by Unknown
‘Sorry, Giles. I had a terrible night’s sleep. I was just churning over the programme for the Wales trip.’
‘Ah, well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.’
That doesn’t sound like a great tone. It sounds like the tone he used when he wanted me to renegotiate the ration packs for Gunther with the scary sergeant major. Trying to explain exactly what kind of rehydrated food a vegan could eat didn’t go down very well, which I’m guessing will be exactly like the food when Gunther tries to eat it.
‘What about it?’ I say a little curtly.
‘Well Gunther can’t make the fourth.’
And this is bad news? Our CEO can’t make it and now the biggest thing I will have to worry about will be whether or not the sales directors attempt to smuggle booze in like they did the year before last. Pot-holing with a whisky hangover is quite possibly the most pain I’ve ever experienced. At least it was dark in the caves.
I’m about to do a victory lap of the office with this wonderful news when I realise that Giles has carried on talking.
‘So we’ll have to move the trip to another date.’
‘Move the date?’ I say slowly, trying to process what Giles is saying.
‘Yes, Gunther can do the week after.’
Can he now? That’s fantastic! Screw the fact that we’ve got thirty-four other members of staff coming, and we’ve already organised minibuses, catering options not to mention the team-building itself with the scary sergeant major. But if Gunther can do the week after, we’ll just have to move it!
‘Um, I don’t think it’s entirely practical to change it at this late stage. I mean, everyone has agreed to come. Don’t forget, people have lives outside of work and other commitments. Childcare, for instance.’
And I’ve got a flipping wedding to oversee the week after. I don’t think Henri would be too impressed if I was MIA the week of the wedding.
‘I know, Penny, I know. This isn’t exactly ideal timing for me either, you know. But Gunther’s asked us to look at it, and as the CEO, we sort of have to do what he says.’
‘But what if it can’t be moved?’
‘I think you’ve got to get it changed, Penny. Gunther’s very keen to come.’
‘But what if—’
‘Penny, I think you should give it a go, you never know it may not be as difficult as you might imagine. And, besides, if you were an HR supervisor then you’d have to deal with problems like this and overcome them all the time.’
Is that Giles trying to give me a kick up the arse – do this or don’t get the promotion? I know he’s right. I’m just overtired and sulky.
I look up at Shelly as I can see she is keeping a straight face, but there is just a hint of a smug smirk breaking out across it too. In contrast to my dismal planning, Shelly’s appraisal overhaul is going well. She’s got the design team doing a pilot scheme, and so far the feedback’s been encouraging.
‘I’ll get on it right away,’ I say.
‘Excellent. Just come and let me know how you got on.’
‘OK,’ I say, sighing.
Just when I think I’m getting somewhere, I seem to have to take three steps back. The Wales trip was just coming together nicely and now this happens. I don’t want to phone the scary sergeant major, in case you haven’t already guessed; he scares the bejesus out of me.
‘What are you going to do?’ asks Shelly.
‘I’ve got to get it moved,’ I sigh.
‘Aren’t you tempted to just say you tried but you couldn’t move it?’
‘I’d be lying if I said that hadn’t crossed my mind, but I’ve got to try, what’s the worst that could happen?’
I flick through my contact book and bring up the SSM’s number. I dial it, hoping that he’s out in the field and I’ll just get his answerphone.
One ring. Two rings. Three rings. My heart rate starts to slow down as the possibility of the answerphone seems more likely.
‘Yes, Penny?’
‘Oh, um, hello, Baz,’ I say with a stutter that I haven’t had since I was a teenager when I tried to talk to hot boys at school.
‘I’m just running an orientation exercise, so signal might be a bit dodgy. Now, you’re not phoning about any more vegetarians, are you?’
If I wasn’t so terrified, I’d stifle a giggle at the way he said vegetarians, as if they were some type of diseased individual.
‘No, no more vegans or vegetarians. In fact, no dietary amendments.’
