“Excuse me?”
“You heard. You vanish and leave her in an emotional mess. Again. Then swan back and whisk her off. Again. I’m sick of picking up the pieces of your mess.”
“Hold on a minute. I did not leave her. She left after I asked her for a relationship. I didn’t leave. I went to Manchester to work. I’d suggest you get your facts straight before you throw around any more accusations.”
“You’re splitting hairs, you did leave. What I want to know is why are you rushing this? She’s only just getting things together and you just change the game again.”
“I can assure you, Jess, nothing is a game when it comes to Isabel.”
She pauses, seeming to assess my statement. I stare her down and prepare for her next barrage.
“Well, if you feel that way, why are you rushing things?”
“I’m not rushing anything. She needs a place to live, a home, and I want her with me. Plus Phil knows that she will be with you. She was terrified. I won’t have it. Especially when I can help. She’s just being stubborn about moving in. It shouldn’t matter how long we’ve been together. I love her and she loves me. You need to get used to me being in her life, because I’m not going anywhere.” She flops down on the chair and crosses her arms. She reminds me of a young child throwing a tantrum.
“There’s no need to be so romantic about it,” Jess pouts.
I take a seat at the other end of the room.
“Look, Jess, we both care about Izzy and want what’s best for her. It’s my job to look after her and care for her. I can’t do that properly while she’s with you.”
“You don’t mind that she’s still married?”
If she thinks Izzy’s marital status would stop me, she really is delusional. In response I raise my eyebrows and stare at her.
“I only ask because she said something that suggested that you didn’t like that she was still married.”
“What did she say?” I rack my brains for anything that would have given her that impression.
“She said that you wanted more from the relationship and that you didn’t like that she was still married.”
I know what conversation that was—the one that crushed every part of me. Admitting that I wanted all in wasn’t hard. The risk that she wouldn’t choose me was the biggest gamble of my life, but Izzy didn’t understand. I needed her to choose me and stop retreating back to her marriage. I wanted her to admit her true feelings and have the courage to stand up for herself.
“What I said was that I wanted more from our relationship than currently existed. I wanted her exclusively and I wasn’t willing to settle for the moments she could squeeze me in only to watch her retreat back to Phil.”
“So you don’t want her to get a divorce?”
“Oh, hell yes, I do. But her not having one isn’t going to stop my relationship moving forward with her. She’s made her choice and it’s me.” Jess has a lot of guts to challenge me. Not a lot of friends would do that.
I wonder what Natasha will say when she finds out. As my mentor, she’s probably going to be mad as hell that I haven’t spoken to her sooner. I’m going to have to tell her everything. At least she can stop trying to set me up with her ‘take’ on an appropriate sub for me.
“Look, Jess, I’m going to be completely honest with you. I’ve waited a long time for Izzy to walk into my life. She means the world to me, and I finally feel that I’ve found the right woman. I don’t care that she’s married. We started our relationship in an unconventional fashion. That doesn’t stop me loving her or wanting to start my life with her.” Things will be a lot easier if Jess just accepts that we’re not on different sides. I can tell that the honesty has helped. Jess’s body language has softened, and with luck, so has her opinion of me.
I sit and wait. I don’t know what her game plan for tonight was, but if she thinks to drive us apart, she’s going to have to change it. I won’t change my mind about Izzy.
“You really love her. It’s not just an affair?”
“Of course not.”
“Okay then.” She stands and starts towards the door, our conversation over and her mind made up.
“I’ll be outside tomorrow morning for her. Make sure she’s packed up,” I say as Jess walks out.
She doesn’t answer. I hear the bang of the door closing behind her.
I hardly sleep all night, worrying about how I will leave Jess when she’s clearly still mad at my decision. Being up at the crack of dawn means that I’m all packed and ready to move my suitcases.
I hear a gentle knock at my door and Jess’s voice. “Knock, knock. Can I come in?”
“Of course.” I drop a folded shirt into my suitcase.
