“Are you going to say something?” I asked, unable to take his reticence any longer. He went about switching some lights on, and I watched on as he brushed his hands down his face in evident frustration.
“I want to ask you…” he cleared his throat, and shook his head once before turning to face me. “I want to ask you what the hell you were thinking living in your car, but I’m not sure I can trust your answer.”
I wanted to be affronted, but how could I be when his suspicion was so palpable?
“How did you find out?”
I knew the answer before he told me, but I wanted to hear it anyway.
“Aaliyah, and Macy,” he said. “They were worried about you, said something was off. I stayed late tonight, and waited for you to leave before I followed you. I didn’t expect -”
“To find me living in my car?” I finished for him. “That I showered, and washed my clothes in the office gym?” I tried to stand tall, to show that I wasn’t abashed, but I wasn’t sure how much longer I could do it. “I didn’t have anywhere else to go, Caleb.”
“You didn’t have anywhere else -” Caleb cursed under his breath. “Five years, Kadence. I haven’t thought about you in five years, and all it took was two weeks for you to drive me crazy.”
My mouth popped open. I wasn’t expecting that.
“You knew who I was, and yet you didn’t say anything. Why?”
“Of course I knew it was you,” he scoffed. “I chose not to say anything because I didn’t trust you. I still don’t -”
“Then why help me?”
Hearing my suspicion about his distrust confirmed this wasn’t easy, and I knew it had everything to do with what my father had done; but I had to accept that it wasn’t my cross to bear, and regardless of my innate desire to earn his trust, I wasn’t sure it was worth it. My eyes fell, and I fiddled with the hem of my shirt for the second time since he’d found me in my car.
Caleb didn’t answer, and as much as I didn’t like it, I was too tired to fight for it. I saw the tick in his jaw, and waited him out.
“You can stay here until the end of next week,” he said roughly. “You should be able to find a new place by then.”
I nodded, and swallowed the urge to cry. I’d been feeling that urge a lot lately, and wasn’t about to give into it in front of Caleb.
“Thank you.”
With a brisk dip of his head, Caleb walked out of the living room and showed me to the guestroom I could stay in. The bathroom alone was bigger than the apartment I’d lived in, and the bedroom was stunning. A giant four-post bed sat in the center of the room against the back wall, matching the dressing table and dresser on the opposite side. The walls were painted a light blue, with beige and cream accents and a whitewashed dresser. Very beachy for a place in the city.
Through the lacy curtains I could see the lights of the skyline, and two double doors that I guessed opened onto a rooftop terrace.
“You must be tired.” Caleb made no move to step into the bedroom. “I need to be in the office at six tomorrow morning, but I’ll make sure there’s another car here for when you’re ready to leave.”
He turned, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep if he didn’t know how truly grateful I was.
“Caleb.”
Rather than face me, he gave me his profile.
“Thank you,” I said again. “Really.”
His shoulders moved with every weighted breath he took, like he was trying to ground himself, and then he squeezed his eyes closed. Without another word, he shut the door, and left me alone.
The click of the door echoed through the room, and it was the first time in the last thirty minutes that I was able to fill my lungs with a decent amount of air. Physically I was drained, but mentally I was alert, and very much awake. My feet padded across the plush carpet, and I was reminded that I was still barefoot. I hadn’t yet showered, and when I stepped into the capacious bathroom, the first thing my eyes latched into was the claw foot tub in the center of the marble floor. A large white cabinet with a single basin stood to my right, and two glass doors closed off the shower at the opposite end, taking up the entire length of the wall.
It was late, and it would have been smart to go to bed, but I needed a chance to decompress, and process everything that had happened in such a short space of time. I removed my clothes, and wrapped a fluffy white towel around my body before returning to the bedroom with the intention of putting my phone on charge before I took a bath.
