by Nina Levine
“Yeah, he was really into it. Me, not so much, but it had been six months since I broke up with J and I was lonely. I was drinking pretty heavily by then and Nix was the only one who didn’t give me grief for it.” I shook my head as the memories came flooding back. “When I was drinking, I was a lot easier to boss around. That’s probably why he liked me drinking. I just didn’t give enough of a shit about anything and went along with whatever he wanted.”
Serena moved closer to me and touched me gently on the arm, on my scar. “Did Nix do this to you?”
“No.” Shit, this conversation was making me feel ill. The familiar feelings of self-hatred washed over me. Tingles spread through to my hands and the ends of my fingers and my head began to spin. Nausea took hold of my stomach and I actually thought I might vomit. No-one, besides J and Scott, knew how I got my scar and it was something I never wanted Serena or anyone else to find out.
“Hey, honey, are you okay?” Serena sensed my distress and directed me to sit on the couch. She ran into the kitchen and returned with a glass of water, which I took gratefully from her.
I downed the water in one go and focused on my breathing. Serena sat beside me, rubbing my back, providing me with her warmth and comfort. I knew she was worried but I didn’t have it in me yet to ease her concerns. All I could think about was that my past was finally going to catch up with me. Fuck Nix. Why did he have to come back into my life? He wasn’t the reason for all the crap that took place, but he was the climax to it all. And now he was going to be the catalyst for it all flaring up again.
Serena checked her watch. “We should probably get to work; otherwise, Gina will be in a foul mood with us all day for being late.”
I looked at her and nodded, offering a small smile. “Thanks,” I whispered, grateful that she knew I needed this conversation to be over.
“Oh, God, these shoes are killing my feet,” Serena complained as she fell onto the couch and ripped off her shoes.
It had been a long day, and the heels we wore to work didn’t help. But hell, they looked good and sometimes that was what a girl needed to get her through the day.
It was Friday night and we both had the weekend off. Blake had rounded everyone up to visit his restaurant, Scarlett, for dinner tonight, while Saturday was gearing up to be a girls’ day out shopping. Sunday was still open for discussion, but I was hoping for some time in the sun.
“What time did Blake say dinner was?” Serena asked.
“Eight o’clock,” I answered and pulled my phone out to see if I had any messages.
“I’m going to take a shower unless you want to go first.”
I waved her away after discovering a message from Scott. “You go first. I’ve got a message from Scott to check.” She left me as I began reading.
Scott: Will you be home tonight?
Me: No.
Scott: Text me the address of where you’ll be. I’ve got a guy on the way.
Me: You’re kidding, right? I’m fine tonight, send him tomorrow.
My phone rang and I rolled my eyes when I saw it was Scott. Answering the phone, I spoke immediately, “I’m with friends tonight, Scott. They’ll look out for me.”
“Madison, just give me the goddamn address. He’ll be there in a couple of hours,” he snapped.
I huffed out a sigh. “Fine.” I reeled off the restaurant’s address.
I heard him repeat it to someone in the background and then he ended our conversation with, “I’ll be there towards the end of next week to try to talk some sense into you,” before he hung up.
I threw my phone on the couch and stomped into my bedroom, frustrated as hell. Despite my snark at my brother, I was grateful he looked out for me, even though my stubbornness had a hard time admitting it aloud. In truth, I hated it, hated the situation Nix was putting me in. Once more, my life seemed close to being controlled. I’d left my family to take ownership of my life, my decisions, and it seemed Nix was preventing that from happening by forcing my family’s hand. I just hoped Scott sent one of the prospects; they were a lot easier to boss around.
Faith threw her head back and laughed so loud that pretty much all eyes in the restaurant were on us. She had a pretty wicked sense of humour and when she found something funny, everyone knew it. Rowan had just relayed a story about something that happened to him at work and although it was kind of funny, Faith thought it was hilarious. It amazed me that these two used to date a couple of years back and had managed to stay friends after they broke up. In fact, from what I’d been told, they were better friends now than when they dated. I never managed to stay friends with any of my exes.
