by Krane, Kasey
Maybe the old Reese—the one from a few days ago who was subjugated and mistreated by Aldo all her life—wouldn’t have known what to do. Rather, wouldn’t have had the courage to do what she really wanted to do.
Killian didn’t even know what he had done for me.
He’d given me strength because he treated me with respect.
Because he made me feel like I had something to offer.
And now I would use that strength to show him I could be boss too.
I lunged at him before he knew what was coming.
I tried to climb him and we both went tumbling to the floor. Great. This was exactly where I wanted him.
I grabbed his cock, stroking him efficiently to make sure he stayed as hard as I liked him.
Killian’s smile started to fade when I pinned his arms down to the ground and climbed on top of him. He didn’t struggle or try to push me off. We both knew he could easily do it if he wanted to.
Guess he didn’t want to.
I lowered myself on his rock hard, erect cock with a flourish.
Oh my God, it felt good to be in control. To take him in the way I wanted to.
We stared into each other’s eyes. He didn’t even move his arms or tried to reach for me. I kept his hands down so I had full charge of him.
I rolled my hips, bouncing up and down on top of him, riding his cock exactly the way I wanted to from the first moment I saw him.
I felt like I was on top of the world.
All of a sudden, I was convinced I could achieve anything. Like I wouldn’t have to live my life looking over my shoulder. I was on top of some mountain looking down at his handsome face.
I rode that cock hard, until we came together.
Killian growled like a caged wild animal, shaking and thrusting into me as he came. I came again, my pussy throbbed with satisfaction as I collapsed on top of him.
We were a tumble of limbs and bare moist bodies.
I didn’t know how long I had before he was going to push me off him, but I was going to make the most of it.
* * *
Killian stood up and started putting on his clothes. Neither of us spoke since we were finished.
I didn’t know what to say and I was sure he didn’t either.
What did it mean? What were we going to do now?
Everything seemed unfair. My life had always seemed unfair, but this was on a whole new level.
“I’m going out,” he growled, promptly walking out of the door at the end of the hallway. He didn’t look at me before he left. It was like he didn’t even care if I tried to escape. He didn’t give a rat’s ass anymore.
Maybe there was a part of him that hoped someone would find me. It would make his task much easier.
I got myself off the floor and got dressed.
Then I went back to the kitchen, made myself a cup of coffee and sat at the table. There were still some cookies left over and I ate three of them one after the other.
I didn’t know what else to do. My hands were still shaking.
I was angry and frustrated.
Why wouldn’t he just face up to it?
I could see it in his eyes. He felt things he’d never experienced before. It reminded him of what happened with his mother. The last time he loved someone.
He didn’t want to be vulnerable again. I made him vulnerable and he hated that.
I understood.
I wished he would just let me help him.
If only he gave me a chance to explain that I understood him…
But he wasn’t going to give me that chance. Instead, he just decided to shut himself off again.
I didn’t know where he went or when he would be back. What made it worse was that I didn’t know how long I had left with him. I didn’t even know if we would be together tomorrow.
He could come back now and declare he was done with me. That he couldn’t handle me anymore and he was taking me back to Aldo.
Killian said he was determined to take care of me. That he was going to keep me safe. Apparently he had a plan. I told him I trusted him, but I didn’t know where it would lead.
How far was he actually willing to go to keep me safe?
Would he choose me over his family? Why would he?
I witnessed how much he loved his stepsister. I was aware of how close he was with his father and brothers.
He would never let me get in the middle of that.
Compared to them, I meant nothing to him. In reality, I wasn’t his responsibility.
For me, I had nobody to compare him with.
At that moment, it felt like Killian was the center of my world. I didn’t have anyone else.
I was falling in love with him, and it didn’t seem to matter how he treated me or what he planned to do with me.
What I felt for him was completely out of my hands now.
Twenty-Five
Killian
I needed to get some fresh air.
I wasn’t planning on fucking her. Not like that.
Not like my life depended on it.
The sex, as always, was amazing, but there was something different about the way she fucked me this time. It was like she wanted me to see her true self.
How brave and strong she was.
In those moments when she was riding my cock, I was assured of the fact that she would make the perfect partner to me.
Reese was exactly the kind of woman I needed by my side. The one who would keep me in check, who would have a positive influence on me because I could respect her. Because I knew she was a better person than me. She had more to offer to the world than I did.
I needed to get away from that feeling.
I had already decided I had to find an alternative arrangement for her. I didn’t know what it was going to be. I wasn’t exactly telling her the truth when I said I had a plan.
I just didn’t know what it was yet.
All I knew was I had to get her away from me before I fell deeper into this hole of my addiction to her.
So I ran out of the house, striding through the woods trying to collect myself again.
