by Soraya Naomi
I’m hesitant to answer. If I confirm, will she throw me out because she thinks she doesn’t need me anymore? Although I’m still pissed off about everything that’s happened between us in the last few days, I’m not sure I’m ready to let Fallon go. Throughout our ordeal, I still had a sliver of hope we’d have a chance because I’m in love with her. It’s as simple as that. I fell in love with the simplicity that is her. But she’s now tainted and bitter, something I never wanted for Fallon, so it’s time to end the deceit, and I decide to be truthful. “Yes. You’re safe.”
Hesitantly, she gazes at me. “So what now, Luca?”
Not having all the answers, I ask her the questions that have been plaguing me, “Do you regret meeting me? What are you feeling? Talk to me. I still want us to have a life together...”
But that sets her off as she spits with malice, “Don’t ask me that. Don’t you dare turn this around on me! You’re a mafia underboss.”
I keep my lips sealed, giving her the opportunity to vent as the emptiness that’s spreading a hole in my heart overpowers any anger I had toward her escape attempt.
While bravely looking at me, Fallon continues, “I can’t answer that because, of course – right now – I regret it. This is all too much. I-I don’t know what I’m feeling. What the hell do you expect from me? Don’t you think I know that we’d never have a normal life? Would I have to lie to everyone around me? Would I always have to worry about if you’d come home alive? I need to protect myself before you drag me into more of your Syndicate mess. I can’t do this, Luca. It’ll change me. That life will suck the life out of me.”
It’s as if she’s sucker punched me with her blunt admission, but I always knew that an innocent civilian like Fallon would respond this way to the savagery of my existence, which she thinks is a completely different world. She doesn’t understand that everyone is corrupt in one way or another, because, for her, everything is still black and white. It’s a naïve notion most civilians need to believe in order to feel safe.
“I can’t change my past, Fallon,” I say to her in the same soft tone she’s used with me, which causes her love for me to rise to the surface for a second; I recognize that tender expression and it saddens me to no end, so I offer her the most important piece of advice I have. “You need to realize what’s going on around you. Not everything is black and white, dolcezza. You’ll learn that one day.”
Tracing my knuckles down her cheek, I brush the path of her tears, and she doesn’t pull away from me, causing me to swallow heavily because this seems to be turning into a goodbye that’s splintering my soul into a million pieces. I need to come to terms with the fact that it’s impossible to keep her safe. Tonight, anything could’ve happened to her. She was a challenge that reeled me in and became too much.
Finally, I accept that she belongs to the Luca I created for her. The Luca without the Syndicate. But in reality, that Luca doesn’t exist. Luca and the Syndicate will forever be one.
I’m not sure which one of us inches closer first, but the next thing I know, we’re nuzzling each other gently and I tell her one last time how much she means to me, “Ti amo, Fallon. I want you to know that I truly loved you.” And I feel a lone tear escaping my eye.
She pulls back while I’m still squatted down in front of her on the floor and lightly strokes my jaw. With a sob, she says, “You should go.”
“I don’t want to leave you here on the floor,” I plead.
“Please go,” she repeats, pulling her knees up to her chest and burying her face in them, already blocking me out. Yet as I rise, she adds, “I loved you too.”
It’s tearing me to pieces to watch her unravel but declining my offer to comfort her. And as I turn away, I leave a part of myself behind with Fallon. There’s an invisible bond that will tie Fallon and me together, from now on and for always. Knowing that I’ll probably never see her again, I steal one last glance at the only woman I’ve ever loved, and then I quietly close the door on us.
Once I’m back in the car, I punch the steering wheel repeatedly in an effort to let out my agony until the skin on my already bruised knuckles tears.
And brimming with heartache, I drive back alone to the Syndicate’s headquarters where Fallon won’t be in my private room waiting for me anymore.
***
James and Adriano are talking in the living room when I arrive at the house.
“Is the doctor here?” I ask.
“He will be within a few minutes. I called him for your injury.” James motions toward my ear.
“Good. I think I need stitches.” The side of my head feels like it’s on fire. “Did you clean up at the parish?”
“Damian and another soldier are cleaning up,” James replies. “Father Eli won’t talk; I reminded him of what will happen if he does. We won’t end his life, but we will expose the pictures of him entertaining young boys and let him live with a life of scandal. For him, that’s far worse than death. Biagio will inform his Syndicate about their boss’s death, and he’ll claim the title of Capo crimine of the New York Syndicate. I do believe we have an ally in him. And Danny was taken care of in the sacristy.”
When the doctor shows up, he stitches the skin behind my ear. It’ll heal properly, and my hearing should return to normal within the next couple of hours. The doctor’s out the door in twenty minutes.
“I’m going home,” I announce and rub my neck.
“What’s wrong, Luca? How’s Fallon?” James probes.
“I took her home, but this was all too much for her and she doesn’t want to see me anymore.” As far as James knows, she cooperated the entire week, and as a precaution, I bound her into silence, even though I actually didn’t, but she won’t go to the police.
