by Ann, Natalie
He pulled into the parking lot at the mall. It was not what he would have preferred for a date, but he wasn’t going to say no. Not when Paige said she’d originally had plans to get some Christmas shopping done.
The mall wasn’t packed, but it wasn’t slow either. It’d only opened an hour ago at eleven but plenty were coming out now.
He was walking to the door when he heard his name and turned. There was Paige running toward him with a big smile on her face.
“I thought I was late,” he said. “I got held up working on a grant this morning and lost track of time.” He detested writing grants or finding grants, anything that had to do with funding or money or budgets for his school.
“I’ve been here an hour already shopping. I just dropped my first load of stuff in the car.”
He held the door for her and they went in and toward the restaurant she’d suggested via text last night. “You’re way ahead of me. I haven’t even started shopping yet.”
“I have to start early or I’ll never get it done. It’s bad enough I’m going to have to make Sebastian go hide in his room while I bring these in. Then I’ve got to wrap them or he’ll snoop. There just aren’t that many places for me to put things in the apartment.”
“You don’t even have Christmas decorations up yet. There were flowers by your front door.”
She started to laugh. “Those are fake. If I got real ones they’d die. Sebastian reminded me when I was leaving that I needed to get some more decorations. He said he was removing the flowers from the front too. I’ll find something else to put there. I hate the apartment living and try to make it a little homier.”
“I need to get some more decorations myself. I haven’t been in my house long. Just a few years and I don’t do much around the holidays. I guess it’s not much fun when it’s just one person.”
“I always decorated even when I was alone. Not a lot, but a few things. My mother never did anything and my father worked all the time. When she left, Cora and I talked him into taking us shopping to get a few things. Just enough to feel like a holiday.”
He wasn’t sure what to say to that. It sounded like she hadn’t had that great of a childhood herself.
They stopped at the entrance to the restaurant. The hostess came over and handed them menus and told them to follow her.
When they were both seated he said, “I’m almost embarrassed to say my house growing up was like the elves got drunk and threw a party each year. My mother used to take us shopping as kids to pick things out as part of our personal decorating touch. The pile just grew and grew and she’d let us go at it. It was always a contest to see who could do the most outrageous setup.”
“That’s awesome. I should do something like that for Sebastian. He’s got such an imagination I’m almost afraid of what he’d attempt. Who did the best work in your family?”
“My sister Jade’s was the nicest. Everything she touches has to be perfect. She never has a hair out of place. Jade’s twin, Wyatt, he’s the prankster of the family so his were always the funniest. Elf on the Shelf...yeah, I’d rather not say what he did all the time.”
“Kids aren’t supposed to know about the Elf,” she said, grinning.
“We were older and Wyatt is the one who wanted it. Trust me, some of the things he did I can’t say in polite company.”
“What did your mother think of it?”
He smiled thinking of how many times that Elf was in the bathroom leaving messes, violating the dolls on Jade’s shelves, even shredding someone’s homework assignments.
“Most of the time my parents laughed. Except when the Elf locked himself in their car with the key. Yeah, my father didn’t think that was so funny.”
“I hope there was another key in the house?” she asked.
“There was. But watching my father walking around the house for twenty minutes trying to find his keys and cursing and swearing he left them where he always did is a day I’ll never forget. I’m not sure how Wyatt kept a straight face during it.”
“Sounds like you’ve got some pretty awesome holiday memories.”
“I’ve got a lot of great memories in my family. I’m sorry you might not.” And when she took a deep breath he said, “I’m sorry. That was wrong of me to bring up.”
“No, it’s fine.”
The waitress came over and put down two glasses of water and asked if they were ready to order. Neither of them had even looked at the menu. He opened it up quickly and ordered the first burger he saw, Paige got a fish sandwich.
“Sorry, hope I didn’t rush you there?” he said.
“No problem. I’m not a fussy eater. Anyway, about my family, I should tell you some of it. At least so you have a better understanding of Sebastian. And speaking of my troublesome nephew, I want to apologize for this date.”
“Apologize?” he asked, wondering what he was missing. He thought they discussed this last night.
“I guess that’s not the right word. I should say I’m pretty embarrassed he did what he did. I hope you didn’t feel pressured to do this and if you did and still asked, that’s nice and kind of sweet, but I won’t hold you to another date.”
“What if I want another date?”
“We haven’t even gotten through this one. How could you know already?”
“I just do.”
* * *
Paige didn’t know what to make of the smile that Noah was sending her. All she knew was that she was going to be upfront and honest about what Sebastian did so Noah didn’t think she’d put him up to it.
“It wasn’t my idea,” she said.
“I get that. Especially by your red face talking about this.” He reached his hand over and laid it on hers. “Really, think nothing of it. I was hoping to get to this point after the first time I met you.”
She tilted her head. “So helping Sebastian was just a ruse?”
