by Martina Cole
Glenford nodded. ‘’Course, he is my friend.’ He could see that the answer was not what Freddie had wanted to hear.
Freddie didn’t respond to him. He sipped at his Scotch and his scowl was once more back in evidence.
Freddie and Jimmy were so alike, and yet so different. Freddie, he noticed, looked good for his age, but he had that petulant look about him that was peculiar to white men. It was odd, but there were a lot of disappointed-looking white men walking around. It was mad, but it was a fact.
Freddie had that look. He was a big man, with a big, powerful physique, and that was what made him look so disaffected. He was still handsome, still had the look that women loved. Glenford had seen the man in action and he had to take his hat off to him. But Freddie’s disposition meant that no matter what he got, he would never be happy.
It was a shame, because he had been given more opportunities than most men could even hope for.
Freddie was now eyeing up a girl at the end of the bar. She was mixed race, in her early twenties and Glenford had considered giving her the old Prentiss charm. But he watched in admiration as Freddie turned from morose and scowling to cheerful and carefree. Skirt could do that to a man, and Freddie was only happy when he was conquering someone or something.
Seeing him now, with his smiling face and his jokey voice, he knew no one would believe that this was the same man who had walked in not ten minutes ago looking fit to be tied and up for a fight. It was like a miracle, and the girl was thrilled with herself.
Glenford toyed with the idea of telling the girl what to expect, how Freddie would romance her, bed her and then own her until he got fed up. But she was already walking towards them with a huge grin and a sultry swagger, and he decided to let her find all that out for herself.
So he drank his beer and listened with half an ear until Freddie finally went in for the kill.
‘Oh Jimmy, it’s beautiful.’
Maggie stared in awe at the watch her husband had presented her with. It was a gold Rolex, and she loved it. She had wanted one for a while, and now she had it and she was absolutely delighted with it.
She snapped open her Cartier and dropped it on to the dressing table, and she allowed Jimmy to place her new timepiece on to her wrist.
‘Oh my God, what is this for?’
He shrugged, then kissed her tenderly, and once more he marvelled because she wasn’t trying to move away from him. ‘It’s because I love you, Mags, and I always will.’
He was so earnest she wanted to cry.
Jimmy Junior ran into the room and he was laughing loudly. ‘I saw you kissing!’ He was all embarrassed and they both laughed with him.
Jimmy picked him up effortlessly and placed him on his shoulders. ‘Come on, my little man, let’s get you to Nana’s, eh?’
They all walked down the stairs together and their laughing and chattering echoed around the house. Jimmy was so happy to hear it and that his family was mended and healed that he felt the urge to cry. Instead, he grabbed his wife’s hand and, still holding on to his little son, he started them all off singing.
‘One man went to mow . . .’
It was his son’s favourite song, and as they walked from the house the sound was ringing in his ears. Especially Jimmy Junior’s laughter. He had a dear little giggle that was so cute, and it proved he had a real good sense of humour too.
He was blessed. His life was perfect, and his family were perfect. What more could any man want?
‘Will you be all right with these two, Joe, if I pop over Sylvie’s?’
He nodded, his eyes glued to the TV, just like his elder grandson’s. Little Freddie had joined them after tea, and played nicely with his cousin until bedtime.
‘You go, Lena, and leave them with me, girl.’
She slipped on a cardigan and crept from the flat. Sylvie was always up for a laugh and she was fed up with Joe and his bloody telly programmes. Jimmy Junior was dead to the world, and now Little Freddie was sitting with his granddad like a little angel - not a phrase she had ever thought she would use about him - and she was going to have a nice cuppa and a good old gossip.
At the next ad break, Little Freddie stood up. ‘Can I use the loo, Granddad?’
‘’Course you can, you silly little sod.’ Joe smiled at the change in the boy. Imagine asking to use the loo.
He was still glued to the TV an hour later when Jackie came by to pick her son up. She was drunk, and she was also belligerent.
