Addison rolled his eyes and she ignored it.
‘I needed to be close to him.’
‘And an empty apartment did that for you?’ Addison said.
‘No. I thought it would, but it didn’t.’
‘Are you ever going to be able to let go of him?’
‘He was my only brother. My closest family.’ She felt on the verge of tears. How could the girls always support her and yet the man she loved couldn’t offer her even a word of sympathy?
‘Look,’ Lewis said, from across the room. He held up the two dinosaurs he’d drawn.
‘Wow,’ Autumn said, shakily. ‘How clever are you?’
‘I’ve got to get back to work,’ Addison said, taking his chance to escape. ‘I’ve a million reports to write after the conference.’
Perhaps that was another problem. Addison was now so bogged down with paperwork and meetings and committees that he was weary and disillusioned. Maybe he’d lost sight of what they were actually trying to do here. Help drug addicts. Help people like Richard before it was too late.
‘I’ll swing by your place later.’
‘I promised I’d have dinner with Nadia and Lewis,’ she said. ‘I won’t be back until about ten.’
Addison looked quite put out.
Autumn relented. They wouldn’t get anywhere if they were both being stubborn. ‘I could call Nadia and cancel.’
‘Don’t bother,’ Addison said coolly. ‘There are things I can do. You enjoy your dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow or sometime.’
Autumn found herself sighing inside as he walked away. She loved him. She was sure she did. It was just sometimes recently she found it quite hard to like him.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chantal sipped the last of her tea. Now she couldn’t wait to leave. This was beyond awkward. She didn’t really know what she’d hoped for with this meeting, but maybe she’d wished that they could at least rub along together for the sake of their girls. Seemed as if that wasn’t to be. Years of strained relationships loomed ahead of them. Marvellous.
‘Thank you,’ Chantal said politely. ‘That was very nice.’ She stood to leave. ‘Oh, before I go, I bought you some chocolates.’ She delved into her bag, glad to be back on a safer subject. ‘They’re from my favourite place. At least accept these. Peace offering.’
Chantal handed her the gift and Stacey took it politely.
‘Thank you. That’s very kind,’ she said, stilted. Then Stacey noticed the label. ‘Oh, I love Chocolate Heaven. I don’t get there much, particularly not recently, but I’ve been a couple of times in the past.’
‘You have? It’s my favourite place. My spiritual home. My friend Lucy is running it at the moment, while the owners are away.’
‘What a great job.’ Stacey gazed at the chocolates longingly. ‘This is really very thoughtful of you and I don’t think I can resist these.’ She looked up at Chantal and her face was anxious, uncertain. ‘Shall we open them now?’
‘You want me to stay?’ Chantal said.
‘Yes.’ She risked a warmer smile. ‘If you would.’
Stacey tore off the lid and then gasped with delight. ‘Gorgeous.’ She went to hand them over to Chantal. ‘You first.’
‘No, no, no,’ Chantal said. ‘They’re yours.’
Picking one, she then passed them to Chantal. She chose one without even needing to refer to the menu that Lucy had popped inside. She knew her way round these chocolates as well as she knew the back of her hand.
‘Chocolate is my new best friend,’ Stacey said, savouring every bite. ‘These are delicious.’
Chantal laughed. ‘Why would we ever need men in our lives when we can have these bad boys?’
After a few minutes they were both more at ease and Chantal risked saying, ‘I should talk to you more about why I’m here.’ She took a deep breath. ‘This is difficult for me to say as I’m not sure it’s my business, but Ted has made it so.’
Stacey visibly tensed.
‘He really is worried about you,’ she said before her courage deserted her. ‘And you know Ted, he never notices anything.’ She tried a laugh again, but this time Stacey didn’t join in. Her mouth was dry as she continued, ‘I think it concerns him that you don’t have any friends or family locally to help you. That must be tough. We all need our friends around us.’
Stacey’s voice was suddenly serious. ‘I’m fine,’ she said, tightly. ‘Really. Everything’s fine.’
Though her jaw had set in a determined line, Chantal noted that the other woman’s eyes had also filled with tears.
