by S. J. West
“I will be,” Malcolm replies, keeping his eyes closed.
“Is there anything I can do to help you?”
Malcolm’s eyelids flutter open and he leans his face away only a fraction of an inch from mine to say, “Stay alive.”
“I have no intention of dying,” I assure him. “I have too much I want to do, like having your babies.”
Malcolm grins, and I see a little bit of his tension ease at the reminder of our son’s prophecy.
“Thank God for Lucas’ gift,” Malcolm says. “Otherwise, I might go completely insane with worry.”
“Speaking of Lucas’ ability to see the future,” I say, “he had a vision while you were away.”
Malcolm sits back slightly at hearing this news and looks alert. “What did he see?”
“He said he saw a war,” I tell him. “He said you, me, and the others were in the middle of a fight, but that we were outnumbered.”
“Did he see anything else? Did he see who won?”
I shake my head. “No, he didn’t. He didn’t even know who it was we were fighting, why we were in a battle with them, or when it would happen.”
“Well, I'm sure it will all play out the way it's meant to. There’s no reason to worry about something we can’t control,” Malcolm says in a resigned voice, but I knew I had just added something else to his list of burdens.
“Whatever it is, we’ll face it together and win.”
“I don’t care about winning if it means I might lose you, Anna.”
“I thought you said we weren’t going to talk about all of that for the rest of the day?” I ask, gently reminding him about his earlier statement.
“Is there anything you would like to do in particular today before the wedding?”
I smile at the question. “Yes, there is, but I believe we decided that would have to wait until after we said our vows in front of God.”
Malcolm chuckles, obviously picking up on my meaning. “Is there anything else you would like to do before the wedding?”
“Nothing that would be nearly as much fun,” I admit with an exaggerated sigh. “Are we even supposed to be with each other before we get married? Isn’t it bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding?”
“Yes it is,” a new but recognizable voice chimes in.
I look over by the fireplace to see Lilly standing in front of it. She’s wearing a white sleeveless summer dress, looking perfect in her part as an angel on Earth.
Malcolm and I both stand up.
“What on earth are you doing here?” Malcolm asks, taking my hand as we walk over to greet our new guest.
“I heard there was a wedding later on this evening,” Lilly says, smiling at us. “And I sort of doubted Anna has had a proper wedding shower considering everything that's been going on down here.”
“No, she hasn't,” Malcolm says, looking confused by Lilly's suggestion. “What did you have in mind?”
Lilly smiles and holds out one of her hands to me.
“Something special,” she says mysteriously, waiting for me to accept her offer.
I release my hold on Malcolm's hand and place it into Lilly's grasp.
“I'll have her back in time for the wedding,” Lilly promises Malcolm. “I assume you have things to do until then to keep you occupied?”
“Yes,” Malcolm answers. He leans into me and kisses me chastely on the lips in front of our company. “I guess I’ll see you later at the altar. Have fun with whatever they have planned.”
Before I can make a reply, Lilly phases us.
I find myself standing in front of a house surrounded by snow-capped mountains. The sun is bright in the sky and a warm breeze blows through my hair, lifting it off my shoulders. The colorful flowers planted in the boxes hanging from the front porch railing permeate the air with their sweet aroma.
As I look at my surroundings, I get an odd sensation that I don't belong where Lilly has brought me. A gentle force seems to be urging me to leave, telling me it's not time for me to be here yet.
“Where are we?” I ask, knowing exactly where we are but having a need to ask the question.
“Heaven,” Lilly tells me. “My version of it anyway. Come on. There are some people inside who have desperately wanted to meet you for a very long time.”
I follow Lilly up the stairs to the front porch. I notice an empty, white painted swing on the right-hand side of the porch swaying gently back and forth in the breeze, making the chains creak. Before Lilly can even reach out a hand to grasp the doorknob, the door is yanked open. Two women stand in the entryway smiling at me for all they’re worth. I instantly know who they are because I've seen them in Malcolm's memories, Caylin and Jess.
