by Terra Wolf
“Hungry like a wolf?” He winked and patted me on the back.
I was taken aback for a second, but he didn't react. He just smiled and threw the steak on the grill with the others.
My mother called after me, “Son, why don't you sit down and wait? She'll be out in a minute.”
It was like they were all conspiring against me. What was going on?
I didn't mean to be rude, but my gut instinct was to get inside my house as fast as I could. I pretended like I hadn't heard my mother call me and continued on into the house.
Janelle looked up from the pot she was stirring and welcomed me. “Hi, stranger! Hope you don't mind that I'm using your kitchen. Your mom said it shouldn't be a problem.”
I looked at her reflection in the mirror that hung above the stove top. Nothing seemed to have changed about her. She was just as beautiful as she had been in my dreams. She smiled brightly and waited for a response from me. When she didn't get one, she continued speaking, “How was your day? Your mom said you went to take care of some business. You must be starving.” She looked me squarely in the eyes, as if challenging me.
I moved closer to her, breathing her sweet scent in.
She stepped closer to me, timidly. “Are you okay, Gabriel?”
“Yes.” I answered quietly.
For a moment, we stood staring into each other’s eyes, not saying a word. I was transfixed by her gorgeous brown eyes and full lips. Everything I rushed inside believing, no longer mattered. I wanted nothing more than to kiss her.
I stepped closer to her again, pulling her to me. She leaned on me, laying her head near my heart. I don't know what came over me. It's like I lost my senses. I wrapped my arms around her snugly and held her to me, breathing in her intoxicating scent.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.
I looked down at her, lifting her chin with my hand and caressed her face as I leaned down to touch my lips to hers. I tasted her sweet mouth. She purred as my hands followed her jaw line and moved down to her long neck, kissing her again and again.
Something primal came over me. I couldn't stop myself. My hands followed the contours of her firm body, stopping at her hips. I had to have her. I had to make her mine. She didn't protest. She didn't squirm away. She let me touch her.
“I need you,” I said between breaths.
“And, you always will,” she whispered back.
I moved our nearly intertwined bodies toward the living room, out of the line of sight of my visitors. As we reached the threshold, the kitchen door squeaked open and the last person I thought I'd see ever again walked in my door.
“Who is this?” Janelle's quiet tone turned to anger as she scowled at our intruder.
“What are you doing here?” I asked in disbelief.
“Get her out of here.” Janelle lunged for the door like a wild beast. I tried to grab her, but it was too late. She was in full on attack mode. I'd never seen a woman move that way.
From outside, I could hear my mother yelling. “Get out of here! You shouldn't be here! Go now!”
The sound of my mother's voice brought me back to reality.
What had I done? Why had I kissed her?
“Get out,” I screamed at the top of my lungs before a guttural growl emerged from deep inside my throat and lashed out at everyone and no one. “Get out of my house!”
A furious Janelle craned her neck to look back at me. She laughed a sadistic laugh, mocking me and my anger. “You will finish this,” she spat her words.
My mother forced her way in the door, followed by Father Reynolds.
“Stop this now! Make it stop, Gabriel!”
I was surprised by her commands. Why did she believe that I could reverse this?
Father Reynolds couldn't believe what he was witnessing. He stood with his mouth and eyes gaping open, terrified by what he thought couldn't possibly be real.
Episode Three
A low, sinister growl escaped from Janelle's throat as her back arched forward, sending her slumping to the floor on all fours like a wild beast. All eyes were on her, no one capable of moving, no one except my father.
"Your clan was warned to stay away from my family. Did you think I wouldn't find out?"
His words were like a dagger to my heart. He never treated us like family. How dare he lay claim to us now.
"It's too late, Moreno," Janelle warned. "You're too late."
My mother shoved past my father, aiming for Janelle. "What is this? Leave this house now!"
Every fiber of my being told me to grab her and get her as far away from here, from all of this as possible, but I still didn’t have a full grasp of what this was. I had no point of reference. Nothing made sense.
As my father and Janelle squared off, each daring the other to make a move, all I could do was stand and watch in horror. This wasn't supposed to happen. This was precisely why I'd lived in denial for so long.
Father Reynolds couldn't wrap his mind around what he was witnessing. He reached for Janelle to pull her writhing body up from the ground but she lashed out at him, ordering him to leave her alone.
Confusion was written all over my mother's face. I could see that she didn't know how to respond. My crew watched, anxiously awaiting my orders to do something, but I didn't know what to say to them. I had no idea how I was supposed to react. Not as a human. The animal side of me had other plans though.
Janelle stirred and spun out of control, screaming and crying out. No one could help her. No one was sure they wanted to. Then, the beautiful woman was gone, replaced by a vile wolf, bent on destruction. Saliva oozed from her mouth as she lunged forward to frighten us. Her nostrils flared up, breathing in the fear we felt. Something in me stirred. I could feel the change coming. I fought it. Resisted it, willing it not to happen.
"Marnie, leave the room,” my father ordered my mother.
