“You must have had a dream or a hallucination,” he said harshly. “That’s all it was.”
“John—”
“Don’t,” he said and turned his head away.
I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling. I wanted more than anything to help Shani move on, but Devlin wasn’t ready to hear the truth. He wasn’t ready to let her go. Maybe he never would be.
* * *
The room was very dark when I awakened. Devlin was still stretched out on top of the covers, and I lay curled against him. I wanted to remain there beside him forever, but I could still taste the bitterness of Darius’s drug, so I got up and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I came back into the bedroom, I felt the cold at once. Moonlight spilled in through the windows, and I could see Devlin clearly in that pale light. A ghostly shimmer hovered over him. Just like Shani, Mariama had found a way to breach my sanctuary, even though she hadn’t fully come through.
I must have made some involuntary sound because her gaze shot across the room and her rage at the sight of me gave her the burst of energy she needed to manifest.
She turned quickly back to Devlin and bent over him, pressing her cold lips to his.
So great was my terror, I stood frozen as she began to drain his life force. I had the notion that she also fed on my fear, so I took a deep breath, using every ounce of my willpower to suppress my emotions.
To my surprise, she instantly faded. Was it really that easy to be rid of her? Or had I only imagined her manifestation?
I went to Devlin then and pressed a hand to his chest, feeling the beat of his heart against my palm. He bolted upright in bed and grabbed me roughly, staring down at me with unseeing eyes. I wondered if he might still be in the throes of sleep. Or if Mariama might still be in his head.
“It’s all right. It’s me. Amelia.”
He put his hand over mine, but I couldn’t tell if he meant to shove me away or pull me to him.
“John?”
His unblinking focus chilled me as his eyes burned into mine. Slowly he entwined our fingers as he curled my arm behind my back. Then he slid his free hand over my breasts, down my stomach, between my thighs, and I drew a sharp breath. He held me lightly. I could easily have slipped from his grasp, but I didn’t want to. If Mariama still lurked, a perverse part of me wanted her to see how much Devlin desired me.
When he stood to remove his clothing, I rose, too, slipping his shirt off his shoulders and unbuckling his belt. Where normally I would have felt unsure of myself, I was now emboldened, and something Darius had said in my dream came back to me. You have so much untapped power and you have no idea how to use it.
Devlin and I were both naked now, standing face to face in the moonlight. He touched my hair, letting the strands slide through his fingers before cupping my neck and drawing me to him. We kissed for a very long time. The build-up was unbearable. I trembled all over, and yet I had never felt more in control. My hand found him, claimed him, and he groaned into my mouth.
“Don’t stop,” he whispered.
I had no intention of stopping. In fact, I was just getting started. I wasn’t exactly a novice in the bedroom, but neither was I an expert. And yet, I knew exactly how to pleasure him. The flick of my tongue, the whisper of my lips, and he was mine.
I could have sworn I felt the frost of Mariama’s breath on my neck, the chill of her touch against my hand, guiding me, as I slid to my knees before him. But when I glanced over my shoulder, it wasn’t her ghostly face I saw in the mirror. It was my own. Eyes gleaming, lips curled in a secret smile.
“Yes, look at yourself,” Devlin murmured, his gaze meeting mine in the mirror. “Look at what you’re doing to me.”
I rose slowly, sliding up his body, draping my arms around his neck, pulling his mouth down to mine.
He drew back, searching my face. “You’re different tonight.”
“Am I?”
“You’re glowing. It’s like you’ve tapped into something that’s been hidden inside you.”
“Or maybe I’m just…”
“What?”
In love.
But I didn’t have the courage to utter the words aloud. “Maybe I just want you,” I said.
His eyes flared. “Come here, then.”
The windows had fogged, cocooning us in hazy moonlight. If ghosts looked in on us, I didn’t see them. My focus had narrowed to Devlin and to the quivering heat that welled inside me.
