“I wouldn’t have minded having my life disrupted,” Sophie whispered. “If it meant knowing my father.”
“I am so sorry. I know there’s no way to make this up to you, but I am so grateful you found me. Do you think—?”
The loudspeaker came on, echoing his name.
“Some clients are here—But do you think we could spend some time together? Will you stay and maybe we could have dinner?”
Sophie stood up. Sean followed, sensing her need to get out of that room as quickly as she could. “I don’t know. I have a lot to process right now.”
“Can I have your number? Something? Where are you living?”
“San Francisco,” she answered. “I teach elementary school.” She scribbled her number on the back of the business card he handed her.
He smiled much as a proud father would. “Thank you. I’d really like to spend time with you.”
He reached out and Sophie walked into his arms, thinking, So this is what it’s like to be hugged by your father. When he released her, she smiled up at him. “It was nice to finally meet you.”
“You too, Sophie. Although it’s not the first time. I was there for a while in the beginning.”
She nodded. “Right. Of course.”
“And I’d like to be there to give you away at your wedding.”
She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll call you,” she said and walked out of the room, the building, into the fresh air where, instead of climbing back into Sean’s truck, she kept walking down the street.
Sean caught up to her and silently followed her along the street that eventually led to a park. That was where Sophie found comfort, among the trees and the flowers and the birds and the butterflies. She found a bench and sat down in the middle of a garden, soaking up the sunlight. Sean sat beside her, still silent. He had his own questions, but they could wait, at least until she told him what she was feeling.
Finally after a few minutes of fresh air and the soothing sounds and scents of nature, she looked over at him. “Thank you for bringing me, Sean.”
“Are you okay?”
“Just in shock.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
“I mean, he’s nice and all. And he feels bad about what happened. I guess I just don’t understand how he could have let his own daughter go like that, not even kept in touch or ever tried to find me.”
“I know. It’s hard to figure.”
“I’m feeling really weird right now. I feel—I don’t even know how to explain it—kind of alienated.”
“From him?”
“From everything, everyone I’ve ever known. From myself really. It’s as if this part of me that’s been missing all these years, suddenly appears and I have to adjust to being whole instead of just a piece of me.”
“I never really thought of it that way. And I’ve found a lot of missing people over the last few years.”
“I go from that to trying to find my way back to the familiar. And when I do that I don’t feel connected to him at all. It’s surreal, as if it’s just another daydream.” She glanced over at Sean. “Do you need to get back or can we stay a little longer?”
“We can stay as long as you want. Do you want to wait to have dinner with him?”
“No, I don’t think I do. I need some time to process all this, but I’m not ready to go home—rather back to Canden Valley. I just feel like walking right now.”
“How about we go for a walk and then on the drive home we can stop at a really nice restaurant for lunch. I know a couple you might like.”
“How nice?” she asked cautiously. “I’m really not up for anything fancy.”
He shook his head. “Not fancy. One is kind of rustic. The other is surrounded by gardens and trees.”
“That one sounds perfect.”
He took her hand and together they walked around the park, finally heading back to the truck. Sean helped her in, closing the door behind her. He knew that however this had panned out, it would be traumatic for her, but it was something she needed to do. He was just glad he was with her when she did it. Unfortunately he knew it wasn’t over. There was more for her to face. They might as well get it over with.
He waited until they were seated in the restaurant garden and the smile was back on her face before asking her the question that had been on his mind from the moment he had met David Culver. “Sophie, what color are your mother’s eyes?”
“Brown. Why?”
“I know determining eye color is not as simple as we used to think it was, but I seriously doubt that someone with brown eyes could be your father.”
“Oh my God. You don’t think he’s really my father, do you?”
He wished he could soften the blow but knew he couldn’t. “Not unless your brown-eyed mother isn’t really your mother.”
Sophie laughed. A small part of her liked that fantasy. But the truth was, she loved her mother. She didn’t always understand her. But she loved her.
Sean smiled and reached across the table to take her hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world. The relief he felt at the sound of her laughter dissolved the tension that had caused him to wonder if he’d be able to take even one bite of the sandwich he’d ordered.
“You knew, didn’t you? Something made you suspect he wasn’t really my father. What was it?”
“Well, for one thing, even though they were married, your mother’s name was the only one on your birth certificate. The other thing was that you were born less than eight months after they were married. Possible but the two together made me suspicious. Especially since they got married so quickly.”
“Definitely red flags. Anything else?”
“He just didn’t seem like your father.”
“No,” Sophie confessed. “As much as I wanted him to be, he didn’t. Do you think he knows but just pretended he was? Following the party—or Barbara Weldon—line?”
Sean shook his head. “I don’t think so. I suspect your mother was pregnant when they met, jumped at the chance to get married. His was the only offer she got.”
Sophie blew out her breath. “It just goes to show, you can’t assume anything. And you sure can’t trust your mother to tell you the truth. At least my mother.” She shook her head, her blond curls bouncing. “This is unbelievable. My mother was married. She convinced a man that she was pregnant with his child. Then she realized she’d made a mistake and did everything she could to get him out of her life.”
