What the absolute fuck?
Needless to say, I had a feeling that had a lot to do with Shondra seeing as she was vying for the same job.
Shondra, who was staring at the man that I had a thing for.
Shondra, who was glaring at me like I’d committed some faux pas by talking to Theo.
I wanted to scream, “I saw him first!”
Yet, I managed to control myself. Barely.
“Uh, yeah,” Theo said, his eyes bouncing from me to Shondra and back. “I didn’t realize y’all knew each other.”
Theo looked torn, as if he wanted to invite Shondra to have a seat, but he didn’t want to do that with me sitting there.
I chose to allow them their space and scooted out of the booth without another word.
I’d just placed one foot onto the ground outside of the booth when Theo stopped me.
“No, stay,” Theo suggested. “There’s enough room. Y’all have four more joining y’all, correct?”
I wanted to stay about as much as I wanted a root canal.
“Umm,” I said. “I’m just going to grab a drink. But thanks.”
Theo caught hold of my hand when I would’ve taken off, and I narrowed my eyes at the hand that I’d wished so hard would hold me once upon a time.
It was then, at that moment, that I realized my stupidity.
I’d done everything in my power to get him to notice me. But in the meantime, I’d forgotten that I was worth more than giving one man my sole, undivided attention when he didn’t want it.
I was cheapening myself.
Fooling myself. Telling myself that one day maybe he would notice me.
When I realized he hadn’t once seen me for me.
He’d seen Katy.
He’d obviously seen Shondra.
Who he hadn’t seen was Rowen.
I was invisible to him.
I prayed that he would for once see me as something other than the sister of the woman he once thought he might have a future with.
But that hope was in vain.
Because, once again, he let me down.
How did he do it this time?
By not coming to any of the events that I had invited him to go, because he was ‘busy,’ but somehow made it to Shondra’s.
That was a bunch of horseshit if I’d ever heard it.
I twisted my hand so that my wrist slipped free of his hold, and his eyes narrowed.
Taking a hasty step back, I quickly skirted around Shondra and made my way to the bar.
I would’ve made my way straight the hell outside but just as I was heading out, three of my other co-workers made their way inside and headed straight for me.
“Ohhh!” Macy cried. “You’re here! I’m so happy to see you!”
Macy was the cutest little thing I’d ever seen.
She was small, curvy, and wonderful.
I loved her and she was honestly the saddest thing about leaving this old job behind.
Shondra made my life a living hell, as did Shondra’s best friend, Bridget, who just so happened to side-step me and Macy and head straight to where Shondra and Theo were.
Tillie, Macy’s roommate, waved at me.
“Hi, Rowen,” Tillie said. “Congrats on passing the Bar.”
I smiled then. The first genuine one since I’d walked into the bar and seen Theo.
“Thank you,” I said. “I’m so excited. I can’t believe I’m finally done.”
“You’re free!” Macy laughed. “Come on, let’s get you a drink. What are you having?”
I thought about what I did and didn’t want and then decided to say ‘fuck it’ and drink a margarita.
I wasn’t a big fan of alcohol, to be honest, but every once in a while, I could choke down a single margarita.
After I was done with that, I’d switch over to pineapple juice and hope that nobody noticed.
I wasn’t the best drinker in the world.
With my inability to choke down alcohol and actually enjoy it and my disgust at seeing people go too far when it came to consuming it, I just didn’t see the point.
After ordering and getting my margarita, I walked back to the booth, thankful to see that the girls had filed in, leaving me the outside.
Farthest, thankfully, from Shondra and Theo.
Theo and Shondra were talking quietly, and I tried my best to look anywhere but at them.
The only problem was they couldn’t see that my heart was slowly bleeding out right in front of them.
Trying to distract myself, I started texting my sister, Katy.
Rowen: Get this. Theo is sitting with me at a bar. Only problem is, he came with Shondra.
Katy messaged me back instantly.
Katy: What a bitch. And a dick. I hate them both.
I grinned.
Rowen: I’m drinking a margarita. That should tell you how bad it is.
Katy: You should’ve just taken the shot of tequila. It would’ve hit you harder and gotten it over with faster.
Rowen: How are the babies?
Katy: I just got shit on. Little shit. On my leg. I disinfected it with some counter spray that kills 99 percent of germs.
Rowen: You sure know how to cheer a girl up.
Grinning because she made me happy, I took a long swig of the margarita, and only managed to grimace slightly.
“I thought you didn’t drink?”
Theo’s question had me stiffening.
And I knew that his question was aimed toward me without even turning to look at him.
Instead of answering, though, I ignored him, acting for all I was worth as if I hadn’t heard him at all.
He was all the way at the end of the table.
And there were five other chatty women now at the table with us.
It was safe to assume that I could’ve realistically not heard his question.
But then he had to go and repeat himself, louder this time.
“Rowen,” Theo barked. “I thought you didn’t drink?”
I had no other choice but to turn my head and look at him.
