by Finn, Emilia
Nodding, he mirrors my stance, shoves his hands into his pockets and watches the floor. Gummies sit in the bottom of my right pocket amid fluff and whatever other nasty shit goes into pockets. But my left hand plays with the blade I never stopped carrying all this time.
My stolen blade.
My brother’s blade.
“Listen…” He exhales heavily and sends my heart racing. “I don’t und–”
“I hit my target from eleven hundred yards.” I’m so fucking scared right now that my return is unwelcome, I force myself to interrupt his questions before he can officially ask me to leave. “Several times in a row. I was using a Winchester model 70, single shots, and a Leupold scope. I lay on a hill in my ghillie when the sun was only just coming over the horizon; I was eleven hundred yards away in a soft breeze, and I hit four targets in a row. I wanted so badly to call you up and tell you, but I couldn’t.”
“Because you were dead.” His voice catches and breaks. Standing across the room, he rolls onto the heels of his boots and firms his lips into a straight line. “I thought you were dead for seven months, Jay. I thought you died from a cocaine overdose, so I was already mourning you. Then you came back, saved my girl, and died again. I waited months for you to come back to me. I waited for it not to be real, because you’re my baby brother, and I missed you so much it felt like my heart was gone, but you didn’t come back!”
“I’m here now.”
“It’s been so long,” he whispers. “It was the longest seven months of my life. My heart fucking breaks because that seven months was both loss and gain. I lost you, but I got Jessie. Does that mean the universe will take her now that you’re back? Do I have to choose?”
“No.” Reaching up, I run a hand through my short hair. “I’m not taking her from you, I promise. I’m not here to hurt you. I’ve watched you with her the last few months. You’re happy with her. She’s good for you.”
He nods slowly. “She’s perfect for me. I don’t wanna lose her.”
“I’m so sorry for being weak.” Dropping my shoulders, I take a step forward so only eight or so feet separate us. “I was supposed to have your back, but I ended up an addict. I was so fucking ashamed of myself, I let you mourn me a week longer than you needed to, because I didn’t want to show you how weak I was.”
“That batch Abel gave us…” he murmurs. “It was a dirty batch. He was trying to kill us both.”
“Didn’t get either of us.”
His lips twitch. “Bishop men, we’re like cockroaches.” Silence descends over the boardroom for a long minute. Memories of our shitty childhood play through my mind, shitty because Colum Bishop beat and starved us. He felt that’s what he needed to do to demand compliance. That’s what the military does; they wear you down until you’re nothing. Then, if you survived that, if you didn’t tap out, they consider you worthy, so they build you back up again. But despite that, my childhood was actually pretty fucking perfect because I was never hungry alone; I was never hurt alone. I was simply never alone because Kane never turned away from me. He held me close and taught me skills.
When you’re hungry and tired, and you’re not top dog because your brother is, you learn other ways to be valuable. I became the joker, the crazy one, because I couldn’t conjure food or medical supplies out of thin air, but I sure as shit could conjure a joke and make him smile.
I stand in this boardroom in the middle of the day with my brother just a few feet ahead of me, so close we could hug, but so far, I’m not sure we’re even brothers anymore, and I think of all the good times.
But he stands there and probably thinks of his schedule, his girl, his rebound bro. He’s probably wondering how long it’ll take for me to take a hint and fuck off. Because I died seven months ago, and he moved on.
“Are you staying here?” Glancing up, I catch sight of his watery eyes and stop breathing altogether. “Are you staying, Jay? Will she let you?”
“She? Soph?”
He nods.
“She loves me. And I love you. She’ll stay wherever I’ve gotta stay.”
“She loves you? For real?”
I nod and let out a watery laugh. “She can be a little prickly around new people, but I seem to recall Jess slamming you into place a billion times, too. It’s what we get for falling in love with headstrong women. It’s the price we pay for perfection.” Smiling because now I’m thinking of my girl, I exhale and let a little of the worry go. If Kane asks me to leave, I still won’t be alone. “Soph’s truly amazing, Kane. She’s perfect, and, bad attitude or not, you’ll be glad she’s one of us.”
“She’s gonna be my sister for real?”