‘This is a difficult time,’ Chantal said softly. ‘Having a new baby is incredibly testing. If anyone can empathise with that it’s me. I adore Lana, but I seem to be veering between ecstasy and despair every five minutes. There are some days when I feel like death warmed up and no matter what I do she won’t stop screaming.’ Chantal shrugged. ‘I wouldn’t change it for the world, but no one told me it would be this hard.’
Stacey said nothing. It would be simpler in many ways to get up and leave, to pretend this wasn’t her problem, but their futures were entwined now. That couldn’t be avoided.
‘We can’t undo the past, but we could make it easier going forward,’ Chantal pressed on. ‘We’re in each other’s lives now whether we like it or not. We might as well be frank with each other. If you want me to mind my own business and leave, then just tell me to clear off and I’ll go. But if you want me to do anything to help, if I can, I’ll do it. Though I have to say, it looks as if you’re doing a really great job.’
Stacey’s chin jutted. ‘I don’t need any help.’
Chantal held up her hands. ‘I’ll say goodbye then.’ She was so crap at this sort of thing. Lucy would have been so much better. The sooner she could gather up Lana and her stuff and get out of here, the better for both of them. ‘I hope we’ll be civilised when our paths cross, as they inevitably will. I hope our girls will become friends in the future, but I promise that I won’t interfere again.’
At that, Stacey promptly burst into tears. She dropped her head into her hands and sobbed her heart out.
Chantal stood frozen for a moment. Well, she hadn’t seen that coming. As soon as she gathered herself, she went to hug the weeping woman.
‘Hey,’ Chantal cooed. ‘Nothing can be that bad.’
Stacey cried harder.
Chantal patted her back. ‘What can I do?’ she murmured. ‘How can I help?’
‘Ted’s right,’ Stacey sniffed. ‘I’ve no one. My family are scattered all over the place. Mum and Dad are up in Scotland and they still have busy jobs. My brother and sister live overseas and they haven’t even seen Elsie yet. My friends are all high-fliers and they’re not interested in baby talk. They all came to see me when she was first born, brought ridiculously expensive and impractical gifts, then promptly disappeared.’
‘No wonder you’re struggling.’
Her sobbing renewed. ‘I’ve never felt so alone.’
What remained unspoken was, added to that, the father of her child lived with another woman. Chantal genuinely felt sorry for her.
She handed Stacey the cup of tea. ‘Here. Sip this.’
Stacey took it, gratefully.
‘A double brandy might be better.’
‘It’s a nice thought, but that might finish me off completely.’ Stacey sighed wearily. ‘I’ve been up all night,’ she admitted tearfully. ‘You should have seen the state of the house yesterday. When Ted said that you wanted to come round, I was up and cleaning until three o’clock this morning.’ The laugh she gave sounded slightly unhinged. ‘Then I was ironing until four. I had a backlog that looked like Mount Everest.’
‘You mad thing,’ Chantal chided.
‘I know. Then I washed my hair and put my make-up on so that you wouldn’t see how I normally look. I slept upright in the chair for an hour so that it wouldn’t smudge.’ She tried to push back the tears that trickled over her lashes. ‘I feel as if I’
ve hardly been out of the house since Elsie was born.’
Chantal frowned. She had to admit that she’d seen this woman as competition, but now she was sad for her. It could equally have been her in this position.
‘I’m used to running a multi-million-pound financial desk, for heaven’s sake,’ Stacey said. ‘Yet I can’t cope with a small baby. I love Elsie so much, but it’s so hard. I’ve been trying to stay strong and I simply can’t anymore.’
‘I know,’ Chantal soothed. ‘I know.’
‘Do you? Ted makes you sound perfect. How do you do it, Chantal?’
‘He does?’ She laughed out loud. ‘Oh, if only you knew.’
Stacey smiled despite her obvious distress.
‘I should have given you more notice or maybe just popped in on spec. But, to be honest, I was terrified of even coming to see you.’
‘That would have been much worse,’ Stacey admitted. ‘Now, at least, the house is tidy.’
They laughed together.
Chantal grasped her hand. ‘How silly we are.’