“No,” he said fast. “I do want to help him. I didn’t lie, I don’t lie. I see potential in him. I see a good kid that is shy when maybe he doesn’t want to be. I saw some of that come out in his personality yesterday and I’d like to see more of it in school.”
She wanted to believe him. He seemed sincere enough, but she supposed only time would tell. The fact that Sebastian liked Noah was actually a point in her favor when she’d always worried about bringing some guy home to introduce to him and what she’d do if they didn’t get along.
One bridge crossed. Not that she was looking to drive over many more.
Taking it slow, that was what was in her mind.
“Sebastian likes you and that is saying something. He doesn’t like a lot of men and it’s not like he hasn’t been exposed to them.”
“His father?” he asked.
“The guy took off when he found out Cora was pregnant. Cora is three years older than me. She’d always been a troublemaker and highly emotional. I’m glad that Sebastian isn’t anything like her.”
She was constantly on the lookout for it though since Cora didn’t start to act out until she was around fifteen. She’d always been wild, but never showed signs of being mentally unbalanced until later.
Not until she went to a party and got drunk. She’d said she was raped, she swore up and down, but the medical exam showed no signs of it. Nothing. Not so much as a scratch or bruise and then she changed her story. Everyone at the party vouched that she was never alone, and never seen with the boy she was accusing.
It was a messy few weeks that caused nothing but stress in the house and almost ruined the reputation of a good kid in the process.
The fact that it happened a month after her mother moved out made everyone think it was just Cora wanting attention.
From that point on, it never seemed to end. Little did anyone know what was happening until it was too late.
“You mentioned your father raised you?” he asked.
“My mother left when I was twelve, Cora fifteen. She’d never been much of a maternal person to begin with. My father
did everything in the house and he worked a ridiculous amount of hours. I think it was almost a relief when she left. At least the fighting finally stopped.”
Her father was upset over the split for a very short period of time. She suspected it had more to do with the fact he felt he failed them as a family than wishing his wife would stay.
“What does your father do?”
“He owns his own garage and tow truck business. He’s on call all the time and can be called out in the middle of the night. When everything happened with Cora, my father and I decided it was best for me to take Sebastian.”
Well, she decided and fought for it. Her father didn’t want her to have that burden, but she was damn well not thinking of it that way and she told him not to either.
“That makes sense. So Sebastian does have a male role model in his life.”
“I guess so. We don’t see my father often. He works a lot, I work, then life just gets in the way. He’s there if I need him for anything, but since we’ve moved here, it’s harder.”
“Morrisville isn’t that far away,” he pointed out.
“No. It sounds like an excuse but the truth is, I think we just want to move on as best as we can. There were plenty of men in Sebastian’s life that Cora brought around and none of them lasted long. Many were creeps and losers. Or at least from the things she’d told us.”
Someone was always doing something to Cora. Nothing could ever be proven though and the men got sick of it. Those that stuck around were just as messed up as her and only wanted to drink and do drugs to escape what they said was going on around them. Voices and events that never happened.
“She’s not in jail though,” he said.
“No. And this is where I tell you that my sister was diagnosed with schizophrenia. We had no idea until she murdered her boyfriend in cold blood. She insisted he was attacking her and that he repeatedly beat and raped her, but there was never any evidence of it. She’d show us bruises and Sebastian would tell her she fell when she was drunk, that he’d seen it.”
“That had to be horrible for him.”
“Nothing a ten-year-old—or any child—should witness. Anyway, enough of that. This is a mood killer and I’m sorry. I just wanted to say that Sebastian doesn’t like a lot of men, but he likes you, and even though I was embarrassed about the way things went down, I wanted to meet you to tell you that much.”
13
Help Others
When lunch was done, Noah decided to walk around the mall and help Paige shop. He had no intention of cutting this date short.
She’d told him more than he thought she would and his sympathy radar for Sebastian pinned to the right and threatened to break the glass. It was no surprise the kid was the way he was.
Yet when Noah saw him at the apartment yesterday, you’d never suspect that kind of trauma in the kid’s life. That meant Paige was doing something right though she’d said a few times she felt like she was a clown juggling bowling balls and they kept crushing her toes.
“So what have you gotten already?” he asked her.
“Not a lot. Before you showed up I picked up a few sweatshirts. Sebastian is kind of fussy about his clothes. He doesn’t like a lot of logos on things, he doesn’t want what everyone else has.”
“He’s not a follower. He’s a leader.”
She turned her head from the stack of jeans she was looking at. “I’m not sure about being a leader, but he is his own person.”
“Trust me, I’ve been told I was a leader my whole life by my mother. Everyone else said I was bossy.”
“There is always one in every group,” she said, bumping her shoulder against his. He liked that she wasn’t afraid to show a little affection in public.
He slipped his arm around her shoulder and said, “Drake, my twin, is the oldest by seven minutes. He’ll always have that title. Not to mention he’s so laid back and chill.”