To my surprise, she quickly retreated, taking a stunned Father Reynolds with her. The beast in her didn't flinch. Her uncle wasn’t her intended target. It was me she wanted. That was clear.
My father moved to her, not fearing what she could do to him. He had a plan. I didn't know what, but I knew him well enough to know that he was waiting for the right time, the right moment to attack. I'd seen him go for a kill before. I fully believed that he would strike when the time was right.
Behind my father, my crew entered the room. Some already had left their human forms and entered into their wolf forms. Instinctively, they knew to follow the alpha male, my father. They waited, anxious to attack, prepared to die, if it came to that.
The beast Janelle felt threatened by their sudden appearance. Did she really believe that someone like me would roam the world alone? I'd spent my lifetime building a close circle of others like me. I may not have had my father, but I had them. They were my clan -- my army of feral wolves.
"Gabriel, don't fight it," my father warned.
I was doing my best to fight it. I had become an expert at denying my birthright. I knew how to control my urge to change. I refused to let my mother witness what I was. Not now. Not ever.
I scowled at my father, warning him not to disclose my secret. My mother didn't need to know yet. What good would it do for her to know?
"You aren't welcome here." Rage burned in my belly as I spoke to both of them. Neither of them had any place in my home, in my life. I'd been duped by one two times too many and the other would never truly win my love. Distinguishing one from the other felt like an impossible task. Neither could be trusted. Neither would be ignored.
Jesse in beast form moved forward, ready to pounce if necessary. One wave of my father's hand and he retreated, taking the others with him. I could hear my mother's horrified gasps in the next room. She had no idea. In that instant, everything that had seemed so normal, so routine, had suddenly disappeared and was replaced by this – this new, different reality. No one was who she thought they were, including me. She may not have witnessed my transformation yet, but putting all the cl
ues together, she knew. I'd hoped that she'd never find out, but I could hear it in her soft cries that she fully understood what I was.
…
"I'm sorry. I should have told you, Mom." I'd spent the better part of the night apologizing profusely for keeping secrets from my mother. I don't know if she was more disappointed by what I was or that I'd kept it from her in the first place.
"I just don't understand. All these years, son? All this time? I spent so much time worrying that I'd done something wrong or that I didn't know what I was doing." She paused, brushing fresh tears off her cheeks with the back of her hand.
I'd never felt so horrible in all of my life. My efforts to keep her safe – safe from me and safe from all the dangers I discovered existed in the world – failed on every level. Disappointing my sweet, sometimes neurotic mother, had never been my goal. That's not the kind of son or man I wanted to be. I justified not telling her by tricking myself into believing that I was nothing like my father, but what I'd actually done is proven that I was like him in more ways than I could bring myself to ever admit.
Shame washed over me as I watched her cry. She wouldn't let me hug her. She'd never shunned my affections before. I'd hurt her and I wanted to die for doing that to her.
"Mom? I never meant to hurt you. I'm-"
"Hurt me? What? You didn't hurt me. I hurt you. I should have never..." Her voice broke. Choosing her words was equally difficult for her. Things had gone too far. There was nothing I could do to reverse what she'd just witnessed.
I threw myself on the chair opposite her and said nothing. My mind raced as I recounted the events of the last few hours. Janelle's transformation and her threats made at us plus my father's sudden appearance and my crew's efforts to help, they were all too much for anyone, especially my mother, to comprehend.
Father Reynolds had to be escorted home. He would never be the same again, I'm sure. The whole day had spiraled out of control and there was no hope of recovering.
"I know what to do." My mother finally regained her composure. "Please, just let me think and we can talk about this later."
I couldn't argue with her. Despite my fear for her safety and her sanity, I couldn't tell her not to try. I was familiar with her spells to ward off evil and knew that she would rely on them. I also knew all too well that they would do her no good in my case. I'd tried countless times before over the years. Nothing worked. I couldn't change my DNA. My father would always be my father and I would always be a member of his clan, like it or not.
…
"Why did you let this happen?"
I'd hoped that my father wouldn't have had the nerve to return after all that had happened, but he did and now he would have to answer our questions. We'd gone too long without answers to so many questions about him and his life and what that would mean to me.
"Marnie, I didn't," he started. "I didn't want this to happen. I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen. You called me crazy. You..." he stopped, knowing it would do him no good now.
"I deserved the truth. My son deserved the truth." I'd not seen my mother this angry in all of my life. She stared at him with venom in her eyes. It was obvious their shared history brought all the pain she’d suffered because of him back.
I wanted to throw him out of my home, out of our lives, but the truth was, we needed him right now. Something had gone horribly wrong and, unfortunately, the only one who could help up was him.
"I made mistakes. I admit that. I've had to live with those mistakes, but I want you both to know that what I did, I did out of love."
