by D. Kelly
With a raised brow, Wyatt calls me on my shit. “You don’t let go of people you love, Sawyer; you fight for them with everything you have. You still love her, right?”
“More than I ever knew could be possible.”
“If she doesn’t calm down by morning, I’ll talk to her. Let her and Anna get drunk and talk. You guys are at the beginning of your journey, and every relationship has ups and downs. Yours is just more complicated than most.”
Sighing, I run my hand through my hair. “What if that doesn’t work?”
Wyatt laughs. “Groveling always works with Anna.” I toss him a dirty look, and he holds his hands up. “Sorry, it’s not funny, but I love seeing this side of you. For so long you acted indifferent when it came to women. It’s nice to see you’re not immune to love.”
“You seem okay with this now. Are you?”
“I wasn’t against it in the first place. I wasn’t sure how to feel. It’s a hard situation to root for or encourage when you’re still mourning the loss that brought it to fruition. But I love you, and I love Mel, and I want both of you to be happy because life is fleeting.”
Wyatt’s phone goes off, and he pulls it from his pocket.
“It’s Anna, she says Mel is spending the night.”
“At least she’ll be safe there.”
“Always, and I owe Mel a favor. I have since the night we met. When she’s ready to listen to what I have to say with an open mind and heart, I’ll help you out if this doesn’t blow over first.”
“What are you going to tell her?”
His gaze meets mine. “I’m going to tell her about the day in the stairwell in New York. Hearing Noah say it’s okay on your video is one thing. Knowing he knew about the kiss and he loved both of you anyway will go a long way toward her healing.”
“Maybe. Mel has an odd way of looking at things sometimes.”
Wyatt laughs again. “Women have an odd way of looking at things period, get used to it. They’re a completely different breed, and we’d be lost without them.”
Wyatt sticks around for a few hours, and we spend some time catching up. Darren is out tonight, so it’s nice to have him here. After he leaves, I check on Nate one more time before going to bed, and then I text Mel again. I tossed and turned all night and was up at the crack of dawn. By the time Princess came home with pastries and coffee, I was a mess. I did everything Wyatt suggested—groveled, begged, confessed my love—but nothing worked. The last thing I expected was for her to call it off and tell me to date other people. But that’s exactly what happened.
Valentine’s Day
For a solid twenty-four hours after Mel tells me to date other people, I’m angry as fuck. I sulked in the garage, drank way too much, and wallowed in memories of Mel and me. I was a complete mess, but I woke up with determination. I’m not going down without a fight and there’s no way in hell I’m dating anyone else. If Mel hasn’t figured out yet how much I love her, I’m going to have to try harder to show her. Amelia Weston is going to learn the hard way that I’m not going anywhere.
She’s miserable. It’s comical watching as she tries smiling as if she’s not hurting. She tries acting like we’re just friends, but we both know that won’t ever happen. Amelia is my everything, and from the looks of it, she’s pretty damn lost without me too.
On day three, I text her.
I love you
Princess: Stop it’s too hard.
Each day after, I text her my love. Some days, I try different tactics.
On day five, I send her a text and the link for “I’m Not the Only One” by Sam Smith.
I love you
Princess: Sawyer … please.
At least once a day when I pass her in the hall, I flash her a panty-melting smile and tell her I love her. The indecision in her eyes is clear, but it keeps me going. I’ve never fought for someone before, and I’ve never wanted to, but with Mel it’s different. I know how she feels. It’s difficult for her to love me when Noah is everywhere. The guilt is overwhelming at times. She can say this is about me being coerced into loving her, but deep down she knows that’s bullshit. She’s still working through her guilt, and she has no reason to feel guilty any longer. We’re here, and we deserve to be happy for as long as we are. I’m giving this until Valentine’s Day and then I’m taking drastic measures to snap her out of this.
