by Etta Foster
The least he could do was give her what she had wanted.
After that, however, he wasn’t certain what might happen.
Chapter 26
The look on Richard’s face as he settled into his sled chair emphasized his regret.
But to Louise’s surprise, he didn’t tell them to stop or help him back inside.
She twisted her hands as Mrs. Pennyworth wrapped one more blanket around Richard’s legs, before moving back to the porch.
Jacob had been quiet for the last couple of days as he had continued working on the chair even after his brother had refused the gift.
Louise didn’t know why nor what had gone through Jacob’s mind, but she found herself grateful for his actions.
It was hard enough seeing Richard’s character change. But to be the brother of the one going through this hard time sounded nearly impossible.
And there he was.
Richard was strapped into his new chair, similar to his wheeled one, that had strong skis strapped to the legs. The footrest came out instead of dropping down into the snow. The armrests had extra padding and he looked as warm as one could be.
Louise lost count of all the blankets that were tucked around him.
When he grudgingly glanced over, Louise wondered if he was pondering the same question. Then he shrugged and waved the reins at her.
“Well? Are we going?”
She straightened up.
Swallowing hard, she forced a smile on her face.
There was hope in her soul that this walk would do them good. But her first step was hesitant from the way he had treated her lately.
Louise prayed that he wasn’t going to use their time alone to yell at her.
After all, if he wanted this, then he had to be in a better mood.
After fixing her jacket, she nodded. “Lead the way. Where shall we go?”
He grabbed on the reins and gestured toward the western trail. “We can start there.”
She glanced back at the porch where Jacob and Mrs. Pennyworth stood.
They rose their hands to wave as Richard started down in his chair with the eager pony.
Louise turned around to find Richard already yards away.
Inhaling sharply, she trampled through the snow to catch up.
Jacob had given her makeshift snowshoes that helped her walk over the snow. But they were clumsy, and she nearly toppled over several times.
When Richard realized she had fallen behind, he reined in the pony. He glanced over when she caught up, breathless and flushed.
Richard squinted at her. “I didn’t realize we were moving that quickly.”
Inhaling deeply, she shook her head. “No, it’s all right. I haven’t had many opportunities to be out in this much snow,” Louise added after a heartbeat.
He shrugged. But she noticed that his frown was a little softer.
Within a few minutes, they had found a new rhythm of moving along. Though it was still fast, the new pace was manageable. It allowed her to get a sense of the world around them.
Everything was colored in shades of white. She hadn’t realized how beautiful that could be.
It was such a relief to be out in the fresh air, even if it was freezing cold. The sun was out, shining on them.
The world was flat out there except for the grove. Far ahead, she realized there were dark moving objects.
At least, some of them moved. Others were still. Some were white with the snow trapped on their backs. They were cattle.
As her mind thought back to the letters where Richard mentioned his ranch, she had been only able to see it through his eyes.
She remembered how he talked about the fresh scent of hay, the wide-open skies, and the warm winds that wrapped around him throughout the year.
Now she was seeing it all for herself. It was just as beautiful as he described.
“Let’s stop over here.”
Louise jerked her head up to see Richard point to a small overlook by the river.
She had hardly paid attention to the running water. Or what there was of it, for most of the water was frozen over.
There were cracks in the ice and as she followed after him, she could see movement beneath the ice.
“It’s lovely,” Louise said as she sucked in a deep breath. Her chest heaved as she realized she had been struggling during their walk longer than she realized.
Then she glanced at Richard. “Why did we stop here?”
Setting the reins down in his hands, he glanced up at her. His eyes tracked over her heaving shoulders and her wide eyes.
“The pony.” Richard turned away. “She needed a rest. I thought this might make for a nice view.”
A flush spread over her face as she looked away, not certain of how to respond. His face told her it wasn’t just for the pony.
Trying not to be embarrassed, she cleared her throat and looked back to the river.
“It is a lovely view,” she echoed softly. “You’re very fortunate to live somewhere so beautiful.”
“You should see it in the spring when everything is growing,” he pointed out.
Then he paused quietly, fiddling with his reins, before he turned his gaze to her. Even without looking at him, she could feel his eyes studying her. “Speaking of such time, why are you still here?”
She licked her lips as she fiddled with her gloves. That was a simple question, a fair one for him to ask.
They had planned for her to visit, but they had left it open-ended. A train ticket had not been bought for her return only because they had hoped that she wouldn’t.