Nodding, I flip the blade in my pocket as nervous energy radiates beneath my skin until I’m ready to fly through the roof. “I actually already told her what’s happening. But that we had to wait for you to stand with me.”
Dropping his head, he watches his boots and continues to rock on his heels. “I was waiting for you, too. I told Jessie we’re marrying, told her she’s stuck with me for life. Every day that you didn’t come back broke me a little more.”
“I’m right here,” I choke out. “I just need you to tell me you love me.”
“I do.” Glancing up, I see an actual tear slide over his cheek. “I love you, Jay. I’m sorry you got sick; I’m sorry you got hurt. It was my job to take care of you, and you had all these battles you were fighting alone.”
I’ve never in my adult life cried. Not even when I was dying from a bad batch of cocaine. Not when my apartment was firebombed and I feared Sophia was hurt, not when I was shot in the head, and not when I woke up with the world’s worst headache. But I step forward now with tears in my eyes and throw my arms around my brother’s shoulders. He’s my size, my height, my build. He’s two years older, so he always took on the responsibility, but when my breath explodes against his shoulder, he returns my hug and squeezes me so tight, I finally feel put back together again. “You’re back.”
“I’m back.” I don’t say a damn word about the way his chest bounces. Or his hot breath hitting my shoulder in fast, choking pants. I’ve always known he was alive. I’ve watched him for months. But he’s only just now finding out about me, so I keep my trap shut, let him lean on me, and when tears slide over my cheeks, I shamelessly wipe them on his shirt.
“I love you, Jay.”
“I love you too. I promise not to die again.”
He chokes out a laugh. “Fuck me, this is too stressful.” Pulling back, he holds my shoulders and looks me over. “You’re alive. Yeah, motherfucker! You’re alive.” Instead of chest bumps, he pulls me back in for a hug and presses a stupid, noisy kiss to my cheek. “I can’t process.”
“You need your girl?”
He barks out a laugh. “I actually think I do. Jesus, there’s so much going on that you’re now a part of.”
“Like CAB?”
“No! Like, my girl is amazing. She’s my coping mechanism now, so you’re gonna see her around a lot.”
I laugh. “Okay.”
“But she’s a twin, and her sister is Jess’ coping mechanism when I can’t keep up, which means Laine is around a lot too. But now you’re here, and you were always my coping mechanism, so I’m keeping you close, which means Sophia will be around a lot.”
“She’s not going anywhere. She’s mine.”
“So I get a sister?”
I nod. “But don’t step on her. And don’t take her food. She’s a beast, and she goes for the throat every time.”
“Noted.” Sniffling, he wipes a hand beneath his nose and laughs. “Jesus, you left me, Jay, and I was all alone. Then I got Jess, then we got Laine, then we got Ang, and it all exploded from there.”
“Yeah, about that. He’s gotta go.”
“He–” Surprised, he pauses and looks back into my eyes. “Huh?”
“Angelo Alesi? It’s time we have a hit put on him. He’s extra weight; we don’t need him.”
“We’re not put
ting a hit on him!” Laughing, he pulls me back in and squeezes. “He’s actually really cool. And since he’s with the twin, he’s gonna be around a lot too.”
“But I’m your bro.” Pathetically, my voice quivers. “You’re mine, not his. I heard you call him bro, and I swear, I almost tore my house down to get to you.”
“You’re jealous?” Kane’s watery eyes light up. “You’re jealous of my new brother?”
“He’s not your brother! I’m your brother, you asshole.”
“The girls are a package deal, Jay. Where one goes, the other goes. Where the twink goes, Angelo follows. You’re gonna have to get on board with that.”
“He’s not your bro. I’m your bro, and you only get one.”
“You’re so fuckin’ petty.” Laughing, he slaps my back and pushes me toward the door. “And good job on the eleven-hundred-yard shots. That’s so good.”
“Four and a half seconds,” I gloat. “And a breeze! Motherfucker, I almost jumped to my feet and did the Tarzan holler. I was this close to texting you, but figured a text from the grave might freak you out a little.”
Chuckling, he pulls me close until our heads smack together. “It would’ve been a little weird. But now we gotta talk. About everything. You’re not leaving my sight until I get all the details.”