“Son, one day you’ll find a woman who can accept this life.”
“I’ve already found plenty of women who could accept this life,” I say. “The only one I want just can’t.”
“Why don’t you stay here tonight?” James suggests.
“I can’t stay in that room without Fallon,” I admit and exit the house.
CHAPTER 45
Fallon
After Luca leaves, I lock the door and then recheck the lock. It feels surreal being back in my own apartment.
I miss Luca already, and I’m lost. The man I fell in love with is a criminal who’s in the mafia. But in the end, he did help me, and all I want is for everything to be over, so I’m not going to the police. And maybe he was telling the truth. If I go to the police, I’ll bring more trouble my way.
On shaky legs, I reach my bedroom, although assembling my thoughts is impossible. Danny’s probably dead. He was right there in the bathroom, and I could’ve helped him. I saw men die. Blood splattering. Lurching forward to my bathroom, I heave painfully into the toilet when I smell the vile stench of gunpowder and spilled blood – a too lifelike memory.
As I remove my dress and sandals, I stand in front of my mirror and am greeted by a pale version of myself with dark circles under my eyes, scratches, and yellow and purple bruises all over my body, every inch of which is sore, as if I’m black and blue all over, inside and out. And under that layer of pain, I feel nothing. Nothing, because right now, I can’t cope with everything.
No longer able to bear the sight of myself, I get into the shower, and under the hot stream, my tears mingle with the water as if they never fell from my eyes. I cry because I’ve seen too many people die. I cry because I don’t know where Camilla is – I don’t even have a last name to find her. I cry for the life I will never have with Luca. I cry for the life I longed to build with him. Mostly, I cry to let out all the fear of the past six days until I can’t cry anymore, and I turn off the faucet.
After checking the front door lock one more time, I down two painkillers before going to bed. For a couple of hours, I’m sound asleep from exhaustion, but after that, as fast as I fell asleep, I wake up again.
Sitting straight up in bed, I open my eyes and I’m comforted by th
e surroundings of my own familiar room; however, as I lie back, I still feel as torn as I did over the past week.
People say time heals all wounds. But does it truly? I don’t believe it does. Time simply makes us forget as new memories push back the old ones until our mind is forced to let go of what we desperately long to hold on to. Moreover, the bad memories always manage to stick to the forefront while the good ones vanish from our remembrance. And unfortunately, with Luca and me, the bad, which almost got me killed, far outweigh the good, and I dread that, in time, that’s all I’ll remember.
Wanting to dispel my somber thoughts, I climb out of bed to retrieve my phone from my clutch in the living room. As I sit on the couch and go through it, I’m surprised that I don’t have too many missed calls or messages. I frown when I see that Luca has texted Jason, my mother, and Teagan that I’ve been sick at home. He took care of everything to explain my absence.
I call my mother and assure her that I’m all better. She, of course, immediately notices something is wrong, so I tell her Luca and I broke up. I also briefly speak to Jason, who apparently visited my apartment last Tuesday, so I tell him I was too sick to answer the door and probably didn’t hear the buzzer, and he doesn’t question me. And I decide to call Teagan back later.
I chew my fingernail wondering what to do about my boss, Alex, while I walk back to my room. I wanted to let my loved ones know I’m fine, and now I just want to crawl back into bed. Devoid of anything except for the jumbled thoughts constantly racing through my mind, sadness overtakes me yet again, but I yearn for sleep to consume me instead, because I feel absolutely hollow.
Thankfully, it does, and all I do is stay in bed from Thursday until Friday night when I wake again to contact Teagan, and I even manage to lie to my best friend about the past week.
Then Saturday morning, I’m awakened by a call from Jason.
“Hi,” I mumble as I answer.
“Oh my god, Alex died of an overdose,” Jason informs me.
Promptly, I’m wide awake. “What?” And I glance at the phone to see what time it is: ten.
“Alex is dead. The cleaning lady found his body in his apartment. Alex Gentry suspected to have died of a drug overdose,” he reads a line from an article.
This is the Syndicate’s doing, and I’m positive Luca has something to do with it. Flustered, I say, “Can I look up the article and call you later? I’m...I’m shocked.”
“Yes, of course. I’ll e-mail you the link.”
I read the article on my phone and palm my forehead. Did Alex die because I told Luca about his blackmail attempt? But what would’ve happened to me if Alex had lived? And what do I feel? Maybe a hint of a sick kind of gratitude toward Luca?
This means it’s finally over.
I cover my mouth with my hand, unable to grasp the reality that this has been my life since a week ago. Although I don’t get much time to contemplate because the doorbell rings – the doorbell of my front door, not the entrance downstairs.
I jump out of bed and tiptoe toward it. Nervous shivers run down my spine when I stand before the door, and a knock jolts me backward.
“Miss Fallon Michaels?” a male voice asks. “This is Chicago PD.”
The police? Why?
“Can I see some ID?” I retort and check the peephole as two men ID themselves, so I open the door and stand in the doorway.