Lena arrived just after her daughter. She could hear her strident voice through the front door, and she hoped she didn’t wake that little child with her noisy carrying on.
Jackie was stoned out of her mind, and on one level she knew that she should not be in her mother’s shouting the odds, but she could not stop herself. Freddie had told her in no uncertain terms that Jimmy and Maggie had walked away with his job, that her sister and her family had all conspired against him, and that she was nothing but a drunken whore and she could expect him when she finally saw him.
She knew he was annoyed with her for being so drunk and he was taking his anger out on her, but she was determined to make someone listen to what she had to say.
‘Will you keep your fucking voice down, Jackie. That little boy is asleep.’
Jackie looked at her mother through unfocused eyes and she said in a stage whisper, ‘Oh, fucking hell, mustn’t wake Maggie’s baby, eh? You never fucking had mine round here, did you?’
Lena sighed. ‘I had your girls all the time, Jackie, remember? They practically lived here at one point. Now either calm down or fuck off home. I ain’t in the mood for you tonight.’
Jackie looked awful. Her hair was matted where she had slept on it all afternoon, and her make-up was streaked over her face. She was dressed like a refugee, and she was up for a fight.
Well, Lena and Joe were determined to see that she did not get one.
Joe motioned with his head and Lena nodded. He was getting his coat to walk Jackie home. This was a running joke now. Tomorrow she would have no memory of this whatsoever, but for now Lena had to try to calm her down.
Little Freddie was standing there watching her, and for the first time ever Lena felt a twinge of pity for him. No wonder he was like he was, with this sorry excuse for a mother and that ponce Freddie as a father.
‘You are wankers, you and my dad. Nothing but fucking wankers.’ Jackie was pointing at her mother now, poking a grubby finger into her face.
‘Stop this, Jackie, stop it. Why do you do this?’ She was trying to walk her towards the front door, but Jackie was so unsteady on her feet Lena was convinced her daughter was going to fall over and hurt herself.
Little Freddie was attempting to help his mother stand upright when she pushed him away from her and shouted, ‘You are trying to send me away again, ain’t you? You don’t want me or mine here, you don’t care about us. It’s all about Maggie, ain’t it? I can count on one hand the amount of times you’ve been round my house, but I come here every day, every day I come to see you. Well, not any more, you can all fuck off now. My Freddie was right all along, none of you care about me. None of you.’
She was on a roll now, gesturing madly with her arms, and Lena watched her eldest child in abject sorrow. No wonder the girls were never home, no wonder they avoided her like the plague. At this moment she could even find it in her heart to sympathise with Freddie, because Jackie couldn’t be the easiest of people to live with.
Jackie screwed her face up in hate, and spewed out her vitriol and her anger while all the time being led out of the flat. Joseph had the front door open and he was dressed for the outdoors. When Jackie saw him standing there, she laughed out loud.
‘Oh, here we go, the big guns are out, are they? Walking me home, are you, Dad? Making sure I don’t stay here with you pair of fucking tossers.’
Little Freddie helped his mother out of the door. He was holding her up now, and Lena watched them go down the stairs until finally she could shu
t her front door. She knew that her neighbours had heard Jackie’s ranting and raving, and she felt angry and upset.
She sat at her little kitchen table and put her head into her hands in utter despair. This was happening more and more, and she knew that something would have to be done before that girl drank herself into an early grave.
No wonder that boy was a mad bastard. What had he ever had in his life that was constant, that was good? She had a memory, suddenly, of Little Freddie as a baby, only about eighteen months old. Jackie was half cut as usual and she was saying to the boy, ‘Here, Freds, phone Daddy.’
And the child had picked up the phone and said over and over again, ‘Tunt, tunt.’
He could not say ‘cunt’ yet, but Jackie had rolled up.
Joseph had said to her then, all those years ago, ‘God help that child, Lena. Between the two of them he has no fucking chance.’