On day seven, she walks in on me playing and singing along to “Drive” by Incubus. She lingers in the kitchen, quietly getting a glass of water, flipping through the mail, and covertly glancing at me. Of course, I notice. Whenever she looks at me my body lights up like a Spidey sense. When I finish the song, she darts down the hall, and I laugh. “I love you too, Princess.”
The following week is harder, but I push aside my frustration and keep up with my plan. The hardest times are when I walk down a hall or into a room after her and her sweet, fruity scent lingers in her wake. All I want to do is lick her body and kiss every inch of her. My cock is in complete agreement. I wonder if she’s thinking of me too— if she’s taking care of her needs the way I’m being forced to—but I can’t think like that for long because it only makes me miss her even more.
I want slide into bed with her. I miss having her in my arms, and I wonder if she’d push me away. As much as I’m dying to have her in my arms, I’d never put her in that situation. I know where my boundaries are, and although I push them with my words each day, I’d never push them with my body.
On the tenth day, I send her a link for “Crash Into Me” by Dave Matthews Band and a message:
I miss the hell out of you.
Her reply is a broken heart emoji.
That’s your choice Princess, I’m trying to heal it … If you’d only let me.
Princess: It’s too hard Sawyer. You need to date.
Fine, go out with me. I’ll get Darren to watch the kids.
Princess: That’s not what I mean, and you know it.
No, what I know is that I miss you and I love you, and you miss me too.
Princess: Date someone else Sawyer so you can realize Noah played you.
That pisses me off so much I don’t reply. I’ve never been anyone’s puppet, and she knows it.
On day twelve, she’s listening to “Waiting Game” by Banks, and it renews my faith a bit. She has it blasting loud enough for me to hear. Not only that, but it isn’t something from her death playlist, so at least she’s not regressing.
When her song ends, I rally back with one of my own: “Want to Want Me” by Jason Derulo. After that, her room goes silent, and I feel oddly vindicated that I won this round and we’re getting closer to a truce. It better come soon because there are only six more days until Valentine’s Day.
When day fourteen arrives, I’m angry and send her a semi-mean text.
You know you’re being a complete idiot about all of this right?
Princess: Wow, that’s a great way to profess your love.
Ha! Want me to profess my love? Act like there’s a possibility you could return it.
Princess: This isn’t easy for me either.
Let me come worship your pussy with my tongue and remind you of all the ways I can love you.
Princess: This isn’t about sex.
Maybe not but if you won’t let me sway your mind maybe your body will work with me instead.
She doesn’t reply, but I try one last time.
Can I take you on a date for Valentine’s Day?
Princess: No
Do you know how many women would kill for that opportunity and you’re not even going to think about it?
Princess: I’m sorry.
Me too.
That’s my last straw. I remind her when I see her over the next few days that I’m hers, but she brushes me off. When the day before Valentine’s Day rolls around, I implement my plan.
“I’m getting out of dodge so you can work your magic. I hope this shit doesn’t backfire on you, Sawyer,” Darren says from the doorway with Ca
dence in his arms.
“She hasn’t left me any other options, and I’m tired of waiting. I’ll text you if it goes sideways.”
“Sounds like a plan. Good luck.”
After Darren leaves, I take a shower and put on some clothes I know will make Mel jealous. After adding some cologne, she knocks on my door as I’m putting on my watch.
“Hey, Mel, what do you need?”
“Never mind, it can wait. Are you going out?”
My gaze is drawn to her curvy hips. She’s wearing my favorite pair of jeans; they hug her voluptuous body in all the right places. My gaze moves up her body and lingers on her tits, her t-shirt is a little loose, but it’s pulled tight over her breasts. My cock jerks and I will it down. I’ve got a plan to enact. Before I look away, I notice she isn’t wearing her necklace with her wedding rings. My heart races, and I wonder if it’s intentional or if she just forgot to put it back on after she showered. She’s not generally forgetful, but with everything going on with us right now, I can’t let myself believe she did it on purpose.
“Yeah, I have a date.”