In a matter of just a few days, I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. Who was this guy who woke up in bed next to a woman? Who was this guy who wanted to hold a woman after he’d blown his load in her?
I spent at least forty minutes walking around in circles until I decided to go back.
I knew it was stupid of me to keep leaving her there alone.
Could I truly trust her to stay put? Now that she knew I wasn’t keeping her forever.
Maybe she wasn’t planning on sticking around and I couldn’t blame her. But I couldn’t willingly let her run away either. That would truly fuck everything up.
When I walked through the door, I could already smell the chicken cooking in the oven.
Reese made dinner.
I could picture myself walking through that door, night after night, to the smell of a delicious home cooked meal that filled the house. To most people, that thought would have been heartwarming, but to me that thought was scary.
I’d never pictured my future as anything other than being alone.
Reese was reading a comic book at the table, and she looked up when I walked into the kitchen.
While I poured myself a glass of water from the faucet, I heard her breathe in deeply. I knew her well enough by now to know she was preparing to say something.
“Killian, I need to know why you’re doing this,” she said.
I turned to her, not sure what she was asking.
“Why you’re torturing yourself and me in the process. What happened to your mother was not your fault,” she said.
* * *
I stared at her. Almost blankly.
Reese had just answered a question I hadn’t asked her. A question I hadn’t asked anybody yet.
I’d always wanted to know the answer to it though.
Was it my fault?
Did I do it? Did I kill my mother?
Wh
at could I have done to stop her murder? What could I have done differently to protect her? What would my father have done if he was in the house that night?
Did my family trust me since that night?
Reese watched me intently while I just stood there, unmoving.
“Killian.” She said my name very softly, walking towards me. Her voice was like a soothing balm. It was like I had all these burning wounds on my body I wasn’t even aware of.
She didn’t touch me, but was close enough to do it if she wanted to.
“You have to allow yourself to love again.”
I met her eyes in surprise. What was she saying?
That she loved me?
Did I love her?
Would I ever admit it?
Reese didn’t look away.
“I know what you had to go through was horrible. I lost a mother too. I’ve lost other people. I know what it feels like. But that doesn’t mean I can never love again. I have to accept the fact that their deaths weren't my fault.”
Was she putting the same magic spell on me that she did on Isabelle? She was really good at it, because I was actually starting to see reason now. What she said made sense.
“You were very young, Killian. You were outnumbered. More importantly, you were asleep. You can’t change those facts.”
She hit the nail on the head with every word. I was so taken aback by how accurate she was that I had goosebumps on my arms.
I could feel her breath falling on me. I just wanted to hold her. I needed to feel her touch.
“You’re a man now. You’re braver, stronger and wiser. You can protect the people you love. You just have to let yourself love.”
I wished I could ask her what she meant. Did she think I was in love with her? Was she in love with me?
How fucked up was that?
A part of me wanted to protest and declare I didn’t have feelings for her. She was being stupid by making that assumption. It was the defensive part of me. The one that wanted to protect myself.
There was also the other part of me that wanted to pull her in and kiss her because of how beautiful she was. Because of how accurately she understood me.
Nobody before her had the balls to talk to me like this.
Somehow, Reese knew exactly what to say.
Just then my phone rang and once again, I saw my father’s name on the screen.
“Shit.” I cursed under my breath.
He was going to want to know if I made progress. If I’d found Reese. I would have to say no to both those questions.
I had a feeling I was walking on thin ice at this point—as far as my family was concerned.
* * *
I took the phone call in my bedroom this time.
I didn’t want a repeat of last time when Reese overheard what I was saying.
The phone call was good timing because our conversation had gotten too intense back there. I needed a break from her and all the things she had to say.
“Yes,” I spoke gruffly into the phone.
“Listen, son, I thought you needed to hear this from me. Connor is dead.” My father spoke abruptly. I tried to look for any hidden emotions in that statement but none appeared.
I couldn’t tell if he was going to be negatively and emotionally affected by his brother’s death.
“Fuck,” I growled.
This was good news. It was exactly what I needed to hear, but I wasn’t expecting it to happen this soon. It was a fuckin’ relief.
I sat down with a thump on the edge of my bed.
“Yeah, apparently they did everything they could to keep him going. He even came out of his coma.”
I stopped moving when I heard those words. Connor came out of his coma? For how long? What did he say? Those were the questions I wanted the answers to, but I had to tread carefully.
I didn’t want to make my father suspicious.
“Okay. Well, that’s shit. I guess we need to arrange a funeral.” I tried to keep it cool.
My father sighed and I could picture him shaking his head.
“Yeah, fuck that, what I care about more is finding out what really happened to him that night.”
