by Piper Rayne
Knox shifts his gaze between us—waiting for us to do what, I have no idea. “I have a great idea. Why don’t we do something like the Newlywed Game?”
“What?” I croak out because seriously, I think a simple questionnaire from Google we can each fill out and memorize will be fine. It’s just our parents. We’re not trying to get a green card.
“That’s an awesome idea.” Of course Seth thinks it is.
The door opens and in walk Rian and Dylan and a guy I don’t know.
“Evan,” Rian says, heading right to me, and sits on the arm of the couch. “I didn’t know you were here. Do you watch Blue Bloods?”
“Blue Bloods?”
Seth stands and holds out his hands. “I’m out tonight. We’ve got some getting to know each other to do.” His tone and his body language suggest we’re going to his room to make out.
“We could go to a coffee shop?” I suggest.
“What am I missing?” Rian asks, sliding into the spot I just vacated.
Dylan doesn’t take long to take Seth’s spot, placing his hand on Rian’s thigh. They make a cute couple.
“You didn’t hear?” Knox finishes off his beer and stands. “Ol’ Sethy boy popped the question. These two kids are gettin’ hitched.” Knox puts his hand on Seth’s shoulder and Seth shrugs it off.
“And another one gone and another one gone,” the guy I don’t know sings like the Queen song.
“What the hell?” Rian says, clearly shocked.
Knox laughs and lifts a beer at the fridge toward his friends. Dylan and the other guy accept, but Rian declines.
“One day, Jax, one day,” Rian says.
I guess his name is Jax.
He leans back in his seat. “One day I’ll be the envy of all of you.”
“Not happening. I’ve got no complaints here. Regular sex without trying,” Dylan says.
“I don’t try either, man,” Jax says with a smirk.
Rian groans, then she leans forward. “So wait, explain this. You two are getting married? Are you living here?” she asks me.
“Then I’m back in your apartment,” Jax says to Rian. “The bathroom here is already like a subway during rush hour.”
“No.” I laugh. “It’s a fake engagement but you can’t tell anyone that. We’re just… it’s a long story.”
“The show’s about to start,” Jax says, grabbing the remote.
“Pause it,” Rian says, her attention still on me. “We’ve got time.”
I glance at Seth because these are his friends. He needs to be the one to explain.
“It’s really none of your business,” Seth says.
“You told Knox!” I can tell that she’s offended.
Seth sits in Knox’s recliner. “Fine.”
Seth tells them the entire story about the contest, and I’m surprised to find that none of them think it’s a good idea. Not even Rian, who I thought would see my side of things.
“You’re dumber than I thought.” Dylan shakes his head and goes to the kitchen for another beer.
Rian’s gaze digs into me as she wraps her head around the news. “I’m shocked you two agreed on anything. I thought you hated each other.”
Seth puts his hand over mine, entwining our fingers. “Turns out I like my soon-to-be wife.” But he picks up my hand and looks at my left ring finger, his gaze moving up to meet mine. “Jax?”
“No, I won’t be the best man in your pretend wedding.” He rolls his eyes.
“I need a favor,” Seth says, his gaze never leaving mine.
“What? I’ll admit this to you guys, but it better not leave this room. Your mom scares me, Andrews. So don’t ask me to lie to her.”
“No. I need you to tattoo a ring on my fiancée’s finger because she keeps taking off her ring.”
I slide my hand from his and roll my eyes. “I’m gonna go. We’ll do this another time.”
“Wait!” Rian calls. “Even though I am not on board with this because I think that something will go very wrong and someone will end up getting hurt…” She glances at me. “You have to be prepared, right? I mean, we didn’t believe it, so I’m sure your parents will be skeptical. If you’re going to sell it, you have to really sell it.”
She has a point. We can’t do this half-assed. We have to play our roles with conviction.
“Rian’s got a point. Because right now, Seth is coming off as a protective prick who’s bullied you into marrying him when you’d rather be thrown into a ring with UFC fighters,” Knox adds.
“Let’s add in some Jell-O so I can get a visual,” Jax says and chuckles.
Seth whips his head around to narrow his eyes at his friend. “Don’t imagine my fiancée Jell-O wrestling, man. Not cool.”
Jax holds up his hands in defense.
“I told them we should do a Newlywed Game,” Knox says to Rian because even though I’m not part of this group, I could pick her to be the one who’s on his side.
“Yes!” She jumps up, clapping.
See? I knew it.
“Let’s see, how should we do this?” Rian leaves a groaning Dylan on the couch and she and Knox go sit at the kitchen table.
Knox pulls out paper and a pen and they brainstorm.
“Great. Thanks, Andrews,” Jax says. He stretches out with his feet on their coffee table and leans his head back.
“Rian, I thought we were gonna…” Dylan stops talking when she holds up her hand to silence him.
“Please tell me you aren’t scheduling sex now.” Jax cocks one eyebrow at him.
But I never hear the answer because Rian comes over and pulls us up, pushing Seth and me toward his bedroom. “Okay, you guys have to go in there and talk to one another for a bit while we figure this out.”
“What? I was gonna order pizza,” Seth whines, turning away from the bedroom.