We lay down on the bed and I rose over him. He grasped my hips to bring us together, and we began to move slowly as we found our rhythm.
Rising and falling like the tide of an ocean, I leaned forward to kiss him. His tongue met mine eagerly as he sat up and wrapped my legs around him. The shift created a new friction, a new pressure and I gasped as the first ripple of release caught me by surprise.
And then a wave swept me up and over, and I heard Devlin drawl my name as I closed my eyes and clung to him.
* * *
I woke up in an empty bed and went in search of Devlin. He was sitting on the terrace in the moonlight, eyes fixated on the swing as it moved slowly back and forth. He almost seemed mesmerized by the movement. I watched, too, captivated by the sway of Shani’s hair and the billow of her little blue dress as she pumped her legs.
Devlin didn’t look at me when I sat down beside him. His eyes remained on that swing.
“How long have you been out here?” I asked.
He didn’t answer.
“Are you okay?”
“There’s no wind.” He turned to me, then, and my heart quickened at the look on his face. “There’s no wind.”
“I know.”
“Then tell me how,” he said in a hushed voice.
I reached over and took his hand, almost expecting him to pull away, but instead he clung to me. His skin was very cold. He’d been out in the night air for a long time.
“You know how,” I said softly. “You’ve felt those strange drafts in your house.”
He frowned. “It’s an old house.”
“You’ve felt the cold spots. You’ve probably experienced electrical fluctuations. Inexplicable sounds and scents.”
“It’s not possible!” I understood his anger. I was forcing him to confront something he’d wanted desperately to keep buried.
“They’re still here, John.”
He closed his eyes on a shudder.
“Shani’s in the swing. But you know that, don’t you? She’s wearing a little blue dress with a ribbon in her hair.”
Devlin stared at me in horror. “She was buried in a blue dress. How could you possibly have known that?”
“I can see her. I can see ghosts. I inherited the ability from my papa. Since the first night I met you on the Battery, Shani has been at your side. She’s been trying to tell you something, but you can’t hear her. You can’t see her.”
“God.” He put his hands to his face.
I swallowed hard past the lump in my throat. “Your guilt and grief have kept her earthbound, but it’s time for her to move on. You have to let her go.” I saw the sparkle of Shani’s ring in the grass, the same one I’d placed earlier on her grave. She must have left it there for me to find because she knew her father would need proof. I plucked it from the grass and placed it in his palm. “Is this not her ring?”
He stared down at the glittering garnet, then curled his fingers around it. “Where did you get this?”
“She brought it to me. It’s her way of communicating with me.”
He drew a ragged breath. “I gave her this ring for her birthday. It was on her finger when—”
“I know. But how else would I have come by it? Twice I’ve taken it to her grave and twice she’s brought it back to me.”
“It’s impossible,” he said again.
The motion of the swing stopped, and Shani was suddenly there at his side. She placed a ghostly hand on his cheek.
“You can feel her, can’t you? Concentrate.”
His e
yes closed again and he lifted a hand to his face.
“Your fingers are touching her hand.”
His stoicism cracked then, and I heard an awful sound in his throat. “Shani…”
“She’s here, John. She’s always been here.”
Like a drowning man, he gulped in air. “I smell jasmine.”
“Yes. That’s her.”
Shani knelt and laid her head on John’s knee. His hand went automatically to his leg.
“What happened to her wasn’t your fault,” I said. “She wants you to know that.” Now was not the time to tell him what Mariama had done. His moment with Shani was too precious.
“I should have protected her.” The torment in his voice broke my heart. “I should have been there to save her.”
“It’s time to let go of the guilt. You have to let it go so that she can move on. But a part of her will always be here with you. She’ll always have a special place in your heart. She needs to know that you’ll be okay without her. She needs to know that it’s okay for her to go.”
He opened his hand, and Shani reached for the ring. The garnet sparked in the moonlight as she slipped it on her tiny finger. Devlin watched in wonder and amazement. He couldn’t see her, of course. But he could see the ring float up from his palm.