“I already live across the street,” I laugh. “Oh, and you gotta get better about putting your trash out. Sophia’s gonna murder me if I continue to do it for you and risk blowing my cover.”
Stopping, he turns and looks into my eyes. He stares for a long minute; his brows pull close, then, blowing his breath through his nose, he shakes his head and swings the door wide. “My trash. You’ve been fucking up my security and scaring the street cats because you wanted to take my trash out. Guys!” Lifting his chin and waiting for the staff of the large Checkmate office to come to attention, Kane smiles like he’s a kid all over again and we hit our first targets. “He’s home.”
My eyes naturally zing across the open plan office space in search of my sweet Sophia, but it takes only a moment to locate her sitting in an office chair with a mouthful of burger while the blonde twins and Andi surround her. My stomach drops from hunger, and my heart breaks when Soph pushes the last mouthful in and leaves me none.
But then she smiles and lifts a second paper bag and shakes it. “I got you one too, handsome.”
“Yes!” Walking away from my brother, I make a beeline for the desk of women and snatch the paper bag from Soph’s hands. Leaning between the twins, I place a fast kiss on Soph’s lips and laugh when they make the “awww” sound. “I’m so fuckin’ hungry, my hungry is hungry, Soph.”
“I’ve got your back, babe. We haven’t eaten in an hour, so I knew your blood sugar would be dropping fast.”
“Got it from Franky’s diner,” Eric volunteers. “They make a good burger up at Franky’s.”
Tearing the bag open, because manners are far less important to me than my appetite right in this moment, I peel the paper back, then take a large bite as Kane and his men create a semi-circle around us and smile.
Grabbing Soph’s hand, I yank her up and pull her into my side. “Guys,” burger crumbs fall onto my shirt as I speak, “this is Sophia Solomon the Wise and Peaceful. She’s fresh outta peace, but she’s smart as fuck, so that kinda makes up for it. She’s mine; she holds a mean grudge; she dances like an angel, and she’s probably gonna stab you or shoot you at some point. Definitely don’t touch her food. But her heart is pure gold, so get the fuck on board and welcome her into the family.”
Eric is the first to bound forward. He’s older than the rest of us, though not by a lot; he’s in the second half of his thirties rather than the first half. He steps forward with a goofy grin and pulls Soph in for a hug while I slam half my burger down in one go.
“You’re in. Welcome to the family, Sophia.”
As we work through the crowd, the girls say hello, and Spence has to be pulled off Soph before he gets himself shot. Angelo steps forward, and though he’s not as loud as the others, he’s also not particularly shy.
Stopping two feet in front of us, he pulls his blonde into his side and mirrors me, then he extends a hand. “Angelo Alesi.”
“I know who you are.” Nodding toward his hair, I add, “I like your haircut.”
“Really?” Grinning, his eyes dart to Soph for a beat, then back to me. “Thanks, man. It was a big change for me, but–”
“I’m kidding, Alesi. It’s fuckin’ ugly. You’re ugly. Get the fuck outta my space and don’t come back. I’m here now, so you can skedaddle. Kane doesn’t need his rebound bro when he’s got the real thing right here.”
“Alrighty.” Barging forward with a laugh, Kane moves Ang back and replaces the couple with himself and Jess. “You need to be cool to him, Jay. He’s blood in, and he’s savage. Don’t pick fights you can’t finish.” Extending a hand toward Soph, Kane turns sheepish. “Ah… so… Hi, Sophia. I’d like it if we could start over. My name’s Kane Bishop. You’re dating my baby brother, and since he told me you’re his, and it’s real, I believe that makes you family. I don’t wanna fight with my sister. In fact, we’re probably gonna hug in a sec, then tomorrow, I’ll create a nickname for you. Then we’ll drink together and compete in karaoke, and thus, will form unbreakable bonds.”
I want to laugh at my idiot brother’s speech, because he never used to be this silly. The right girl will do that to you, I guess, and I’ve never seen him so happy. But I can’t laugh, because my heart feels like it’s caught inside a clamp. It squeezes and squeezes and squeezes the longer she stares at his hand.
But then she takes it.