And he had been right.
Chapter Twenty-Three
‘I have never felt more happy in my life, Jimmy.’
His wife was relaxed, so liquid in his arms, that he felt as if he had been given a second chance at happiness. In the last couple of years she had gradually become again the girl he had known, the woman he had always needed.
Last night had been one of the most fulfilling nights of his life. His Mags had given herself to him with such forcefulness he had been amazed. All the hurt, all the distance was gone, and this was a new beginning for them, a new start to a marriage that even at its worst was better than anything else he could imagine.
He kissed her gently on the lips and she snuggled closer to him.
It was so long since Maggie had felt this calm, this happy, and she wanted the feeling to last as long as possible.
Jimmy held his tiny wife in his arms and marvelled at the change in her. Whatever had ailed her after Jimmy Junior was born, it seemed it was finally gone, and the laughing, happy girl he had married was back for good. Just to hold her like this was wonderful, to feel her soft skin next to his, to smell her perfume.
Unlike Freddie, and even Glenford, birds had never been a top priority with him and he had never really wanted anyone other than Maggie. He had taken a few fliers over the years but they were few and far between and he had regretted them immediately. No other woman had ever made him feel like his Mags did. And Little Jimmy was like the icing on the cake. He was their world, and they would see that he had everything that they had never had.
‘So is Ozzy giving all his businesses over you, then?’
Jimmy kissed her again. ‘It seems like it, but he ain’t giving them to me as such, though Freddie won’t believe that. I am just going to run them all for him. Like I do with all the other businesses.’
‘He must really trust you, Jim.’
He smiled then. ‘I hope so, babe, he ain’t never had any reason not to.’
He was so dependable, her Jim, no one would ever say a bad thing about him because he was as right as the mail, as her mum always pointed out.
‘What’s he like?’
‘Who, Ozzy?’
‘Well, who else, you twonk!’
He shrugged, and hugged her even tighter, laughing at her as she knew he would.
‘I told you, he’s . . . different. He’s sort of very much his own person, and when you are in his company you know he is someone of repute, someone important.’
Maggie could hear the pride in her husband’s voice and she thought it was probably this self-effacing way he had that made Ozzy think so much of him.
‘He sees you like I do, Jimmy, as a handsome, clever and kind man.’
Jimmy laughed. ‘I think he sees a different side to me actually, but I will take your word for it.’
They laughed together. The hard-nosed Jimmy she rarely saw, and she was glad of that. But she knew it existed, and she had heard about his escapades, knew he was capable of violence if necessary. She knew he would use his considerable strength but only when all else failed. He was not a vindictive man, and she was lucky in that respect. But he was a serious Face in their community and she must bask in his reflected glory whether she wanted to or not. Jimmy had taken out enemies on more than one occasion, she accepted that. But he had to do it, that was what Ozzy expected from him and what he paid him for.
Brought up as she had been on the periphery of that world, she understood it was nothing more than a means to an end. It paid for their life, made sure they were taken care of. It was, after all, his chosen profession and his prerogative.
When he came home, though, he was just Jimmy, her Jimmy, and he was a husband and father. And she loved this man so deeply, nothing could change her feelings for him, no matter what he did.
He was also popular, not just with their close friends, but with everyone they mixed with, except, of course, Freddie. She forced Freddie from her mind, he had no place here, not any longer. He had spent too much time like a spectre between them. She would not allow him to hurt her or her family ever again.
It had taken her far too long to realise that her mother’s old saying was true: ‘People only do to you what you let them.’ How many times had she heard that over the years?
As long as she let Freddie dictate her happiness, she was never going to experience any. Now she had fronted him, made him frightened of the truth coming out, and she felt almost euphoric in her happiness.
Jimmy Junior was, when all was said and done, her child. Hers, and her Jimmy’s. They adored him, and no matter what anyone said, or anyone did, they could not take that away from them.
