by Etta Foster
But how bad could it be?
Louise rubbed her hands together as she resumed her pacing. It helped her to stay calm and keep from pulling her hair out. As she walked, she tried to think.
Surely it couldn’t be life-threatening.
Though he was weak and delirious in the cart, after Jacob had carried him to his room and she had found him some water to drink back at the house, he had started to come around and speak more clearly. He had apologized to her for what had happened and asked to make sure that she was all right.
Of course he was still thinking of her while clearly in pain. The man was such a gentleman, even during hardships.
Louise only hoped that his pride didn’t keep him from receiving the care that he clearly needed.
Mrs. Pennyworth had returned shortly after they’d helped situate Richard in bed, bringing in Doctor Clapton. They had gathered all the pillows in the house to help him be comfortable, though it didn’t seem to have worked.
He had tried to thank them for the kindness, but she could see the agony in his eyes.
Those sweet green eyes.
“You act as though the two of you are already married,” Luanne sighed. “He’s just someone you know right now, Louise. Whatever happens, it doesn’t need to be so stressful.”
She stared at her sister in disbelief, wondering how the young woman could be so heartless.
It wasn’t about her romantic life. Louise wasn’t thinking about Richard as her husband, but as a good man who had suffered a traumatic injury. She didn’t know what had happened or what might come of the results of her morning out with him.
It was only supposed to be an early ride. A tour around the ranch. She had no idea how it had gone so wrong.
But he had warned her about the ice.
Though she wanted to tell her sister to be kinder, to stop worrying about her personal affairs, Louise forced herself to close her mouth.
She didn’t want to say anything she might regret. Sometimes Luanne preferred to be miserable.
Surely her sister was counting it as luck so she might be the first of the sisters to be wed. It had been the presumption long enough for the eldest to be married first before other siblings. Society expected it.
But as Luanne had grown older, she had grown more bitter. She was pretty but had given few men the time of day in the past.
Not that it should matter. Louise hadn’t cared about any of that before. She had grown up knowing she wasn’t the prettiest woman, nor the cleverest or kindest.
But she was a hard worker who did her best to treat others properly as she focused on teaching herself as much as she could. It was a short life and she wanted to make the best of what she had.
Realizing that the best way to enjoy herself would be to get out of the house, she had taken the initiative to reach out to the world to see if she might be helped.
That’s where Richard came in.
She turned to the closed door, hearing nothing. Her heart hammered against her chest and she wondered what was happening on the other side.
A lump formed in her throat as her anxiety grew.
Her trip had hardly begun and already it had been terribly upset by Richard’s accident.
Not that she blamed him. But it worried her.
Louise couldn’t resist wondering what would happen next for everyone. She was torn between her selfishness of wanting to know what she should do with herself and her concern for Richard and his injuries.
Would she be able to do anything to help him? What if she was useless?
If she couldn’t help and would only be in the way, she knew it would be best if they didn’t stay.
They should return home. The idea sounded wise, but Louise immediately hated the thought of returning there and leaving all this behind.
This was supposed to be a chance to escape the boredom and strict behavior she had grown up with. Her stomach roiled and she winced at how her father would respond.
He would tell her she had tried too hard, talked too much, acted inappropriately like she always did. The man would have a hundred excuses to tell her why she should have never left so he could pat her head and tell her to return to sweeping the entryway.
“Just take a seat, would you?” Luanne waved a flippant hand in the air. “Really, Louise, you’re only hurting yourself by doing this. Whatever it is that you’re doing.”
Louise told herself that her sister simply didn’t understand. After all, she hadn’t seen Richard that morning.
Instead, Luanne had stayed up in her room all by herself. Which meant she certainly hadn’t heard his fall off the horse. She hadn’t even come out to see the commotion until Louise requested her pillows.
“I’m not doing anything,” she told her sister quietly.
But the girl rolled her eyes. “Please, Louise. You’re always overly concerned about everything. It’s silly. Especially since you don’t really care.”
She stopped pacing with a frown, not knowing how her sister could say such a thing. Sometimes she wondered if something was wrong with Luanne.
“Of course I care, Luanne. You wouldn’t understand. You weren’t there.”
Luanne paused to give her a stern look. “If you really cared for everyone as much as you pretend to care, then you would have never come here in the first place.
“Father was upset about this - this false courtship of yours. If you really cared for others, you wouldn’t have come in the first place.”
