by Martina Cole
Dicky had sussed him out a long time ago. He had a father just like Freddie, and he was determined not to be like any of them. Rox was a star and he loved her. He didn’t want anyone else just yet, but when he did he would take them discreetly and without fear of hurting the love of his life.
Rox was like a clone of Maggie at the same age. At twenty-one she was stunning, and she was also a qualified hairdresser and beautician. She ran Maggie’s second-biggest salon in Chingford, and she had bought her own little flat and her own car. Maggie had helped her, though no one knew that, of course.
She thanked God every day for her aunt, and she worshipped her. Maggie had helped her get away from the dump she had grown up in and shown her a better way of life.
Now that she had Dicky and she was in love, her life was better than it had ever been. Her father had tried to stop them, but once Jimmy gave his blessing he had calmed down a bit. Plus, she thought that her father actually liked Dicky but just couldn’t admit it.
It was a Friday night and the salon was packed out. The sun beds were all booked up and the smell of the tanning accelerator was heavy in the air, mingling with the perfumed smell of the hair products used by the stylists. Rox was tired, happy, and trying to make Dicky get out of her little office so she could get on with her work.
One of the juniors, a pretty girl with heavy hips and hair extensions, called through the door. ‘Margaret’s buzzer just went. Shall I wash her colour off, or do you want to check it first?’
‘I’m coming, Renee. Pour her a glass of white wine, and pour me one and all. I’ll be right there.’
She pushed Dicky towards the door. ‘Come on, you, get a move on. I have work to do.’
He laughed. ‘We still on for tonight?’
She nodded, amazed as always that this lovely man wanted her. ‘Meet me at me flat about half eight, or would you rather meet me in the pub?’
‘Better be the pub, eh? Your dad and that will be there, won’t they?’
She sighed. They walked out together into the bustle of her little domain, and she felt the thrill she always felt knowing this was all under her control.
Dicky left just as two women came in, hoping for quick blow-dries, and she smiled professionally at Margaret Channing, checking her hair with an expert eye, even though her mind was on the night ahead.
‘Where’s me boy, then?’
Jimmy sounded annoyed and Maggie said, as nicely as she could, ‘He is at me mum’s. We have Jackie’s birthday, don’t we?’
He nodded, but she knew he was not happy and he would have preferred to drop the boy off on the way there. She had justified leaving Jimmy Junior there already because she had a lot of work to catch up on and she needed the time to herself. This was really a complete fabrication but she still tried to convince herself that it was true.
‘Ain’t your mum and dad going, then?’
Maggie turned to face him. As he looked into her lovely face, Jimmy wondered for the millionth time what was so wrong with his wife that she couldn’t take to her own child.
‘Maddie is going to me mum’s and having him for a while. They won’t stay long anyway, you know that. Me dad hates Freddie, and me mum only tolerates him. Once Jackie has a few and gets stroppy they’ll bugger off.’
Jimmy nodded, but he was still upset that his little fella was not at home to greet him. He looked around his home, and knew that this was a home to be proud of. It was a six-bedroomed detached Georgian house in three acres. It had a pool, a sauna and was like something from a magazine.
Maggie had the knack of doing the places up, he could not deny that. Yet this house felt empty, devoid of any real life. It was crazy because he had wanted a home like this all his life, and now he had it, he couldn’t enjoy it. He knew it was because of Maggie and her attitude towards the boy, and as much as he loved her, he adored his son. Jimmy Junior was a diamond, clever, funny and good natured. When he looked at the child, he saw himself, like looking in a mirror, and his mother and Maggie’s mother loved him. If he had been a bugger, like Little Freddie, then he could have understood Maggie’s attitude, but even though she did all that was supposed to be done for a child, he knew, and more importantly, little Jimmy knew, that she did it because it was expected, not out of any kind of love.
She had never seemed to really care for him. After his birth Maggie’s attitude had been put down to postnatal depression, but although she had recovered from that eventually, she simply hadn’t ever bonded with the child.
He walked up the large staircase, and as always marvelled at the beauty of this house, and he knew that he would move out in the morning to a little flat if it would bring back the happiness they had shared in the early days of their marriage.
Maggie came out of their bedroom suite and she looked stunning. He smiled at her and said sincerely, ‘You look fucking gorgeous, Mags.’
She smiled back and he saw the professionally whitened teeth and the immaculate make-up and knew the smile was there and reaching her eyes only because her son was not in the house. She relaxed when the boy was away from her, and he knew that was not fanciful thinking because he felt the change in her, saw the difference in her moods.
She moved sedately past him and he walked into his large bedroom with its twin bathrooms and dressing rooms and he felt completely empty inside.
Jackie looked lovely. The girls had done her hair and make-up, and had made sure she did not get pissed too quickly by rationing her drinking.
Little Freddie, who was now huge and cumbersome, was lying on the front-room floor as usual, watching Sky TV.