She glanced at the clock and saw it was eight thirty. They had slept in for the first time in years, and she had enjoyed it as well. She missed her baby, though. He had taken to coming in to them first thing and getting a few cuddles before they all got up and ate breakfast together.
It seemed strange without him, but she yawned happily. She had better get her arse in gear and go and pick him up. But Jimmy’s hand on her breast told her that she might be longer than she had first thought.
‘You what?’
Rox sighed, and said again, ‘I am pregnant, Mum.’
Jackie was bleary-eyed as usual, and Rox wondered why she had come round to this house on her way to work when the woman she called her mother didn’t even function until after three o’clock.
‘The wedding is being brought forward, that is what I am trying to tell you.’
Jackie yawned and searched through the legion of empty fag packets on the kitchen worktops until she found a cigarette. Lighting one she said sarcastically, ‘Oh, well. I’ll sleep better for knowing that, Rox.’
Roxanna closed her eyes in annoyance. No congratulations, nothing.
Freddie padded down the stairs and Roxanna smiled at him. It was a forced smile as always and he said tiredly, ‘So, Dicky boy has been rogering my baby, eh?’
Rox was hurt by her father’s words. And her own mother had no interest in what was going on in her life, but then, when had she ever been interested in anything other than drinking and this big twit who was allegedly her father?
‘So, and?’
Freddie took the cigarette from his wife and pulled on it deeply before saying, ‘Always got a fucking answer, ain’t you? Suppose I decide to take umbrage, eh? Give him a fucking kicking, what would you do then?’
Rox shook her head sadly and he was reminded of just how good looking his daughter was. She was so like Maggie, thank fuck, and not the fat whore who was now eating a slice of day-old pizza. In his own way he was proud of his Rox. Considering the way she had been dragged up she was a fucking diamond, really.
‘Here, Fred, I just realised you’ll be a fucking granddad!’
Jackie’s laughter turned to a hacking cough and she spat into the sink. The scene made Rox, with her morning sickness, feel like heaving.
She flapped her hand at her mother. ‘You are like a fucking animal, Mum.’
‘Yeah, look around you, Rox, you were all dragged up in her den of shit!’ Freddie was laug
hing now, but he shocked them as he hugged his daughter briefly, pleased she was going to have a child, pleased that she had turned out so well. Suddenly that was important to him.
He was proud of her. People talked about her in glowing terms, and he was impressed that she had made such a success of her young life. Considering how she had been brought up it was amazing she wasn’t on to her second or even third baby by now, he knew a lot of her mates were. He should know, he had fucked half of them.
She could do a lot worse than young Dicky and all. The boy always gave him his due and was respectful and polite. But if he ever mugged her off he would put the little fucker in his place, no danger.
Freddie went into the lounge and, picking up his coat, he took out a wad of money and peeled off five hundred pounds. He walked back to the kitchen and said almost shyly, ‘Open an account up for it, babe, so it’ll have a start in life. That is what Mags and Jimmy did and that kid’s worth a fucking fortune now.’
Jackie and Roxanna looked at the man who had been the thorn in their sides for so long that they had forgotten how to like him, and their mouths were open and their eyes were round.
Rox saw the confusion in his eyes, and she knew it was mirrored in her own. Of all the things she had expected this morning, this was not one of them.
‘Fucking hell, thanks, Dad.’
She was on the verge of tears, and for the first time in years Freddie understood what a small act of kindness could accomplish.
Rox hugged him back then, and he smelled the cleanliness of her, smelled her happiness and he also felt the love of a child he had never really taken any notice of.
She was a good girl, his Roxanna. He suddenly knew that they were all good girls really. Even his Kimberley, and especially his Dianna.
Why did he never appreciate that fact before?
‘He must still be dead to the world, him, it’s nearly nine o’clock!’
Joe’s voice was high and Lena grinned. Joe loved that little child and she knew the feeling was reciprocated, since Jimmy Junior would listen to his old crap for hours.