by M. S. Parker
I smoothed non-existent wrinkles from my dress pants and then started for the stairs. Before I took more than half a dozen steps, I caught a glimpse of someone hurrying by. I didn't need a close look to know that it was Julien. He'd seen me, I was sure of it, but now he didn't even look my way, confirming that he didn't want to talk to me.
I scowled. I really hoped this date with Reed would help me figure out what I wanted and that this distance Julien was putting between us would ease the awkwardness. I just wanted to move on with my life, but I had a bad feeling that was going to be easier said than done.
Chapter 3
The first week of December was just as confusing and miserable as I'd feared. Work was fine, if a little boring, but everyone at Madam Emilana's was freaking out. We would be performing pieces from The Nutcracker for a friend of Madam Emilana. Apparently, he was looking for a few girls for various parts in a new version of Phantom of the Opera that he was producing in early summer. Auditions would begin after the first of the year, and rumor had it that any girls who caught his eye now might be getting a personal invitation.
What should have been an exciting announcement was tempered by the fact that the only person I had to share it with was Anastascia. I'd called Julien and left a message for him, telling him about the opportunity, but that had been three days ago and I hadn't heard anything back.
Then, late last night, Anastascia called. The pipes in her apartment had burst, and then the heat had gone out. The combination meant there was no way she could stay there, especially not in December. I, of course, invited her to stay with me. I loved my best friend and, normally, having her at my place for a couple weeks would be a blast. Problem was, I didn't want laughter and distraction. I needed to be able to think and, even when she tried to give me my space, I had a hard time focusing on the problem.
At least she'd helped me pick out the perfect 'I'm not saying I'm interested but maybe I could be' outfit. He'd said casual, which I was glad about since it meant I could wear jeans instead of a dress or skirt. I enjoyed dressing up, but I didn't bare leg in the winter without an insanely good excuse. Tonight, I was wearing my nicest pair of jeans – the kind that hugged my curves without looking painted on – and a clingy sweater that made my eyes look almost like emeralds.
When Reed knocked on the door, Anastascia gave me a look that said she expected a full report when I got home and then headed upstairs to my extra room. I took a deep breath and opened the door. Reed's eyes warmed when he saw me and he held out a bouquet of wildflowers.
“Thank you.” I motioned for him to come in. I was relieved to see that he'd kept it casual as well. Not that he didn't look good. He wore designer jeans with an expensive cut and a fitted long-sleeved shirt that showed off his broad shoulders and chest. He'd gone with a rich, deep red so we looked like we matched to make Christmas colors.
I put the flowers in a vase and set them on my kitchen table, then headed back out to the living room where Reed waited. His hands were in his pockets and it was then I realized that he was as nervous as I was.
“Ready?” He flashed me a charming smile and gestured toward the door.
His car was sitting at the curb, and I wasn't surprised to see that it was the latest BMW model. He wasn't a snob about the money he and his family had, but he didn't go out of his way to downplay it either. And he did like his cars. I smiled as he opened the door for me before hurried around to the driver's side.
“Since we're keeping it casual, I was thinking about Earth Bread and Brewery,” Reed said as he pulled out of his parking space.
“That sounds great,” I said. “I love their flatbread pizza.”
“And I figured a good beer might loosen things up.” He winked at me.
“Good idea.” I began to relax as we drove.
He kept the conversation casual, asking how dance was going and my job. I wasn't sure how to ask him questions about work and his life without bringing up his ended marriage or the fact that his parents had threatened to cut off his company if he didn't marry Britni. I was pretty sure their threat would carry over to divorcing, particularly if it was before they had a kid. So, I let him steer the conversation and didn't push when he skirted around the more serious topics. Once we got into dinner, I'd make sure we discussed the things that needed said, but I was glad we were keeping it light for the moment.