Rowan leaned across the table and touched my hand. “You’re quiet tonight.” His voice was low so the rest of the group, who kept bantering back and forth, wouldn’t hear. Rowan was one of the most sensitive guys I’d ever met. Serena had introduced us at a party where I knew no-one and he’d gone out of his way to stay close to me that night to make sure I was okay. He was also the guy who would bring you soup and medication when you had the flu and the guy who gave up his plans to go to a football game when you needed someone to go with you to visit your sick grandfather. Yep, he had done those things for me as well as so much more. He was also one of the hottest guys I’d ever met – tall, really well built, covered in ink and bald. However, neither of us were interested in anything more and I valued his friendship.
“Yeah, there’s some stuff going down with Scott and the club. He’s trying to get me to go back home again,” I replied.
“And you’re refusing again?” He grinned and shook his head. Rowan and I had often discussed my brother’s desire for me to return home, and because he had sisters, he was sympathetic towards Scott.
“Of course I am. So now he’s sending someone here to look out for me.” I sighed.
Rowan laughed. “You would drive me fucking insane if you were my sister, Madison. I can just imagine the hell you’re going to give this poor guy.”
At that exact moment, I glimpsed him entering the restaurant, the guy who Scott sent. And I couldn’t believe my eyes. Over six foot of pure muscle, tanned and inked skin, dark hair and piercing blue eyes, he was as gorgeous today as the last time I saw him. My heart beat faster and I blocked everything else out as my mind focused on the man heading straight for me. He looked as pissed as I was. Yeah, I bet he didn’t want this gig and I could picture the battle he probably had with Scott about it.
I pushed my chair back and stood, ready to face him. It had been two years since we’d seen each other and while my head was screaming that it didn’t want to see him, my body betrayed me. I had that fluttery feeling in my stomach; felt that familiar need, deep in my core. No man had ever affected me like he did.
Walking up to me, he ignored everyone around us. “Madison.”
His gravelly voice did me in; it always had. Weak at the knees, I gripped the chair to steady myself; there was no way he would see me falter. He’d sent me away two years ago, ripped my heart out and crushed it, and I would be damned if he discovered what he was still capable of doing to me. Lifting my face, I met his eyes. “J.”
4
Jason
Fuck, she wasn’t going to make this easy for either of us. I was convinced Scott was handing me my balls on a plate by sending me to her. One look at Madison and I wanted to shove them at her and get the fuck out of there. Christ, she was still as goddamn sexy as the last time I laid eyes on her. I ran my eyes down her body and took in the low-cut, short dress and fuck-me heels. God, I loved those shoes and my dick twitched just thinking about wrapping those legs around me.
“Can we talk outside for a minute?” I asked.
She pursed her lips and appeared to be assessing the situation before she gave me a curt nod and said, “Fine.” And with that, she grabbed her purse, brushed past me and stalked towards the front door. I watched her ass sway as I followed her out and told my dick to settle the fuck down. No way were we going there again. I was there for one r
eason and one reason only.
Once outside, she reached into her purse and pulled out a cigarette. She quickly lit it and took a long drag. God, I hoped she was still sober. Last I’d heard, she was and she looked pretty healthy, but the way she sucked on that cigarette looked like a junkie fixing for their next hit.
“Scott told you I was coming, yeah?” I asked, taking in the glare she levelled on me. Yep, balls on a plate.
“No,” she snapped. “He said someone was coming but he failed to mention it was you.” She looked like she was going to say something else but took another long drag on her cigarette instead.
“Well, you’ve got me until he pulls me back home, so I say we make the best of a shitty situation and put our crap aside.”
She took another long drag on her cigarette, threw it down and ground it out before scowling at me. “Go to hell, J. In fact, go home and tell Scott to send someone else. You and I have too much between us. This will go a lot smoother for everyone if he sends another guy.”