Yet, I add in my head. If we move weeks, the likelihood is that we’ll have to have a change or two, as I’m guessing we’ll be substituting some personnel as not everyone will be able to make it still.
‘Bloody glad to hear that. What did you want then?’
‘Well, there’s been a little change of plan.’
‘What kind of change?’ says Baz.
Uh-oh, there’s the anger in his voice coming out.
‘Well, you know our big boss, Gunther, is coming.’
‘The one who only eats leaves?’
‘The vegan, that’s the one. Well, he can’t actually make it.’
‘Right …’
‘He wants us to move it to the week after, and I told them that it’s probably impossible for you to do as it’s such short notice and I know that it isn’t that simple.’
‘You want to move it to the week after? At this late stage?’
‘I know, I know. Look, if you can’t do it, then we’ll have to keep it. But if there is, you know, any possibility that we could move it on by a week, we’d be so grateful.’
I’ve realised I’m twirling the phone cable around like I’d twirl my hair if I was flirting. I can’t believe I’m trying to use my feminine powers of persuasion to sweet-talk SSM into changing it.
‘Oh, right then. Well, if he can’t make it, then we’ll have to move it. Don’t worry about anyone else and that all the arrangements have already been made.’
‘To be honest that was exactly my reaction at first.’
‘And yet you’re still phoning me to see if I can change it?’
‘Yes,’ I say.
Something flashes through my mind, maybe it’s my inner HR supervisor coming out. Maybe the little talking to from Giles gave me earlier on has stirred something, but whatever it is, I’m suddenly not going to be walked over, SSM or not.
‘Look, Baz, it’s costing us quite a lot to bring all thirty-five of us. We’re paying for your gold package, after all. We’re quite happy to walk away and lose our deposit. I’m sure we’ll find another company that we can do some team-building with.’
There’s a silence on the end of the phone and I’m praying he doesn’t actually call my bluff.
‘I’ll see what I can do. I’ll be back in the office in half an hour, I’ll call you then.’
‘Great, I’ll look forward to it.’
I put the phone down and my hand is ever so slightly shaking. I look up and see that Shelly is staring at me wide-eyed.
‘That was impressive,’ she says, before going back to her typing.
‘Thanks,’ I mumble. It really was quite skilful, wasn’t it? I even impressed myself.
And now all I need to do is twiddle my thumbs for half an hour until Baz calls back.
I’ve got myself into a bit of a pickle. I’m now potentially going to be away the week of Henri’s wedding. It’s not exactly great timing. But, at the same time, even though I’d rather put Princess-on-a-Shoestring and the wedding planning first, I’ve got to remember that I need to plan the most amazing away trip in order to get the promotion. Like it or not, this is my career and this is what pays the bills. Still, I know that doesn’t help Henri and that I’m going to be going AWOL before her wedding.
I’m sure Henri, being the level-headed bride that she is, will be understanding. I’m only going to be in Wales, right? It’s not like I’m going to Timbuktu, or anywhere in a different time zone. I’ll be fully contactable and only a couple of hours away in the c
ar if there was a serious emergency. Yes, I’m sure that Henri will understand.
As I reply to a couple of emails on my computer, my hand sneakily swipes at my phone to check my personal emails. I have been trying to resist the temptation to do this during work hours. I glance over the inbox on my phone and I can feel my heart start to race as I see there’s one from Bridal Dreams. This is a real heart-in-mouth moment, will they have liked my article or are they writing to tell me that they’ve got someone more qualified to write it?
I’m about to click it open when my office phone rings, making me feel extra guilty that I’ve been caught doing something I shouldn’t at work.
‘Good morning, Penny speaking.’
‘Penny, it’s Baz. Good news, you can do the week after.’
‘Great, that’s perfect. Thank you so much.’
‘But there are a few changes,’ says Baz.
‘Right,’ I say, not liking the sound of the word ‘changes’.
‘The first thing is that we can’t do it in Wales, it will have to be at our South Downs centre, in Sussex.’
