“Your heart’s talking to me,” she whispered.
“What’s it saying?” I played along.
“It’s saying it’s time for bed. And that you want to repeat that every day for the rest of eternity,” she said tiredly.
I agreed.
“Oh, yeah?” I asked.
“Mmhmm,” she confirmed.
I pressed a kiss to her forehead and rolled over until my body was curled around hers, using the comfort of her body to chase away my fucked up day.
She didn’t realize it yet, but I was perilously close to keeping her. For now and ever, amen.
Chapter 24
Cry on the inside. Like a winner.
-Coffee Cup
Reese
I sat quietly in the car on the way to the funeral.
The ride was a silent one.
Luke didn’t speak. Downy didn’t speak. Nico and Michael didn’t speak either.
They were all dressed impeccably in their Kilgore Police Department dress blues.
Their hats sat in their laps, except for Luke’s whose was sitting on the console in between us.
We were less than five minutes from our destination, according to our navigation, when I started to see the long line of cars.
My eyes widened as I took in the sheer volume of vehicles, and even more when Luke pulled up behind the nearest car and put it into park.
“What…” I asked in confusion.
Luke looked over at me, his eyes haunted. “We’re not going to find a closer spot. Nearly every officer in the Ark-La-Tex that’s not on duty is here today. Not to mention nearly every member of the different chapters of The Dixie Wardens.”
I blinked and shrugged before opening my door. It’d be an uncomfortable walk, but I wouldn’t complain. Fortunately, I’d chosen my flats instead of heels. Otherwise it would have been a lot worse.
I started walking, following behind a few other uniformed officers. Luke and Michael fell into step on either side of me. The rest were at my back.
This was the first time I’d walked beside Luke for weeks and hadn’t held his hand. The entire thing felt foreign, but I knew he was in his own little world.
He had been since he’d come home the night of the shooting.
Now, seven days later, he still wasn’t acting right.
Honestly, I couldn’t blame him.
Radar had died protecting them, and I’m sure that was a lot to hang on one’s shoulders.
Luke put on a good show for the girls though.
He didn’t even act like anything was bothering him, which was what any man of Luke’s caliber would do.
For me, though, he didn’t put on the act. He was so distant that there were times I wondered if he still wanted me there.
I knew it wasn’t right to be thinking about myself at a time like now, but I couldn’t help it.
I was a negative Nancy when it came to boyfriends.
I always hoped for the best but planned for the worst.
Which was why I’d had an alarm installed at my old house, and I planned on moving back in within the next few days. I’d yet to tell Luke, and I was scared shitless to see his reaction.
I knew he’d be pissed, but I didn’t want to live in sin. That wasn’t teaching my daughter the values that I wanted her to learn.
The same went for Katy, too.
They needed stability in their life, and I didn’t want to be that woman.
The one who moved in and became a convenience to her man. The one who cooked dinner and washed laundry. The one who picked the kids up and watched them while her ‘man’ was out doing his job.
I’d still willingly watch Katy, but it’d be from my house and not Luke’s. I wanted to mean something to Luke. I didn’t want to be a convenience.
Luke peeled off and walked up to a man who was wearing a Dixie Wardens MC cut, and I looked down, very aware of how he never introduced me to anyone. Every time we met someone Luke knew, he let the other person introduce themselves. It was never the other way around.
“Dark thoughts,” Nico said.
I jumped and looked over at the man who taken Luke’s spot at my side and shrugged. “It’s to be expected, isn’t it?”
He didn’t answer, only stared at me.
“You tell him you’re moving back home yet?” he asked, turning to face the street in front of us.
I shivered at the dark, smoky tones of his voice. Nico was beyond delicious.
He was tall with dark, glossy brown hair that was tamed by gel that made it stand on end at the top of his head. His eyes were a deep, warm brown that could turn cold in an instant.
And his smile was devastating.
All of Luke’s team was handsome, but Nico was the type of man who could really make a woman think twice. Especially one such as me who was beyond happy with her man.
I’d never cheat on Luke, but Nico was just plain hot. That was when he wasn’t being scary.
“No, I haven’t told him yet. I’d planned on telling him tomorrow,” I said, not bothering to ask how he knew.
He snorted but didn’t say anything. Bennett, however, did.
“You’re going to make him pissy,” Bennett rumbled.
Bennett reminded me of a big teddy bear. Not because he was soft or anything, but because he was sweet and down to earth.
I wondered constantly what made him want to be a SWAT member.
He didn’t seem the type.
But if he was on Luke’s team, he had to be good. Luke would require nothing less.
I shrugged, unperturbed. “I’m not really big on living in sin in front of my daughter.”
Michael and Downy, who’d been silent up until now, chuckled.
I glared.
Downy held his hands up, but Michael was the one who spoke. “You want a ring?”
I thought about it. Did I want to be married? Was that why I was doing this?
Then I thought about all the things I’d done over Rowen’s life. How I made her Christmas’ special, and how I went all out for holidays and birthdays to give her what she deserved.
