by Marie Force
“And they will be, too. I promise.”
“I think about Connor every day—how old he’d be and what he’d be doing and how much he’d love having a baby brother and new baby sisters coming.”
“I think about him, too. How there should be four of them.”
“Except we wouldn’t have Mac if he had lived.”
“True. And It’s already impossible to imagine life without him.” Their happy, sunny baby boy was the spitting image of his daddy, and they adored him.
“Another Mac McCarthy. I hope the world is ready for him.”
“With you as his mom, he’s going to be the best Mac McCarthy yet.”
“It’s going to be hard for him to top his father and grandfather.”
“We’ll see about that. You need to close your eyes and get some rest. The natives will be restless in the morning.”
“Love you, Mac.”
“Love you more, Madeline.”
“Not possible.”
Mac fell asleep with a smile on his face. With her in his arms and their babies sleeping soundly, everything was right in his world.
* * *
Chloe was keeping something from him. Something other than the fact he planned to leave was stopping her from giving them a chance. Finn puzzled it through from every angle as he cleaned up after their dinner, opened another beer and took it outside to the backyard that now felt lonely and bereft without her and Ranger to keep him company.
He turned on his phone, which went wild with text messages and voicemails. Seventy-eight of the former and twenty-two of the latter.
What the fuck?
Finn made the mistake of reading the first couple of messages before deleting the rest along with the voicemails.
Missy had clearly lost her mind.
He responded with one text: I’m sorry you got the wrong impression about us but behaving this way won’t change anything. Please don’t contact me again. After sending that message, he blocked her number. Then he realized his hands were shaking.
The phone rang, startling him until he realized it was Riley.
He took the call. “What’s up?”
“That’s what I called to ask you after you barely said a word to anyone at work today.”
“We were busy.”
“Cut the shit, Finn. What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing.” Everything. Tell him. “I… I told Missy we were done, and she freaked out. She said she’d booked a wedding venue for next year. Can you believe that?” When Riley had no reply, Finn said, “Ri?”
Riley’s deep sigh said it all. “Yeah, man, I believe it. That chick is crazy. Dad and I have been telling you that for years, but you never wanted to hear it.”
“Well, you were right. She blew up my phone, and I blocked her.”
“I’m surprised you actually told her it was over. What brought that on?”
“After seeing you with Nicholas and Dad with Chelsea, I realized a lot of things are missing in my relationship with Missy, things I don’t want to live the rest of my life without.”
“Hallelujah, you’ve seen the light! Dad and I have been hoping you’d figure that out before you did something foolish like marry her. She’s not a bad person. She’s just not the one for you.”
“After tonight’s performance, I feel like I’ve dodged a bullet.”
“You have for sure. I just hope you’ve seen the last of her.”
Finn’s stomach dropped at the thought of having to see her again. “I hope so, too.”
“On a lighter note, how’s Chloe?”
“She’s amazing, but I don’t think anything’s going to come of it. She’s not really interested in something serious, and I’m a short-timer anyway.”
“Are you listening to yourself right now?”
“What’re you talking about?”
“You’ve possibly met the one, and you’re still talking about leaving? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Before Finn could begin to process that, Riley continued. “You were there when I met Nikki and after she left. You saw what torture that was for me, for months, not knowing if I’d ever see her again. You really want to go through hell like I did before you pull your head out of your ass and figure out that everything you want and need is right here? How long do you think you’re going to be back in Connecticut before you realize you’ve made the biggest mistake of your life?”
Finn held the phone away from his ear, waiting for Riley to finish his tirade.
“Finn!”
“Oh, are you finished?”
“Did you hear anything I said?”
“I heard every word.”
“So you’re staying, and that’s it.”
“I never said that.”
“I don’t get it, Finn. You say you want to get a life. You have a life—a damned good one right here, and now there’s this possibility with Chloe, and you’re going to just chuck that without even trying to see what it might be? I never regretted anything more in my entire life than letting Nikki leave before I had a chance to know her. It took about two seconds after I realized she was gone to know that I had missed out on something important. If you leave without pursuing this thing with Chloe, I promise you won’t even be clear of the breakwater before you want to come back.”
“She says it’s not what she wants.”
“Bullshit. Nikki and I both saw the way she looked at you at Janey’s, as if she wanted something she couldn’t have. You have to earn her trust so she’ll feel safe to give you a chance.”
“What if it’s not about trust? What if she genuinely doesn’t want the same things I do?”
“If that’s the case, then at least you’ll know you tried. If you don’t try, you’ll regret it. I promise you that.”
Finn already knew that, but Riley’s words had stirred something in him and lit a fire that couldn’t be contained. “Should I go over there?”
“Hell yes.”
“What if she tells me to get lost?”
“Then leave. But if you don’t go…”
“I’ll never know.”
“Exactly. Go for it, Finn.”