“Shani,” he whispered.
She took his hand and then reached for mine. I couldn’t help shivering at her icy touch.
“I’m scared,” she said.
“What are you afraid of?” I asked her.
“The bad man won’t let me go. He won’t let me leave the dark place. Will you help me?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Promise?”
“Yes, I promise.”
* * *
I left Devlin on the terrace. He needed to be alone and I needed to figure out how to find Shani. Darius had said that in order to help her, I’d have to cross over.
But how did I know that wasn’t another one of his tricks?
I went into the bathroom and searched through the pockets of my discarded jeans until I found the vial of gray dust. I had only dreamed about it, so Darius must have physically slipped it into my pocket at some point. I wasn’t surprised to find it there. He’d given it to me for a reason, after all. And when I crossed over, he’d be waiting for me on the other side.
I carried the vial back out to the kitchen, and as I stared at the shimmering dust, Devlin’s warning ran through my head. It stops the heart and people die.
But how else could I pass through the veil with even a glimmer of hope of coming back? How else could I get to Shani?
Sprinkling a bit on the back of my hand, I lifted it to my nose. There was a slight scent, but nothing unpleasant. Before I could change my mind, I inhaled the dust.
At first, I didn’t think anything was happening. No slowing of the vitals, no lethargy. Thankfully I had the presence of mind to lower myself to the floor a split second before a brilliant white light exploded inside my brain.
* * *
I heard a whirring in my ears, felt a deep vibration in my chest and then I opened my eyes slowly as if swimming up from a very sound sleep. I didn’t know where I was at first, but I experienced a strange familiarity as I gazed around. The air and sky were the color of twilight, and I could see the swirl of mist in the distance. Before me a lichgate opened into a great cemetery. I could see rows and rows of statues and monuments, but then I realized they weren’t statues at all, but silhouettes of the dead. I was in the Gray, that nebulous space in between the Light and the Dark.
Darius Goodwine appeared at my side and waved an arm toward the cemetery. “To pass through the gate into the realm of the dead, you must have a guide,” he said.
I didn’t trust him to guide me anywhere. He wanted something from me, but at the moment, my main concern was finding Shani.
“You know why I’m here,” I said. “Where is she?”
He started walking toward the cemetery. “In here,” he said and disappeared through the gate.
I followed him into an even grayer world where legions of the dead watched me through frosted eyes. I saw many ghosts from my distant and recent past. A long line of Ashers. My birth mother, Freya. Papa’s people were here, too. I wanted to converse with all of my dead ancestors, but Essie’s warning rang in my ears. Mind the time.
As I neared the back of the cemetery, the gray darkened to midnight and a great forest loomed before me.
“You’ll find her in there,” Darius said.
“How do you know?”
“Listen.”
We both fell silent and I heard the faint strains of a nursery rhyme. Shani was leading me to her.
I turned back to Darius. “Are you coming with me?”
“This is the end of our journey together,” he said. “You’ll need to go the rest of the way alone.”
“Why?”
He merely smiled and faded back into the mist.
I started toward the forest, but a woman appeared on the path in front of me. She seemed familiar and I thought she must be another dead ancestor. She didn’t look old, but her hair was as white as cotton and she had no eyes.
I stared into those gaping sockets and shuddered. “Who are you?”
“My name is Amelia Gray,” she said.
I gasped. “That can’t be. I’m Amelia Gray.”
“What you are, I once was,” she said. “What I am, you will someday become.”
Her eerie prophecy left me trembling. “I need to find a child. Her name is Shani. Have you seen her? I think she may be hiding in these woods.”
“Don’t go into the Dark,” she warned. “You’ll never find your way out in time. That’s what he wants.”
“Who?”
“The tall man,” she said. “He means you harm. He and the woman. She seeks to remain in the living world, and you are her vessel.”
