Lizzy cocked an eyebrow and I could tell she caught what I was implying. "I guess that's a good point…" She swayed her head like she was weighing what to say next.
"But?" It was my turn to prod.
"Is getting into a relationship with someone to fill respective parenting roles for your kids a good enough reason to be with someone?" I gave her a confused look, and she rolled her eyes. "Are you just considering dating Derrick because his kid needs a mom and Jack needs…" She trailed off, not wanting to say it out loud in front of Jack. I cringed, remembering those were my exact thoughts while I was sitting next to Derrick. My hesitation gave her all the answer she needed.
"I wonder what Caden would think if you started dating," she mused.
"He would probably be happy for me." Right?
"Honey, denial doesn't suit you," she said. "You're much too smart. Try again."
"Lizzy, you've got to get off this Caden and me kick you have. We are seriously just friends. You hang out with him just as much as I do. Has he hit on me or implied in any way that he has feelings for me?" I challenged.
She crossed her arms and pursed her lips. "Explain why he's been suspiciously groupie-less the past couple months."
"I don't know, but it has nothing to do with me." Talking about Caden was beginning to annoy me, especially since it reminded me that I hadn't heard from him since yesterday. I would normally have at least a few random texts from him by now. I huffed out an irritated breath and double checked my phone. Nope, nothing. I could see Lizzy eyeing me with a grin playing at her lips.
By Monday morning I pulled into the parking lot with a sick feeling in my gut. I hadn't heard from Caden at all since Saturday and I didn't really want to find out why. I walked into the library and was surprised to find that he was nowhere to be seen. I found Ryan and Taylor sitting at a table drinking coffee and cramming for a test that I would guess was in the next hour or so.
"Hey, guys." I smiled as I walked up to them.
"Oh. Hey, Kitrina," Taylor said, lifting his gaze from his text book.
"Help." Ryan pouted, banging his head against the table.
"Judging by this little display I'm going to guess that you two went to the frat party instead of studying for a test that you're clearly not ready for." I used my best 'mom' voice.
"You know us too well." Taylor sighed.
"Help," Ryan repeated, his head still face down on the table. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.
"Okay, what subject?" I tried to put as much disapproval in my tone as possible, but I couldn't hide my amusement.
"Psychology," they said in unison.
"Oh, no sweat. If you guys want to shadow me while I work I can help you out. I helped Caden with his flash cards for this test last week."
Both of their heads shot up and they smiled at me like I was the angel of mercy. I laughed and headed toward my cart of books. I could hear the chairs almost tip over as they rushed to follow me.
I put books away while I quizzed them. Caden was such a good student; his flashcards were so thorough and detailed that I inadvertently learned a lot. Hell, I could pass this test. By the time they had to head to class, they seemed significantly less panicked.
"Thanks, Kitrina. We owe you big." Taylor punched my shoulder.
"Have I told you lately that I love you?" Ryan grabbed my face and smacked a loud kiss on my cheek; I laughed and batted him away. I chuckled to myself as they ran to their class. I turned to get another cart of books and found Caden leaning up against the counter staring at me. I couldn't read the look on his face. He wasn't smiling, but he wasn't scowling either. I mustered up a weak smile as I walked over to him.
"What was that about?" Caden nodded to the front door where Taylor and Ryan had just run off. Now he was scowling.
"Oh that." I waved it off. "I just helped them last minute cram for a test."
Caden's frown deepened. "He kissed you." He folded his arms as if waiting for an explanation.
"He was kidding around. Come on, Caden, be serious." I rolled my eyes.
"I'm dead serious." He held my gaze. Okay, now was confused. enough was enough.
"What's with you?" I returned his frown as I crossed my arms. "You were all weird on Friday, then you don't go to that frat party that I knew you were looking forward to. I don't hear from you, then you get all bent out of shape because our friend was goofing around?" I waited for a response but he stayed silent.
After what seemed like forever, he blew out a resigned sigh and ran a hand through his hair. "This girl, Amanda, asked me out." he lifted a shoulder, "I said yeah."