Gritting my teeth, I turned my head slightly to stare at him.
“What?” I asked.
“I thought you didn’t drink,” he repeated slowly as if he was talking to a small child.
I barely refrained from gritting my teeth.
“I drink,” I answered.
Then lifted my margarita glass that was half-filled now.
“Is it good?” Tillie asked curiously. “I’ve never really liked margaritas.”
I thanked Tillie from the bottom of my heart for asking me that question, because it meant I could safely look away from Theo without looking like I was intimidated.
“It’s okay,” I admitted.
And it was.
That was all alcohol ever was to me. Just okay.
I could live with it or without it.
But I’d rather spend the same amount of money on a piece of cake or two cupcakes from my favorite cupcake place.
Absently I started to fuss with my hair, something that I always did when I was nervous, and Shondra’s attention turned to me.
Her eyes evil, she said, “You know, Macy has some hair products that would work wonders on your hair.”
Macy, hearing her chance to pitch a sale, jumped at the chance.
“I’ve heard a lot of good things about this hair product,” Rachel, my other co-worker who’d shown up at one point while I was at the bar, said.
I blinked, surprised.
I hadn’t actually heard anything about it except from these ladies.
In fact, the only thing that I’d heard at all was the name.
Macy was also making hand over fist of money selling it.
Yet I hadn’t heard one positive review outside of Macy since she’d started selling it.
One would think that if a product really was that great, then someone somewhere
would’ve been talking it up.
But they weren’t.
Sadly, Macy had a really good sales pitch, and I couldn’t stop myself.
Thanks, Shondra.
Which was how I offered to buy shampoo and conditioner from her.
“You’ll love it. I promise!” Macy clapped her hands in excitement.
Shondra rolled her eyes.
“Oh, okay,” I said, blinking. “Yeah, sure.”
Macy stood up to clap, her eyes lit with excitement.
“I’ll go get…”
“No, I can go get it.” Shondra stood up, looking considerate. “I have to run out to the car for my wallet anyway.”
Macy easily handed over her keys, and fifteen minutes later, I was the new owner of shampoo and conditioner that cost me fifty-seven bucks per bottle. A bottle that was so small in size that I was curious if it’d even last me past ten washes.
Because Jesus, I had a shit ton of hair, and the bottles sure were small.
“Thanks,” I said, eyeing the bottles. “I appreciate it.”
The rest of the night went a little like the first half.
Shondra rolled her eyes a lot and monopolized Theo’s time. Theo kept glancing at me consideringly.
The rest of the office ladies talked back and forth with each other.
And I texted back and forth with my sister until it was time to leave.
I would’ve snuck out completely, too, had Theo not walked out at some point behind me without me knowing it.
I was almost to my car, keys in my hand, when Theo’s dark voice stopped me.
“You’re not going to say goodbye?”
I swallowed hard and tried not to get pissed.
Instead, I waved my phone in the air and said, “Sorry, gotta return a call from my sister. Have a good one.”
With that, I bleeped the car unlocked, got in, and tried to slam the door.
Only Theo’s hand on the door’s metal frame stopped me.
I gritted my teeth and placed the call to Katy.
“You’re never going to guess where I have my hand right now!” Katy cried out excitedly.
Thank God I had her on speakerphone so she could hear my side.
“Have a good one, Theo,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Hello, Katy,” Theo said.
“Oh, who’s that?” Katy said. “Hey, did you guess where I had my hand yet, Row?”
I loved my sister. I loved her to death.
“Theo,” I answered.
I wasn’t sure if I was saying ‘Theo’ to Katy or to Theo, but either way, it worked on both accounts.
Theo let go of my door and stepped back, a look of surprise on his face at my anger.
I finally closed and locked it, then started it before Katy said, “Are you ever going to guess?”
“In a dead person’s rectum,” I guessed.
Katy snorted. “No, silly. Down her throat!”
I rolled my eyes heavenward.
“Damn, Katy,” I said. “That’s morbid.”
Katy was a medical examiner. She’d graduated from school and had decided that dead people were her jam and hadn’t looked back ever since.
“It’s not morbid,” she said. “There was a note down the woman’s throat. I had to see if I could get it without causing much damage. I did. Thank God I have long fingers.”
“Was she killed?” I asked curiously.
“No,” she said. “Well, not that I’m aware of. She killed herself. She swallowed her suicide note accidentally when she hung herself.”
That was sad.
Really, really sad.
“Damn,” I said. “That’s sucky.”
“Yeah.” Katy sounded distracted. “What the hell was Theo doing there?”
I gave her an instant replay of my night, ending with how he’d followed me outside.
In fact, as I turned to survey the parking lot, I saw him leaning against his department-issued vehicle just staring at me.
I put the car into drive and drove off, happy when he was no longer in my line of sight.
“I’m done, Katy-did,” I said softly. “I’m not going to swim in that particular pool anymore.”