“You what? I mean … good for you.”
The look on her face is priceless as she stumbles over her words. She’s jealous, and I’m so fucking relieved. I’ll give her one more chance, and then I’m leaving.
“I’ve got a few minutes if you want to talk … about anything.”
“Who’s the lucky girl?” She can barely meet my eyes. Guess we’re going to keep playing the hard way.
“Dawn,” I reply without hesitation.
“The hostess from the club?” she shrieks, and my grin comes naturally. I knew that name would set her off. I had to call the fucking club to figure it out, but it was worth it.
“The one and only.”
“So I guess you’re going to sleep with her.”
Fuck, I wish I could throw her down and fuck her aggression out. Instead, I egg her on. “Any reason why I shouldn’t?”
Tell me what you’re thinking, Princess.
“Uh, no, I guess not. Have a nice night, Sawyer.”
She darts out of my room, and I scoop up my keys and leave. I feel a tiny bit shitty about what I’m going to do, but she deserves it after the way she’s been acting.
I make a quick stop at the florist and pick up the roses I ordered for her and Bethie. Red for Mel, and Pink for Anna.
When I arrive at Wyatt and Anna’s, the door opens, and Anna shakes her phone at me.
“You’re on a date with the sex club chick, huh?”
“Apparently,” I reply as she types into her phone. “These are for you.” I hold out her flowers, and she smiles brightly. The weather is cool enough to leave Mel’s in the car.
“They’re gorgeous, Sawyer. Thank you.” Leaning up on her tiptoes, she kisses me on the cheek as we enter the house. “They’re also the least you could do considering you have me lying to my best friend right now.”
With a cocked brow, I lean against the wall. “I’m your best friend.”
She brushes me off. “You know what I mean. You’re awful. Mel is freaking out.”
“Trying to show me up, Weston?” Wyatt asks, pointing to the flowers.
“Hardly. I’m sure you have something better than flowers planned for tomorrow.”
“True. So are we taking bets if Mel is going to call in that favor I owe her tonight?”
Anna shoves his shoulder. “You two are such assholes. If I didn’t love Mel so much, I’d be really mad at both of you, but I know she needs this push.” My phone goes off, and Anna grins. “Is that her? I told her to text you.”
I look down, and sure enough, she’s sent me a link to “Girl Crush” by Little Big Town. “Yup, it’s her.” I grin, and Anna and Wyatt smile like the co-conspirators they are as I text Mel a link for “Over It” by Katharine McPhee. I know she’ll want to laugh because it’s by an ex-Idol, but she’s also going to worry due to the context of the song. All part of my plan though. Hopefully, it will work.
Anna is texting something fierce, and a few seconds later I get another song link for “Between the Lines” by Sara Bareilles. Mel has been listening to her a lot lately, and I’d been considering getting tickets to her show because I know how much she loves her. Then everything happened, and I’ve been hesitant to keep making plans for us … no matter how badly I’d like to.
Jake cries, and Anna grabs him from the swing in the corner. When he sees me, he smiles, and I scoop him out of her arms.
“Someone loves his Uncle Sawyer,” Anna coos.
“That’s because Jake knows I’m the one who’s going to keep all his secrets from his parents and sneak him into the cool clubs.”
“Are those the rules we’re playing by? Guess that means I get to keep your kid's secrets too?”
“Sure, Wyatt, but the difference is you’ll tell Anna, and she’ll tell me.”
“Fucker,” he mutters as his phone goes off. “It’s Mel. She’s ready for that favor.” Wyatt focuses on his texting, and Anna pulls me over to the couch. It could be a long night.
Anna lays Jake on the floor with some toys, and Wyatt kisses them goodbye. “Let’s all hope Mel is receptive to what I have to say.” He pats my shoulder on his way to the door.
“Thanks, Wyatt.”
