense of it, but she didn’t understand. According to the writer, Jacob had taken at least twenty thousand dollars from a Chicago company, and the company was offering three hundred dollars for information about his location so they could recover the missing money.
She fell back against the wooden slats of the bench and closed her eyes. Was Jacob Hirsch a thief? That didn’t seem right at all. He was too moral of a man to steal money. Too kind.
Or at least she’d thought he was.
Hilga placed her hand on her arm, forcing her out of her thoughts. “The Elders will confront him.”
Her mouth felt dry, her mind clouded as she replied. “Of course.”
“They will have to report him to the newspaper.”
Liesel tried to nod, but she couldn’t move.
“They won’t accept the reward, but it is the right thing to do.”
The clouds in her mind broke. “What about Cassie?”
Hilga shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“She could stay here, with me.”
Hilga’s eyes were sad. “Cassie belongs with her father.”
“But what if—what if he goes to jail?”
“He will find her a place to live.”
Liesel stood, glancing at the trees in the distance. She wanted to run and run and never return. This story had no good ending for her, Cassie, or Jacob.
“I have to go to work.”
Hilga nodded and picked up the newspaper.
After their days and nights caring for Cassie, she thought she knew Jacob Hirsch, but how much did she really know? Maybe he’d screened what was truly inside his heart. Perhaps he was a fraud.
She felt as if she were in a trance, wandering back to the rows of garden beds.
Had Jacob deceived her? Used her and her community to care for his daughter? Perhaps he was planning to take this stolen money and run from here.
But why would he take a position on the dredge boat, one of the hardest jobs in the Colonies?
So many transients used their community for food or lodging or even to escape their problems in the world. Was Jacob hiding out in the Amanas? Maybe he thought law enforcement wouldn’t find him here, secluded from the outside.
The government may not find him, but God was everywhere. The verse in Numbers rushed through her mind—“Be sure your sin will find you out.”
No one could hide from the presence of God. Not even in the Amanas.
The writer of the article may claim that Jacob was a thief, but even so, she couldn’t reconcile the words in her mind. He was a good father. A good friend. And he’d never stolen anything from her.
She stopped before the bed of carrots, frozen. He’d never stolen anything from her…except perhaps her heart.
The pure and peace-loving souls arise from their unworthiness and escape the wilderness of their own hearts.
Barbara Heinemann, 1820
Chapter Twenty-Three
All morning Frank worried that someone would ask him about Jacob Hirsch, but no one seemed to guess that Second National was the scene of the embezzlement crime. Marshall Vicker had fielded a couple dozen calls in the past three days, all of them crank calls. Not one person had given them viable information to begin tracking down Jacob.
Standing behind the teller’s cage, Frank recorded the deposits of two customers, and when his customers left, Frank eyed the lobby doors again. Orwin was usually at the bank before nine, often unlocking the door before Frank arrived, but it was almost eleven and his nephew had yet to arrive. He hadn’t bothered to call to tell Frank when he would come to work, either. Frank had already phoned Orwin’s house twice, but no one had answered.
He’d hired Orwin on the request of Alice, his only sister. Alice lived in Pittsburgh, but when he agreed to take Orwin on as his apprentice, Orwin and his family had relocated to Chicago. Over the past year he’d questioned Orwin’s competency, but he never questioned his devotion to the work. As the hours ticked by this morning, though, he was beginning to doubt his nephew’s devotion.
The telephone bell rang in his office, and he rushed into the other room to take the call. When he heard Orwin’s wife crying, he collapsed into his desk chair. “What is it?”
“Orwin…,” she started.
“Where is he?”
“He’s caught it.”
He leaned back in his chair, trying to understand. “Caught what?” he pressed.
“Diphtheria.”
The breath drained out of him.
“The doctor came last night,” she said. “We are all under quarantine.”
“What about your children?”
“They are all right so far, but I’m keeping them away from him.”
Frank’s gaze wandered back to the window. Orwin had been sick for the past week, coughing and complaining of a sore throat, but never once had he thought it was anything serious. Diphtheria was reserved for the people in the street tents, not respectable bank clerks.
“What can I do for you?” he asked.
“There’s nothing….”
“He’s not going anywhere, Lydia,” he said, though his assurance sounded hollow. Diphtheria was unpredictable. None of them could control it, and Frank hated anything he couldn’t control.
As he hung up the phone, he realized he, too, had been exposed to the disease, but he couldn’t close the bank, especially not now.
Jacob wanted to be angry at Liesel—she shouldn’t have left Cassie in Homestead for a rendezvous with Emil Hahn. Even so, he couldn’t help his smile when he saw her across the brightly colored garden beds, plucking tomatoes from a vine. A dozen eyes followed him as he crossed through the vegetable rows, but Liesel didn’t see him until he was a few yards away. When she turned, her face broke into a grin.
Her smile faded quickly though, and his smile fell as well as he reminded himself that she belonged to another man. And the only reason he was here was to check on his daughter.
He glanced around; the entire crew was watching him. “Where is Cassie?”
“In the Kinderschule,” she replied, pointing her trowel toward a fence behind him. “Why are you here?”
“To see my daughter.”
Liesel nodded, but she looked wary. Guilty, perhaps.
“Come, then.” She motioned him toward the small school building, and he followed her through the garden. She reached to open the school door, and he caught her arm.
“Wait,” he whispered.
Her face was partially hidden under her bonnet, but he could see her eyes, and they looked scared.
Love Finds You in Homestead, Iowa Page 16