Luanne was supposedly to return on her own within a few weeks. But no one had talked about that possibility for a while.
Louise asked herself the same question.
Why was she there? Staring at the ground, she could feel Richard studying her.
His lips were pressed tightly together as though he readied himself to be attacked. Ready to fight back.
She didn’t know what he wanted to fight about.
Lately, it was all he wanted. That saddened her heart, causing a deep ache as she thought back to those early letters from Richard. Louise had started reading them at night to help her rest.
But in the mornings, she was left wondering where that man had gone.
Louise considered providing Richard with a lie. It might be easier for both of them.
Yet she didn’t want to lie to him nor to herself. He could fight her or mock her if he desired.
It didn’t matter. She wanted to be honest and hopeful no matter what happened.
“A very kind man wrote me letters over the last couple of months,” Louise said slowly. “He sounded handsome and told me about this ranch that he loved.
“This man was sweet, for he asked me questions and paid attention to what I wrote and what I cared for.
“I suppose I came to see that man and I’m rather hopeful that he’s still here somewhere.”
Her heart thudded loudly in her chest. It was louder than when the pony huffed, making her jump in surprise.
Louise swallowed hard as her body tensed, ready for however Richard might respond. It could be with laughter or screams. Or kindness.
When she dared look down, he was shaking his head.
“I don’t know who that is,” Richard muttered.
Louise swallowed again as she took a small step forward. “I think I do,” she volunteered. “He’s here somewhere, I know it. And I - I’m not ready to give up on the man who wrote me such letters. Not after everything that happened.”
Shifting in his chair, the man turned away from her. Richard refused to meet her gaze.
“You’re only fooling yourself. I… I’m no longer that man.”
There was something in his voice that made her heart ache for him.
An ounce of hurt was there to push her away. But he wasn’t as cruel as he had been before since there was no shouting or anger.
This just made her want to come closer.
/> Louise inched forward as she shook her head. “Of course you are, Richard. No matter what happens, whether you’re sitting or standing, you’re still the same man. I believe that more than anything.”
“You can’t,” he said in disbelief as he fiddled with his blankets. “Just because I’m a cripple doesn’t mean you have to fawn over me like a helpless child.”
“I have never thought that,” Louise frowned. “Don’t call yourself that name, Richard.
“You can be whatever you want to be. Look at you now; you’re outside. You didn’t think you could leave the house, could you? But you did.
“Imagine what else you could do.”
When she put out a hand, he shook his head. Richard leaned to the far side of his chair before waving her off. “Yes, look at me. I’m half a man! In this chair, I don’t even meet your shoulders. Don’t you understand? I’m nothing.”
“You’re wrong,” she tried.
But he interrupted her. “No, you’re wrong. I’m nothing, Louise. You deserve more, so much more.”
Her parents had said that before.
Louise’s mind thought back to the mornings she had sneaked reading bits of the newspaper. Then she thought of her letters exchanged with Richard.
Everyone had their own ideas of what she deserved. No one listened to what she wanted.
“I know what I want and don’t,” she murmured with a shake of her head. Snow began to fall as she glanced up at the sky. “And I know that I don’t want more.”
But he didn’t listen as he scoffed at her. “I can’t do anything for you. That’s not what you deserve. You deserve more. You just don’t understand it yet.”
Louise swallowed back a girlish whine. “Richard, please. If you would only listen…”
“We should start back.” Richard cleared his throat, fixed his blankets, and picked up the reins.
Either he didn’t hear her or didn’t believe her. He clicked his tongue and brought the pony around back towards the trail. He killed the conversation before she had a chance to say anything more.
There were words at the tip of her tongue. But when she opened her mouth, falling snowflakes landed there instead.
She wrapped her coat tighter as she started after him.
They still had a mile or two back to the house. The river was on the outskirts, past the grove and past the cattle.
As Louise squinted, she thought she could see the barn far in the distance.
But somehow that didn’t bring relief to her weary soul. Not after the way their conversation had ended. She glanced back toward Richard and trudged after him.
Chapter 27
Louise had sounded like a sensible woman in her letters.
She wanted a home where she was free to be who she was, to read and write, and have a safe place to live. Richard remembered that from her letters.
In every missive it was pointed out how intelligent she was, how freely she wanted to live her life. It didn’t make sense now why she was being so foolish.