“I’m working on it,” I replied.
“And yet, I don’t see any progress.”
There was something in the tone of my father’s voice that suggested he may have known more than he was letting on.
I clenched my jaws and tried to steady myself.
“Yeah, the scene is pretty empty. I have very little to work with here.”
“The last time we spoke, you said you had an idea where the girl might be.”
“It was a false lead. Didn’t go anywhere.”
I said that to him the last time we spoke to get him off my back. To give him the impression I was actually working on it.
My father groaned under his breath in disapproval.
“You’ll be the first to know when I find out anything. I’m keeping my ear to the ground,” I continued.
“Killian. Shut the fuck up and tell me the truth.”
“I am…” I tried to say but my father interrupted.
“I was there when Connor came to. Thankfully, I was the only one in the room. He grabbed my wrist like he was trying to cling to me. He said I was a shit boss because I couldn’t keep my own sons in line.”
I pressed the phone closer to my ear. Everything seemed still in the room. I didn’t move a muscle either.
“He said he saw you and that girl running away before he passed out. After she shot him. He said you were working together.”
* * *
My fear had come true before I could do anything about it. Connor told my father pretty much exactly what happened, and no matter how much I denied it, he would know the truth.
So there was only one thing left for me to do.
“Yeah, I helped her,” I said.
A strong sigh left my father’s throat. I heard it loud and clear over the phone. I couldn’t tell what it was—disappointment? Anger? Frustration?
His oldest son had fucked up again. Fucked it up for the family.
“I needed to get her away from Connor. I knew what he did to women.”
“And that affects you how?” my father asked.
“Do you know what he did? Why his wives mysteriously disappeared? What he did to the chicks he took home for the night?” I was rambling and pacing around my bedroom.
My father was silent for a while, but eventually he spoke.
“I heard rumors but he never did it in front of me. I never asked.”
“I couldn’t let the girl go with him. I wasn’t going to stand by and allow him to marry her. I’d be cutting her life short.”
“And now my brother is dead.”
“She is twenty-four. She’s way too young.”
“Did you hear what I said, Killian? My brother is dead and you orchestrated it.”
“Be honest with yourself, Dad. How much of a shit do you actually give that he is dead? I know you never got along with him. I know he pulled some shit on you too. And if Ma…if she was alive, would she have stood for the way he treated women?”
I spoke through clenched teeth and I was sure my father could hear the venom in my voice. I needed him to see the full picture. Maybe if he met Reese…maybe if he saw what I saw, he would have done the same. Any man would have done the same.
“Don’t bring up your mother,” my father sighed.
I rubbed a hand over my face repeatedly till it started to feel raw.
“I wanted to help the girl and give her some hope.”
“You wanted her for yourself,” my father snapped.
“Yes. I did. But that wasn’t the only reason I helped her.”
We were both silent after that.
“Where is she now?” he asked after several moments.
“At my place. In the woods. I’ve kept her here this whole time.”
I didn’t know what he would say next. Was he going to declare a punishment
for allowing Connor to die? I was supposed to be his bodyguard for the night.
“It doesn’t matter now. We have to return her to Aldo,” he said.
* * *
What the fuck.
That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
“She’s not going back to that guy,” I snapped.
My father sounded like he was already losing patience.
“You have already made too many decisions yourself, son. Decisions that are going to be affecting this family for a while. Time to step back. You’ve had your fun.”
I wanted to break something with my hands. Punch the wall.
Was that what my father thought it was? That the last few days had all just been fun and games?
I did have fun with Reese, but it wasn’t the kind he was referring to.
“I’m taking responsibility for her now, and she’s not going back to him,” I growled.
She hadn’t given me the full picture. I didn’t know exactly what their relationship consisted of. What he had done to her in the past.
However, I did know how he treated her. I saw it the night she was thrown at Connor. She didn’t deserve to be treated that way and it was exactly what I’d promised I’d keep her safe from.
“Aldo already knows Connor is dead. He doesn’t know how. Not yet. But he’s going to find out. He’s going to want the girl back and we have no choice but to give her to him. She belongs to him.”
I gripped the phone tightly until my knuckles felt like they would pierce the skin.
“I’ll marry her,” I said.
My father was too taken aback to reply immediately. I wasn’t expecting that either.
My world was spinning the fuck out of control.
“You want to marry this girl? Boy, she has done a number on you.” He wasn’t kidding around. He actually sounded sorry for me.
“I’ll marry her if that’s what it takes to keep her away from him. At least temporarily, to get him off her back. It’ll keep the families united just like you and Aldo want.”
My father clucked his tongue.
“It won’t work, son. He only agreed to Connor because he was next in line to me. Your position means nothing to him.”