Dianna looked around the place and sighed. It was rotten again, and she knew that if she didn’t give it a good go over then no one ever would. The way her parents lived amazed her even as it annoyed her. The money that was wasted on furniture and decorators was astronomical, yet nothing was ever looked after or respected. Her bedroom was perfect, but it had a sturdy lock on the door to keep Little Freddie out. That little sod would rob anything if it wasn’t nailed down, and she hoped that this time when he went to court they sent him away somewhere.
He was already well known to the police and hated by nearly everyone in his orbit. Because he was Freddie Jackson’s son and heir he was allowed to get away with murder and one day that would be what he was charged with. She had no doubt about that whatsoever!
Jackie burped, and the sound made Dianna’s stomach churn. She was like an animal at times. She only hoped that her father turned up, because if he didn’t there would be trouble. Her mother laid great store on her birthday, and on her husband being with her in the pub for all to see. It was a sham, and Dianna was sick to death of it all.
Jackie was dressed in a black trouser suit and she looked nice. She was pleased with how well she had scrubbed up, but the drink had bloated her and although the weight that had piled on a few years ago was now dropping off her at an alarming rate, her hands and face were still puffy. She should cut down on the booze, but knew that she wouldn’t.
Anyway, it was her birthday. If you couldn’t have a drink on your birthday, when could you?
Dianna looked great, Jackie thought. She was a beauty, and Kimberley was looking lovely too. Kim worried her, though. Unlike Rox, who had fucked off at the earliest opportunity, she looked like she was here for the duration.
Kimberley, who had always been the mouthy one, had changed over the last few years. She rarely went out in the evenings to the pub, or to go clubbing. She was like the ghost of Christmas past, and now she didn’t even seem to work that much. Jackie knew Maggie had tried to stick a firework up her arse on more than one occasion because she had let her down in the salons.
Kim always looked like she was sickening for something, as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. But she was all grown up now, so it was none of her business what went on in that girl’s head. She had done her bit, and it was up to them to sort themselves out.
Jackie put her daughters out of her mind and wo
ndered if her Freddie would turn up like he had promised. He had better. She didn’t ask a lot of him, just that he came out with her on high days and holidays. Surely as his wife she was entitled to that much?
Little Freddie kicked out at Kimberley as she walked past him and she ignored him. He started shouting and swearing at her as she walked up the stairs to go into her bedroom.
Dianna watched her go and sighed. There was trouble waiting to explode and it would happen sooner rather than later. If her mum or dad actually looked at Kim one day they would realise exactly what the score was. But they were not going to hear it from her. She had enough to contend with as it was.
Freddie was already in the pub, not because he was waiting for his wife, but because he was chasing a piece of skirt who worked behind the bar. She was young, only eighteen, but she had the knowing look he loved, and the slutty way of dressing that told him she was well up for it.
Well, so was he. He was now investing in his future sex life by buying her drinks and charming her with his stories and jokes. He was a Face, and as such was already halfway into her knickers. He was half pissed, too, but he was being a good boy because he wanted to impress this little hussy and hopefully bed her before the night was out.
He knew she had a baby, which was always a guarantee for a good time in his experience. Once they were lumbered with a kid and a council flat, the novelty of motherhood soon wore off. Then they were lonely, skint and, more to the point, looking for a bit of excitement to liven up what had turned out to be a very dull and boring existence.
Girls like this little barmaid amazed him. They wanted kids but when they arrived, very few actually enjoyed the experience, and then they wondered why the men in the equation fucked off out at the earliest opportunity. What man in his right mind would believe that the same girl who had dropped her drawers in nanoseconds for him had not done the same thing many times before with other mugs? So the girls quite rightly ended up on their Jack Jones, and then became the local shag for married men like himself.
Oh, he knew all the signs. They were dressed to kill - even just going up the local shops for a loaf of bread or their family allowance, they were half naked and plastered in make-up. Their lives revolved around a few mates in a similar position to them, their mums, and their mum’s houses, and pulling a bloke, hopefully a live one.
They were accidents waiting to happen, and he liked to get them while they were still halfway decent. Within a few years, this girl would have produced another baby, maybe two and she would be relegated to being a booty call for the local no necks, giro blasters and tracksuit wearers. At the moment, though, he wanted her, and he was determined to have her.
He felt in his pockets and caressed his wad of cash. Every time he pulled it out to get a drink her eyes nearly popped out of her head. So far he knew her name was Charmaine, she had a baby girl of thirteen months and a flat within walking distance of the pub and the house where he lived with Jackie, and that her big dream was to go to Florida. She was already proving to be uncomplicated and without any kind of imagination at all, so there was no chance of her wanting long conversations or trying to impress him with her staggering intelligence.
He was on a roll when Jackie and the girls walked into the pub, and he sighed heavily as Charmaine took one look at Jackie, who was now standing beside him like his minder, and sensibly made her way to the other end of the bar in a state of extreme fright.
‘Ain’t you going to wish me happy birthday, then?’
Freddie smiled and said casually, as he tried to get the landlady’s attention for a drink, ‘No, Jackie, I ain’t.’