“Good morning, ma’am. We’d like to ask you some questions. Can we come in?”
“No.” After what I’ve been through, I don’t trust anyone. “What’s this about?”
“It’s regarding Alex Gentry.”
I arch my brow. “I just found out he died.”
“I’m sorry for your loss, Miss Michaels. It appears to be a drug overdose, but in the security box in his apartment”—the detective hands me a photograph of a note—“the following note was found: If anything happens to me, contact Fallon Michaels.”
My blood drops ten degrees after reading it. “I’m just an employee of his,” I murmur, not knowing how to react.
“We’d like to talk to you, Miss Michaels.”
But I need to think about what this means, so I respond curtly, “Now isn’t a good time. I need a moment to process the fact that my boss died.”
The men at least appear regretful, and one gives me his card. “It’s important that we speak with you. Please call me for an appointment at the precinct on Monday.”
“I will.” I grab the card and close the door, expelling the breath I’ve been holding.
Why the hell would Alex leave that note? Did he even actually leave it or did the Syndicate? Are they trying to frame me?
I thought it was over, but it’s not...not by a long shot.
The story of Luca and Fallon continues and ends in For Luca, Chicago Syndicate #2.
For Fallon (#1) on Goodreads
For Luca (#2) on Goodreads
The love story of Adriano and Camilla.
For Adriano (#3) on Goodreads
For Cam (#4) on Goodreads
The love story of Logan and Rosalia.
For Logan (#5) on Goodreads
ABOUT THE NOVEL
For Fallon
Copyright © 2014 by Soraya Naomi
Published by Soraya Naomi
Book 1 of Chicago Syndicate series.
First digital edition published July 2014.
Second digital edition published April 2016.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, including electronic or mechanical, without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief and correct quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, businesses, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return it to the seller and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author’s work.
Top Cover Photo credit: Sandy Manase.
Bottom Cover Photo credit: David Niblack.
For Luca (Chicago Syndicate, #2)
“Woman is sacred; the woman one loves is holy.” ~ Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo.
PROLOGUE
It’s pitch black.
This isn’t happening.
Hunched like a ball with my knees pulled up, I’m stuck in this scant place, crammed in here with the lid pressed against my back. Sweat seeps along the contours of my face as I try to turn my head. I dig my teeth into my knees to keep from making a sound, but my own heavy, trembling breaths are deafening, feeding my fear.
Oh my god. NO. Stop!
The blaring pain in my back is surpassed by the anguish I experience from hearing the constant blows and an incensed male voice. I shut my eyes tightly, and tears mingle with cold sweat as panic gnaws at my insides.
This isn’t real.
I hear Luca grunting in pain, and I can almost sense his suffering burning through my body while I have to listen to him being beaten, over and over again.
“You have to get in there and stay! Understand?” Luca begs and takes my face in both hands.
The tremor in his tone increases my own anxiety. “No! What are you going to do?” I cry and clutch his dress shirt in a death grip.
“Fallon, goddammit. I can’t afford to worry about you too right now. I have to know that you’re safe. You have to promise me you won’t come out. You have got to fucking listen to me.”
Through the darkness, I can barely see his eyes, so I inch even closer, our noses almost touching. As m
uch as he’s tried to give me hope, I can hear in his despondent tone that there isn’t a way out for both of us. I nod my head up and down in disbelief of our current situation. We hug each other tightly, and Luca presses his lips to my forehead harshly.
Then he pulls back, cradling my face again and wiping away my tears with his thumbs. “Get in.”
Someone’s yelling, and I want to help Luca, but I’m afraid to leave this space, so I honor the last promise I made to the man I love while the life is being beaten out of him.
After what feels like hours, but is probably mere minutes, of shouting and fighting, the sudden stillness thunders my fear to unmeasurable heights.
CHAPTER 1
Luca
“Did you talk to her?” Adriano asks as we descend the stairs to the front door of the Syndicate’s headquarters.
“Not since Thursday.” I’m tired as hell and want to go home without any business interrupting my quiet time. I haven’t spoken to or seen Fallon in two days. Two days that have crawled by agonizingly slowly.
Following our former hacker, Danny Mancuso’s ex-girlfriend, Fallon Michaels, seven months ago led to my falling in love with her. We seemed to have it all for a few blissful months, except in those months, I never disclosed that I was the underboss of the Chicago Syndicate, which rules the drug traffic in Chicago’s underworld, with James as my Capo crimine – the boss, who’s the only one ranked above me – and Adriano as my head Capo – a captain who’s ranked immediately below me and works as my back-up, making Adriano officially more important and valuable than the other Capi of the Chicago Syndicate.
At that critical moment when I thought I had to reveal everything to her because she caught me in my lies and became increasingly suspicious, she was kidnapped by one of my soldiers and taken to the house – our headquarters – that Adriano and I are now exiting. For six distressing days, I watched and lived out the destruction of our relationship while I worked to help her, and she fought me every step of the way.