“Okay.” Riley’s pep talk had stoked the fire inside Finn into an inferno of need and want and desire to feel the way he did with her. Only with her. “Crap. I had three beers. Can’t drive.”
“I’ll call Ned. He’ll come get you.”
“You’re sure this is the right thing to do, Ri?”
“I’m positive. I’ll call Ned now. Keep an eye out for him.”
“Should I text her?”
“Text her when you’re there. Tell her you’re outside, and it’s totally her call whether she wants to see you or not. Leave it up to her. Say you’ll leave if she says no.”
“Okay. I’m kind of nervous.”
“Because she matters, Finn. That’s what makes her different from everyone else. If you weren’t nervous, I wouldn’t tell you to go to her. I’m calling Ned now. Text me later and let me know how it went.”
“I will. Thanks, Ri.”
“No problem.”
For a long time after Riley ended the call, Finn stared at the phone in his hand, trying to get his head around what he’d just agreed to do. He was going to her house. He would see her again soon. The tingling began at the back of his neck and danced down his spine, replacing his nervousness with excitement.
Finn went inside to splash water on his face, comb his hair and brush his teeth. Then he put on a small dab of cologne and immediately felt silly for doing that. What did he think was going to happen? She’d probably tell him to get lost. Hell, she might even be asleep already after a long day at work and another one on tap for tomorrow.
This was stupid.
He shouldn’t go over there.
Except the tingling continued unabated, just from the thought of seeing her again. And then a toot from outside let him know Ned had arrived. Finn stared at his reflection in the mirror. “Here goes nothing.”
/> Or maybe everything.
Riley was right. If he didn’t try, he’d never know for sure.
Finn walked out of the house and got into the woody station wagon driven by Big Mac’s best friend, Ned Saunders. “Hope I didn’t get you out of bed.”
“Nah. I was out and about seein’ as my wife is sitting with Tiffany’s kids while she does inventory at the store. Blaine had ta go ta the mainland. Somethin’ about his brother being in trouble. Gotta pick up the missus in half an hour. Where we goin’? Yer brother didn’t say when he called me.”
Finn gave him the address.
“That’s where Chloe lives.”
“I know.”
Ned glanced over at him. “You been keepin’ things from us?” Ned was like an uncle to all the McCarthy kids and was usually in the know about everything in their lives.
“Nope.”
“Hmmm. Chloe’s a nice girl.”
“I agree.”
They rode in silence along the island’s dark, winding roads, stopping at the end of Chloe’s driveway a few minutes later. “No need to pull in.”
“How ya getting’ home?”
“I’ll walk. No worries.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’ll get yerself killed walking out here in the middle of the night. Call me. I’ll come getcha.” He handed Finn a business card. “Don’t matter what time ’tis.”
“Thank you.”
“That girl… She’s tough on the outside, but there’s somethin’ almost fragile ’bout her. Can’t put my finger on what, but there’s somethin’.” Ned looked over at him. “Be careful with her, ya hear?”
“I hear you, and I will. I promise.”
Ned seemed satisfied with Finn’s assurances.
He got out of the car and waved to Ned as he drove away, leaving Finn alone in the dark. And dark on Gansett Island was a whole other level of dark. With every nerve ending in his body tingling, Finn withdrew his phone and sent a text to Chloe.
Are you still up?
Yes…
I’m outside. Can I see you?
For a long, agonizing minute, there was nothing, and then the bubbles appeared that indicated she was replying. He held his breath.
You’re here?!?
Yes, but not in a weird stalker way. I promise. I just want to talk to you. The minute you and Ranger left my house, I missed you. He pressed Send before he could talk himself out of saying something so revealing.
From his vantage point at the end of her driveway, he saw a light go on over her door.
Where are you? I don’t see your truck.
Ned dropped me. I had too many beers to drive.
She opened the door and called to him. “Are you really out there?”
He walked down the driveway toward the light. “I really am.”
“What’re you doing here, Finn?”
“I don’t know, Chloe.” The uncertainty he’d heard in her voice had him wondering if this was the worst idea Riley had ever had. Finn took a step back, regretting that he’d allowed his brother to talk him into this ill-fated mission. “I’ll go if you want me to. I shouldn’t have come.”
“Don’t go.”
He stopped.
She’d removed her makeup, which left her seeming far more vulnerable than usual, as if she’d lost her armor. Then she rolled her bottom lip between her teeth, and the vulnerability was all he saw.
“Chloe…”
She opened the door and held it open, inviting him into her home.
Chapter 12
Drawn by the powerful pull he’d experienced from the beginning, he moved toward her, fully aware that crossing the threshold into her home would give this thing that had been simmering between them new meaning. It would change everything, perhaps forever.
He went anyway.
As he stood in front of her, neither of them seemed to breathe.
“I’ve never done anything even remotely like this.”
“Like what?”
“Showing up at someone’s house in the middle of the night because I can’t bear to stay away.”
“I’ve never done anything like this either.”
“Like what?” Emotion had reduced his voice to a gruff whisper.
