by Louise Bay
“This happens all the time. I’d forgotten it had even happened until I saw the photograph.”
“So what about this then?” he asked, tapping his finger on the middle image of the redhead. “That was the night after we stayed at the hotel. You can’t tell me that’s a coincidence.”
“What’s a coincidence?” I asked. I didn’t understand why he was being so cold and sharp with me.
“That was the night we first slept together. Had he been waiting for you to report back to him or—”
I held up my hand to stop him. He made me sound as if I’d slept with him for information or something. He wasn’t about to tell me what happened. I’d been there, and I’d told him about it. “He was on a bench. I was walking back to the tender in the morning and he was there. I told you all about it later that day after Skylar caught us. I was a little freaked out. He offered me money—five thousand dollars—to tell him what you were working on.” I winced as I remembered how he’d told me I’d confirmed that Hayden was on the boat.
“You made it sound like it was no big deal,” he said.
“Me? I couldn’t get you to focus on it. You said that you being on the Athena wasn’t a secret and then you kept asking about Skylar. Do you not remember this?”
“You never mentioned it again. And you conveniently forgot that he’d approached you before. Very convincing.”
I sighed. Jesus, why was he so ready to assume the worst of me? I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation with Hayden. Hadn’t he told me he’d never felt the way he did about me before? Didn’t that count for anything? Didn’t he trust me? “I even told you he convinced me that I’d given him some information that I shouldn’t have because he kept peppering me with questions and I was trying to dodge them. I told you he said I’d confirmed that you were on the yacht.”
“So you admit you told him? What other information did you give him?”
“No.” Had I? “I don’t think so, but it all happened so fast and my head was everywhere. If you remember, we hadn’t had much sleep the night before and the guy caught me off guard. Maybe I didn’t refute it or maybe by refuting it I confirmed it for him. I don’t know.”
Hayden shook his head. He clearly didn’t believe a word that came out of my mouth. “So this guy approached you a third time, even though he knew by then that it was futile? What happened the third time you met him?”
My heart sank and guilt crawled across my skin. I tipped my head back and stared at the ceiling. “That’s when he offered me a hundred and fifty grand to feed him information about the deal you were working on.”
“Wow,” Hayden said. “A hundred and fifty grand. Five thousand just wasn’t enough. I guess we know your price now.”
Anger pushed through my guilt and erupted. Why did he just assume I’d taken it? I hadn’t done anything. I’d been tempted for a second. I’d thought about it. That money would have meant as much physical therapy as my brother needed and it might have meant a different life for me. At the very least it would have meant breathing space, room to pause.
I pushed out of my chair and leaned over the desk. He was being so harsh and unfair. This wasn’t the man I’d given my body to. He wasn’t the man I thought he was. “You’re an asshole,” I replied. “I didn’t take his money. You’re still working on your deal, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, despite you.” His words were nasty but his tone was flippant, as if I were an irritation.
“Surely if I’d told him, then someone else would have bought the precious company, that guy who hated your dad.”
He folded his arms. “I have no idea how your mind works or what your plans are. I hope it was worth it. You sold your character, your soul, for that money.”
“You think if I had a hundred and fifty thousand dollars I’d stick around here to get caught? I’d have taken the next flight out.”
“There’s no point in denying it, Avery. I found the phone and the guy’s business card under your bed. The same phone you’re being given here.” He tapped the photo with his finger.
“What the hell?” How had he gotten that phone? I’d stashed the phone and the business card, unsure of what to do with them. “You’ve been in my room?”
“You should try harder to hide stuff if you don’t want people finding them.”
“You’ve been through my things? Who are you?” Jesus, how long had Hayden had suspicions about me? Had he fucked me despite them or because of them? I shivered, uncomfortable in my skin. I needed to get out of there.