I rocked back on my heels. My face must have looked like I just got slapped because he immediately dropped his gaze. I didn't have any right to feel the pang of jealousy, but there it was.
"I…um," I stammered. "That's…that's awesome, Caden." I tried to sound sincere, but was failing miserably.
"It doesn't change anything." He brought his eyes back to mine. "We're still friends." He gave me a look like he was waiting for me to reassure him. I tried to shake off the feeling that I just got punched in the gut and nodded.
"Of course," I said with a nervous laugh. "Don't' be silly." I managed to give him a playful swat on the shoulder as I turned to head for the cart of books. Caden left the library. I knew he didn't have a class now, but I figured he felt just as awkward as I did. Or maybe he left to go see Amanda. My stomach churned at the thought and I cursed myself for my ugly jealousy.
The rest of the day went by miserably slow. I gave myself pep talks repeatedly throughout the day and was getting pretty sick of my own inner dialogue. Lizzy skipped in the library blowing bubbles with her gum and sidled up to me.
"Hey, sweet thang!" She smacked my butt. "How goes it?"
"It goes," I muttered.
"Ruh-Roh." She took in my less than jubilant demeanor. "Why such a sad panda?"
"Apparently Caden has a new girlfriend." I didn't bother hiding my annoyance.
Lizzy gaped open mouthed at me; I thought her gum was going to fall out. "Who?" Her eyes were saucer wide.
"Some chick named Amanda."
"Underwear masquerading as a skirt, Amanda?" she practically shouted in disbelief.
"That's Amanda?" I asked, remembering the rude, barely clothed girl that had asked about Jack. The sick feeling I had in my stomach all day started to rise in my throat. "I think I'm gonna throw up." I leaned against the bookshelf.
"Am I mistaken, or is Kitrina 'Caden-and-I-are-just-friends' Mathews Jealous?" she said in mock disbelief. I rolled my eyes and pushed myself off the bookshelf to finish my work.
"In all seriousness though, Kitrina," she grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me to face her, "do you want me to shank her? I can make a shiv out of my lipstick in three minutes flat," she deadpanned. That brought a giggle out of me.
"Would you think less of me if I said yes?" I pouted.
"That's my girl." She pulled me into a tight hug. I buried my face in her hair and sighed.
By the time my shift was over, I grabbed my purse from behind the counter and dug for my phone. I had two text messages. The first one was from Derrick.
Playdate this weekend?
The second was from Caden.
Rachel or Monica?
I felt a small smile tug at my lips. He was reaching out, letting me know he still wanted our friendship. I texted him back.
Rachel. Duh.
My phone buzzed within seconds.
Atta girl ;)
I exhaled a small sigh of relief; maybe this is for the best. As long as we stayed friends everything would be fine. I felt a bit more encouraged as I texted Derrick back.
Absolutely. Hang out at my place, I'll make lunch?
By the time I reached my car my phone buzzed.
Sounds great!
I texted Derrick my address and a good time to come over, then got in my car to go pick up Jack.
Jack and I walked into the apartment to find lizzy sitting on th
e couch with the coffee table completely covered in comfort food. I gave her an appreciative smile. She was the best friend a girl could ever ask for.
"Izzy!" Jack ran to her and gave her a quick hug before he turned to the coffee table full of yummies and started rummaging.
"How ya doin', kid?" She smacked my back as I sat beside her.
"I'm fine." I paused for a second. "Derrick and his son are coming over this weekend. I'm going to make lunch." I nodded, telling myself this was a good thing.
Lizzy eyed me speculatively for a moment. "Good for you." She nodded, and then we both dug into the junk food on the table.
Within twenty minutes my coffee table and floor were covered in crumbs and wrappers. We were pigs. Lizzy picked up the remote and pressed play. Apparently she already had a movie queued up, "Thelma and Louise". Fitting.
I leaned over and kissed Lizzy on the check as we both laughed and opened another bag of chips.
The next day was strange; Caden didn't come into the library at all, which had me worrying that things had already changed. But on Wednesday when he walked into the library, I smiled up at him and tried not to bite the side of my check when I noticed Amanda walking next to him. Holding his hand. The minute our eyes met, he released her hand and gave me a polite smile.