It was time to take my balls back. Scott had pissed me off by forcing me to babysit, and in less than two minutes Madison was already irritating the fuck out of me. “Babe, sending me away and waiting for someone else to turn up leaves you by yourself. Trust me when I say you do not want Nix to find you alone.”
“Don’t call me babe,” she started and then stopped, as if she’d been about to say something else before hesitating. Her hand moved to rub the scar I knew was on her arm and she blinked a few times before continuing. “I really don’t think Nix is going to come here looking for me. Scott’s overreacting.”
I shook my head. “You’ve got no idea, Madison. The Nix you knew two years ago has nothing on who he is now. Since he became President of Black Deeds, he wouldn’t think twice about fucking over his own mother, let alone you.”
“I know what that motherfucker is capable of. I know what he can do.” She moved close and jabbed a finger in my chest.
Anger swirled around us, threatening to snap my patience. I flicked my hand out and grabbed her wrist, startling her. I made a quick decision to shock her into understanding just what Nix did to those in his way. Grabbing my phone out with my free hand, I scrolled to a photo and shoved it in her face. “Yeah, babe, I know what he did to you, but this…this is what he did to Bec.”
Her face paled and I let her rip her hand away from mine. A fraction of a second later, her open palm hit my cheek, which I should have been ready for, knowing her preference for doing that when she was pissed at me. Anger burned through me, not just at her slap but at this whole fucked-up situation. Allowing my anger to lead, I shoved her up against the wall behind her, keeping one hand on her waist and one on the wall above her head. “Listen the fuck up ‘cause I’m not going to repeat myself. Nix is out for blood and I’m betting he hasn’t let go of the shit that went down between you two. He wasn’t ready to let you go, Madison, and nobody walks away from him like you did. Bec tried, and what you saw in that picture is what he did to her. You want that to happen to you?”
Staring at me with eyes wide, her expression blanched. “They were together? And he killed her for leaving?”
I loosened my hold on her and stepped back to give her some space. “Now we’re getting somewhere. Yes, from what we’ve heard he raped her, let his guys take a go as well, and then slit her throat. They dumped her body outside our clubhouse.”
Madison’s hand flew to her mouth and she released a sob. Fuck, I hadn’t wanted to tell her the details, but she’d left me no choice. I knew shocking her into allowing me to stay was the only way she would cave. Tears streaming down her face, I pulled her close to comfort her. I was surprised as shit when her arms wrapped around me, but I hugged her back in silent support. We stayed like that for about five minutes and it felt good to have her in my arms again, but I knew once she pulled herself together, she’d push me away. Fuck, she’d probably slap me again.
We were interrupted by the ringing of my phone. Madison pulled away, wiped her eyes and reached in her purse for a tissue. I focused my gaze on her as I answered my phone. “Yeah?”
It was Scott. “You got her?” He was always to the point; I appreciated that about him, no fucking about.
“Yeah. I think we’ve just come to an agreement.” I raised my eyebrows at Madison, waiting for her acknowledgement. She nodded her head once, which I knew pained her to do. Releasing tension I hadn’t realised I was holding, I waited for Scott to continue.
“Good, because Nix just killed Georgie. This shit is really fucked up now.”
“Fuck!” I roared. Georgie was Bec’s fifteen-year-old son. Nix and Bec had been together for a year before she recently left him. He’d taken them both out, so his agenda was pretty clear. “You’ve got Crystal?” That poor kid, Bec’s ten-year-old daughter, had lived through some ugly shit and now she was alone in the world.
Madison’s eyes were wild; she’d picked up that something bad was going down and snatched the phone out of my hand. “What’s happened?”
Tears reformed in her eyes, and broken sobs filled the street as Scott spoke to her. I reached out and touched her on the shoulder; it was an automatic movement and she didn’t flinch. It reminded me of a time when things were good between us, but that love didn’t exist anymore. We’d killed it.