Murmuring from the hallway outside made me pause, and with careful steps, I opened the door. I peered out, and saw Caleb talking to a dark-haired woman. She looked young, and quite beautiful, and I tried to quash my curiosity. Caleb’s personal life had nothing to do with me. In fact, every facet of his life was none of my business.
The young woman said something in a hushed voice, too quiet for me to make out what she was saying, and Caleb replied, his voice just as quiet. He escorted her back towards the living room, and I heard the telltale sound of the elevator doors opening and closing. I slunk back like a creeper, ignoring the way my mind started asking questions about the girl, and used a hot bath to switch it all off until there was nothing but silence.
I ROLLED OVER, and checked the time on my phone.
Two a.m.
I covered my face with my arm, and exhaled loudly. I’d only gotten to bed two hours ago, and I thought I’d manage to fall asleep after my bath, but as soon as I crawled between the sheets and laid my head down, every thought came rushing back in unwelcomed, and unbidden. I squeezed my eyes closed, willing my mind to remain quiet for just a few more hours when the strangest sound pierced the noiselessness.
My body stilled, and my breathing slowed as I listened intently for the sound to come again.
When it did, I sat up in bed.
It sounded like…like…a baby?
No. It couldn’t have been. Surely if…
I climbed out of bed, my footsteps muted, and gently opened the bedroom door. Everything was dark, except for the faintest light coming from further down the hallway. I heard murmuring, and then another cry, and couldn’t help it when my body involuntarily moved closer to seek out where it was coming from.
I stopped outside another door that was slightly ajar, holding my breath when I heard Caleb’s voice. I’d never heard it so calm, and so comforting before, and it only heightened my inquisitiveness. I told myself to walk away, that it was rude to invade whatever was going on behind the door, but once my palm rested on the wood, I knew there was no going back. With minimal effort, the door slowly swung open, and I stepped into the doorway.
Nothing could have prepared me for what I found, or what I’d feel when I did.
The pale pink, and green walls were washed in muted light, cast from a lamp on a dresser beside a dark wood crib. The room wasn’t as large as the one I was in, but big enough for…for…a nursery.
I covered my mouth with one hand, and watched as Caleb swayed his body from side-to-side, his back to me. He wasn’t aware that I was there, that I was watching him in complete rapture, but when he turned slightly, I caught a glimpse of the tiny person in his colorfully inked arms. It was the most beautiful paradox I’d ever seen – someone so big, not only in size but in stature and presence too, holding someone so tiny, and so fragile with such benevolence and care.
From the color on the walls, and the letters that spelled out ‘Braelynn’ on the wall above the crib, it wasn’t difficult to figure out that it was a little girl, and looking at how small she was, she couldn’t have been more than four weeks old.
Blue eyes, so much like Caleb’s, stayed glued to his face while he gave her a bottle. Her little head was already covered in dark hair, and from my vantage point I could see that she not only had Caleb’s nose, but his pouty lips too.
Oh.
My.
It was his daughter.
Caleb was a dad.
I gasped, only this time it was audible. Caleb’s head snap
ped up, and his eyes widened when he caught my open-mouthed stare. I tried to say something, but everything that was fighting to come out of my mouth was either inappropriate or completely nonsensical. My brain was misfiring in every direction, and I was woefully stuck between what the fuck and I must be dreaming. But it was all very much real, and I knew the moment Caleb realized it too.
His warm, loving expression, clearly reserved for his baby girl, became shuttered, and before he could say anything, I fled. Like a complete and utter coward, I ran the length of the hallway, passing my room, and the all the others, until I stopped in the living room. I had no idea why I stopped there, but I felt the overwhelming need to get as far from Caleb as his huge penthouse would allow.
Time passed, but I had no recollection of how long. I didn’t hear him come up behind me, but I knew he was there, and yet, I still flinched when he spoke.
“Kadence,” he murmured. He didn’t sound as angry as what I’d expected. Instead, he sounded cautious, and circumspect with his approach.
When I managed to speak, my voice was quiet, and just a little hoarse.
“She’s your daughter.”