“He’s probably that way because you’re bossy.”
He started to laugh. She had his number already. “He says that’s part of it. The other is Wyatt was a nuisance and Jade could be dramatic. He just let everything happen around him and went on with his own business.”
“I think I might like your brother. I try to do that. Everything with Cora was drama. Even before she started to behave that way as a teen she’d always have some story going on, something that upset her. It never ended. My father carries a huge amount of guilt for not knowing what was really happening. That he wasn’t home enough to see it.”
“What about your mother?” he asked.
“She was home all the time with us but never paid attention. She used to think Cora made things up to get attention. It was just another fight in the house. It sounds horrible to you, I’m sure.”
He wasn’t sure what to think. Mental illness was so hard to diagnose, especially in a household like what Paige was describing. “You can’t go back in time and change anything,” he said. “All you can do is move forward with that knowledge and hope to help others.”
“I’ve wanted to help or do something, but when I bring it up to Sebastian he gets upset. He doesn’t want to talk about it. I can only imagine what it was like in his house and he never says anything to me. He probably didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t for the longest time and it breaks my heart.”
He hugged her closer. “He seems to have a pretty firm grip on reality.”
“He’s so smart. So prolific. The things he writes and says.”
Interesting. None of his teachers had mentioned anything about that, but his highest grade was in English. He’d noticed himself that Sebastian had a quick wit to him and a fast mind. “He lets you read what he writes?”
“No,” she said, moving out from under his arm and grabbing a pair of jeans for the kid in question. “He writes in notebooks and they are in his room. I feel horrible snooping, but he doesn’t talk to me and sometimes I just want to have a better understanding of him. I always thought he wrote well, but he had this English teacher last year that emailed me and called a few times to say how advanced Sebastian was and that she’d love to see him explore it.”
He started to laugh. “Do you remember her name?”
“You know, I just remember Carolyn. The email said Carolyn F. on it. She probably said her name once but most of the teachers all blended together.”
“I’m willing to lay money on the fact that it was my mother.”
“What?” she asked, turning to him.
“My mother is an English teacher at the middle school. Carolyn Fierce. I’ve been told I take after her when it comes to helping kids.”
He wasn’t going to say his mother brought up Sebastian’s name before. It wasn’t anything negative, just that he was a smart kid trying to hide away. There was no harm in that.
“Talk about a small world,” she said, then went to the register to pay. When they were walking out of the store, she said, “If this is boring for you, you don’t have to stick around. I mean I’m not trying to push you away but I have to get a few more things.”
“It’s not boring. I’m checking things out and making a mental list of ideas for when I start shopping. I tend to order most things online. My brother Drake is the fashion one of us. Not as bad as Jade by any means. But me, I like my basic pants, sneakers, and shirt.”
“What do your siblings do?” she asked. “You never said.”
“Drake and Jade are both engineers and work for my father and uncle. Wyatt is an anesthesiologist. We have a joke he puts everyone to sleep because he’s so boring.”
“But you said he was a prankster.”
“He is. That’s the joke.”
“Oh, sorry. Guess that went over my head.”
“Don’t worry about it. What else do you have left to get?” he asked.
“I want to grab one game he mentioned then I’m done. I hate just buying him clothes, but he doesn’t ask for much either. I only know about these games because I’ve heard him talking abo
ut them when he’s online playing.”
“So he plays online with friends?” he asked.
“No one around here. I’m not sure who the kids are, but I listen and pay attention. As far as I know, he doesn’t talk to too many kids in school. I wish I could change that for him. When we moved here he did start to talk to some and had a few friends, but then once word got out about Cora, no one wanted to be around him anymore. Or their parents didn’t.”
“Which isn’t right,” he said. “A child shouldn’t be punished for their mother’s sins.”
“I know, but how do you change that? I can’t and have given up trying. That’s why he keeps to himself.”
“I think he’s pretty protective of you,” he said.
“He is. He says he doesn’t want to be a burden. I hate that word. I don’t want him to ever feel that way or even say it. Earlier on when I got custody of him, he disappeared on me. I thought he was running away because he made comments about being in the way.”
“Was he running?” he asked.
“He said no, that he needed space, but I’ve never been sure. I gave him a cell phone and have an app on it so I know where he is at all times now.”
“It sounds to me like you’re doing everything right for him.”
“I’m trying. It’s not easy, but we do what we have to.”
* * *
“How did it go?” Sebastian asked her the minute she pushed the door open with bags in her hand.
“None of your business,” she said. “Now go stay in your room while I bring these bags in.”
“I can help you,” he said, grinning at her and trying to reach for one of the three she was carrying.
“No, thank you. I’ve got it.”
“You always let me bring in groceries,” he said, following her to her room.
“You always want to see what I bought so you can start eating it before it’s put away,” she said back.
He only laughed and tried to peek in the bag she’d just put on her bed. “I’m hungry now. Did you bring back any food?”