‘Well that’s great for us, it’s much closer,’ I say, thinking that it may be a couple of degrees warmer too.
‘Right, so it will be the Thursday and Friday.’
Friday? I’ve got to be back on Friday to set up the marquee in the late afternoon. Henri really will kill me if I’m not there.
‘Er, is there any way that we can do it slightly earlier in the week?’ I say, wincing.
‘Penny, you’re bloody lucky that I’ve been able to move it at all. We’re chocka for the rest of the summer with kids’ groups, so you’ll have to take it or leave it.’
I’m torn between Henri’s wedding and pleasing Giles and Gunther. In the end, it’s Mark’s voice I hear in my head and I know what I have to do.
‘Take it,’ I shout. ‘I’ll take it. Thanks, Baz. I’ll let you know if there have been any changes to personnel and I’ll get the relevant new consent forms and dietary requirements sorted out.’
Baz’s sigh nearly bursts my ear drum.
‘Penny, just pick people that eat normal things. No one with allergies, no more vegans, all right?’
‘I’ll try my best.’ I try and imagine the email in my head. Staff wanted for team-building away trip on South Downs. Must be free to come 11–13 July. Must be willing to put yourself through hell. Must be good at taking instructions and must not have any special dietary requirements or allergies. I’m sure that’s not breaking any discrimination laws at all.
‘Speak later.’
The dial-tone rings through my ears and I place the receiver down.
‘Success?’ asks Shelly.
‘Yeah, not ideal in terms of dates for me, but I’m not the important one, right?’
Shelly smiles at me in solidarity and I get up from my desk to go and deliver the good news to Giles.
I knock on the door and wait to enter the office.
‘Come in,’ he bellows.
I open the door and Giles looks up.
‘So, Penny, do you bring me good news?’
‘I do, Giles,’ I say in a smug voice, sitting down opposite him.
‘Excellent. Gunther will be happy with us. Is it still Wednesday and Thursday?’
‘Unfortunately that wasn’t possible. It will be Thursday to Friday.’
‘Oh right, that’s not great for me.’
Me neither, I scream in my head. If Giles wants me to change it to suit his bloody plans, he’s got another thing coming. If I’m ruining my plans, then he is too.
‘Well, it was all they could do. Baz, I mean, Barry, the man who runs it, says that they are fully booked from then on with children’s courses as it’s the school holidays.’
‘Ah, of course. I’m sure it will be fine. I might just drive up in my own car and sneakily leave a little bit earlier on the Friday. That would be all right, wouldn’t it?’
‘I’m not entirely sure what sort of message that sends to everyone on a team-building trip away, that one of the company directors drives themselves and leaves early when other people probably would want to too.’
‘I know, you’re right, Penny. But that Saturday is my daughter’s wedding.’
‘Oh right,’ I say. I start to break out in a cold sweat as I have this crazy thought – what if Giles is Henri’s dad? ‘Where’s she getting married?’
‘A big hotel in the country,’ says Giles, grinning.
I sigh with relief and I almost laugh at myself at how ridiculous an idea that would have been.
‘How are her plans coming along? Only a month to go, is she all sorted?’
‘I think so, to tell you the truth I’ve kept well out of it. She’s got one of these fancy wedding planners from London, very hard to get, you know the type.’
I do indeed. The type that would laugh at any of my Princess-on-a-Shoestring reader’s wedding plans.
‘Sounds like it’s going to be quite the wedding,’ I say.
‘I’m sure it will be. Harriet’s got excellent taste, just like her old dad.’
I smile at Giles. Every so often he goes slightly soft around the edges, but I try and make the most of it as it never lasts long before he goes all business mode again.
‘Well, if it’s anything like the lead up to my wedding,’ I say with rose-tinted glasses, ‘it’s the most exciting time. Everything falling into place and the anticipation.’ The fear that your husband-to-be isn’t going to turn up to the ceremony as he finds out you’ve gambled away the wedding budget and that you’ve been lying for months. ‘A magical time,’ I say.