She ended the call and handed me back my phone before turning around and walking towards the restaurant. I could tell she was wiping the tears from her face.
“What are you doing?” I called out.
Without turning to look at me, she replied, “I’m just saying goodbye to my friends. I’ll be right back so wait here.”
I let her go. This day had completely turned to shit. And yet, it was fucking good to see Madison.
Shit.
5
Madison
As I entered the restaurant to say goodbye, Blake’s eyes met mine from across the room. He was mingling with his customers but left them to come to me.
“You okay?” he asked.
I shook my head, tears threatening to spill again, but I pulled my big girl panties up and said, “Not really, but I will be. It turns out that Scott wasn’t kidding when he said that there was some bad shit going down. I just found out an old friend of mine was murdered by Nix.”
He sucked in a breath. “Fuck, babe. Why?”
I shrugged. “Who knows why Nix does anything he does, but the club thinks it’s because she tried to leave him.”
His eyes widened in understanding. “So, they think he will come after you now because you left him. Is that what this is all about?”
“Yes, I think so. Knowing Scott and J though, there’s most likely more to it they aren’t telling me.”
“What are you going to do? Go home?”
“I need some time to think it through, but maybe. My friend’s daughter is all alone now so I want to check on her. She’s only ten, Blake. How could someone do that to her? Take away her family like that.” My chest became heavy as despair travelled through my veins. “I can’t believe I dated him. It makes me feel sick.”
He pulled me into a hug. “There are some twisted people out there, baby girl. I’m here for you. You know that, right?”
Nodding, I answered, “Yeah, honey. I know I can always count on you.”
Stepping out of his embrace, I turned to the table where our friends were. They all watched us intently, probably wondering what the hell was going on. I smiled and left Blake to speak to them.
Serena stood up and came to me with a huge hug. “You’ve been crying. What the fuck did he say to you?” She was mad on my behalf and I loved that about her.
“I’ll fill you in later, okay?” She nodded and I continued, “I’m leaving with J now, so I’ll see you when you get home.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
I smiled. “No, I’m okay with him. Besides he looks exhausted and will probably just go to sleep. I need some time alone to think.”
“Fair enough, but I won
’t be home too late.”
“Thanks.”
I said goodbye to Faith and Rowan, and then headed back outside to J. He sat on his bike waiting for me, still looking as pissed off as he had when he first arrived.
“You ready to go?” he asked.
“Yes, but I’m not so sure I’ll be able to get on your bike in this dress.”
He smirked. “Never stopped you before, babe,” he said, letting his eyes roam over my body. My traitorous body reacted immediately under his gaze, my pulse beating faster and my nipples pebbling.
Flustered, it was easier to be on the defensive. “Just pass me a helmet,” I snapped.
He did what I asked and then turned around, settling into his seat while I attempted to hike my dress up enough to allow me to sit behind him. Somehow I managed this; although, I did feel like my ass was exposed for all the world to see.
His hands gripped my legs and pulled me closer to him. Bloody hell, my pussy took immediate notice, and that was not a good thing. Not where J was concerned, because if I let her take control of the situation, God knew where we would end up.
I wrapped my arms around him and held on while we sped off into the night. Fifteen minutes later, we pulled into my driveway. I guessed that Scott had given him my address. Letting go of him, I did my best to get off the bike without flashing too much and quickly smoothed my dress down before removing the helmet and giving it back to him.
Without a second glance in his direction, I went inside and headed to the kitchen, flipping on lights as I went. I was not one of those people who tried to conserve power or money by never putting lights on; I loved the house lit up. Turning on the tap, I filled the kettle and started making coffee. Figuring J could do with a caffeine hit, I got him a mug too but then stopped myself when I went to fill it. It had been awhile since I’d made him coffee, perhaps he took it differently now.
