by Martina Cole
‘Was little Jimmy Freddie’s son? I need to know.’
Jackie sounded so self-righteous and so fucking banal all at the same time, it was better than a play as far as Maggie was concerned. This woman had always been an innate coward, and this was being proved to her once again. Jackie only kicked off when she knew that the fight she had caused would be stopped.
Maggie laughed, but it sounded forced and it also made her sound like a woman who had had enough, enough of life, enough of the world and enough of the woman in front of her.
‘If you really thought that there was anything remotely true in what you are saying, me and you would be rolling around the floor fighting now, Jack, and you know it.’
‘Too fucking right.’
‘But we ain’t, are we, Jackie?’
The sarcasm was evident and Jackie Jackson had to acknowledge that her little sister was a force in her own right.
‘There’s still plenty of time for that, lady.’ She pointed a grubby finger at her sister as she said loudly and in a voice full of her own self-pity, ‘You always had your eye on my fucking Freddie, you always got what you wanted out of life. I was never good enough for Mum and Dad, it was always you! Now, the one thing I have and you fucking think you can take it!’
‘What are you on about, Mum? Maggie is the best thing that ever happened to you, or us!’ Dianna realised immediately she should have kept this gem of wisdom to herself, and Kimberley pushed Roxanne out of her way as she went to her mother and said angrily, ‘I was winding you up, Mum, please listen to me.’
Jackie wanted to take the exit and leave the madness of her world, but she couldn’t. This would eat at her now and she knew she had to sort it out today once and for all, no matter what the cost.
‘Either go home and sober up, Jackie, or talk to me properly, OK?’
There was a steely quality to her sister’s voice that Jackie had never heard before. In fact, she would go as far as to say that it was distinctly disrespectful.
‘I will break your fucking neck, you cunt!’
Maggie sighed once more. ‘Is that really the best you can do, Jack? Call me names, call me a cunt, the one word that I hate more than any other? I just realised, Sis, it sums you up lovely, doesn’t it? I lost my child and you think you can come round here shouting the odds, because you think I wanted the piece of shit you married. You had better sort yourself out, mate. Listen to yourself now and again, you selfish, drunken fat bitch!’
Maggie waved her hand at Jackie like she was nothing and turned to the girls, who were huddled together in various stages of shock.
‘Take her home, for fuck’s sake. Get her out of my sight!’
The animosity was almost tangible between the two women now.
‘I’ll fucking kill you, Maggie Jackson. You’ll fucking regret taking the piss out of me, lady.’
Maggie turned back towards her sister. She spoke quietly, and with menace, enunciating every word slowly and clearly, her own well-manicured finger poking her sister in the face.
‘You lay one hand on me, Jack, and I will wrap you around this house. I am capable of it and all, mate. You don’t scare me any more, you haven’t scared me since I was at school. You are a big, fat, bloated, mouthy, fucking no neck, and that is your problem. You know that better than anyone else does and that knowledge kills you.’
Maggie was shaking her head in disappointed anger. ‘I buried my baby and you would still bring this shit to my door? If there’s any killing to be done this day, it will be done by me, get it? And you remember that if you bring this little soiree into my Jimmy’s world, Freddie and you will both be finished, and I will see to that personally. You are not welcome here, Jackie. I have carried you for years and I don’t fucking need this crap in my life any more. Now fuck off home before I really lose my rag.’
Chapter Twenty-Nine
‘Please tell me what the fuck is really going on, Jimmy. Me nerves are nearly busted with all this.’ Glenford was laughing as he spoke but Jimmy knew he meant it seriously.
‘I told you, I ain’t carrying him no more. I have had enough of him. Not before time, is it? Anyone else would have aimed him out the door years ago. But he was family, and I swallowed because of that. End of story.’
‘Beginning of the story, more like.’
Jimmy shrugged, and Glenford knew that he would not get any more from him. Instead, he asked, ‘Is he still on a promise?’
‘From what I gather, yeah.’ Jimmy grinned now. ‘Freddie and his skirt, eh? I remember when he was released and he was clocking anything with a pulse.’
Glenford laughed loudly now, his new gold teeth glinting in the weak afternoon sun. ‘It his hobby. Strange is what keeps the man alive.’ Then he sat down on the comfortable leather sofa in Jimmy’s office and said seriously, ‘What is this about, man? I can feel your anger, feel your body rhythms are all out of sync. I just want to help you, man, you are me best friend and you know that. I think there’s a good chance that I am yours as well, you know.’
Jimmy nodded in acknowledgement.
Glenford was shaking his heavy dreads in consternation now, and, picking up half a joint from the heavy white soapstone ashtray in front of him, he relit it. Puffing on it heavily he said, ‘Since Jimmy Junior, you ain’t been right, you specially ain’t been right with Freddie. It’s almost like you blaming him.’
Jimmy loved this man like a brother, and he wasn’t surprised that he had worked out the cause of his problems so easily, but he could not say out loud what was still careering around his head every second of every day.
Freddie’s son had killed his baby, his boy, his life’s blood.
Freddie was on the laughing gear. The girl had provided a decent bit of sniff and, mixed with the whisky and Freddie’s bad humour, he was now rocking.