No, I was doing it for Rowen. Not for myself.
Sure, I’d thought about marrying Luke, but I didn’t want to force him into it.
I was in love with Luke, there was no doubt about that after the shooting.
I’d been a zombie for two days afterward. Something hadn’t felt right in my heart, and it was only after I’d spoken with my sister about the feeling that she’d enlightened me as to what was going on with my emotions.
‘You’re scared for him. You don’t want anything to happen to him, but you can’t help but worry. That’s normal. It doesn’t fade. However, you learn to live with it. If being on the SWAT team is what he wants to do, then you’ll figure out how to deal with all of that. If you truly love him, that is.’
My sister was a smart cookie.
That was the day I decided that I needed to get my shit in line.
Starting with moving back into my house.
I wanted to date Luke. I wanted to get to know him better. And that wouldn’t happen if all we did was fuck and sleep.
“No,” I finally answered. “Not yet. I want to date him first.”
“Date who?” Luke asked as he came back to us.
Downy intervened for me. “I’ve got a date this weekend. With a chick from the bank.”
“The blonde one?” I asked in surprise.
He shook his head. “No. The brunette.”
I sneered at him. The brunette was a hoe. The blonde looked promising, but of course Downy went for easy instead of worthy. That was his way, I’d found.
Easy and uncaring of his activities. That was our Downy.
“What was that look for?” Luke asked.
I shrugged. “It’s gross, that’s all.”
I’d seen the brunette flirting with the nearly every man in her line while I’d deposited my check la
st week. She didn’t care about Downy. She cared about money, was my guess.
And Downy had money, even if he didn’t act like it.
From what I gathered, Downy had a sizeable monthly income from his father’s life insurance policy. When he’d passed, Downy had gotten nearly a million dollars from his insurance, as well as quite a bit of money from some estate that Downy hadn’t even been aware had existed.
Downy had been flabbergasted from what Luke explained.
Apparently, they’d lived small and simple when Downy was growing up, and it’d been a surprise to him to find out that his mother had money all that time.
The walk proved to be a long one, and by the time we finally made it to the auditorium where it was being held, I was exhausted.
Luke never said another word to me other than the off handed, ‘sit there’ he’d muttered upon arriving in the seating area.
Luckily, it was by my sister, so I wasn’t as snippy about it as I wanted to be.
I gave her a kiss on the cheek when I scooted in close.
“Hey,” I whispered softly.
She hugged me back. “Hi.”
I waved to my mother and father who were two rows in front of us, and my mom’s face went soft when she saw us embracing.
I blew her a kiss and settled in as the ceremony commenced.
The awards that Radar had received over his time with the Benton Police Department were staggering. He was a true hero in this small town, and always would be.
“A lot of years ago, when I made the decision to become a K-9 handler, I never thought I’d be in this position. I guess I was just kidding myself, I suppose. It’s hard to think about death, especially in one so full of life like Radar was. You’d never think that he was eleven years old.” Trance shook his head, then smiled. “It feels like I’m going to wake up,” Trance croaked. “It feels like he’s just outside, and I’m waiting for him to come back in at any moment. But he’s not.”
“When I first got Radar, he was a puppy. He had no training whatsoever. At the time, I’d thought that I’d taken on a Herculean task, trying to train him. However, the joke was on me. He was eager to learn and eager to please. It was me who’d had to do all the learning. And learn I did. I learned that he snored. I learned that he got overly excited when I got up in the morning, and if I valued my toes, I’d best be putting shoes on. I learned that his tail hurt when it was wagging at a hundred wags a minute. I learned that he was as warm as a heating blanket when he was draped over you at night. And he was worse than the kids when it came to stealing the covers. I also learned what it was like to love someone so much it hurts. Because right now, it hurts so bad,” he said, pressing his palm down over his chest.
Trance looked down. “My wife took about eighteen million pictures of Radar hopping into the bath with our son last week. What eleven-year-old dog do you know who would play in bubbles as if he were a puppy?”
I smiled warmly, thinking about our childhood dog who used to do much the same.
“My wife’s life was in danger a few years ago, and Radar saved her. I owe him my whole life for that one act, because if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have Viddy. And I wouldn’t have my children. And for that, I’ll forever owe him. I hope when I pass on from this life, that he’s there waiting for me. It breaks my heart to know he’s not here anymore, but I knew he died doing what he loved. Serving and protecting. He’ll be missed by everyone, but no one more so than me. I love you, Radar; wait for me.”
My throat felt like a ball had been caught in it, and I leaned my head against Luke’s shoulder.
My other hand was taken up by my sister, who sat on the other side of me.
I clutched her hand tightly as we watched Trance walk down the stage’s steps and take a seat next to his weeping wife.
She curled into his arms, and my eyes closed, not wanting to witness the devastation in her sobbing form. It felt like the moment was too intimate, as if I wasn’t meant to watch it.
Luke’s lips touched my forehead gently, and my eyes opened again.