Caylin walks up to me and takes me into her arms, hugging me lovingly.
“Oh, Anna,” she says, tightening her hold even further. “I've waited so long to see you again.”
“Stop hogging the bride, kiddo,” Jess complains good-naturedly. “I'm her ancestor too, you know.”
Caylin laughs and steps back, giving Jess room to take her place in my arms.
“It's so good to finally meet you, Anna,” Jess says before releasing me. “It's been a long time coming.”
“It's nice to finally meet the two of you too,” I tell them.
“Where is she?” A woman says loudly from the depths of the home’s interior.
Two beautiful black women walk up the hallway from the back of the house. One is dressed in a pair of jeans and a nice dark blue shirt while the other is dressed in an old-fashioned dress with a black and red rose print pattern. I remember seeing the first woman in Malcolm's memory about Lilly's wedding. She was standing on the dais in the place of the Maid of Honor. The second woman is someone I don't remember ever seeing, but I instantly feel like I know her.
“There's my baby girl,” the older of the two women says, taking me into her arms. “Oh Anna, it's been too long.”
After the woman lets me go and steps back, I look at her face and can't seem to shake a sense of déjà vu.
“How do I know you?” I ask.
“You and I spent a great deal of time together before you were sent to Earth,” the woman says. “My name is Utha Mae, Anna.”
“Were you the one Will and I stayed with while I was here?” I ask, remembering Will mention someone very special taking care of me while I was in Heaven.
“Yes, I was,” Utha Mae says proudly. She begins to look me up and down with a look of pride on her face. If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought she was my mother. “I knew you would grow up to be a beautiful woman, inside and out. Malcolm sure is a lucky man. He gets someone with beauty, smarts, and the purest heart of anyone I've ever met.”
“Has that man been treating you better?” The young black woman asks. “Cause if he isn't, I'll find me a way to get back to Earth and kick some sense into him.”
“Get in line, Tara,” Jess says. “If anyone gets to kick Malcolm's ass, it's me.”
“Uh,” I say, trying not to laugh at their eagerness to do bodily harm to Malcolm. “He's treating me very well. There isn't any need for a Heavenly intervention.”
Jess groans her disappointment. “Man, I was really hoping you would say something different. I've been waiting for a good reason to ask God to send me back to Earth for a visit.”
“You're just jealous that we can go back anytime we want,” Caylin teases.
“I'm totally jealous!” Jess admits. “But I bet if I have a good enough reason, God won't deny me the chance to go back. At least he better not if he wants Heaven to remain peaceful or in one piece.”
I look at the women standing before me and can’t help but notice someone very important missing from the greeting party.
I look over at Lilly and ask, “Is my mother here?”
I can tell Lilly was waiting for me to ask this particular question and feel a slight tension enter the merriment of the moment.
“No,” Lilly answers, “Amal
ie isn’t here.”
“Why?” I ask, feeling my heart drop inside my chest at the possibility that my own mother doesn’t want to see me.
Lilly seems at a loss to know how to answer my question.
So, Utha Mae tries.
“I’m sure she just needs some time, baby girl,” Utha Mae tells me. “Let’s be patient. She still has a while yet to show up.”
I hold back my tears of disappointment and try to preserve the joy of the moment. But, why wouldn’t my own mother want to see me? Did she feel like my birth cheated her out of a real life? Did she regret not doing what Lucifer suggested and abort me so they could be together? There really wasn’t any way for me to ask these questions to those present. How could they know what my mother was thinking?
“Who’s ready to eat?” Tara says in what I can only assume is an attempt to quickly change the subject.
“Leave it to you to bring up food at a time like this,” Jess says with a roll of her eyes at Tara.
Tara places a hand on a cocked hip. “And what is that supposed to mean, Jess Collier?”
“That you’ve been eating since you got here, Tara!” Jess answers with a smile.