Dr. Shaw’s description of gray dust came back to me then. After a certain amount of time passes, the physical body can’t be resuscitated. The shell withers and dies or, in some cases, is invaded by another spirit.”
Was that why I’d been lured through the veil? So that Mariama’s ghost could invade my body?
“Go back,” the woman warned.
“I can’t. Not until I help the child move on—”
“Shush.” She cocked her head. “Do you hear it?”
I turned my head to listen. Nothing came to me but a faint buzzing that sounded like a hive of bees.
“They’re swarming,” she said.
“Bees?”
“The ghosts,” she said, and vanished.
* * *
Despite her warning, I left the Gray and moved into the woods. Into the Dark. From my periphery, I caught the dart of shadows as I walked along, the slither of some otherworldly creature in the underbrush. On and on I trudged until I was so deeply inside the forest I worried the sightless woman would be proven right. I might not find my way out in time. Already I could feel the tug of my physical body, but I ignored the pull and kept going. I could no longer hear the chanting, and I wondered if I’d been deliberately led away from Shani.
I called her name and suddenly I caught a glimpse of her through the trees,
“Come find me, Amelia!”
“I’m trying! Where are you?”
“Over here!”
I hurried toward the sound of her voice. She waited for me in a clearing, but she wasn’t alone. A tall silhouette loomed over her. A black cloak hid the face, but the hand that snared Shani’s wrist had the curved nails of a claw.
“Let her go,” I said.
“It’s too late,” the thing taunted. “You’re out of time.”
He drew Shani into the trees, and I went after them, battling terror and the tug of my earthly body. We came to another clearing lit with torches. I somehow knew that this place was neither heaven nor hell. We were not in the Light or the Dark, but a realm of my own making. And if I had created this world, then I could control it.
“Come to me, Shani.”
The creature clung to her and she whimpered.
I knelt and put out my hand to her. “I know what you’ve been trying to tell your father. I know what really happened that day, what your mother did to you, but she can’t hurt you now. I won’t let her. Please come with me.”
She reached for me, and as our fingertips touched, the creature dissolved into black mist.
I picked her up and held her for the longest time.
“I’m taking you someplace safe,” I murmured. “Someplace beautiful.”
The scent of jasmine drifted to us as we emerged from the woods. The perfume led us to a garden where Robert Fremont waited for us.
“Why are you here?” I asked him. “You can’t move on. We haven’t yet found your killer.”
He gazed down at Shani. “It doesn’t matter. It never mattered.”
And suddenly I understood. “Because that wasn’t why you were earthbound. You were waiting for her.”
“I didn’t know,” he said in wonder. “I never knew until now.”
I thought of those autopsy reports in my car. The blood types that would have told me the truth if I had been paying attention to the signs. Shani was Robert Fremont’s daughter.
Devlin, I thought. My poor Devlin. He would never know the truth from me. Mariama had taken Shani from him once. I would not be responsible for taking her from him again.
The sun rose over the garden wall. So dazzling I couldn’t stand to look into the light. But Shani and Robert were already walking toward the garden gate. The child hesitated and glanced back. Robert had already disappeared, but she hovered just inside the gate, a fingertip to her lips.
I felt a presence and turned.
Devlin stood behind me.
I said in shock. “You can’t be here. Unless you’re…”
He looked at me sadly.
“But you can’t be,” I whispered. “I won’t let you be.”
“You have to go back,” he said. “You’re almost out of time.”
“I don’t want to go back. Not without you. Please come with me.”
“I can’t.”
His gaze went past me to the gate where Shani still waited.
Chapter Forty
I felt a jolt, like a shot of pure adrenaline, and I opened my eyes on a gasp. I could have sworn I saw Mariama hovering over me, but she was too late. I was back inside my own body, lying on my own kitchen floor. Devlin was prone beside me. He looked very pale, very dead.
The Prophet Page 27