‘Thank you for coming, Chantal. I know our situation is difficult, but I do appreciate it.’
‘I only wish I’d known sooner. I admit that I’ve kind of been avoiding you.’ Chantal grimaced an apology. ‘We should try for our children’s sake to be friends.’
Stacey gulped back her tears. ‘I’d like that.’
‘It’s settled then.’ She felt relieved, too. ‘Friends?’
‘Friends,’ Stacey agreed.
‘Now, we can do one of two things. You can either go and have a lovely sleep while I look after this delicious little bundle for you. Or you can put your coat on and we can walk down to Chocolate Heaven and come up with a master plan.’
‘I’ve learned how to exist without sleep, so another few hours won’t kill me,’ Stacey said, brushing away her tears and pinning on a smile. ‘I could do with getting out of the house. Chocolate and master plan, please.’
Chantal squeezed her hand. ‘I have some lovely friends at Chocolate Heaven, Stacey, and I think you’re going to fit in just fine.’
Chapter Twenty-Four
Autumn and Lewis stayed for a while longer at the centre and then they walked down to the park. The sun was high in the sky, milky. There was little warmth from it, but it was nice to know it was there and trying its best, nonetheless.
As usual, the chilliness of the weather didn’t trouble Lewis and, as soon as they hit the gates, he raced off towards the swings. They were occupied again by the nice man and his daughter she’d met the other day, Miles Stratford and Florence. She felt cheered to see them.
Lewis made a bee-line straight for Florence and Autumn ambled up behind him.
‘Hey,’ Miles said when she approached. ‘We thought we were going to be on our own today. Only the most hardy souls are out in this weather.’
‘I don’t think four-year-old boys feel the cold,’ she said. ‘I have the devil’s own job getting Lewis to keep his coat on.’
‘I must have become soft in my old age,’ he said. ‘I’m freezing.’
‘Me too.’
‘What say we whizz them round the playground and then tempt them into the café with sugary treats? They’ll never know it’s a ploy.’
Autumn grinned at him. ‘Good idea. Let’s exploit them while we can.’
They duly went and pushed the children on the swings and then there was the obligatory go on every single piece of equipment, no matter how cursory. They were still done in under half an hour.
‘Excellent work,’ Miles said as they walked down towards the café again. ‘You’re brilliant with kids. Never thought to have any of your own?’
The question stabbed Autumn in the heart.
‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘Way too nosy.’
She shrugged. ‘That’s OK.’
There were very few others there and they got a table by the window overlooking the water. In the summer they had boats to rent and it would be nice to bring Lewis down here to row around the lake. She wondered if Miles and Florence would like to accompany them, ostensibly because Miles could do the rowing. Then she realised how far ahead she was thinking and flushed.
Miles whipped off his beanie hat to reveal his mop of chestnut hair. Autumn resisted the urge to tidy it for him. He went straight to the counter while she settled the children and, minutes later, returned with the drinks.
‘I’ll pay,’ Autumn said and handed over the money.
‘There’s really no need.’
‘I’d like to,’ she insisted.
The children tucked in to hot chocolate, both getting a blob of whipped cream on their noses.
‘You seem quiet,’ Miles said. ‘Distracted. Everything all right?’
Autumn sighed and it sounded shuddery and tired.
‘Not that it’s my business.’ Miles held up a hand. ‘That’s the second inappropriate thing I’ve asked you in ten minutes. Tell me to back off, if you like.’
Yet, for some reason, she felt like opening up to this kind and friendly man. He seemed to be someone who didn’t harbour dark secrets. A man who wore his heart on his sleeve.
‘It’s my brother, Richard,’ Autumn said. ‘He’s recently died and sometimes it just hits me all over again, like someone punching me in the stomach.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that. Were you close to each other?’
‘Very. My mother and father are still around, but I think it’s telling that I’ve barely spoken to them since Rich has been gone.’
‘That’s sad.’
‘Yes.’
‘And you’ve no one else?’
‘I rely very heavily on my friends. Lucy, Chantal and Nadia. They’re brilliant. We call ourselves the Chocolate Lovers’ Club.’ It sounded a bit silly, childish when she said it. ‘We’re very close.’