Relief swamps my body until I can barely catch my breath, though she wouldn’t be Sophia Solomon if she let shit go so easily. “Hi, Kane Bishop. I’m probably a better singer than you; I can dance, and sex sells. Also, I moonlight as a stripper, so you’re gonna lose if you challenge me to any kind of stage performance. I’m here for the long haul, because Jay loves me more than he loves you…” She hesitates. “Probably. We can be friends, so long as you don’t step on me, but the moment you start stomping, I intend to tie you to a wall and cut your nuts out. I’ll use pliers so I don’t have to touch your ding dong.”
Wide-eyed and tight-lipped, Kane turns to the group behind him and lifts a brow.
Spence wipes a thick hand over his chin and shakes his head. “Our new leader has spoken. Which reminds me, we’ve still got that asshole in the tank. Can we get to him already?”
* * *
“Let’s talk.” Kane pulls a chair from behind a desk, sits down with a grunt, and pulls Jess into his lap. Picking up a desk phone, he dials his receptionist in the front. “Dolly. We’re in lockdown for real. Shut us down; lock us up. You don’t even have to answer the phones until I give you the green. Nobody comes in here until we’re done.”
“Aye aye, Captain. Can I go down to Caitlin’s and get my hair done? I already made the appointment, and I was intending to sneak out while you were busy.”
Laughing, he shakes his head. “Sure thing, but we’re in full lockdown. You don’t gossip with those girls about who’s in this office today.” His eyes meet mine. “You have no clue what’s happening, okay?”
“I got it, boss. I know who pays my bills, and as soon as you send your itty-bitty bimbo packing, I’ll know who’s waiting for me in bed, too. You have my loyalty, handsome.”
Hanging up, he shakes his head and presses a kiss to the ball of Jess’ shoulder. “I don’t know if Dolly was my best idea or my worst. I haven’t figured it out yet.”
“If she’d stop plotting my death, she’d be pretty cool,” Jess replies easily. “But I guess she’s okay. She’s tolerable.”
“I can hear you, white girl!” Dolly swings her voluptuous ass around the corner and pokes a finger toward Jess. “I can hear everything you say. Watch it.” Then she turns to me. “As far as the girls at the salon know, I know nothing. But it does my heart good to see your han
dsome face, sugar. Stick around, because I wanna hang out later.”
“She’s gonna hump your leg,” Riley says. Turning my gaze to him, I find another clamp around my heart release when he smiles. He doesn’t have to say what his eyes so clearly scream. He knew me as a junkie. He knew me when I was sick and dying.
Now I’m here, healthy, eating real food, and can see clear as day.
I shouldn’t get on Kane’s case about Angelo too much, considering I thought of Riley as a brother too.
“I need answers.” Kane’s words bring me back around. “Start at the start.”
“I got shot.”
His eyes narrow. “I know, motherfucker. Don’t remind me.”
“I had him yanked from Infernos,” Soph says. “I’ve been watching for a long time.”
“Why him?” Kane asks. “Why’d you pick him?”
She gives a casual shrug. “Because he’s sexier.”
“Told ya so!” I take a fry from the paper spread out on the desk behind me and toss it in his face. All I get is Jess screeching and tossing it back, but behind her, Kane smiles.
“Because he just seemed a good fit,” Soph amends. “I researched you both. Well,” she looks to Spence, Eric, then Riley, “I researched you all, but Jay was the one who kept popping up as highest match for what I needed. Eric was brass, and our target is brass, so how was I to know he wasn’t part of it?”
“I’m not part of shit!” Eric snaps. “I’m not dirty.”
“You’re fine,” she huffs. “I researched you all so much, I know about Gemma. I know that your cable comes out on the fourteenth of every month, and that Spence likes to collect guns. Riley’s sweet momma likes cupcakes, and Kane’s only mission before Jess came along was Jay.” She turns from Eric’s fiery gaze and looks to Kane. “You were in Infernos only because it was your job, but if given the choice, you could take it or leave it. It was almost like…” Pausing, she picks up her own fry and slides it into her mouth. “I guess you were lacking the humanity I was searching for. That’s not a fault,” she adds. “Your job sucked ass, so I know why you turned into an unfeeling machine. But Jay didn’t do that; he was still making jokes and buying online comic books. I have surveillance of him laughing more than anything else…” She shrugs and turns to me. “I guess it drew me in.”