Little Jimmy was watching a cartoon and eating a biscuit when Little Freddie finally rolled up at his nana’s house. Jimmy Junior was terrified of his cousin because he was such a noisy and aggressive lad who seemed to take great delight in frightening him.
As soon as he came into the flat the atmosphere changed, and Maddie, who had hoped that Little Freddie wouldn’t want to come and sit in with her and Jimmy Junior, was already feeling a nervous wreck.
Little Freddie was enjoying the effect he was creating. He loved the way people were scared of him and tried to get round him, to get in his good books. He was a handsome lad, though his features were marred by his surly and unhappy expression. He was also badly scarred since he had been stitched up many times, mainly over his refusal to feel any kind of danger, and because he had been in so many fights.
Now he looked at the little boy who he knew was hoping that he would not be nasty, and he smiled at him because his father had warned him that one more incident with Jimmy Junior and he would really take him in hand.
Little Freddie had realised that his father was wary of Big Jimmy, and that had been a learning curve. He had never imagined his father fearing anyone or anything. But he had realised a while back that it was Jimmy who ran everything and that even his father had to do what he was asked.
So he smiled at his little cousin and, giving his old nana a big hug, he sat down and watched the cartoons with a light heart and a calm exterior.
Like his father before him he was formulating a plan, and like his father before him, it needed serious plotting and serious intention. Unlike his father, though, he paid attention to the details.
Maggie looked around the pub and willed the clock to go faster. She hated this place now, though there had been a time when she had loved coming in here. It was still dirty, still had the same cloying smell of disinfectant and beer in the carpet and, more worrying, it still had the same people in the same seats as when she had first come in there all those years ago.
The place was like some kind of time warp.
Her mother and father were having the time of their lives, despite having sworn they’d leave early, and she envied them the carefree joviality they seemed to possess no matter what happened to them.
Jackie was pissed out of her brains, and Freddie was watching a skinny barmaid with too much make-up and greasy hair. The girls were all laughing and joking at the bar, and that young Dicky was looking at Rox as if he had just won the Rollover on the National Lottery.
Maggie felt a pang in her breast as she remembered that she had been like that once - carefree, young and madly in love. She sought out Jimmy with her eyes and saw him in earnest conversation with Dianna.
She was a beauty, was Dianna. As Maggie watched them talk, she heard Jackie’s high-pitched voice as she started to abuse the young barmaid. She closed her eyes, and when she opened them again she saw Freddie being held back by Jimmy and her father, and the girls trying to help Jackie up off the filthy floor. Jackie had a bloody nose, and she felt an urge to cry at the complete abortion that constituted her life.
Instead she got up and walked to her sister and, taking her gently by the arm, she helped the drunken and bleeding woman into the toilets.
Freddie pushed Jimmy and Joseph away from him, waving his arms to let them know he was calmer and then he said loudly, ‘Cabaret’s over, let’s get another drink.’
Everyone in the pub went back to what they were doing. This kind of occurrence was the norm, and broke up the sheer boredom that most of them felt for the majority of the time.
Rox and Dianna watched their mother as she limped into the toilet with Maggie and then saw their elder sister sneak out to the other bar. Dicky looked at Rox and made a face that told her he wanted to go, and go sooner rather than later.
She nodded in complete agreement. They had done their bit, and now they were free to leave and enjoy themselves at last.
Maggie had a headache and she knew it was going to be a blinder. As she stripped off her clothes, she glanced at herself in the full-length mirror on the dressing-room wall. She didn’t have a mark on her, no one would ever believe she had given birth to a child. She knew this fact annoyed her sister Jackie no end, but it didn’t bother her either way. Any pleasure she had ever garnered from her body was long gone.
Freddie had seen to that.
In her salon
s, she was complimented all day by women who wanted perfection and thought that she possessed it. If only they knew the truth of it. She saw her body as something corrupt, something disgusting and something that had been the vessel that had brought her and her family to this point.
She slipped a white silk nightie over her head. Seeing her reflection again she knew she looked lovely, and that Jimmy would take her and she would let him. It was easier than trying to make excuses not to make love.
She walked back into the bedroom and sat on the chaise longue that was supposed to have been used for romance, but was used for her to watch TV. Jimmy was putting the boy to bed, and she knew he was making up for not seeing him earlier and, as well, trying to make up for her complete lack of interest in the child.
She placed a hand softly on to her belly and rubbed it unconsciously.
She had never taken any precautions since the boy’s birth and there had been nothing. This had only strengthened her belief that Jimmy was besotted with Freddie’s child. And Jimmy Junior was by some strange quirk of nature a nice child, he was a dear little soul. But she knew that one day he would change. He would turn into his true self, and then Freddie Jackson would be living under her roof.
Maggie knew he still believed that Jimmy Junior was his child, and that he was pleased about it. She heard him telling Jimmy how much he looked like his father, and he would be looking at her as he said it. The two men looked so alike it was uncanny.