‘But there’s no other family?’
Autumn’s mouth went dry. She hadn’t said this out loud ever. Not to anyone. Not even to the Chocolate Lovers’ Club. For fourteen long years it had been her secret. She’d buried it deep down inside her but, since Rich had gone, it had been a pain that had become harder to ignore.
She took a deep breath. ‘Actually,’ she said, ‘I do have a daughter.’
Chapter Twenty-Five
I have been mad busy all day at Chocolate Heaven. We’re selling a range of upmarket Christmas novelties that I’ve bought in. There’s a big, fat Santa Claus, a white chocolate snowman – particularly tasty – some chocolate baubles with swirls of milk and dark chocolate, plus lots of other festive treats which are going down a storm. We’re really getting in the Christmas mood now. Alexandra has also made a nice reindeer chocolate cupcake complete with glittery red nose, and some gingerbread stars iced and studded with silver dragées. Delicious. I have fully embraced the arduous task of tasting them all for consumer research purposes. I can safely say that, at this rate, Clive and Tristan will be able to retire permanently to the south of France. Leaving me, Lucy Lombard, as permanent business manager and chief taster. It’s a plan.
I help myself to a hazelnut latte and a slice of coffee and walnut cake – lunch. Which I’m counting as at least two of my five a day. Walnuts are healthy, right? Though it’s no wonder I’m becoming decidedly more curvy. I can only hope that Crush proves to be a secret chubby chaser and likes the more Rubenesque woman. Ahem.
Just for five minutes, I sit at one of the tables in the window and breathe. Crush is right; I can’t keep going at this pace alone. I’m going to need some help. And soon. It’s something I’m going to have to address with Clive and Tristan. Yet I don’t like to bother them. I want them to think I’m capable and coping. To be honest, this is the first time in my life that I’ve been good at anything.
As the coffee kicks in and I’m starting to chill, the door opens and Chantal enters, followed by another woman also pushing a buggy. This can only be Stacey.
‘Hey,’ Chantal says. ‘Don’t get up. Looks like you need to sit for a while. It will
take us ages to get these two organised.’ She nods at the babies in their prams.
‘I’m just having lunch.’ I nod towards my coffee cake.
‘I could be tempted myself,’ Chantal says. ‘This is Stacey.’
I thought as much. ‘Lovely to meet you. Make yourself at home.’ I pat the chair next to me and budge up so that they can squeeze round the table.
‘She’s in need of some serious TLC.’
‘Then you’ve come to the right place. TLC is our speciality.’
Stacey sags with relief. She’s looking red-eyed and a little weary, but she’s quite a glamorous woman. ‘It’s nice to meet you.’
She holds out a hand for me to shake, but I stand up and hug her instead. There’s nothing of her. This woman definitely needs her chocolate and cake levels addressed. ‘I’m Lucy. Haven’t I seen you in here before?’
She nods. ‘I’ve been in a few times. It’s lovely.’
‘Thanks.’ Had no idea that this was the Stacey, though.
‘This woman needs chocolate and comfort immediately,’ Chantal says. ‘She’s been struggling on her own, but that all ends today.’
Stacey looks as if she might weep with gratitude.
Chantal heaves Lana out of her buggy and plonks her in my arms. ‘Take her coat off, Lucy. I’ll help Stacey.’
So I do as I’m told and Lana bears my inept ministrations with her usual good humour.
‘This is Elsie.’ Chantal holds up the new baby for inspection. ‘Is she not totally gorgeous?’
‘Very beautiful,’ I concur. And a lot like Ted.
Chantal settles Stacey and Elsie, then retrieves Lana.
‘Right,’ I say in a very determined manner for someone who would be quite happy to sink back into that comfy armchair. ‘I’m back on café duty. What can I get you guys?’
They reel off their orders and I make them as quickly as I can so that I can return to the gossip.
‘We need to get you some help. As soon as possible,’ Chantal says to Stacey in a voice that will brook no argument. ‘I’m going to organise a cleaner for you. That’s just for starters. Ted can pay up.’
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