That was it. I couldn't listen to any more of it. I'd heard it all before and I was tired of it. "The only person you love is yourself! Don't stand here trying to tell us how much you loved us when you did nothing for years. Thirty-four years of your lies, your denial, your--"
He stood up, our eyes even with each other. "I did what I had to do. It was all for you!" A lone tear escaped his hardened eyes. I couldn't feel sorry for him. I couldn't allow myself to react. None of it was real. I knew in my heart that this was another morsel of nothingness from him to buy him time. He made me sick.
My mother exhaled, exhausted from years of manipulation and aggravation because of my father. "Enough, Mark. It's done. Now, you fix it. Tell me how you plan to make this go away." Her voice cracked as she spoke. I could physically see her struggle to control her anger and her pain. I wanted to comfort her. Next to my father, she looked so small, so diminutive, but also defiant and strong. I knew her to be strong. I couldn't allow any more lies to break her. She didn't deserve that.
"I'll handle it," my father spoke.
"How?" She looked into his eyes.
He didn't reply. I could see it in his face that somewhere in the hollow recesses of his cold, dark soul lived a heart – a heart that may have cared for my mother at one time.
…
Jesse patted me on the back. "Tag. Looks like your it."
I didn't laugh. I didn't see the humor in it and really didn't understand how he could see the humor in my situation. According to my father, Janelle was looking for a suitable mate, someone she could breed with and lay claim to the Wildcat Hills once and for all.
For years, my family's clan called those hills and trees theirs. Now, with the numbers of wolves dwindling by astronomical proportions due to widespread expansion and building to accommodate people leaving cities and seeking refuge in small areas, Janelle's clan was desperate to expand.
No one yet understood why they chose me specifically, but at this point, it didn't matter. Regardless of the reason, I was their primary target and, if my father was right, they'd do whatever they could to lure me into their trap.
"Well, you do have to give them credit," Jesse teased. "It was smart to start with someone that looks like Janelle. I wouldn't have been able to resist."
"Don't give me credit. I almost got snared. If my father hadn't shown up, I wouldn't be standing here with you right now. I'm sure her clan would have already used me and murdered me by now." I shuddered at the thought of leaving my mother alone in the world and at possibly never seeing Regina again.
As if he was reading my thoughts, Jesse asked, "And, what about Regina? What are you going to do there?"
"Nothing." I shrugged. "She's gone."
"Yeah, but she came back. What did she want? It couldn't have been that she forgot her toothbrush. That's not how women think. She came back for a reason and I'm willing to bet, that reason was to see you because she missed you." Jesse almost made sense, except for the fact that Regina didn't behave like a typical woman. She was no damsel in distress. She always did things her way. It was part of the reason why I loved her so much. Lying to her wasn't easy, but it was necessary. My whole life centered on denying a part of myself so that I could have a sense of normalcy. The chips were already stacked against me. While it wasn't unusual to be raised by a single mom in most places, it was unusual for someone from a tight-knit community, where everyone could set their clocks to your sleep schedule. Everyone monitored everyone else’s moves. Everyone took special interest in what their neighbor was doing and why. A single mom stood out like a sore thumb around here. There were rumors, gossip, and uncomfortable conversations. I remembered them. My mother shrugged them off because she was stronger than everyone else. She had pride. That and her spiritual beliefs carried her through when things got tough.
My parents were no strangers to anyone. Having an eccentric mother made for curious neighbors. There was a lot of talk about what they thought happened between them. Even worse, there were countless rumors about who my father could have been. No one wanted to believe that the cop could possibly be my father. He was too good a man in their eyes. He’d never leave his family. They blamed my mother for her situation. They assumed that her child’s father was a nameless, faceless man in a crowd and not right under their noses. I'd heard it my whole life. I was Marnie's son. Everyone for miles around knew all about my mother and her antics. While no one ev
er said it to our faces, there was plenty of talk about how she was a witch doctor or something equally as foreign to western Nebraska residents.
It was true that my mother had unusual beliefs and ways of doing things, but she was never one to want any pity. She worked hard. She took care of me. She did everything for me and never once complained. It didn't matter that people knew she'd been left alone with a child. Everyone assumed it was because she'd gotten pregnant with another man's child. That was the story I'd heard all of my life. It burned me every time I heard it. It didn't help that my actual father never bothered to come forward and tell anyone the truth or whatever his current version of the truth was.
Despite all that I'd endured as a child, Regina loved and accepted me. How could I possibly tell her that there was a darker part of me? Doing so would mean I'd be handing her a ready-made excuse to never speak to me again. I couldn't and wouldn't risk that, so I blocked that part of myself out of my mind. I ignored it until it simply disappeared. I knew somewhere in the recesses of my mind that it still remained, but somehow, either through dumb luck or something as simple as my mother's doing, it remained dormant.
My mother always worked up some concoction to ward off one thing or another and I took it for granted that perhaps one of her many attempts to keep me safe may have actually worked and kept the wolf at bay. That was my saving grace. It gave me a chance at love and I swore I'd never let anything stand in its way.
I had no other words to say. Jesse would never know my plight. I shrugged and walked back to the stables. I needed time to process alone.
…
"Did you get any sleep?" My father motioned for me to sit down in the chair opposite his desk.