“Stop complaining. What’s your motto? ‘Go big or go home’?” Rian deepens her voice as if she’s Seth. “You’re not doing this half-assed. Dylan will order the pizza.”
“I will?” Dylan says.
“You go get to know your darling fiancée.” She shoves us into Seth’s bedroom and shuts the door.
The first thing I notice is that the room smells like him, and the second is that he lives like a bachelor. No headboard. A dresser with receipts scattered across the surface. His shoes poking out of his closet so the doors can’t shut. The towel that was wrapped around him when I arrived is slung over a hamper in the corner.
He falls back on his mattress, putting his hands behind his head and making his shirt rise so that I can just glimpse his tempting treasure trail. “Should we find out what makes us tick sexually first? Any fetishes I should know about, baby?”
My shoulders sink and I wonder for the thousandth time why I put myself in this situation. It’s clear that there’s lots that can go wrong, but is it even possible that something could go right?
Chapter Fourteen
Seth
* * *
Evan Erickson stands in my bedroom as though she’s a virgin on prom night and I’m some sleazy guy pushing her to be here.
“Relax, Evan, it’s me. I’m kidding.”
“I know.” She nods. “I know. It’s just…” She sits on the edge of my bed. “Why are we the only ones who think this is the best way to accomplish our goal?”
I can’t argue that I haven’t had my doubts. We’re toying with our parents’ emotions. My mom could get really attached, then it will all be over within two months. They’ll still just be getting used to one another at that point. But my hope is that our fake engagement will bridge the gap between our families enough by that point that they’ll stay in each other’s lives. That, and make our businesses even more successful.
“It’s two months. We’ll have a fight and agree to part ways amicably. Hopefully if our parents are friendly with one another through this process, they’ll stay that way, and if not, then nothing will have changed from how it is now.”
She nods. “I’m worried about Eli. He can attach easily and if we’re spending time at my parents’…”
“Are you asking me to be an asshole to your brother?”
She pushes me and I fall back on the bed. “No. Just… promise me one thing.”
“You know I make no promises.” I laugh and she doesn’t, which means I need to be serious for a moment. “What?”
“After all this is over and if we hate one another again, don’t ignore him if you see him.”
“Jesus, Evan, do you think I’m a total asshole? I would never do that. I say hi to him now as it is.”
She tilts her head.
“Do you think I’ve gone twenty years without seeing your family at all?”
“No, but he wasn’t even born when it all went down, so he didn’t know you, didn’t have to lose you.”
“Elsie either, but she’s got no problem telling me off every chance she gets.” The girl has a mouth that needs soap and water on the regular.
“Yeah, I know. I’ll work on her. She’s not going to understand why things ended with Brock.”
I grit my teeth at the mention of that asshole’s name. “She liked him, did she?”
The girl gives me death glares that could make an entire Navy SEAL team shake in their boots, but Brock she likes. Money, it always comes down to the money.
Evan shakes her head. “Elsie likes what he offers. She likes that he drives a fancy sports car and takes me to expensive places.”
Her dress from the gala comes to mind, how mind-blowingly sexy she looked. I’d guessed that Brock bought her that dress and the diamonds around her neck. Good thing this thing is fake because I can never compete with that.
Not that I’m not a catch, and one day I plan on being a successful photographer, but I can’t imagine ever building some mansion on a hill to make everyone below me feel inferior.
“Anyway, we’re wasting time. Want to start with our favorite color?” She unzips and toes out of her boots before sitting cross-legged on the bed. “Can I just ask one question first?”
I lean on the bed with my head resting on my palm.
“Are these sheets clean? I mean, the last time you slept with someone wasn’t—”
“No. My mom made my bed today when she dropped off my laundry,” I say.
She balks.
“I’m kidding. You’re gonna have to get used to my jokes and pretend you like them if you’re going to be my fiancée.” I lean forward and touch her nose with my finger. Ugh. Why can’t I seem to stop finding excuses to touch her? “Sheets are clean.”
“Just asking. Okay, so, favorite color?”
“You are aware that’s not going to be a question my friends ask, right?”
“Why? That’s a typical first-date question.” She pulls her hair back and secures it with a ponytail holder she had around her wrist.
God, she’s so beautiful, sitting here all fresh-faced and relaxed on my bed, and I bet she has no idea. Whatever. I pull my mind away from how tempting she is and focus on the task at hand. “Yeah, it might be a first-date question but not an engaged-to-be-married one.”
She hems and haws, but I know she sees my point. “Then you ask the first question.”
“Sure, favorite sexual position?” She picks up a pillow and throws it at me, which I catch and put behind my head, sliding up my bed. “Okay, okay. Favorite movie?”
“Well, what kind? Like favorite action, favorite rom-com, favorite sci-fi…”
I pretend to yawn. “Let’s just say The Notebook. It sounds like a chick thing and I’ll remember it.”
“We can’t just make shit up. Elsie knows my favorite movie is not The Notebook.” I quirk an eyebrow, and she huffs. “I mean, I like it, but it’s not my favorite.”
I chuckle. “Okay then…” I wave my hand at her.
“It’s P.S. I Love You.”
“What? That movie is sad as shit.”