With that one touch, I was okay.
My hair shifted off my shoulder as I looked up to him and smiled. He didn’t look down, but there was a small smile at the corner of his mouth, acknowledging me.
I settled back into my seat as one by one, officers from all over the Ark-La-Tex said their final goodbyes.
Kosher held vigil at the base of the doggie sized coffin at the front of the room, a soldier protecting the fallen until he was laid to rest.
Soon, it was our row’s turn, and we followed the wave of people.
I said a silent prayer when I got up to the coffin, and thanked Radar for his sacrifice.
If he hadn’t done what he’d done, I might not have the man that I love at my side, and I’d forever be thankful to Radar for the sacrifice he made.
Chapter 25
Do all things with kindness, you fuckers.
-Coffee Cup
Luke
My eyes lingered on Reese’s ass as she walked out of the house with the girls two weeks later.
She was going to school and taking the girls as she went.
She was taking my truck because I was putting the finishing touches on repairing her car before I took it to get painted later in the day.
I was meeting her father in less than two hours, so as soon as she waved and pulled out of the driveway, I locked the front door and headed to the garage.
She’d been using my truck for two weeks now, much to my consternation. She wouldn’t have had to if she hadn’t moved back home.
I’d tried talking with her until I was blue in the face, but she wasn’t having it. She wouldn’t even listen to a word I had to say.
Although we spent most nights together, either her place or mine, it wasn’t enough. I wanted her here with me permanently. Which was the most shocking.
I wasn’t usually so needy when it came to women, but Reese really had a way about her that called to some deep, dark place inside of me.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I answered it before I looked at the caller ID.
Because if I had, I wouldn’t have answered it.
And I would’ve died.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Luke, don’t hang up,” Lydia pleaded.
There was a certain amount of desperation in her tone that really kept me from hanging up.
I squeezed my eyes shut. “What do you want?”
“I need to talk to you. The other day…when the dog died…it wasn’t random. It was meant for you.”
***
Reese
The plan worked out perfectly.
Luke fell for the entire charade: hook, line, and sinker. All I had to do now was surprise him.
I pulled his truck to the side of the road about a quarter mile away from his house before I shut it off and got out.
I slammed the door shut and started walking quickly to Luke’s house.
All sorts of scenarios were playing through my head as I rounded the corner of Luke’s driveway on how we’d spend our day off. What I hadn’t planned on was finding someone there when I arrived. I mean, geez, but it’d only been less than thirty minutes since I’d left!
A ball of worry started to take root in my belly, and my fears were confirmed as I walked up to the open garage door.
I stopped outside the opening, listening.
“She needs me. You don’t. It’s nice to have a woman whose father doesn’t emasculate me around every corner,” Luke said to somebody.
That somebody being Lydia.
“She can’t give you what you want. I can. And you know that,” Lydia insisted.
I heard something shuffle behind me, and I turned just as Weston rounded the corner of the garage, his eyes on me.
I met him halfway, eyes full of hatred.
“What are you doing here?” I hissed.
He grabbed me by the elbow and
pulled me until we were back where he’d been standing earlier. There was a window there, and you could see Luke and Lydia speaking, as well as where I’d been standing prior.
“I said,” yanking my arm away. “What are you doing here?”
“Saving your ass, if you’d shut the hell up,” Weston snapped, raising his finger to his lips.
I snapped my mouth shut and glared at him, raising my eyes for him to get on with it.
“My wife’s a fuckin’ psycho,” he said without preamble.
I raised my eyebrows at him. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I mean really; she’s fuckin’ psycho.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and started tapping my foot.
He sighed. “She found out I’d been seeing someone, but she thinks it’s you; not Lydia. She’s the one who shot at Luke the other day.”
My mouth dropped open, and I started to yell. Except I found my mouth covered my Weston’s hand.
“Shh,” he hissed.
I bit his hand, and he yanked it away with a growl. “Listen, you stupid little bitch, I’m trying to save your fuckin’ life!”
I snorted. “Then go to the authorities.”
His fists clenched. “I am the authorities.”
I scoffed. “You’re full of it.”
In answer, he pulled something flat out of his pocket. A wallet.
He flipped it open and showed me a badge that read ATF on it.
I couldn’t fucking believe it. “You’ve got to be shitting me.”
He shook his head. “I’m not.”
I stepped back until my back hit the brick wall. “I can’t believe this. How long have you been with ATF?”
He crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged. “Since before I met you.”
I smacked him. Hard.
His face turned with the blow, and he turned back to me slowly. “That’s all you get.”
I wanted to beat his face in.
All this time!
“I just can’t believe it. All this time I thought you were some deadbeat dad, and you’ve been lying to us both!” I said, my voice raising an octave.
He grimaced. “I didn’t have much choice. I’d been working undercover when I met you. Nothing was supposed to come of our relationship. I didn’t have any control over how everything went down.”
Code 11- KPD SWAT Box Set Page 17