It was a statement, not a question, and I felt the shift in the air around us, as if putting it out there somehow changed things.
It did. I just didn’t know how.
“How much did you see?” he asked, his tone hardening as if he was prepared to deny, deny, deny.
I turned around, and faced him, bracing myself for only God knows what. I didn’t know how to anticipate what he was going to say, or do.
“Enough,” I whispered. Stepping forward, I searched Caleb’s eyes, running my gaze over his stony features hidden in shadows. With no lights, and only the moonlight to guide me, it was difficult to get an accurate read on him. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“Because I was hoping I wouldn’t have to,” he snapped.
I frowned at his logic. “You expected me not to find out you have a daughter while I stayed with you for a week?”
“I didn’t exactly plan on having you here, but yes, I was going to try. I don’t need anyone knowing about her, at least not yet.”
I thought back to the amount of articles I’d read about him in the last few weeks, even the ones I’d read before I came back to Manhattan, and not a single one mentioned that he had a baby. I knew he’d been seen with some Hollywood actress, but nothing concrete suggested that he was in a relationship, or that she might have been expecting his child.
“Do you want me to leave?” I asked, trying to hide the worry that he would say yes.
I heard rather than saw his resigned exhalation.
“No.” His arm moved, and his hand brushed down his face. “But I expect you to keep this to yourself, at least until I decide it’s time to let the world know I have a daughter.”
I nodded quickly. “I won’t say anything, I promise.” I hesitated. “I saw you talking to a younger woman earlier. Is that…?”
I let the question hang in the air between us, but it didn’t take Caleb long to figure out what I wanted to know.
“No, that’s not her mother. That’s Danielle, the nanny who looks after Braelynn full time while I’m at work. Her mother isn’t in the picture.”
The reverence with which he said his daughter’s name was unmistakable; as was the resentment he evidently had towards her mother. It became apparent that she wasn’t dead, she just wasn’t around, and my heart started hurting for Caleb.
“It’s a beautiful name,” I remarked quietly. “Braelynn. How old is she?”
Caleb regarded me carefully, obviously deciding just how much to tell me.
“Four weeks,” he replied. Just like I’d guessed.
We fell silent, and my uncertainty of what to say grew. As much as I wanted to reassure him that I would keep my mouth shut, I knew it wouldn’t be enough, and if he were to believe me, I’d have to show him that I could be trusted.
“Why are you still awake?” he asked softly. I tried not to read anything into his tone, or the way his rigid stance had relaxed. I couldn’t give him the impression that I still harbored feelings for him, given that he already had so many other things that he needed to worry about.
“I couldn’t sleep,” I swallowed, and brushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear, “Even though an actual bed is a nice change from the backseat of my car.”
Caleb’s brows dipped, and his mouth twisted like he’d tasted something sour. “We need to talk about that.”
“Not much to talk about,” I sighed, choosing to be completely honest. “I haven’t spoken to or heard from my father in two years, and my mother gave up almost everything in their divorce. I’ve been taking care of myself.”
“And you had your surname changed.”
I wanted to be surprised that Caleb knew that, but I wasn’t. Not really. He had a plethora of resources at his disposal, and if he’d known who I was since my first day, then he knew I no longer went by Kadence Archer. My only hope was that if he knew, it wouldn’t be easy for anyone else to find out. I couldn’t risk my father knowing, not yet at least.
“I needed a clean break, and it makes it easier to hide when no one knows exactly who you are.”
I wanted to say more but thought better of it.
“I appreciate your help, Caleb, and I won’t tell anyone anything. By the end of next week, I’ll be out of here, and we can go back to pretending the other doesn’t exist,” I paused, “If that’s what you want.”
Caleb remained quiet, and I wasn’t sure why that bothered me.
His only acknowledgement was a nod, and a mumbled good night, and when he didn’t move to walk way, I did it for him.
“ON A SCALE OF one to ten, how mad are you?”
