by S. J. West
“I understand your concern,” I say, “but Malcolm and I don't think God would send me to do something He doesn't think I can handle. We need to have faith that He knows what He's doing.”
Jered sighs in resignation. “Anna's right. We need to trust that our father has a plan to keep her safe.”
“I still don't like it,” Desmond says, running one hand through his shoulder length hair in frustration. “I don't like it one bit.”
“I don't think any of us like it,” Daniel tells him, “but when have you known our father to do something without thinking it through? He sent Anna to this particular point in time for a reason. I think we just need to trust Him. But,” Daniel looks at me, “if there comes a time when you feel like you're losing yourself, you need to say something. Don't hide anything from us, Anna. You may think it'll cause us worry, but your silence would worry us even more. Promise me you'll ask for our help if and when you need it.”
I nod my head. “I promise you I won't keep what's happening to me a secret. I'm going to need all of you to help me survive this.”
Malcolm puts an arm around my shoulders.
“We'll get through this together,” he promises me.
There's a moment of silence before Jered clears his throat to break it.
“I think we need to talk about Botis,” Jered says. “And... what else might be happening.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“We seriously doubt Botis is the only one Lucifer placed in a position of power here on Earth,” Jered tells me. “I think it would be a good idea if we all split up and scouted out the other cloud cities.”
“It makes sense,” Malcolm agrees. “If Lucifer wants to prevent Anna from killing the princes, placing them in high profile positions would definitely make it more difficult. Plus, it would feed their greed for power and keep them happy for a time.”
“Why would he allow them to have that much authority on Earth?” I ask.
“Normally, he wouldn't,” Desmond says. “But to protect you, I guess he'll do just about anything.”
Desmond volunteers to go to Stratus even though I can tell Brutus wants to be the one who goes there. It makes me even more determined to find a way to introduce Brutus to Kyna Halloran, his soulmate. I'm selfishly curious to see Kyna's reaction when she first sees Brutus. Will her face reveal exactly how she feels just like mine did when I first saw Malcolm? I seriously doubt I'm the only one who met their soulmate and looked like a lovesick puppy dog afterwards.
Brutus ends up going to Virga while Daniel goes to his home cloud city of Cirro. Jered decides to travel to Alto, which leaves only one cloud city to investigate.
“I'll go to Nimbo,” Malcolm volunteers.
“I can go there for you,” Jered says. “You should stay here with Anna.”
“It will be faster if we all split up,” Malcolm says. I suspect there is another reason behind Malcolm's decision to go there, but I decide not to ask while we're still in the company of the others. “Besides, Anna needs to get some rest.”
“I'm fine,” I tell him, not wanting him to use my human frailties as an excuse to leave me.
“You died and you've been to Hell and back, literally,” Malcolm says. “You need to try and get some sleep. I think you’ll do that better if I'm not here.”
“Then at least walk with me to the kitchen before you leave,” I say, finding a reason for us to be alone so I can ask him his real reason for leaving me.
After everyone phases to start his own inspection of the cloud cities, Malcolm and I make our way to the kitchen hand in hand.
“Why are you really going to Nimbo?” I ask him.
Malcolm peers over at me, and I can tell he knows I can't be fooled.
“To be honest with you, Anna, I'm still mad about what you did. I need some time alone to get over it.”
“You're mad I went to Hell without telling you,” I say, just to make sure I fully understand the reason.
“I'm mad that you went there at all!” Malcolm says, allowing a bit of his temper to show. “And being mad at you is the last thing I want right now. Therefore, I'm going to go to Nimbo and find out what's happening there, if anything. It'll give you some time to rest and give me some time to cool off.”
I stop abruptly in the hallway leading down to the kitchen. Malcolm has no choice but to stop too because I don't let go of his hand. He turns to face me and waits for me to say something.
“Would it help at all if I said I was sorry?” I ask.
“Not really because that would just be you lying to me,” Malcolm answers brusquely.
“You're beginning to know me a little too well,” I say, as I let my gaze slide to the floor, unable to look at the disappointment on his face any longer.
“I just need a little time to myself to get over it,” Malcolm tells me.
“How long will you be gone?” I ask, my heart already starting to ache with just the thought of his absence from my side.
“I'll be back tomorrow,” he promises me, his voice sounding gentler. “I don't want to stay away from you for very long either. Just...let me do this. Let me go blow off some steam and then come back to you with a clearer head.”
Malcolm pulls me into his arms and holds me as he lets out a heavy sigh.
“I love you, Anna, but what you did was reckless and inconsiderate not only to me but to everyone who loves you. Can you promise me you won't go there again?”
I consider lying to Malcolm, but I know he would see right through it.
“No, I can't promise you that,” I tell him.
He sighs heavily once more.
“I suppose I expected that answer, but I was hoping you would give me another one.” Malcolm pulls back to look at me. “If you go there again, don't stay long, Anna. The longer you stay there the more of a hold Hell will gain over you. It will rummage through your memories and try to find a way to make you want to stay there.”
“I promise I won't go there unless I absolutely have to,” I tell him. “But I won't let Lucifer use it as an escape route from me either.”