“And why wouldn’t I?” Tara says. “I can eat all I want and not gain a bit of weight. Pretty much sounds like Heaven to me!”
It sounds like a very justifiable reason to me also.
“Come on, baby girl,” Utha Mae says, looping an arm around one of mine. “I’ll bet you anything you haven’t had a meal on Earth like me and Tara made for you today.”
“I made dinner for eight people last night,” I say proudly. “All by myself.”
Everyone stops walking and stares at me as if I just grew a second head.
“You can cook?” Caylin asks, looking sure I must have meant something else.
I nod my head. “Yes. Malcolm taught me.”
“Oh my God,” Jess says, her eyes wide in wonder as she looks at me. “You are the chosen one.”
“Oh stop teasing her,” Lilly tells Jess with a laugh.
“Seriously, Lilly, this is monumental!” Jess professes. “No descendant of yours and Caylin’s could boil water much less cook a meal for a dinner party. What exactly did you cook, Anna?”
I tell them what I prepared for everyone the night before.
“Yep, miracle child,” Jess says as if my words were confirmation of the fact. “But, I guess we all knew that already. This just puts proof in the pudding.”
“Quit picking on my baby,” Utha Mae says, gently tugging on my arm so we can continue our walk to the back of the house.
When we enter the kitchen, a mixture of aromas that make me feel more at home welcomes me.
“It smells so good in here,” I say, breathing in deeply. Just like with Utha Mae, the scent of the food makes me feel a sense of déjà vu. “Did you cook this kind of food when I stayed with you?”
Utha Mae smiles at me. “Well of course I did, child. And I want you to let Malcolm know I taught you how to cook before he did.”
I can’t help but smile at this new bit of information.
“He thinks he worked a miracle with me,” I tell her.
“Well, we can’t let him take all the credit now, can we?” Utha Mae says, letting go of my arm. “Otherwise, he might get a little too big for his britches.”
“That man’s ego has always been a little too big for his britches,” Tara says. “Though, from what I’ve heard, you’ve pretty much got him wrapped around your little finger, Anna.”
“I wouldn’t say wrapped,” I tell her, feeling a little embarrassed by the suggestion. “He just wants to make me happy.”
“Wrapped,” Jess agrees. “About time too. I always knew Malcolm was all ooey gooey soft underneath that tough exterior. He just needed the right woman to bring out that side of him.”
I look over at Lilly thinking about Malcolm’s memories involving her. Of anyone in the room, she knew the true Malcolm that he kept hidden from most people. Lilly meets my gaze, and in that moment, we seem to have a silent understanding with one another. She was once the object of Malcolm’s affections, but I can see in her eyes that she knows she was simply a placeholder for me until I was ready to become a part of Malcolm’s life.
“He’s so lucky to have you, Anna,” Lilly tells me. “And I know you’ll be good to him and love him unconditionally. It’s the way he was always meant to be loved.”
“Well, I’m just glad that man is finally settling down,” Tara says. “He’s been running wild ever since all of us died. It’s about time he got married and started a real family.”
Tara’s statement brings to mind a question.
“Utha Mae,” I say as I watch her take out a pan of cornbread from the oven, “I was told Malcolm and I will have twins in the future. Have you met them yet?”
It seemed like a logical question to ask. I had apparently spent a great deal of time in Heaven before I was born. Perhaps Utha Mae or one of the others had already met my children.
I don’t like the look that comes over Utha Mae’s face. She looks troubled by my inquiry.
“No, baby girl, I haven’t met them.”
No one else says anything. Therefore, I have to assume none of them has met my future children either.
“Is that odd?” I ask, not knowing what the protocol for new souls is in Heaven. Maybe not everyone is able to spend time here before they’re born.
Utha Mae hesitates before saying, “The good Lord has always allowed me to spend some time with all the descendants before they’re sent to Earth, but maybe the souls of your children just haven’t been made yet, baby.”