The place was packed, but Reed didn't have a problem getting a table rather quickly. I had a feeling the Stirlings rarely had issues pulling strings to get reservations. As we started up the stairs, I could feel Reed's eyes on me as I went in front of him. I wondered what he was thinking. Was he just admiring the view or was he remembering what it had felt like to have his hands on me? Heat flooded me, chasing away the last of the winter cold.
When we reached the top, the hostess smiled at us and asked us to follow her. Not surprisingly, her gaze lingered on Reed a bit longer than me. Even if she didn't know who he was, his looks alone were enough to attract attention. I gave him a sideways glance to see if he was flirting back, but his smile was only polite. He put his hand at the small of my back, not quite touching, but enough to guide me around the tables to a relatively quiet corner.
We each ordered a beer and then turned our attention to our menus. The nearly idle chatter continued until after we ordered and our food arrived. Only after we'd both had a few bites of the vegetarian pizza we were sharing did Reed's expression grow serious. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. I knew what was coming.
“I'm starting my own business.”
Okay, maybe I didn't know what was coming. I leaned forward and he put his hand over mine. My skin tingled where it touched his.
“You were right to make me leave last week. I wasn't thinking clearly. There were things I needed to do.” He gestured toward the hand covering mine and I noticed for the first time that his finger was empty. “I hired two lawyers. One for the divorce and one to handle the business aspect of it. I took the papers to Britni two days ago and gave her my wedding band. The engagement ring went back to my mother for safe keeping.”
The way he looked at me told me that he had something specific in mind for it and those damn butterflies did another lap. His fingers tightened around mine.
“And I went to both of our parents and told them that I didn't love Britni and I couldn't stay married to her.”
My eyes widened. That had taken some serious guts to do that. I just hoped he hadn't mentioned me to them, especially since I wasn't sure how I felt about him anymore. I could only imagine how they'd feel if Reed did this all for me but I rejected him.
I almost winced. The word rejected sounded so harsh.
Reed continued, unaware of my internal conflict. “I knew my parents would try to threaten me with the same thing as before, so I handed in my resignation. I told them that I'd take the money my grandparents had left me to start my own business, and if they couldn't accept the decision I'd made, they could cut me off.”
“Reed, I–” I had to say something. He had to know that he couldn't do all of this for me, not when I wasn't sure where we were going to go, how I was feeling.
“I've never felt this free before,” he said. “You showed me that I couldn't just keep living the life my parents told me to live. I was suffocating and hadn't even realized it.”
I smiled. “I'm glad you feel free.” That much was true. I did still care about him. I was happy he'd started standing up to his parents and making his own choices. I loved how happy he looked. I just didn't know if it was enough to get past everything else.
He shifted our hands so that our fingers were laced together. “They may come around; they may not, but I've made my choice.” His eyes met mine. “And I choose you.”
Oh, fuck. My heart skipped a beat at his words, but I could feel that excitement was only part of it. Almost as significant was worry over what would happen if I didn’t choose him.
He sat back, releasing my hand. “I'm sorry. That was too much, I know.”
He smiled and took a drink of his beer. “No pressure or expectations tonight. I just wanted to let you know where I am.”
I nodded and drained what was left of my beer, hoping the buzz would counteract my nerves.
“I know you probably have questions that you've been wanting to ask,” he said. “So ask away. Anything you want and I'll answer it honestly.”
I took a bite of my pizza as much to give myself a few minutes as anything else. I did have a million questions, but most of them weren't for Reed. There were a few though, that I needed answers to. I picked one thread at random.
“Why now?” I put down the slice I'd been eating. I didn't think I could eat any more. “You said it was because of what Brock had done, but you knew about what he did to me months ago. Back in Vegas, you made me believe that you were going to break off your engagement but went through with it anyway. And…” I was getting riled up now, counting his indiscretions off one finger at a time, “you've been married for nearly six months and keep claiming how much you wanted to be with me even though you didn't make a move to end things until last week. How am I supposed to trust that you won't do the same thing now? Get bored after a while, find some random woman to hook up with and string her along until you dump me.”