My phone and Anna’s go off at practically the same time. This time, Mel sends “Run Run Run” by Kelly Clarkson and John Legend. It’s obvious she’s jealous as hell. I let her sit for a bit before replying, giving thought to what I want to send back to her. I can do this one of two ways: I can show her she’s getting to me, or I can keep being a dick. Considering what Wyatt is going over there to talk to her about, I opt for the former. While Anna feeds Jake and gets him ready for bed, I pick out the perfect song: “Don’t Let Me Let You Go” by Jamie Lawson.
Wyatt must be there by now, and I wonder how it’s going when she sends a song she’s been listening to for about three weeks now. It’s “Breathe Again” by Sara Bareilles. She’s conflicted about Noah, but she loves me, and the lyrics speak her unsaid words perfectly.
After Jake is back in bed, Anna plops down next to me and rests her hand on my thigh. “It’s going to work out, Sawyer.”
“I hope so.”
“Hey, don’t be so negative. The two of you have been through a lot, and you both loved Noah as much as anyone could. I know you don’t want to hear this, but it’s natural for her to be so undecided about it all. He was her husband, but I’ve seen you together, Sawyer. She’s happy with you.”
“Is happy enough, Bethie?”
Her mouth drops, and she shoves me. “Sawyer Weston, happiness is everything. True happiness can only come from love. Self-love, romantic love, familial love, whatever kind you have, it flows over into all the other parts of your life. You make Mel happy in a way I’m not sure Noah did.”
“Don’t say that.” I don’t want to take anything from Noah, and I don’t want to consider she’s right.
“Not in a bad way. Different people bring out different things in all of us. Noah and Mel had a timeless, fairy tale kind of love. It was … heavy, all-encompassing, and perfect for the limited amount of time they were given. The kind of love the two of you have is different. It’s …”
I watch as she struggles for the words and know she’s carefully weighing what she says. “Spit it out, Bethie, it’s okay.”
“It’s lighter, but that’s not really the word I’m looking for because the two of you grew from the ashes of sorrow. I think it’s almost like you guys had so much pain that bonded you, your love may have stemmed from that, but as you traveled through the darkness to the light so did your love. When I see you and Mel, even though you have issues, your love is effortless. The two of you are so cautious because of your past that you get in your own way.”
As I consider Anna’s words, I look back down at my phone and realize I never replied to Mel. I know by sending me that song she was extending an olive branch. It’s time to come clean.
&
nbsp; I’m on my way home. We need to talk.
P.S. I lied, I never had a date.
I stand and pull Anna up and into a hug. “Noah taught us both how to love. I’m not sure how to repay that, and I don’t think she is either.”
When Anna pulls back, she smiles up at me. “Sawyer, that’s the easy part. You repay him by loving each other. That’s what he wanted, and it’s what makes the two of you happy. Both of you need to accept that and stop getting in your own way. The way you two love each other is nearly jealousy-inducing, and that’s how I know it’s going to last forever. You two spend more time freaking out over how and why you fell in love than you do being in love. Both of you have to let go of the past, of the hows and whys, and focus on the now. If you do that and enjoy your happiness, everything else will fall into place.”
“Thanks, Bethie,” I say, hugging her one last time before heading home.
“Anytime, Sawyer. Have fun tonight.” The twinkle in her eyes makes me smile.
“I plan on it.”
“Sawyer, wait!” Anna shouts from the door, and I turn around. “If this all works out, what is your plan?”
“To marry her when she’s finally over Noah.”
“It might be sooner than you think. Good luck!” she calls out before turning around and going inside.
Her words stay with me the whole way home. As much as I’d love for her to be right, I hope she’s wrong. This is why this thing between us is so fucking complicated. The part of me that is in love with Amelia wants nothing more than her love in return. But the part of me that puts my twin brother ahead of everything wants her to mourn Noah for the rest of her life. If Noah hadn’t left that damn video, I’d probably never get past my guilt. Noah knew that though, and it’s why he set us free. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let Mel throw us away after Noah gave us his blessing.