Taking a deep breath, Louise swallowed and tried to let go of her sister’s harsh words.
“I’m sorry you don’t understand, Luanne. But don’t assume what you don’t know.”
“I’m just telling you the truth,” her sister said. “Mother and Father would want me to keep an eye out for your safety, after all.”
She didn’t feel very protected by her sister. Rubbing her hands together, she shook her head and quickened her pace. “Thank you for your concern, Luanne. But if you’re uncomfortable sitting here with me, then you’re free to go. I’m sure Mrs. Pennyworth would appreciate support in the kitchen.”
Her sister scoffed as she returned to playing with her hair. But she stopped complaining.
Minutes passed in silence between the two of them as they waited. As Louise passed closer by the shut door, she eventually heard the murmuring of the men’s voices.
Jacob had stayed with his brother to talk to the doctor. They had said it was no business for the women and Louise understood. They weren’t family, after all.
Mrs. Pennyworth was cooking food for everyone and had refused any help. She wanted to stay busy and distracted.
Louise knew how the woman felt.
But because of it, it meant that she was left out of the kitchen and pacing for much too long with nothing to do. She was about to say something about her concern to her sister when the door finally cracked open.
She whirled around, staring as the doctor stepped out first.
He carried a large bag with him, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it had grown lighter during his stay.
A lump formed in her throat as she found herself speechless.
“Good day,” he offered gruffly to the young ladies and disappeared out of the house.
She wished she could remember his name but couldn’t. Her eyes followed him out before turning back to see Jacob closing the door behind him.
The young man had dark hair and dark eyes. There was an air of melancholy about him and she wondered about the pain he was clearly dealing with. It had been there from the moment they met.
Though she wouldn’t wish to assume anything, Louise could tell he was struggling.
And now, she had a sinking feeling that it had to do with Richard. Just remembering the man’s scream from minutes ago made her flinch.
But there was no time to dwell on the past. Louise inhaled deeply as she rushed over to his side.
“Well?” she asked him worriedly. Her hands clasped together before her as though
in prayer. “How is he? Please, tell me he’s all right. What is it?”
Jacob’s eyes were inscrutable, too dark for her to read anything. She gazed into them anxiously, waiting for him to confirm her fears or her hopes. “The doctor will be back tomorrow.”
Her heart skipped a beat. “Why? Is that good?”
“He… it’s his spine.” Jacob cleared his throat and spoke slowly. “Doc says its damaged. Richard might never walk again.”
Louise clapped her hands over her mouth in alarm.
The news brought her concerns to the surface and she could hardly breathe. She could hardly comprehend the news.
It was terrible, it was strange, it was more than she was prepared to hear. Although she thought she had been ready to hear what might happen, she realized she wasn’t.
There was nothing in the world that could have prepared her to hear this news.
Jacob took a small step forward and she took it as an invitation.
She didn’t know what else to do. Luanne wouldn’t understand. And if she felt this pain in her heart, then certainly Jacob felt it worse.
Though she didn’t know whose comfort she did this for, she threw herself into his arms.
Chapter 13
Richard stared at the ceiling in his bedroom.
There wasn’t much else he could do. Though his strength was slowly coming back, it took all his energy just to sit up.
But that still caused his back to ache, which left him little else to do but lie in his bed and stare at the ceiling.
It was only another wall, so there was nothing but the planks of wood. He had counted them over and over again since he had woken up.
Though he had attempted to go back to sleep, Richard was too bored to give in again.
The darkness had left him behind. He had tossed and turned all night after losing hope it would return. But he was left on his own and it appeared to have gone, never to come back.
He found himself missing it for the relief it provided. Even though part of him knew it was wrong to want to be lost.
If he wasn’t lost to the darkness, that meant he had to face reality.
And his reality, the new reality, was not very kind.
Doctor Clapton had poked him about, prodding to learn what had happened. After nudging him on the back, Richard had nearly passed out at the sudden pain.
Yet it brought about the explanation that they were looking for. The answer to what was going on and why he could hardly move.
At least, he couldn’t move the lower half of his body.
Doctor Clapton had hesitated as he took a step back. Fixing the glasses on the bridge of his nose, he’d glanced at Jacob and then at Richard.
He had not liked the look that the man gave him. It was too serious with a furrowed brow that could not present good news.
His accident was only supposed to be an accident. He wanted to be back on his feet by Christmas, not wanting to leave all the hard work to his brother or to be a hindrance to Mrs. Pennyworth and their gentle guests.