I suspect she’s deflecting my question with her suggestion, but I decide not to demand a more thorough answer. For one, I don’t think she knows anything more than she's saying and there would be no point in asking questions she obviously can’t answer.
Utha Mae fills a plate for me with a little bit of all the food present. Some of it I recognize and some of it I don’t. I must have a perplexed look on my face as she hands me the plate because she tells me what’s on it and points to each item as she does.
“I remembered all of your favorites from when you were here with me,” she says. “There’s cornbread, collard greens, yams, deep fried pork chop with white gravy, and chicken and dumplings.”
“It looks delicious,” I tell her. “Thank you.”
“You’re more than welcome, child.”
After we’ve all taken a seat around the small table in the kitchen, the ladies begin to ask me questions about my life and everything that’s happened so far. I don’t tell them about going to Hell or learning about what the seals might to do me. I don’t want to dampen their spirits with talk about the worst possible outcome of my mission. From Jered’s brief history lesson about my family, I learned what each of them did to accomplish their own missions from God. I know they've faced the same sort of dangers I’m facing now and made it through in one piece. Coming from such a strong lineage of women, I feel confident I can add my name to the list of descendants who were victorious.
“So,” Tara says to me after she’s finished her meal and leans back in her chair. “Tonight’s the night, right?”
“Yes,” I tell her, putting my fork down on my plate. “We're finally having the wedding tonight.”
“Yeah, not really what I was talking about,” Tara says with a lifted eyebrow. “Girl, you ever been with a man?”
“Aunt Tara,” Caylin says admonishingly, “don’t you think that’s kind of personal?”
“We're all family here,” Tara says in justification of her question. “I just want to make sure she’s prepared for what’s gonna happen after the wedding.” Tara looks from Caylin back over at me. “If it’s something you haven’t done with a man before, I just want to make sure you know what to expect. Malcolm’s…well…to put it bluntly…a lot bigger downstairs than most men. I just don't want you to get scared by that thing.”
“Aunt Tara!” Caylin sa
ys. “How on earth would you even know something like that?”
Tara just waves a dismissive hand at Caylin. “Never you mind about that. I just know.”
I have to admit that I’m a bit curious how Tara knows such a thing as well.
“I’m fully aware of Malcolm’s…endowments,” I say, earning the stares of everyone at the table.
“Oh,” Tara says, caught off guard by my answer. “So have the two of you already…”
She seems reluctant to say the rest of her question. So, I finish it for her.
“Made love?” I say. “No, we haven’t. Malcolm wanted to wait until after we’d made our vows to one another in front of God before we consummated our relationship in that way.”
“He did?” Jess asks, sounding truly astonished. “Well, I’ll be damned. I didn’t realize Malcolm had that sort of restraint. I mean look at you, Anna. You're gorgeous! Not many men would be able to hold back like that. And considering how much he loves you, I’m doubly impressed.”
“I knew Malcolm would be that way with someone he truly loves,” Lilly says with a proud smile on her face. “I'm sure he just wants to make things as perfect as he can for you both. He knows this will only happen once in either of your lives, and he doesn’t want to rush something he’s been waiting an eternity for.”
“Aiden and I waited until after marriage too,” Caylin tells me. “I appreciated the fact he wanted to wait, even if it did drive me completely crazy. It was important for him to prove to himself that he had that much self-control, and I understood and respected that. So I didn’t push the matter too much.”
“I’ve pushed,” I admit, a little ashamed at some of my prodding of Malcolm. “But I’m glad he's made me wait. It’ll just make the experience that much sweeter I think.”
“Uh, you do realize your first time probably won’t be too storybook, right?” Tara says.
I feel at a bit of a loss.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m not completely sure I understand what you’re trying to tell me.”
“I think what my granddaughter is trying to say, in her own subtle way, is that it will most likely hurt your first time, baby girl,” Utha Mae says.