Katy snorted. “Theo’s a good guy, but I’ve been telling you for a while that he’s a bit of a dick. I never realized it before, but holy shit. Logan’s really shown me what it’s like to love someone unconditionally. I didn’t even feel a single bit of that when Theo and I went on our first couple of dates.” She paused. “When Logan took me out, I had these butterflies. They just filled my stomach so completely whenever he looked at me or was near.”
“Do you still get butterflies?” I wondered as I made my way through the still-busy streets of San Antonio.
“Yes,” she said. “Sometimes I just find myself looking at him, or thinking about him…” She sighed.
“You’re kind of disgusting,” I admitted.
She snickered.
“How many more days do you have?” she asked then.
I looked at my watch.
“One, officially,” I admitted. “I was going to give them the cursory two weeks’ notice but… I don’t think I want to stay here anymore.”
My sister’s swift inhale had me smiling.
“Can we come up this weekend and help you move home? Please say yes,” she practically begged.
I rolled my eyes.
“Yes,” I said. “I’m on a month-to-month lease at this point anyway. There’s nothing keeping me here anymore.”
With Theo out of the picture, things were definitely much simpler when it came to staying in San Antonio.
“Congrats on the Bar,” she whispered. “I’m so proud of you, Row.”
I felt my heart leap at her words.
My mom and dad had called earlier in the day to congratulate me, but having it come from my smart as hell sister? That meant the world to me.
“Thanks,” I said.
We continued to talk while she gave me a play-by-play of what she was doing my entire drive home.
It was only as I was pulling into my apartment complex that I said goodbye.
“I going to have to go. I’m here at the apartment,” I said. “My hair needs washed in the worst way.”
Grabbing everything in the seat and shoving it into my large purse, I made my way up to my apartment and barreled inside, still juggling the phone as I listened to Katy about when to expect her.
“Bye,” Katy said. “I love you. Give Boz a kiss for me. See you this weekend.”
After replying with much the same words, I tossed the phone onto the couch and headed for the shower.
I stripped in the laundry room before eyeing all the things I would have to pack up before my sister arrived this weekend.
Honestly, I didn’t have much stuff.
I’d been living out of boxes as it was, not wanting to unpack for some reason.
It was as if my sixth sense somehow knew that I wasn’t going to be staying here that long.
Whatever the reason, I only needed to pack up my closet, some dishes, and blankets.
Other than that, the apartment had come furnished, and none of it was mine.
Other than some household items and everyday shit, I could possibly get by with only four to five boxes from Lowe’s.
Grinning and excited, I headed to the bathroom and turned on the shower.
I frowned at the empty shampoo bottle.
Shit. I’d forgotten to go get more.
I’d meant to stop by on my way home, but Theo’s actions had left me a bit frazzled and confused.
I looked at the small bottles that I’d gotten from Macy that were spilling out of my purse that I’d brought with me from my car, then at my empty shampoo bottle, then decided… fuck it.
I brought it into the shower with me and then cranked the knobs up as high as they would go.
Sadly, it wasn’t much.
&n
bsp; I couldn’t afford the nicest of apartments with my internship at my current lawyer’s office, but thank God that my internship was coming to an end.
I literally only had one more day to go until I was finished.
Until I could find an actual job that would pay me actual money instead of a joke of a salary while I tried to get experience for a job that required ‘on the job experience.’
And, seeing as I couldn’t get that kind of experience without actually being a goddamn lawyer and practicing, I’d had to revert to interning to get the experience that the one law firm I wanted to work at required.
The shampoo smelled off, but I put it out of my mind as I considered what I was going to do next.
Should I apply to the lawyer’s office in Kilgore? I knew that there were a few in Longview, which was a twenty-minute drive from Kilgore. Then there was always Bear Bottom where my sister lived, which was about a fifteen-minute drive in the opposite direction.
I could make it work.
I knew I could.
Feeling much better about my options, I rinsed my hair free of the shampoo, then lathered the conditioner into my hair.
Sadly, I ended up using about half the damn bottle on one shampoo.
Worst purchase ever.
Leaving the conditioner in to soak, I shaved my legs, armpits, and bikini area.
It was when I was finishing up with my ankles that the sensation of burning started to penetrate my head.
I gasped and touched my head, feeling the odd burn, and leaned my head back into the water to see about rinsing it off.
Was my skin having a reaction to the conditioner?
While I was rinsing my hair, I opened the bottle up and frowned.
There looked to be two different kinds of conditioner in the bottle. One a bright orange while the other was a lilac blue.
What the hell?
I frowned and ran my fingers through my hair, thankful that the burn was now disappearing.
Only, when I brought my hand to my face, I saw large clumps of my hair clinging to my fingers.
But it wasn’t enough that I was too freaked out.
Instead, I decided to take some Benadryl, never use the conditioner again, and go to bed. Hopefully by tomorrow, it wouldn’t feel bad any longer.
***
The next morning, I woke up and knew something was seriously wrong.
My head wasn’t just burning today.
Code 11- KPD SWAT Box Set Page 148