"This is ridiculous," I muttered to myself as I stood up straight and made my way over to his table.
"Hey, guys." I put extra enthusiasm in my voice.
"Hey, Kitrina." Ryan smiled at me like it was a normal day; Mike gave me the guy-nod; Taylor was looking at me like I was a lost puppy.
Caden looked up at me and smiled. "Hey, Kitrina," he said.
Kitrina? Since when did he use my actual name? I ignored the immediate irritation, and shifted my smile to Amanda. If my friendship with Caden was going to survive, I knew I had to make nice. "Hi, Amanda." I was as genuine as genuine could be.
She looked up at me like she hadn't noticed I was there. "Oh, hi, Kaitlyn," She said with a victorious smile. Caden nudged her, which made me smile; at least he would stick up for me…kind of.
After a few minutes of small talk I got back to work. At first I tried to ignore Caden's table, but then I figured I had to get used to it. The more I saw Caden in a relationship the more comfortable I'd be. Right? We had become too good of friends to just throw it away, so I swallowed my absurd anxiety and put on a smile. Caden waved and said 'Bye' to me when he was leaving; I smiled and waved back, but turned my head when I saw him put his hand on the small of Amanda's back to lead her out the doors.
Thursday was a repeat of Wednesday, but at least I was prepared for it. When Friday rolled around, I was more energetic than I had been all week, mostly because I was looking forward to a couple of days off. Amanda was noticeably nicer to me, which made me think Caden had a talk with her, which made me happy. I found myself even sitting at their table on my break and laughing with everyone like it was any other day. I could sense the relief in Caden; he was notably more relaxed and he didn't have trouble making eye contact with me.
"Blah, gotta get back to work." I sighed.
"Oh come on, Kitrina, stay and hang out. Marcy isn't even here," Ryan said, tugging the sleeve of my shirt. Before I could respond I heard my name being called. Everyone at the table turned to see where it was coming from.
"Kitrina Mathews? Is there a Kitrina Mathews here?" A delivery guy was shouting at the front desk. My eyes went from his purple delivery shirt, to his clipboard, to the giant bouquet of flowers sitting on the desk.
"She's right here!" Taylor shouted to the guy. He turned to face us and held up the clipboard. I could see Caden's eyes narrow at the sight of the flowers. I made my way up to the counter and signed. I walked around the desk and pulled the bouquet down to the desk by the computers. I plucked the little white card that was sticking out by some daisies.
Just thinking about you.
Derrick
I couldn't help but smile and I could feel the blush rise in my face. If I had any doubts that Derrick liked me more than just a playdate buddy, they were gone.
Lizzy strolled into the library. She stopped in her tracks and took in the enormous bouquet. Her open mouth slowly morphed into a huge grin. She practically ran to the front counter then swung around it to where I was.
"Let me see, let me see!" She practically yanked the card from my hands. She read it and her eyes lit up. "Awww!" she cooed as she held the card to her heart. I was giggling like a schoolgirl when I snatched it back from her.
I heard someone clear their throat and Lizzy and I looked up. Caden's entire table was gawking at us. Ryan looked amuse, Taylor kept shooting his eyes between me and Caden, Amanda looked indifferent, and Caden looked…pissed.
"Looks like Caden doesn't like the taste of his own medicine," Lizzy whispered in my ear. I didn't think that was the case. Caden had made it blatantly clear that he only held platonic feelings for me, as evidenced by Amanda sitting six inches away from him. I gave him a quizzical look and he turned back to his friends.
"Whatever." I shrugged and leaned over to smell my flowers. They definitely cheered me up after a not so fun week. I dug into my purse and sent Derrick a text.
Thank you! They are amazing.
I dropped my phone back into my purse and shooed Lizzy out from behind the counter. I went to my cart of books with a little bit more pep in my step. I turned to Caden's table and saw he was gone. Taylor was giving me a very pointed look. I shrugged at him and mouthed "what?" he rolled his eyes, shook his head and went back to the book in front of him.