Jess slips inside the room and waits by the doorway. She looks a little unsure of herself, which is completely out of character.
“Are you okay?” I say.
“Yes, I’m… I just came to say I’m sorry, and to ask if you needed any help packing?” She grins up at me from under her lashes.
“Really?”
“Really. I shouldn’t have gotten so angry, and I might have been a little hasty with my judgement. I want you to do what is right for you. If this is it, then I’m good with it.” Relief crashes over me and lifts my spirits. I should have been ecstatic about moving in with Seb, but my fight with Jess put a damper on my buzz.
“Thank you, Jess. It means such a lot for you to tell me that. I promise you that this is what I want. I’m just getting there a little quicker than expected.” We giggle a little, relieving the remaining tension between us.
“For the record, you said you wanted to take control of your life by moving out on your own. The next thing, you’re moving in with him. Try and see it from my point of view. I just want you to be happy. I don’t want to have to see sad Izzy again.”
“I know, I know. I don’t think I could have done this without you. Thank you.”
“Now come on. I believe Seb might be waiting outside for you.”
“Already?”
“Are you packed?”
“Nearly. It didn’t take much. When I turned up here I only had a couple of suitcases.”
“Do you think he’ll come in and get you?” Jess has a naughty look in her eye.
“I think if he could, he’d come in here and drag me out.”
“You’d better finish your coffee and packing before he comes in, then.”
“Do you have any more things you need to collect?” Seb asks when we get to his home.
“Not really. There will be some possessions and trinkets still at the house, but I’m in no rush.” Seb has carried my cases into my room.
“You can unpack some of your clothes into your wardrobes, but I want you in my room. This will still be your room to have your own space, but I want you next to me.” He’s looking down at me with a half-smile on his face. He looks smug, which is a completely new look for him. “Do you remember the rules we first discussed?”
I cock my head to the side, a little unclear on what he means. “No tights. I prefer dresses and skirts. I’m sure I haven’t seen all of the underwear you bought. Those rules.” His smile has turned into a devilish grin now, which sets my heartbeat racing. I try to tap my desire down and process what Seb’s asking.
“So, the underwear and clothes are permanent rules?” I can cope with the underwear. My dress and skirt collection isn’t vast, though, and is usually reserved just for work. “What about jeans and more casual clothes?” My heartbeat is picking up, but for completely different reasons. I don’t want to be dictated to about what I wear all the time. Wearing certain clothes for meeting with Seb was one thing, but keeping that up permanently…
“We’ll take it a step at a time. Don’t worry. If you have any questions then talk to me.” Seb places sure hands on my shoulders and pulls me against his chest. I wrap my arms around him and breathe him in, relaxing against his strength. “We can talk more about this tonight. I want you to get settled in first. If we need to get you an
ything else then we can pop out.”
“Alright, that sounds good.” He leans down to kiss me, forcing my doubts from my mind.
I spend the next hour unpacking my clothes and arranging them in the wardrobes. Seb has explained that there is room for some of my things in his room as well, so I keep my wardrobes full of work wear. My ‘good’ underwear joins the lingerie that have been here since I bought them. I sneak a look into the drawer that held all of the toys Seb had me purchase. Everything is still in place, but I close that drawer quickly.
I pick up my anklet and sit down on the bed. I stare at it, as if it holds the answers to all of my problems. Admittedly, they don’t seem significant at the moment. I can’t shake the uncertainty that has set in since Seb talked to me about rules, though. I run the anklet around in my hands and think about the significance of the piece of jewellery. Seb gave it to me to signify my submission to him, to give him permission to take control and to tell him that I am his. Does that still stand, even with us living together?
Submitting to Seb is a craving I know I need more of, but we’ve grown past that. We love each other and want to have a life together. That doesn’t mean I want to stop the sexy stuff, but I’m not sure how it fits into day-to-day life. Seb has told me we’ll talk later. Perhaps I’m just getting myself wound up.