“Fuck you. I didn’t take the money. If I had, my life would be a lot better right now. My brother’s life would be a lot better. I’m not that girl. I wouldn’t have done it to anyone, but especially not to you. Not the way I feel—felt—about you.” I straightened and took him in. Still so handsome, but this wasn’t the man I’d shared so much with. That man would know I couldn’t ever take money for selling someone out. “You think you’re isolated on this yacht in the middle of the sea? It’s your suspicions, your mistrustful heart, that isolate you. I’d rather lose every dollar I have than live like that—trusting no one, loving no one, having no one love me. You might end up with an empire and more money than God, but take a look around and you’ll see all the backs of the people who loved you who you turned away.”
Had all these weeks been a lie? Was he pretending to be someone he wasn’t? I shook my head. “I didn’t take that money. I know that, and the man I kissed under the fireworks all those weeks ago knows it too. I don’t recognize the man standing in front of me. And I don’t want to know you.” He’d believe what he wanted. Resignation took hold. I wasn’t going to win this battle. I’d known as soon as I got back to the yacht that I could never betray Hayden like that. I’d paid a high price for my character because either way I was guilty, either of betraying Hayden or my brother. Even now, with Hayden accusing me of taking the money, I didn’t regret my decision, but I did regret having put so much on the line for him. I’d been a fool. I pulled open the door and left, and Hayden didn’t try to stop me. As I slammed the door behind me, I let out a breath, trying to stop myself from screaming out loud at the injustice of it all. For a second I thought I’d found someone, the one. For a moment I’d imagined a life full of fun and love and happiness rather than duty and burden and sacrifice. My heartbeat scattered in my chest and all of a sudden disappeared as if my heart had simply given up the fight.
Thirty-One
Avery
“All crew. All crew, this is the captain. Meeting in the galley immediately.” The anticipated announcement echoed out from my waistband as August and I folded towels in the laundry room. It was Captain Moss’s call to the post-charter meeting where the captain brought up any concerns he had about our performance as a team and then distributed the tips.
Hayden had left the charter yesterday, the day after our argument in his office over the photos. I hadn’t seen him again. I couldn’t bring myself to leave my room while he was still on board. I didn’t want to be reminded of the anger in his voice or the mistrust in his glance. Skylar had found me crying and told me to stay in bed. She didn’t ask any questions and I hadn’t argued with her. Even I wasn’t able to paint a professional smile over my broken heart. I needed to piece myself back together and now Hayden was gone, it might be possible.
“I really hope this tip is decent. Ten percent at least. I know we didn’t have a whole lot to do, but eight weeks is a long time to have a shitty tip.” August’s words came in and out of focus for me. I was exhausted. Emotionally, physically—every kind of tired.
We made our way through the narrow corridor to the galley, and I slid into the banquette, the last to sit for the all-crew meeting. Now that Hayden’s charter had finished, the energy on board had ratcheted up and everyone’s voice was a little louder, their smiles a little wider. On the other hand, I felt as if I was coming out of a fog. I knew the people around me, but still felt as if there was a wall between us, that we were in different worlds.
&nbs
p; “Beers?” Neill asked, opening the fridge. Charter was officially over if we were drinking.
“Yeah, I’ll take one,” I said. Alcohol couldn’t make me feel worse.
“Are you sure you should?” Skylar asked. “Is your stomach better?”
I hadn’t been there to see Hayden off the boat. It was the first time I’d ever not said goodbye to a departing guest, but I just couldn’t bear it. My professional mask had crumbled, and I wasn’t sure I would have been able to hold it together. I was angry that he thought I’d betrayed him, but ashamed by the fact I’d taken the phone and card, that I hadn’t told him and possibly avoided everything that had come after. My heart ached at the thought of never seeing him again, but my head told me things ending this way would probably be easier—there were no what-ifs or what-could-have-beens.