Aaliyah stopped in front of my desk, and I lifted my gaze from the screen of my laptop to look up at her. She looked somewhat remorseful, and held out a steaming cup of coffee from Starbucks.
I looked between her and the cup, and sighed heavily when I realized that I didn’t want to be angry with her, even if I felt that my privacy had been invaded. It was Friday morning, and after having such a late night, I was running on fumes. Caleb had left long before my alarm woke me up for work, and I didn’t want to make myself at home by making coffee at his place.
“That depends,” I replied, taking the cup from Aaliyah’s outstretched hand. “Are you going to make a habit of getting involved in my personal life?”
I sipped the caffeinated goodness, my senses humming appreciatively when met with the full-bodied Latte flavor. Oh, she was good, using one of my weaknesses to get me to forgive her with less effort on her part. I had to admire her determination.
“I can’t say that I won’t, I’m a nosy bitch, but can’t I get a pass just this once? It was extenuating circumstances, and I had to do something to help, Kadence.”
I regarded my friend, and co-worker, and saw the contrition shadowing the delicate features of her face. I wasn’t one to hold a grudge, but the latent anger I should’ve felt the night before, was shoved aside by everything else that had transpired from the moment Caleb had decided to be my Knight in shining armor. But even with Aaliyah standing in front of me, I couldn’t muster up enough energy to be angry with her for caring.
“I’ll forgive you, on one condition.”
“Anything.”
“Promise me that if you’re ever worried about me again, you’ll come to me instead of talking to Caleb.”
Aaliyah opened her mouth, and then winced when she said, “I can’t promise you that.”
I shook my head, and she was quick to add, “But only because Caleb would have my ass.”
I puffed up my cheeks, and then exhaled in a rush. Caleb was proving to be a conundrum, a walking contradiction. Trying to figure him out, along with his motives, was pointless, so why did I keep trying?
I was starting to think I was wasting my time.
“I’ll make it up to you with lunch at Bryant Park,” said Aaliyah. �
�How does that sound?”
On cue, my stomach rumbled, and Aaliyah responded with a giggle. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.”
“Fine,” I quipped, unable to stop the upturn of my lips. “Now let me get back to work.”
Aaliyah bounced back to her desk, and before I could get back to completing my to-do list, my desk phone rang.
I answered with, “Callahan Industries, Kadence speaking,” and expected someone to be calling for Macy.
“Kadence.” Caleb’s voice travelled through the phone, and I swear my heart fell over itself. Stupid thing needed to be replaced, or at least reminded what it felt like to be broken by the man on the other end of the line.
“Cal -” I started, but then realized I was at work and corrected myself. “Mr. Callahan. Macy isn’t in at the moment, but -”
“I wasn’t calling for Macy.” God, I hated it when he cut me off like that. Pompous ass. “I need you to come into my office. Now.”
The line went dead, and I stared at the phone with incredulity. Fortunately, I already knew that ‘rude’ and ‘abrupt’ were the extent of his vocabulary.
After finishing off my Latte, which admittedly was my small act of rebellion, I righted my black pencil skirt, and my silk turquoise peasant blouse before walking to Caleb’s office. My confidence was a little on the low side, but if I had to fake it in front of Caleb, then I would. I knocked on the door once, and pushed it open, expecting to find Caleb at his desk. Instead, I found the spacious office empty, and filled with beams of light coming through the floor-to-ceiling windows. They stretched along my right, and rounded the back end of the space behind a glass, and steel desk. On the left stood three leather sofas, a small table in the middle of the sitting area, and to the side of Caleb’s desk was a dry bar. Unlike his penthouse, this was all man, and it lacked the warmth he’d created in his home.
“Took you long enough.”
Caleb’s grumble startled me, and I turned around from my spot in front of the windows. He appeared from behind the wall located just beyond his desk.
“I had something to finish for Macy,” I lied. “What is it that you wanted to see me about?”
Playing Pretend Page 6