All of my toiletries are lined up next to Seb’s and I’ve tidied away my last few items. I live here. With Seb. The realisation forces a smile across my face. I fall back onto his bed and snuggle against the covers. I’m going to wake up to him every morning. He’s going to love me and I’m going to do everything I can to make us happy. Happy. Right now, that is the emotion I want to concentrate on. I block out the doubt and focus on the now.
I knew he would be cooking tonight—our first meal moved in. I walk back to my room and pull open the wardrobe to decide what to wear for dinner. Giving up my jeans on a Saturday is one thing, but making Seb happy by dressing up for dinner is easy.
I walk through into the kitchen where Seb is pulling a dish from the oven. He looks up and smiles, nods to the fridge and goes back to his preparations. A pang of disappointment that he didn’t notice the effort I’d made in wearing something sexy for him turns my stomach. I chastise myself for my thought, though—I can’t expect a compliment every time I walk into a room.
A bottle of wine is chilling in the fridge and I take it out and pour our glasses and move over to the dining table.
Seb serves dinner, but he doesn’t seem his usual self. Our rhythm is off and it has butterflies fluttering in my stomach for all the wrong reasons.
I finish the scrumptious lamb noisettes, my appetite more than satisfied. There was little conversation through the meal, only the promise of a conversation and explanation from Seb later on. “Hmm, that was delicious. Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome.”
“Where did you learn to cook? You seem to like it.” My curiosity over this man is never far away.
“My father is a chef. He taught me some basics.”
He’s being very modest, but I’ve secured another piece of information. “In New York?”
“Yes, that’s why they moved out there. He’s the head chef at a restaurant in Manhattan.” He holds out the bottle of sauvignon. “Would you like some more wine?”
“Please.” I hold out my half-full glass and Seb tops me up. He puts the bottle down but stands and walks around the table.
“I can’t tell you how much it pleases me to see you wearing that outfit for me tonight.” His words immediately bring a flush to my cheeks. The disappointment I felt when he didn’t say anything when I came to sit down is alleviated. “I know that we’re both going to have questions, but I want tonight to be about us, and I’ll explain what I’d like to happen.”
“Okay.” My voice is a little hesitant. Seb’s body is tense, and I know that he’s not been fully relaxed through dinner. The tension is swarming in the air between us and is beginning to charge. I sip my wine, disguising my fidgeting body.
“I had you as my submissive at home a few times, and that was restricted to the bedroom. I want to try more than that. I want for us to have a D/s dynamic out of the bedroom as well, starting with twice a week. See how we adjust and take it from there. On those days, I want you to submit to me completely. Wear your anklet if you need it to help get you in the correct frame of mind.
“You’ll wake before me, get up and dress in your own room in the clothes I choose for you. You’ll make coffee and bring it to me in bed. You’ll wake me up with a kiss. It will be on weekdays as well as the weekend, but we’ll discuss it to make sure it works with our schedules.” His deep voice holds me in a trance, as if lulling me into a seductive state. “I’ll want you home, waiting for me when I get in, like before, with a glass of wine and my kiss. Everything else is up to me. You will follow my instructions.”
Oh my god. Seb’s eyes never leave mine through his speech, and his scorching look, dripping with desire, has me panting. Who would have thought being told what to do would get my knickers so wet quite so efficiently?
He comes around the table and places his arms either side of the headrest, caging me. “Oh, and Isabel, you’ll call me Sir.”
“Mmm,” I squeak, turned on by his words and his actions.
“Open your legs for me, Isabel.” I do as he says, although I’m slightly embarrassed. He hasn’t even touched me and I’m drenched. His hand travels up my thigh, raising my skirt higher, and he slips his finger beneath the lacy fabric. “So ready.” The gravel in his voice reverberates through my chest. “Do you like me telling you what to do?”
Yes! You know that. “Yes, Sir.” My whisper solidifies something within me, centring me, and I can feel my physical reaction to the words as well.