“Just be careful,” Malcolm cautions. “It's the one place I can't go to help protect you.”
“Why? Because of your curse?”
“Not just that. Hell feeds off your guilt and uses it to trap you there. I have enough remorse to fill a thousand lifetimes, Anna. If I ever stepped foot inside it, I would be lost forever.”
“I thought God forgave you for all of that, Malcolm.”
“He did. And I forgave myself to an extent. Nevertheless, I still feel shame over what I did, and I don't think that's a bad thing. If I felt nothing at all, then I would be worried. I keep my guilt close to me as a reminder of what I once was. If I simply forgot all those people and what I did to them, I think that would be more disrespectful to their memories than anything else I could do.”
I understand what Malcolm is saying, but I still wish he could forget about his past. Then again, if he did that, he wouldn't be the man I love.
We continue to make our way down to the kitchen. Millie is slowly stirring something in a pot on the stove while Lucas reaches up into a cabinet from his stepstool to bring down two glass mugs.
“We're just making you some warm milk,” Millie says to me when she sees us walk into the room. “I know how much you like to drink it right before you go to sleep.”
“Thanks, Millie,” I tell her, taking a seat at the table.
“I should be going,” Malcolm says, leaning down to give me a kiss on the lips. “I'll be back tomorrow. I might even be back before you wake up.”
I nod. “Be careful.”
Malcolm winks at me. “Always.”
He phases away, leaving me longing for his presence almost instantly.
“Where is Master Malcolm off to?” Millie asks me, setting my mug of warm milk in front of me while Lucas comes to sit beside me with his own glass filled to the brim.
“Just a little reconnaissance trip to Nimbo,”
I tell her vaguely, not wanting to cause Lucas any worry over his father's absence.
“Well, drink up, my sweet. You should try to get some rest afterwards.”
I lift the mug to my lips and notice, out of the corner of my eye, Lucas staring at me. I take a sip of the milk before resting the glass back on the table and looking over at my son.
“Are you all right?” I ask him, noticing him still staring at me, but it’s almost like he’s looking through me not at me.
I gently touch him on the back, which seems to break his trance.
He blinks a few times then looks up at me.
“There's going to be a war,” he says, his voice sounding distant.
“A war?” I ask, suddenly realizing what just happened. “Did you just have one of your visions?”
Lucas nods, his eyes brimming with tears.
I pull him into my arms and hold him as he starts to shed his tears.
After he stops crying, I gently ask, “Can you tell me what you saw?”
“Just a lot of people fighting,” Lucas tells me with a small sniffle. “But, I saw you, dad, and the other Watchers right in the middle of it all.”
“Can you tell me who it was we were fighting?”
Lucas shakes his head. “No. But there were a lot more of them than you.”
“Did you see anything else?”
“No,” he says, wrapping his arms around my waist. “I don't know what happens. I don't know who wins.”
I hug Lucas tighter and hope it reassures him that everything will be all right. Even though I'm not completely confident it will be.
Chapter 3
After Vala and I tuck Lucas and Luna into his bed, I wander back to my bedroom. The house feels empty without Malcolm's presence. On the other hand, perhaps I just imagine it’s the house when it's actually my soul crying out for the return of its other half.
“Did Malcom leave because he was mad at you?” Vala asks, as I open the door to my room and let her precede me inside it.
“Yes,” I admit, walking in and closing the door behind me. I lean my back up against the cool wood and fight back tears born of guilt and a desperate need to have Malcolm by my side. “Maybe I shouldn't have gone to Hell, but I didn't feel like I had a choice, Vala. I needed to know why Lucifer kept warning me not to retrieve the seals. At least I was able to learn a little bit about what the seals might do to me.”
“I think intellectually Malcolm understands why you did what you did,” Vala says, jumping up on my bed and lying down to face me. “He’s probably more upset by the fact that you went without even thinking about what might happen to you down there. You made a rash decision that might have taken you away from him forever. I think you were very fortunate that nothing bad happened while you were in Hell, Anna.”
“I don't think Lucifer would have let anything harm me,” I say, pushing away from the door and starting to undress. I notice a nightgown lying on my bed and send a silent thank you to Millie for always taking care of my needs even before I realize what they are.
“You know,” Vala says, “your father told me about Hell once.”
“Really?” I ask, surprised by this new bit of information. “What did he say about it?”
“He told me that Hell was a lot like me.”
I feel my forehead crinkle, showing my bewilderment. “What did he mean by that?”
“He said in the beginning Hell was a lot like I was when I first came to you. I was naïve of the world around me, but learned how I should act and who I should become as we spent more time together. When Lucifer went to Hell to claim it as his own personal domain, it learned what it should be by observing his behavior. It began to mimic what it saw inside him.”
“Lucifer told me Hell was a mirror of his soul,” I tell Vala, slipping my nightgown over my head before crawling into bed and bringing the edge of the comforter up to my chin.
“Lord Andre said that over the years, Hell has become a sentient entity. It can think for itself now without having to rely on Lucifer anymore. Your father told me he wasn't sure who the master of Hell was now, Lucifer or Hell itself.”