Melanie thought she was the height of sophistication, she sniffed as loud as possible and with dramatic hand gestures so that everyone around her would know she had taken cocaine.
Freddie didn’t have the heart to tell her that it was cut so badly, if it was a geezer it would have a face full of Mars Bars. He had scored some decent shit for himself off a mate that lunchtime, and he had just slipped it to Melanie who was now about to fly higher than the Hubble spacecraft.
Her eyes were already glittering and, he had to admit, coked-out birds before they hit the deck had a certain charm about them. This little bird really believed she knew her gear, knew a snort and knew a puff.
What an embarrassment she really was. A fucking babe in arms to him, and that was just how he liked them.
In a few minutes she would start to talk the hind leg off a table. He would find out all her business, and Freddie was looking forward to that. She was a lamb, and lambs like this one needed slaughtering badly. This was going to be a life lesson for her. He only hoped she realised how lucky she was that he was taking such an interest in her, even if it was mainly to kill a few hours and see if Jimmy came to him for a change.
He forced another drink on her and she gulped at it, as he knew she would, because her mouth was now drier than a nun’s tits, and the whole bottom of her face had gone numb. As she leaned forward he saw she was about to stumble and he grabbed her in his arms, in a tight bear hug that made her feel cared for, made her feel safe.
‘Steady on, girl, you sure you’re all right?’
He was jovial, he was on his best behaviour, and he was also copping a feel of her very adventurous-looking Bristols. He guessed from her smile that they had been handled more times than a footballer’s dick but he didn’t care about that. He fancied a bit of soft, and big bouncy ones were always good for a bit of soft.
Judging by her belly, which she was now forgetting to hold in, she usually drank lager.
Well, she was in for an education today, and he was just in the mood to start educating her.
Paul was worried about the condition of his wife’s niece and knew without a doubt that he was going to get the blame for it. ‘Lea
ve her alone, Freddie. Come on, Mel love. Go on up to Liselle.’
Melanie pushed her long straggly blond hair out of her face and said belligerently, ‘Piss off, Paul, I am over eighteen, you know.’
Her hostility was rubbing off on Freddie now as he watched the little scene unfolding before his eyes. ‘What the fuck’s it got to do with you anyway, Paul?’
Paul shrugged. ‘It’s Liselle’s niece.’
Freddie bellowed at the poor girl, ‘Are you? Really?’
She nodded and they both started to laugh.
Paul knew when he was beaten but he tried once more, knowing Liselle would get a blow-by-blow account off the regular punters. ‘Come on, you’re off your nut. Let me take you up to Liselle, eh?’
Freddie pushed Paul’s arms away from the girl, nearly knocking her over in the process.
‘Fuck off, you prick, she is all right with me.’
Paul sighed. ‘Come on, Freddie, how would you feel if it was one of your girls? Liselle will do her crust, and you know it.’
He was the voice of reason, the nice bloke. None of which cut any ice with Freddie Jackson, who only saw his afternoon’s shag disappearing before his eyes. ‘Fuck off, Paul, and I mean it.’
The menace was evident, as was the way he suddenly straightened up, pulled back his shoulders and bared his teeth, making him look almost feral.
‘Why don’t you go and ring Ozzy, or even Jimmy, his chief arsehole licker, and grass me up, tell them what I’ve been doing all day, eh? You fucking snotbag . . . Tell them, right, that I think they are a pair of cunts. Go on -’ he was laughing now at his own words - ‘tell them that. Go on, I dare you.’
Everyone in the pub had gone quiet as he shouted out his insults and Paul knew his ravings were going to be all over the place within hours. Freddie should have known better than to let his mouth run away with him like that. It wasn’t the first time it had happened, though, lately it had been a frequent event. He was more annoyed that Freddie was mouthing off like that to impress a little girl who was destined for everything their world had to offer, except of course greatness.
Melanie was her mother’s daughter, and he gave her three years before she really was old before her time. Paul could have launched his wife’s niece out of the door and through Barking Park. Instead, he shook his head sadly and watched the girl as her screeching laugh became a very deep and very nasty smoker’s cough.
She was eighteen and three months and she was listening to Freddie Jackson as if he was the oracle and looking at him as if he was something the cat had dragged in just for her.
Well, fuck her now, let her make her own mistakes. He had just about had enough. If Liselle stayed upstairs he was safe enough. If not, she could sort this lot out herself.
Jackie was alone in her house and as usual she was drinking vodka mixed with wine. She had been so sure that she was going to lay Maggie out once and for all, but she had ended up leaving with her daughters and her shame at her predicament was growing by the second.
Her daughters should have seen her confront and conquer the woman who had accused their father of rape, yet she knew they believed it of him. Her own kids thought that little of their father, and she knew they thought even less of her.
It was this that was troubling her so much. In a few hours her whole world had come crashing down around her ears and she knew that there would never be any going back now. Her mother and father would be in bits about it, especially after the kid dying. He was the kid now, because she knew in her heart that Freddie was his father. Freddie had fathered that little boy.