“God, I’ve wanted you to call me that for so fucking long.” He thrusts his finger inside me harder, curling it to hit my g-spot, and I moan in response. “You won’t come this time, Isabel. I have something else planned for tonight, to push you.” As his words sink in, I try to hold off the torrent of pleasure that his fingers are causing.
“Please, Sir.”
“Oh, you’ll be begging me later, but right now, this is just my appetizer.” He withdraws his finger and places it in his mouth, sucking all evidence of my arousal away. I nearly come at the sight of him. He smiles at me, his eyes dancing with mirth.
Seb stands and offers his hand to me. I try to accept graciously, allowing him to pull me up. He slowly leads me out into the lounge area, and with each footstep, trepidation runs through my limbs, forcing me to focus on each breath.
“You used to be nervous about this. I don’t want you to be. I will tell you to do this often as it pleases me to no end. I am going to enjoy this and revel in the freedom that I didn’t have before.” I watch him, already guessing what he’s going to tell me to do. “Strip for me, Isabel.”
I can do this. I pull down the zip on my skirt and brush it over my hips. I don’t rush like I used to, I take my time. My fingers move to the buttons on my shirt, slowly revealing myself to him, a flash of skin at a time. I pause when I’m standing in just my underwear. “Go on,” he commands, his eyes drinking me in. I reach back and unclasp my bra, push my knickers off and then begin to roll down my hold ups. “Stop! Leave them on. You look stunning in just thigh highs and heels. This is something else I’ve been waiting for.” I feel the blush cover my cheeks and I dip my head to hide. “Don’t hide from me. You’re beautiful.” I nod my head and feel myself lifted. “We’ll work on your confidence, Isabel, but thank you. Now, kneel down on the rug and spread your legs so I can see your pretty pussy. Good. You’re glistening for me, Isabel. That makes me hard—so fucking hard.” I swear his dirty talk has upped a gear and it’s going to have consequences.
I try to remember if Seb ever spoke to me in quite such a dirty way before, and conclude he must have been holding back. It’s hot and certainly makes me want him even more.
I take a steadyi
ng breath, trying to get comfortable. He hasn’t asked me to lower my head but I have, instinctively. “Stay just like that. You’re beautiful, Isabel. Open to me. Surrender to me. You test my control. God, I want to do so much with you.” His words are lighting me up, and my pussy is aching and needy from his earlier attention. I hear rustling and start to raise my head.
“Don’t!” His harsh command stills me and at the same time heats me further. Please, don’t leave me like this. I know that begging won’t work and that I need to relax and trust in Seb. I want to do what he asks and follow his words, but it can be so hard. I lower my head and focus on the patience I need. I wait. And wait.
My knees grow uncomfortable and my earlier arousal has slipped into nervousness. I can’t see anything, but I know the hands on the clock are laughing at me. I shove the thought aside and close my eyes.
“Well done, Isabel.” His seductive voice purrs in my ear and I’m suddenly right back to feeling needy. “Now, for what I had planned. I’m going to blindfold you and tie your hands. The only thing I want you to do is feel. Understand?”
“Yes, yes, Sir.” Okay, the nerves are back. The cool silk covers my eyes and I relax into the comfort it provides. My little sanctuary. Next, my arms are drawn behind my back, a soft cuff wrapped snugly around each wrist. He pulls me to my feet and guides me to take a few steps forward.
“I want you to lie across me, Isabel. I’ll guide you.” Seb pulls me forward and I end up across his lap on the sofa, my hands still secured behind me. I’m positioned so that my chest and head are supported on a cushion, my legs stretched out behind me. The friction of his trousers against my naked skin makes me feel naughty, like he shouldn’t be doing this, and it only serves to heighten my need.
“Very nice.” His reassurance and praise melt my nerves. Seb starts to caress my skin, running his warm hands over my back and down my legs. It’s almost hypnotic. “I’m going to make you beg tonight, Isabel. I want to hear just how much you need this. Don’t be quiet.”
“No, I won’t be quiet, Sir.”
The Izzy and Seb Collection: The Evermore Series Books 1, 2 and 2.5 Page 34