Surely, she had to see the truth. How he was no longer who she thought he was or who he could have been. That man was gone. And left in his place was a crumpled mess bundled in blankets like a baby.
He shook his head with a heavy sigh.
Even as he tried to be kind and considerate to her, she was tossing it back in his face. What did she think was going to happen? That he would fly out of his chair to swoop her in his arms?
His parents had taught him that anything could happen. But then typhoid fever took them away.
It was a little hard to believe anything they said anymore. Richard sighed. Then he glanced behind him to make sure Louise was still nearby.
Though he wanted a moment alone, he didn’t mean to pull himself so much further ahead. The young woman was shuffling her way through the snow, weighed down with her skirts and layers.
Richard tugged on the reins again.
But instead of merely slowing down, his seat stopped and jerked.
He gave the ropes slack as he turned to see the pony stumble down onto her side.
His entire body tensed. Bewildered, he wondered what had happened and moved to the edge of his seat. But he was trapped in his chair.
He felt his mouth turn dry, feeling as helpless as he had been when he had his fall. The horse had stumbled and fallen, but he didn’t know why.
The uncertainty and fear crept over his shoulders to freeze him over. Richard tried to swallow the lump in his throat when he felt a droplet of sweat slip down his forehead.
“Oh!” Louise called after him. “Richard! What happened!?”
No matter how far he stretched out his arms, Richard couldn’t reach the pony.
His hands tightened into fists, but he stayed in his chair. Shaking his head, he could only gesture.
“I don’t know,” he said when Louise brushed by him to kneel by the pony.
He heard her sharp intake of breath.
“Her shoe is split,” Louise called back to him. “There was something sharp in the snow. There’s blood.”
“What?” Richard gripped his armrests tightly. “How much?” he asked, frustrated he couldn’t see for himself.
If it was bad, he told himself, he’d get out and crawl. But he wasn’t certain there was much he could do from that position.
He furrowed his brow as he tried to see over her shoulder.
They were just on the edge of the grove in front of the dense trees that blocked their view of the house. Towards the left were all the cattle. And on the right, the valley dropped down into rocky wilderness.
Richard glanced up at the sky to find the sun hidden behind the clouds. It was dropping quickly, a reminder that the days were short in winter.
He hadn’t realized how much time had passed them. If they didn’t hurry up, they’d be walking in the dark.
Richard shifted in his seat, sparking a stab of pain in his lower back. He gritted his teeth against it as he turned back to Louise.
“How is the pony?” he called to her. “We need to hurry up.”
“I just want to stop the bleeding,” Louise called over her shoulder. “I only need a few more minutes.”
Then he watched as she pulled off her scarf and started to wrap it around the pony’s leg. There wasn’t much more that he could see from his seat.
It was a limiting world view from his chair. Richard hated it.
Annoyed, he shook his head and tried not to let it get to him. He had been having a pleasant enough afternoon. There was no need to ruin it.
Even if he was trapped in a ridiculous chair with a child’s pony which he had already ruined somehow.
Wolves howled in the distance.
They sounded closer than he would have liked. Richard shifted to look around. Even if he could be their lookout, there was little else he could do.
He furrowed his brow, feeling his throat turn dry.
A wolf would see the pony and Louise on the ground. He was fine but appeared short in his chair. No one would present as a threat if a wolf found them.
That made the hair on his neck stand up.
“Louise?” Richard said tersely. “I need you to hurry up. We’ve been out long enough.”
He didn’t want to say anything to scare her. Besides, he was only being careful. A wolf wouldn’t dare come this close. He only wanted to make sure nothing happened.
“In a moment,” she called over to him. “I’m worried she won’t walk well.”
It looked like something had shifted in the nearby trees.
He stiffened. Was that a snow pile or something else? Richard’s eyes darted about. He swallowed but his mouth still felt dry.
“She’ll walk,” he muttered.
Anyone would run to save themselves. That included a pony.
Richard opened his mouth as he realized it had grown awfully quiet.
He couldn’t even hear the wind. The howling of the wolves was gone. Though he told himself it had to be a coincidence, the knot in
his stomach said otherwise.
“Louise? Stand up,” Richard demanded.
She obeyed as she turned to him. Frowning, she shrugged and asked, “Whatever for? I’m still fixing the scarf as a temporary bandage. I want to make sure she’ll be all right.”