‘I’m sure it is. Right, so can you email Gunther’s PA and tell her about the new dates? Then I take it you’re going to check everyone else can still come?’
I swallow at the fact that I’m being allowed to liaise directly with Gunther’s PA, as so far Giles has been keeping that privilege at arm’s length. I start to feel a warm glow come over me; does this mean that Giles is beginning to trust me?
‘Absolutely,’ I say, nodding. ‘I’ll email everyone now.’
‘Excellent.’ The glasses are back on and I’m well practiced that this is my cue to leave.
All I have to do now is break the news to Henri. The event finishes at three p.m. on Friday and, as long as we’re on the road by five, we should make it back for me to get to the little village where Henri’s having the wedding by seven. That’ll be all right. I may be a little exhausted from two days of hiding from the sergeant major, but I’ll be there, that’s the main thing. I’m sure that if Giles is desperate to get home, he’ll probably try and make sure that everything is chivvied along as quickly as it can be.
I sit down at my desk and start to compose the email to those staff members who are supposed to be coming, then I remember that I have an email from Bridal Dreams waiting for me:
Penny,
Loved the feature! Thanks for sending it over.
We’ve been talking in the office, and how would you fancy doing a regular column, a sort of agony aunt feature? Brides write in with an expensive idea for their wedding and they ask you how they can have a cheaper alternative, and you provide said alternative?
It would be about two hundred words a month, so at our freelance rate of twenty-five pounds per one hundred words you wouldn’t get rich, but we would add your blog links etc.
Let me know what you think and we can start it off in the same edition as your article.
ATB
Jane
I have to read the email twice to make sure that I’ve read it correctly. Bridal Dreams want me, Penny Robinson, to be an agony aunt. I start to feel light-headed and I desperately want to tell someone, but it’s another hour until lunch, and I can’t risk calling Mark whilst I’m at work in case Shelly bat-ears overhears.
‘You look happy,’ says Shelly.
‘Yeah, you know it’s great when your hard work pays off,’ I say.
Shelly’s nodding knowingly.
I take
a deep breath and go back to my email about the former Wales trip. This is all going to work out fine. I’m an agony aunt now, a proper grown-up dispensing advice. I was getting worked up over nothing about the away trip and Henri’s wedding clash. I’m still going to be there Friday evening. And, to tell you the truth, the week before the wedding there’s probably not a lot to do in terms of planning, because as long as I do my job properly, it will all have been done by the time it gets to that stage anyway.
In fact, I probably don’t even need to tell Henri until nearer the time. There’s no point in upsetting her now, is there? After all, I want to keep her as calm as possible and make sure her inner bridezilla doesn’t rear its ugly head too much. Yes, it will be much better to tell her in a few weeks when everything is running like clockwork and, that way, she’ll realise it isn’t a big deal.
chapter fifteen
princess-on-a-shoestring top tips:
Don’t Neglect your HTB
As a bride-to-be it’s very easy to be all consumed when planning a wedding. Especially if you’re doing it on a shoestring and always surfing the net trying to find the cheapest option available. But one thing to remember is that you don’t want to turn up on your wedding day and realise that it’s the closest you’ve stood to the groom in a while. Make time for each other in the run-up to the wedding, and make a pact not to talk about the big day on your dates. Instead, enjoy each other’s company and remind yourself why you’re getting married in the first place. If the planning gets stressful, those little dates will make it seem all worthwhile.
Tags: keep romance alive, date night, neglect.
‘Are you nearly ready, Pen? I thought we could go for a drink first if you are.’ Mark shouts up the stairs to me.
‘Almost.’
Mark’s eyes are going to pop out of his head when he sees me. I’ve gone all-out wearing a special outfit for our date tonight. Earlier this week, Mark put in a formal complaint to me that he hadn’t seen a lot of me lately. It’s true, I’m failing miserably in the wife stakes. Back in our pre-married days, we decided that we were going to have a weekly date night, only I can’t remember the last time we did it.