Her eyes widen a bit. “You’ve seen it?”
“The guy dies, right?”
She nods.
“I thought for sure you’d say When Harry Met Sally or Notting Hill.”
“It’s a great movie. She found herself, and he loved her and knew her so well that he knew what she’d need after he died. That’s romantic.”
I shake my head. “Okay, give me your best action flick then.” I cross my fingers that she has better taste in this department.
“Avengers. Any of them,” she says.
“And not just because of the hot guys in tight costumes, right?”
She shakes her head and a flush rises in her cheeks. I’d love to see it cover her entire body. “I like the action and Eli loves them, so we usually watch them together.”
I pause, soaking in what life is like for her. “What do you do for fun?”
Her gaze flies to mine, and there’s trepidation there. “I don’t have much of a social life. I talk to some of my friends from high school, but most went to college and got married and live far away now. By the time I’m done at the shop, I’m going to bed to do it all over again. It’s a little like Groundhog Day.”
“Why did you ever agree to do it?” Her dad had just had his heart attack last year. Before then, I imagine they could’ve managed.
“I was supposed to go to community college like Elsie, but…”
I lean forward and dip my head, so our eyes meet. “You can tell me. I won’t judge you.”
“Eli,” she rushes. “I love him so much, but he needs attention and care. More than I do. Someone had to help my dad so my mom could be hands-on with him.”
A tear slips down her cheek and she quickly wipes it away. I’m shocked at the way seeing her upset like this constricts the air in my chest.
“Every time I talked myself into saying something to them, thinking we were in a good spot, something horrible would happen. Like the oven going out and we’d need to replace it or the rent going up. It’s like before I knew it, I blinked and I was twenty-nine.” Another tear falls and hits my bedspread, and that pain spreads in my chest. “God, I’m gonna be thirty.” She climbs off the bed and paces my room. “Thirty, Seth, and I’m living above my parents’ garage, with barely any friends, no life. It’s like my biggest fear is coming true.”
“What fear is that?”
“That I’m going to die alone. They’ll find me in that bagel shop, slumped over one day. And no one will be at my funeral because I never had time for friends or lovers or anything else.”
“Hey, you have a fiancé. A great one, I might add.” I try to lighten the mood, sliding to the end of the bed.
She laughs and huffs at the same time. “You’re fake.”
I pinch myself. “Ouch. Nope, not fake.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Come here.” I pat the spot next to me.
I never expected her to come sit, but she does. I put my arm around her shoulders and kiss her temple as though we’re the best of friends. Maybe because I understand the pressure she’s under. I ran away from mine until Trevor couldn’t handle it. Now I’m the son they’re calling on and look what I do—arrange a fake engagement so they won’t need me.
“We’re going to get you out of this obligation,” I say. “And by the time people are singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to you on your thirtieth, you’re going to have a whole new life in front of you.”
“I don’t even know what I want to do. I’ve never allowed myself to explore any options.”
“I think you do know, but maybe it’s buried deep down. Give it some thought. Take these next two months to figure it out.”
She nods, but I’m not sure whether she’ll do it. “God, I’m sorry. I’m a mess. You didn’t sign up to be a therapist.”
“Technically I think that’s exactly what you sign up for when you’re in a relationship. This is just, like, practice for when I am a husband.”
She laughs. “You probably don’t even want to get married.”
Do I? I think so. I just
haven’t found anyone yet. “I think I will when I know I’m with the right person.”
“Kids?” she asks.
I’m not sure if she’s asking for the game or to satisfy her own curiosity. “Ten too many?”
“I think you need to disclose that to your future wife. She might be game.”
“I want four, I think. Then again, I’m almost thirty and I don’t want to be an old dad. So I guess I do want kids, but I’ll take it as is.”
Truth is, with a lot of my friends moving ahead with marriage and kids, I’m starting to feel like I might be the bachelor friend. The fun uncle who has a different woman at every birthday party.
“At least you can have babies up until you die,” she says. “My eggs are shriveling up every day.”
“Thirty is not fifty, calm down. Plus, you’re smokin’ hot. Some guy is gonna snatch you up. Just make sure it’s not Brock Floyd.”
“Man, you got the compliments down.”
“I only speak the truth, you know that.”
“I don’t know… you lied pretty well to your dad the other night.”
I can see from the look in her eyes that this is a legitimate concern for her. I let my arm drop and turn away from her for the first time during this conversation.
“Seth?” Her voice is quiet and unsure.
“I’m not a liar,” I say. “I hate lying.”
“Okay.”
I swivel to face her. “I’m serious. I’ll always tell you the truth. I fucking hate liars and fake people.” My voice comes out with a bite I didn’t intend.
“Okay. I believe you.”
I nod. “Sorry. It’s just Trev. The lies and deceit, it just shattered everything. Even now when he comes home, I won’t believe a word out of his mouth. I hope he gets his life together, but I’ll never trust another word he says.”
She places her hand on my knee and runs it up and down. “I know you guys were close.”
And we were until high school. Growing up, I looked up to Trevor. He was my idol, the coolest guy around, and to see him now is just depressing as fuck. I haven’t called him since he went to rehab this time.