“Like this.” She took a step to close the distance between them, and Finn stopped breathing when she flattened her hands on his chest and slid them up to curl around his neck. Then she went up on tiptoes to press her lips to his, and he nearly passed out from the flood of adrenaline and desire that surged through him like a tsunami.
Want. Need. Desire. Yearning. It seemed like everything he could possibly feel came over him at the same instant, leaving him astounded and wanting more. So much more. For the longest time, they stood in her doorway, arms wrapped around each other, tongues tangling in a desperate dance. How could this be called kissing? The word was too simple to describe what the stroke of her tongue against his did to him. And that she seemed to want him every bit as much as he wanted her…
Overwhelming.
The kiss became urgent as they each tried to get closer to each other.
Finn tightened his hold on her and lifted her to walk them the short distance to her sofa, where he lowered her and came down on top of her—without breaking the kiss.
She made a hungry, needy-sounding noise that traveled straight to his cock, which was so hard, it ached.
Christ have mercy.
The last thing he wanted to do was slow down, but he needed to be sure she wanted what he did, which was everything. He wanted every single thing he could have with her—and only her, which was an amazing realization for a guy who’d never wanted that with any woman before her.
“Chloe…”
She tightened her hold on his hair, and the slight pinch of pain only ramped up the desire that pounded through him like an extra heartbeat.
“Sweetheart, wait.”
She raised her hips, pressing the heat of her body against his straining erection. “Don’t want to wait.”
Finn’s brain went completely blank. Was she saying she wanted… Then he said something he had never before said when a woman was making it very clear that she wanted to get naked with him. “We should talk about this.”
“No, we really shouldn’t.”
“But…” He thought about what she’d said to him earlier, about not being able to get involved and the sense he’d gotten that she had been keeping something important from him, something that would keep her from doing exactly what they were now on the verge of doing.
“Finn.” She touched her finger to his lips. “Stop talking.”
He wanted what she wanted. He wanted it more than he’d ever wanted anything, but he wasn’t looking for a one-night stand. Not with her. She was already too important for one night to ever be enough. So even though every part of him wanted to take her directive to shut up and press on, his better judgment screamed louder than all the other parts of him that were demanding instant gratification.
“Wait.” It pained him to draw back from her, to put the brakes on something that felt so damned good. But before this went any further, they were going to talk about it. He sat back, ran his fingers through his hair and tried to calm down.
She closed her eyes and sighed—deeply.
A long, charged silence lingered between them.
Ranger wandered out from the bedroom, took a look at Finn and then turned around and went back to bed, seeming satisfied that his mom was with a friend who provided steak.
“What’re we doing here, Chloe?”
“Do you need me to explain the birds and the bees to you, Finn?”
Under normal circumstances, he’d find the comment funny. Under these circumstances, he was not amused. “A couple of hours ago, you left my house after telling me you simply couldn’t do this. And now you want to… Well, you’re sending me mixed messages, and I’m having a little trouble keeping up. Despite how it might seem with the way I showed up here, I want to respect your wishes, but
I also want to understand. I’m very confused.”
“I’m sorry to do that to you.”
“Don’t be sorry.” He reached for her hand, careful not to go near her swollen knuckles.
Tears flooded her eyes.
“Tell me what’s wrong.” Her tears gutted him. “Make me understand.”
“I’m not looking for a serious relationship.”
“So what was this going to be, then? A one-night stand?”
She sat up, withdrew her hand from his light grip, wrapped her arms around herself and diverted her gaze. “That’s all I’m capable of. I wish it could be more—”
“If you wish it could be more, why can’t it be more?”
“Other than the fact that you’re not going to live here anymore in a few days?”
“Other than that. If you give me a chance, if you give us a chance, I’ll stay.”
Chloe shook her head. “Don’t say what you think I want to hear.”
“I already told you I never say anything I don’t mean. If you’re willing to make a go of this, I would stay.”
She rested her head on the back of the sofa and gazed at him with the stunning eyes that had held him in her thrall from the beginning. “You can’t change your plans for me, Finn.”
“Yes, I can.”
“No, you really can’t.”
“Tell me why not.”
“I’m dealing with some things. It’s just…” Glancing down, she took a deep breath. “It’s not the right time for something like this. It’s not you, so please don’t think that. You’re amazing and wonderful, and if things were different…”
He wondered if she heard the way her voice wavered as she tried to let him down easy. The landing had never hurt more. “I hear what you’re saying, and even though I don’t understand it, I’ll respect your wishes. But I want you to know…” His throat closed, and for a terrifying second, he feared he would lose his composure. “I want you to know that I’ve never felt for anyone else what I do for you. And if you change your mind, call me, text me, come to me. I’ll always want to see you.”
Finn kissed her forehead and then forced himself to get up, to walk away from her when every fiber of his being was telling him to stay. But she’d made her wishes clear—more than once—and it was time to cut his losses as painful as that would be.