If Maggie told Jimmy what she had said there would be murders. Maggie had denied it all but she had known her sister was lying through her teeth. Maggie was trying to save her, trying to save the family and on one level she understood that. But looking at Maggie today, with her perfect hair and her perfect home, the usual jealous animosity was to the fore.
Even with the grief she knew her sister was having to cope with, Jackie still found it hard to feel any pity for her. In fact she felt that Maggie had all the luck, even her bloody kid had died and she was once more a free agent.
What she wouldn’t have given to have offloaded hers over the years. Especially the girls, who had driven her mad with their backchat and their constant sniping at her.
She picked up the bottle of vodka and saw that she had downed over two thirds of it, and she wasn’t even starting to feel drunk. It took longer and longer now, she was just topping up. She was half pissed all day every day. But instead of her usual happy feeling she was experiencing an incredible anger. It was bubbling away and the more she thought of how she had humiliated herself at Maggie’s, the more she felt she should do something, something spectacular, to make amends.
Rape! She was having a laugh if she thought that old flannel would wash. The hate was inside her once more. She could never allow herself to believe that her husband had done something so monstrous. It was, she decided, the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard of, and she was not going to let that fucking skank get away with the accusation.
She swallowed down the rest of her drink and poured herself out another, larger glass. She was feeling in the mood for revenge now and she had a good idea how she was going to achieve it.
Jimmy needed a rocket up his arse and she was going to see that he got just that. She would make Maggie think twice before she threw around those kind of allegations.
She was almost out of control now, she knew the signs, and she knew she was on the verge of losing the little bit of rationality she possessed.
Everyone was the enemy now, including her slag of a husband, and especially that skinny bitch who had the nerve to call herself a sister.
Paul was on the phone to Jimmy. ‘He is cunting you up hill and down dale. Everyone is blanking him as best they can, but you have to come and get shot for me, Jim. He is fucking out of order.’
‘Start clearing the pub, Paul, on the quiet, OK?’
Paul sighed and whispered angrily, ‘I have had enough of him. Liselle is like the fucking anti-Christ, walking round with a face like a fucking Rottweiler chewing on a hornet’s nest, and blaming me for her niece being out of her fucking box. And to add insult to injury, he is accusing me and you of being arse lickers for Oz. Who will not be in the least impressed when he hears about this lot.’
Paul sounded worried. Freddie was not a man anyone would take on lightly, and Paul, even though he had his shotgun, would much rather leave the man’s removal to Jimmy Jackson.
Jimmy sighed. ‘You’re like a fucking old woman, Paul. Get a fucking grip, you nonce. Just do what I say and clear the pub. Leave everything else to me. I want a car and I want peace and quiet, do you get my drift?’
Paul didn’t answer and Jimmy knew then that he was finally taking the seriousness of the situation on board.
‘When I arrive, I want you to fuck off, and I don’t want to see you until the morning, all right?’
Paul was nodding in complete and utter consternation. ‘OK.’ Only that morning he had said there would be murders. He had not, however, meant it literally.
Freddie was calling out to him from the bar, ‘Phoning your boyfriend? Tell him I am ready when he is.’
Melanie was laughing her head off and this alone was annoying Paul. He knew Jimmy could hear it all as well. He felt like a kid who had been caught out grassing, but then again, he knew that was how Freddie wanted him to feel.
‘Ignore him, Paul. Just get yourself out of there, OK.’
The line went dead then and Paul stared at the phone as if he had never seen it before. As he replaced the receiver, he saw his wife standing at the top of the stairs. The fear on her face was evident as he said quietly, ‘Pack a bag, we are out of here.’
‘What about Melanie?’
Paul shrugged in exaggerated boredom. ‘What about her?’
Maggie was alone, and as always since her baby had died she let the quiet envelop her. She liked being on her own.
It gave her a feeling of security because she could still pretend that he was alive, that he was going to walk through the door laughing with his daddy. Only poor Jimmy walked in by himself and the bubble burst and she became more aloof than ever.
All that wasted time, all those years when she had not been able to even touch the child without a feeling of revulsion. Freddie taunting her with his eyes and with his smiles, how had she lived through that?
She wondered at times how she had coped with it all. Now she would put up with anything to have him back beside her, no matter how much his presence might hurt her.
And Jackie - the balloon would be going up soon there. She knew her sister too well. Now she had this big black secret that she could use as a big stick, and Jackie would take great pleasure in beating her with it.
Maggie hated her at times, and she never wanted to see her again, but it was still second nature to her to try and protect the woman who would happily destroy her and her life.
She waited patiently for her husband to return.
‘This is between me and Freddie.’
Glenford sighed, much like Paul had a few minutes earlier. ‘Let me come with you, eh?’
Jimmy shook his head. ‘Nah, I have a lot of sorting out to do. You get yourself off home, mate. You’ve been stuck to me like shit to a blanket all day.’
‘Is this as serious as it feels, Jimmy?’ Glenford’s voice was soft. He had a deep brown voice and it was a kind voice, unless the person he was addressing had upset him in some way. Then his voice sounded deadly, and the listener was aware that their days were liable to be numbered unless they did exactly what he was asking of them.
It was this determination, which Jimmy also had in abundance, that had made them such good friends.