“From what I saw down there, I would say Hell has more control there than Lucifer does at the moment. He seems so lost without my mother, Vala. I feel so sorry for him, but I'm not sure what I can do to help.”
“I can understand why you pity him, Anna, but keep in mind that he's in control of his own fate.”
“I know,” I tell her, yawning and snuggling down deeper underneath the covers. “I don't like the idea of Hell feeding off of his sorrow like a leech though. I just wish I could figure out a way to ease his pain. “
I close my eyes realizing that I am completely exhausted and allow sleep to drag me completely underneath her spell.
I feel someone shake my exposed shoulder, waking me before I’m ready to face another day. My body doesn’t feel like it’s gotten nearly enough sleep to recuperate from the previous day's events. When I open my eyes, I find Millie sitting on the side of my bed with an apologetic look on her face.
“I'm sorry to wake you, my sweet, but you have visitors.”
I slowly sit up and notice sunlight is now filtering its way into my room through the windows, marking the start of a new day.
“How long have I been asleep?”
“Only a few hours,” Millie tells me. “I wouldn't wake you, but Lord Gray said he had an urgent matter to discuss with you.”
“Gladson is here?” I ask, wondering what could be so important that Auggie's onetime lover felt the need to seek me out for help.
“Yes, he's downstairs in the sitting room with Mr. Stokes.”
“Barlow’s here too?” I ask, but don't really need her to answer. I'm merely surprised that they're both visiting me at the same time.
I quickly get out of bed and see that Millie has already set out a beige cable knit sweater and grey slacks on a nearby chair for me to wear.
“I don’t know what I would do without you, Millie,” I say, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before I start to dress.
“Well, you won’t have to worry about that for a long time to come,” she tells me confidentially.
“Did they happen to tell you why they’re here?” I ask, slipping into the slacks first.
“No. They just said they needed to speak with you as soon as possible.”
Millie takes my nightgown from me after I slip it off. I pull on the sweater and slacks then quickly run a brush through my hair. After I slip on a pair of black flats, Vala and I make our way downstairs to greet our guests.
I find Gladson pacing in front of the fireplace in the sitting room as if he's agitated about something. Barlow is perusing Malcolm’s possessions like someone who appreciates the quality of the items he sees.
“Gladson,” I say, walking up to him and kissing him on a cheek. “What’s wrong?”
Gladson lets out a heavy sigh and looks troubled. Barlow abandons his inspection of the room’s contents and walks over to us.
“I need your help, Anna,” he says gravely. “I’ll understand if you want to refuse what I’m about to ask of you, but I couldn’t think of anyone else I could come to about this.”
“Gladson, just tell me what’s wrong. You know I’ll help you in any way I can.”
“It’s about Auggie’s mother,” Gladson says hesitantly. “I know the two of you never exactly got along, and I can’t say I ever liked Catherine much either. But Auggie loved her, and I feel like I should honor his memory by saving her.”
“Saving her?” I ask, surprised by his choice of words. “Save her from what exactly?”
“My spies tell me that thing masquerading as Auggie has kept her locked in her chambers at the palace since your wedding. I was told she was being kept safe and wasn’t too worried about her up until now. This morning I received a disturbing report that he’s become physically violent with her. My spy didn’t have any details, but he said Catherine could be heard screaming all through t
he night, yet this morning things have been eerily quiet in her room.”
“Is she even still alive?” I ask, remembering Levi’s physical brutality with Malcolm quite well. No human could survive such torture.
“I’ve been told she’s on the verge of death,” Gladson tells me. “I think we need to rescue her now before he has a chance to finish her off.”
“What do you need me to do?” I ask, not for Catherine’s sake but Auggie’s. Gladson was right. Auggie loved his mother very much, even though he didn’t agree with her politics most of the time. I knew he would want me to help her if it was within my power.
“Levi has Catherine’s rooms shielded so no one can teleport in or out of her rooms. Otherwise, I would just go grab her myself,” Gladson says. “I thought maybe you could use this phasing thing you can do to get her out of the palace.”
“How do you plan to keep her safe afterwards?”
“That would be where I come in,” Barlow says. “I’ve arranged to have her taken off-world until its safe for her to return. One of the captains of a mining freighter owes me a favor. So I called it in. He still wants to be paid for it though. I was hoping to talk to Malcolm about his compensation, but your maid said he wasn’t here.”
“He had some other business to attend to,” I say, not seeing any reason to tell either of them what is really going on, at least not until we actually know if there is anything to tell. “How much does the captain want?”
“He doesn’t want a direct cash payoff,” Barlow says. “He wants Malcolm to make his freight company the exclusive transporter of thorium off of Mars.”
“Does Malcolm have the power to do that?” I ask.
“Yes, he can grant Vitor the rights,” Barlow replies.
“Then tell him he will be granted what he wants,” I say. “He has the word of the Empress of Cirrus.”
Barlow smiles and bows slightly at the waist to me. “I will most certainly do that, Empress.”
I see Barlow’s eyes focus on the three-diamond ring on my finger.