Since our first kiss, I’d tried hard not to think about what would happen when Hayden left the yacht. Although he’d told me he wanted things to continue between us after he left, I knew the logistics, as he’d put it, were difficult. He was based in London with commitments and a business to run, and my job made a long-distance relationship almost impossible. Any time I had off I spent in Sacramento. As much as I might wish it were otherwise, the likelihood of Hayden and I existing outside this yacht was almost none, even before he’d accused me of being a corporate spy.
But now none of that was even a fantasy. He thought I’d betrayed him and through his assumptions and accusations, I knew he’d betrayed me.
I’d risked my career for him. I’d put my brother’s care at risk for him. And yet he’d turned on me in an instant. He’d made up his mind about those photographs before he’d even asked me about them, and then assumed I was lying.
Captain Moss entered the kitchen and all eyes gravitated toward the ten brown envelopes he held in his hands. I should care more than I did. The tips I earned this season were all allocated to my brother’s health insurance premiums. I knew that whatever was in that envelope, it wouldn’t be enough to cover the additional expenses.
“No real issues on this trip,” Captain Moss said as he sat down. “But we’ve not been tested. This was a very easy charter for everyone apart from Avery. You feeling better?” he asked me.
I nodded. “Yeah. It must have been something I ate,” I said, flashing my best fake grin at Neill. “I threw up, but feel fine now.”
“Cheeky,” Neill said.
“You worked hard,” Captain Moss said, lifting his chin in my direction.
Guilt unfurled in my stomach. If he only knew what had been going on between Hayden and me. I’d betrayed too many people for someone who wasn’t worth it.
“You’re a good girl, Avery.” From anyone else, a statement like that might have been condescending, but at that moment it was exactly what I needed to hear. I wanted to be a good person. I needed to be a good girl, because if I wasn’t, why hadn’t I just taken the money and helped my family?
“You should have plenty of energy for our next guests who arrive next week.” He dealt out the envelopes to each of the nine crew members. “We want to keep the bar high. We got a fifteen percent tip. Anything less for this next one will be a disappointment.”
The crew gasped as they peered into their bulging envelopes. It was at the top end of what tips normally were, and because charters were usually shorter, none of us were used to having so much money handed to us at once.
“No room for complacency,” Moss continued. “Go have fun tonight, but tomorrow I want every one of you up on deck at ten sharp. We’ve got to get this boat looking like it’s brand new. No excuses.” Captain Moss stood and headed back to the wheelhouse, leaving the rest of the crew to make plans for the evening. Why plans were necessary, I wasn’t sure. We always did the same thing—drink as much as possible, dance and find someone to make out with.
But making out with anyone wasn’t in the cards for me, and a new charter was the last thing I needed. The idea of seeing other people where Hayden and I had shared so much seemed wrong. Even though things had ended badly, I didn’t want to erase it. I just wanted the pain of not having him to drift away. I wasn’t sure that would ever happen, but I knew new guests wouldn’t help. Neither would vodka.
“Wanna come and help me pick out an outfit for tonight?” Skylar asked.
I shrugged and followed her out of the kitchen. “That pink dress you showed me the other day would be nice,” I said, trying to act as if my world hadn’t turned upside down and inside out.
I followed her into her small cabin that she shared with August and she shut the door behind us. “Are you okay?” she asked. “You don’t look okay.”
“I’m fine,” I said, taking a seat on August’s bed, dipping my head so I didn’t knock my head on Skylar’s bunk.
“So, what happened with you and Hayden? Are you going to see each other again?”
I hadn’t expected her question. We’d not discussed me and Hayden since our conversation in the laundry room. “No, of course not.”
“Of course not?” She squinted at me as she hitched up her leg and sat on August’s bed. “You must have been in love with him. Why wouldn’t you want to see him again?”
Her statement hit me like a punch to the gut. “In love with him?” I clutched at my stomach, trying to find my breath, disorientated and dizzy. “Why would you think I was in love with him?” It couldn’t be true, could it? I couldn’t have fallen in love with a man who thought I was capable of betraying him for money, someone who clearly didn’t know me at all.
My limp body and my aching heart suggested otherwise.