Reed's expression tightened. “I was afraid,” he said flatly. “Afraid to stand on my own two feet. But I'm not now.”
I didn't point out that his 'own two feet' included a hefty inheritance that he was keeping. People raised in families like the Stirlings rarely understood what it truly meant to be on their own. The family was always there to cushion the blow.
He continued, “I was terrified that if I risked everything for you, I'd lose you and I'd have nothing.”
“And now?”
A new, more grown-up look crossed his face. “You motivated me, but I did this for me too.” He started to reach for my hand again but pulled back before our fingers touched. “I know I fucked up with us. Badly. And I know there's a chance this isn't going to work between us. Even if it doesn't, I'm glad I filed for divorce and stood up to my family.”
I felt a measure of relief. At least I didn't have that pressure on me. I steered the topic away from choices so he didn't ask me to make one right now. “What type of business are you starting?”
His eyes lit up. “If I can get this off the ground in the next year, I might be able to start bringing over some of the people at my old company who wanted to stick with me.”
The atmosphere between us shifted to something much more relaxed as he told me his plans. I could definitely see why his parents were so adamant that he take over the family businesses. It wasn't just that he was their son and they wanted to maintain the family part of things. He knew what he was doing. I didn't have the first clue about what it took to run a business, but even I could understand the way he laid things out.
The discussion took us through the rest of the meal and our check. As we stepped outside, the brisk air made me shiver and Reed put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me to him to share his body heat as we walked toward the car. I flushed, warming up enough that when I got into the car, I wasn't shivering anymore.
“Smells like snow,” Reed commented as he started the car. “Real snow.”
I nodded in agreement. “The forecast said it'd probably stick tonight. Just an inch or two, but enough that they're going to pull out the salt trucks.”
“People forget how to drive on snow after summer,” he said.
We discussed the weather until we arrived back at my place. He turned down the one-way street and stopped in front of the house. The street was empty; everyone either tucked inside for the night or already wherever they'd be for the next few hours.
Reed turned in his seat, reaching for my hand. He warmed my chilled fingers between his palms. “Thank you for coming with me tonight.”
I nodded, suddenly aware of the silence that reminded me how alone we were.
“I've missed you, Piper.” He reached up and brushed his fingers down my cheek, leaving a blazing trail across my skin. He leaned toward me.
I closed my eyes as his lips touched mine. His mouth was firm, but the kiss wasn't forceful. He waited and couldn’t help myself. I parted my lips, tilting my head to change the angle. There was heat there, the pleasure of skin sliding against wet skin. Then his hand slid up my waist, his fingers brushing against the underside of my breast and I pulled back.
“I'm sorry,” he immediately apologized. “I got carried away.” He brushed some hair away from my face, a small smile on his face. “I've been fantasizing about kissing you again for a long time.”
“I need time, Reed. Time to figure out what I want,” I explained. “I can't just jump back into bed with you. That's what got us into this mess to begin with. I want to make the right decision. The smart one.” I pressed my hands together. “I need to decide what my heart wants. What’s right for me.”
He nodded. I saw a flash of hurt in his eyes but he pushed it back. “I understand.” He picked up my hand and pressed his lips to the back of it. “I'll wait. I owe you so much more than that.”
“Thank you.” I could feel tears prick my eyes as I took my hand back. “I'll call you once I figure things out. Thank you for dinner.”
As I walked up the sidewalk and front stairs, I told myself that my eyes were just watering from the cold. When I was inside, I forced a smile at Anastascia, who was sitting on the couch, but she wasn't fooled.
“Honey, what happened?”
“It was a good evening,” I said, pulling off my coat. “He explained things and apologized again. He told me that he served Britni with papers and stood up to his family.” I hung up my coat and kicked off my shoes. “He wants to be with me.”
“Isn't that a good thing?” Anastascia asked. “Isn't that what you wanted?”