Chapter 7
The next day I put a little bit more effort into my appearance. Derrick and his son were going to show up any minute and I was actually a bit nervous. Of course I couldn't stop thinking about Caden and his strange reaction to the flowers. Although it did ease my mind that he texted me later on that day with some ridiculous Chuck Norris joke. I told him I had never seen Walker Texas Ranger and he again called me un-American. We had a nice little text conversation after that, the longest conversation we'd had in a week.
The knock at the door pulled me from my thoughts and I hurried to answer it. Derrick looked strikingly handsome in his faded jeans and fleece pullover. He had Andrew in one hand and what looked like a plate of brownies in the other. I smiled as I let them in.
Jack came bounding around the corner. "Andy!" he yelled as he ran to Andrew and pulled him to his room to show him his toys. Derrick and I both laughed, but it wasn't lost on either of us that we were now in the living room alone.
I walked to the kitchen to busy myself with cooking. Derrick sat at the barstool on the other side of the kitchen counter.
"Something smells good," Derrick said, making a show of licking his lips.
"Barbequed pulled pork sandwiches and garlic fries for the grown-ups. Chicken nuggets and curly fries for the kiddos."
"Sounds great." He smiled. "So—"
Derrick was interrupted by a knock at the door. I pulled my eyebrows together.
"Expecting anyone?" Derrick asked.
"No…Lizzy is out with her boyfriend." I made my way to the door. I peered through the peephole and tried not to show any reaction as. I smiled nonchalantly, "Hi Caden."
He walked passed me into the living room like he had done a thousand times before. "Hey, Kitrina," he said. "Is Jack around? I have something for him. I found this awesome—" he stopped when he noticed Derrick standing by the kitchen counter. Caden rocked back on his heels and put his hands in his pockets. He looked at Derrick, then me, then back to Derrick. He remained silent, which made the tension in the air that much worse.
Fortunately, Derrick seemed to have the leg up when it came to maturity. He smiled and walked up to Caden with his hand out. "Nice to see you again," he said. "Caden, right?"
"Yeah, that's right." Caden looked at his hand and reluctantly shook it before putting his hands back in his pocket.
Just as I was about to kick him out, Jack surfaced from his room. "Caden!
Caden!" He ran full speed toward him.
Caden's frown immediately vanished and he leaned down to scoop up Jack. "Hey, dude. How's my best buddy?" Caden threw him in the air a couple times.
"Are you here to play with us?" Jack asked with hopeful eyes. My heart cracked a little.
"Nah, not today bud, but I do have something special for you, but you'll get it the next time we hang out." Caden looked up at Derrick and then me. "I think you're pretty busy today, but we'll hang out soon."
I got the distinct feeling he was saying that to Derrick as much as he was Jack. "Thanks for coming by Caden," I said. "I'll talk to you later." I smiled as I walked him to the door.
As soon as Caden left, Derrick gave me an awkward glance. "Are you sure there's nothing—"
"He has a girlfriend," I interrupted him. That seemed to ease his mind. The timer on the oven dinged, and I was grateful for the distraction. I set the kids up at the coffee table and Derek and I ate in the kitchen. The tension eased pretty quickly and we found our way into a comfortable conversation. I smiled when Derek told Andrew not to talk with his mouth full. The rest of the day was pleasant. There still weren't any butterflies or intense feelings brewing inside me, but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe that meant this was healthy and stable.
The kids ended up passing out on Jack's bedroom floor, so Derek and I decided to watch a movie while they napped. We settled on watching a newer action movie I hadn't heard of. Derrick had his arm around me and I leaned into him. Halfway through the movie, Derek began gliding his fingers up and down my shoulder. I knew what was coming next and I didn't mind. Caden was probably doing the same thing—if not more—with Amanda. I instantly shook the thought from my mind. I shouldn't be thinking about Caden when I was about to kiss Derrick.
I tilted my head up and found Derrick looking at me. His eyes were soft and he had a sweet smile on his face. "You really are beautiful," he whispered.
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