“Avery, you’re not that kind of girl. You wouldn’t have risked everything you’ve worked so hard for just to get laid by a pretty face.” She sighed, and a grin curled at the edges of her mouth. “Although he did have a mighty pretty face. And a gorgeous ass. And I swear, one time the breeze lifted his shirt and I got a look at—”
She stopped as I fixed her with a glare.
“I’m just saying that to have put all that on the line, he must have meant a great deal to you.”
I swallowed. I couldn’t love him, could I? I couldn’t love a person who’d treated me so cruelly. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. Why was everything so fucking unfair? I didn’t want to be in love with a man who’d left me so easily. But of course she was right. Of course I loved him. Or a version of him at least. I loved the way he seemed to want to peel back my layers and know my deepest, darkest thoughts, the way he was so driven and determined that sometimes he’d forget the time of day and the day of the week but still kept the perspective that his brother had a job far more worthy. I loved the man who was the best man I’d ever known. I would never have risked everything for anything less. But it didn’t matter what he’d meant to me. He’d hurt me. Despite what he thought, he was the one who’d betrayed me. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself not to cry. “He’s gone now. It doesn’t matter.”
“You should totally call him. You swapped numbers, right?”
I shook my head. “We had a huge fight. It’s done.”
“Tell me what happened.” Skylar pulled me into a hug and I let her. I needed someone to show me they cared in that moment.
I explained Hayden’s accusations to Skylar, and explained what really happened. Talking about it was like putting a period at the end of the relationship. I could no longer pretend to myself that things were different, that what he’d accused me of had just been some big mistake and that he’d be back soon, begging my forgiveness. It was done.
I’d never felt that irresistible pull that I had toward Hayden for anyone else. I couldn’t imagine I ever would again. No one would be able to pin me to the spot with just a look, rile me up to the point of almost coming with just a kiss. No man would ever make me feel as if it was an honor for me to share the weight of my responsibility with him. Even just talking to Hayden about my family had helped lift the burden slightly.
People like Hayden Wolf came around once in a lifetime
. Things might have been different if I’d never taken that phone and business card. Maybe then, we might have found a miraculous way through the distance and contradictory lives and lifestyles, but the chance for miracles was over.
Now I had to focus on what I should have always put first—my family.
Thirty-Two
Hayden
The driver opened the passenger door. I dipped my head to get in, then groaned at the sight of my brother. “I hope you’re here to tell me good news.”
“Welcome home, brother. I thought I’d meet you at Heathrow as I knew you’d be so pleased to see me.”
“I’ve had quite enough of you at the moment. Especially after a commercial flight.” I was exhausted.
“Christ, you poor bastard. You had to fly commercial from your superyacht? Did the world run out of private jets?”
I pressed my lips together, trying not to let him see the grin threatening at the corners of my mouth. “And? I presume you came with news.”
“I’ve found your leak,” he said as he pressed his thumb against the side of his tablet, his fingerprint bringing it to life.
“About time. I thought I wasn’t going to be able to go back to my office.”
“It was Gerald,” he said simply.
I recoiled. “I thought that having an offshore account wasn’t conclusive? How can you be sure?” As financial controller for Wolf Enterprises and right-hand man to my finance director, he would have a lot of access to a lot of information.
“Because I’m that good.”
“It’s taken you nearly eight weeks—you’re not that good.”
“What can I say? He covered his tracks well. We had to wait for him to make a mistake.”
“Prove it to me.” When he’d told me about Avery, I’d refused to believe it until I’d seen the evidence for myself. And even after I’d found the phone and the business card, I still went ashore to see the photographs for myself. When I’d confronted her, her explanations were a little too polished. She’d had an answer for everything. I’d wanted to hear more—when had she started with Cannon? Had she been in their pocket all along? But she’d stormed out of my office, indignant. There was only one piece of the puzzle missing with Avery. Landon hadn’t been able to track the payoff to her account.