I sighed. “I don't know, Ana. I really don't know anymore.” Why couldn't I just have some sort of neon sign flash in front of my eyes and tell me that I wanted to be with Reed? Life would've been so much easier that way.
Chapter 4
The crackling of the fire in the massive stone fireplace set the mood. The flickering flames were the only light to see by, but it was all I needed. A blanket was spread out on the wooden floor, the fleece inviting me to sit as it promised to be the softest thing I'd ever felt against my skin.
I did exactly that, stretching out and letting all that soft warmth caress my back and down my legs. The heat from the fire warmed the front of me and I realized I was naked.
I ran my hands over my flat stomach, feeling the muscles from years of athletics hard beneath my pale skin. Some women tried to fight their natural coloring by forcing tans, but I didn't bother. I had the kind of skin that burned in the sun and looked almost orange when I used the spray or lotion stuff. I'd learned that when my boss back at The Twilight Room had told me I was too pale. When I'd shown up the day after, he'd laughed and given me two days off to get myself back to normal. He'd never asked me to tan again.
“You're beautiful.”
A husky male voice attracted my attention as he stepped from the shadows. He, too, was nude, and the firelight played off of his sculpted body, sending a rush of heat through me that had nothing to do with the fire. He stretched out next to me, our bodies less than an inch apart, close but still not touching.
“We have all night,” he said. “And I intend to explore every inch of you.”
I shivered in anticipation. He raised his hand and let it hover over me, teasing. I could feel the energy pulsing between us, traveling that short distance from all of the places where his body was close to mine. When he finally placed his palm on my stomach, I moaned. A simple touch and he could melt me. There was no doubt in my mind that I loved this man, that I craved him, body, mind and soul.
His hand slid to my breasts, caressing first one and then the other. My nipples were hard before he even touched them, and then he circled them with his fingers, teasing the tips before dropping his hand t
o my stomach again. This time, it moved down and I parted my legs, eager to feel his touch where I needed it the most.
First his fingers ghosted over my inner thighs, almost light enough to tickle, and when I squirmed, he smiled. My hands came down to move things along and he shook his head. Without the fingers between my legs missing a beat, he used his other hand to gather my wrists and hold my hands still. I could've struggled against him and he would've freed me, but I didn't. Instead, I caught my breath as one fingertip ran the length of my slit, the sensitive flesh there responding instantly to his touch.
He slid his finger between my lips, and I sighed. It teased around my opening, circling it before moving up to gently rub my clit. I moaned, shifting my hips as I tried to get more friction where I wanted it. He chuckled and the sound sent a rush of arousal through me. When he lowered his hand and slid his finger inside me, it went easily. I was tight, but so wet that he found no resistance.
“So hot inside you.” He leaned over me as his finger began to move in a slow, steady rhythm. His tongue darted out, flicking against my nipple and I gasped. He did it again and then closed his lips over the pale pink flesh.
“Fuck!” I cried out, my back arching as he began to suck. Each pull of his mouth was a new torture. Each stroke of his finger sent ripples of pleasure through me. When his thumb began to work over my clit, I squeezed my eyes closed and waited to explode.
Then, suddenly, his mouth and hand were gone, leaving me dancing on the edge of agonizing ecstasy. I was so close and he still held my wrists, preventing me from doing anything to ease my own suffering. I opened my eyes, preparing to yell at him to return to his previous ministrations, but then I realized he'd stopped so he could settle himself between my legs.
“Yes...” I hissed the word in anticipation of what I knew was coming. He grinned, blowing on my sex before dipping his head and diving in.
His tongue teased me, gently stroking my flesh before his mouth pressed against the inside of my thigh. When he began to suck on the skin there, I swore. I shouldn't let him do that there. He knew my costume for the recital, though complete with tights, wouldn't prevent people from seeing a bruise-like shadow when I danced. I knew that was why he did it though, to mark me, to make sure everyone knew I was his.