Even if it took a month, he braced himself, he would force himself to accept that. He didn’t like the idea of being stuck in bed, but if that’s what it took, he would understand. Richard was certain it couldn’t be any more of a problem than that.
Except what the doctor had told him was much more surprising.
“I’d have to complete exploratory surgery or travel to a city where there are other doctors and possibly new medical advances that could help you better than a country doctor like myself could. But I can tell you this much. Your fall forced your spine out of alignment and chipped away at your vertebrae.
“It’s pressed against your spinal cord and I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do about it.
“Even exploratory surgery would be dangerous, and you could be completely paralyzed.”
Richard had rarely heard that word before. It was a strange and uncomfortable term. Not one that people talked about or wanted to even think about in any given situation.
His heart skipped a beat as he stared at the doctor.
Everything that the old man had just told him was difficult to comprehend and harder to accept. His eyes skittered over to his brother, but Jacob stood in the corner with his arms crossed and a blank expression across his face.
Then he forced himself to consider what might very well be the truth. His new truth.
“Paralyzed?” Richard repeated the word carefully, wondering if he had heard right.
The doctor scratched his white beard before he nodded. “I’m afraid so. You said it yourself that you couldn’t move your legs.”
He frowned, not sure he understood. “I don’t think I… I mean, that’s only because the fall stunned me. But I’ll walk again. It’s not that I… I mean, I will walk, won’t I?”
Shifting in the bed, he couldn’t imagine not walking again. Or running. Could a paralyzed person even ride a horse? He couldn’t think of knowing anyone who had been paralyzed. So he shook his head to the very idea.
But when Richard raised his eyes to look at the doctor again, his breath stopped. He felt his brow furrow and a droplet of sweat trickled down his spine. He tightened his hands into fists to stop the shudder.
“Unless there’s a miracle,” Doctor Clapton sighed and shook his head. “No. I’ll keep this short. Bones are pressing on your nerves. Any attempt to fix the injury is most likely to result in more injuries. I’m afraid there’s nothing more I can do but - but help keep you comfortable.”
Richard narrowed his eyes. “Am I dying?”
His brother shifted in the corner but said nothing.
The doctor shook his head before glancing between the two of them. “No. You should be able to live a good long life as long as nothing like this happens again. You’ll just have to…adjust.”
“Adjust.” Richard repeated the word slowly. “Adjust?”
“How?” his brother asked curiously.
The conversation continued for several minutes between Jacob and Doctor Clapton.
Richard couldn’t find his voice as he tried to comprehend what he was being told. What they were saying. None of it felt real. It didn’t make any sense what was going on.
His brain scrambled, looking for a way out of this mess.
That little fall couldn’t have done what they were talking about.
Accidents didn’t last forever. They were only there for a moment before they all moved on. There had been accidents before. He knew that. But they only left scars. And scars healed. Scars didn’t leave him trapped or stuck for the rest of his life.
The night passed in quiet. Soon he was all alone. He was still scraped up, still cold, and still trying to understand his new situation.
It didn’t hit him until two days later when the doctor returned.
He came bearing a gift that he and Jacob had been talking about that first day. A chair. A chair of his very own that came with four wheels on the bottom.
Richard stared at it after Jacob deposited it by his bed. Though his brother had hesitated, almost as though he was going to ask if he needed any help, he walked out before saying anything more. And even if he had offered a helping hand, Richard wasn’t certain he would have taken it.
Eyeing the contraption warily, Richard thought back to lying there on the snow the other day when his brother had finally arrived to help him. He thought his brother had said something to him.
“It’s about time you received your comeuppance.”
He frowned, wondering if he had really heard Jacob say that. But it didn’t sound like something Jacob would say.
They were family, after all, the only family either of them had. Though he wasn’t certain they were as close as they once were, there was no reason for his brother to say anything that cruel.
Shaking his head, Richard cleared his mind. It couldn’t have been his brother. Jacob would never say anything like that.
His fall had left him confused and disoriented, so he must have imagined things.<
br />
There was a knock at the door and Jacob peaked his head in.
“Mrs. Pennyworth is finishing up the eggs and bacon. Should we bring you a platter? Or would you like to join us?”
Richard rubbed his hands on his legs as he glanced at the chair waiting for him.
It looked odd. And not very comfortable. While he knew he would have to try it out eventually, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to start using it.