Sean cringed, picking up on the bitter tone in her voice. No wonder Barbara Weldon didn’t want Sophie looking for her father. “It kind of looks that way. I’m sorry.”
She exhaled and thanked the server for the chicken and avocado sandwich he placed in front of her. “So, where do we go from here?”
“More research. Can you stick around and keep helping out at the store?” The thought of her leaving was something he was not ready to face. Despite the constant guilt, he could not convince himself to let her leave Canden Valley and return to her other life.
“Of course,” she said. As disappointed as she was that they had hit another dead end, she was relieved that she had an excuse to stay. Another subject she would discuss as soon as she called Arielle. “Are we starting over from scratch?”
“No. Definitely not. We just need to look in a different direction.”
“In other words, we need to look for a blue-eyed man who slept with Barbara Weldon twenty-seven years ago,” Sophie said.
“Right. Piece of cake.”
Chapter 19
After Sean dropped her at the bed and breakfast, Sophie went directly upstairs to take a leisurely soak in the oversized tub. She lit the peach and vanilla candles that were on the side of the tub and slipped into the warm water. She’d even brought a small glass of port with her from the downstairs bar.
She sipped it slowly, allowing the alcohol and the bubbles from the Jacuzzi jets to wrap her in a shield of warmth. This day alone had been overwhelming,
but that’s not where her thoughts were. She was just beginning to realize the impact that a village and a family was having on her in littler more than a week’s time. How was she going to return to San Francisco?
Her cell phone rang and she pressed the off button on the Jacuzzi and the answer button on her phone.
“How did you know I needed to talk to you?”
Arielle laughed. “Just psychic, I guess. What happened? Did you find him?”
“Yes, and then I lost him again. Turns out it’s highly unlikely that he’s my father. But Sean is going to keep looking.”
“How are you feeling?”
“How much are you charging me for this session?”
“A hug and a visit. Tell me everything.”
“Tired. Overwhelmed. Disoriented.”
“All perfectly normal under the circumstances.”
“Good to know. Now let me ask you this, if the man I’m attracted to—who isn’t my fiancé—is definitely attracted to me too, is that perfectly normal? And his name is not Jude Law.” She cringed. “Actually, I’m not sure I’d call it attraction anymore. I kind of think that maybe—well more like definitely—he’s in love with me?”
Arielle whistled under her breath. “I take it we’re talking about Alex’s Cousin Sean?”
“Un hunh.”
“And you know he’s attracted to you—or in love with you—because—?”
“The way he looks at me. He has the most beautiful blue eyes and when he looks at me, there’s so much desire—and love—And he told me that my biggest flaw is—” She sank deeper into the water as if that would hide the heat that she felt flowing through her entire body.
“What?” Arielle asked softly.
“My biggest flaw is being in love. With the wrong man.”
“Whoa. Anything else?”
“Today when I asked him if he wasn’t married yet because he hadn’t found the right woman, he said he had found her. But she was unavailable. And when I looked up at him, I could have sworn his eyes were burning a hole right through me. And—”
Arielle made a whistling sound under her breath again. It was not at all comforting. “There’s more?”
“Yeah, there is. Ari, he named an ice cream soda for me. ‘Sophie’s Soda’—chocolate with chocolate chip ice cream.”
More whistling under her breath. “Whoa, that’s big.”
“Still normal?”
“Well considering what an amazing person you are, I can see lots of guys falling for you, but this one . could be a little awkward.”
“That’s not all. I think Alex still has feelings for his ex-girlfriend. I think that’s why he didn’t want to teach me to ride a horse. It reminds him of when he taught her to ride when they were kids. I mean, he loves me, I know he does, it’s just— I don’t know what to do, Arielle. It’s as if my world has been turned upside down and inside out.”
“Kind of sounds that way.”
“So, what do I do?”
“You start by telling the truth.”
“To?”
“You for one. Me for another. Alex. Sean. But start with you, honey.”
“I’ve kind of ridden the emotional roller coaster today. I’m not sure I’m up to delving into any more feelings and analyzing my thoughts right now.”
“Probably not the best day for it. But I strongly suggest you spend some time alone, really looking at your feelings for these two men. You have a decision to make, Soph. A big one.”
She took another sip of the port that was beginning to grow on her. “I guess I do.”
“And if you need to, you know you can always call your favorite therapist.”
“I wish you were here.”
“Me too. Maybe soon. You can come here or I can come to—wherever— to see you.”
Sophie hung up the cell and settled back into the soothing bubble bath. Two more sips of port and she was relaxed again. For a brief moment, how she felt and what she thought no longer mattered. If only it were always that simple. Just have four sips of port and all your worries evaporate.
Her cell rang again and although she was glad not to have missed Arielle’s call, she was beginning to wonder what she was thinking bringing it into the bathroom with her.
She answered without reading the name.
“Hi, are you speaking to me?”
“Of course, I am.”
“Are you okay?” That question was beginning to grate on her.
“Of course, I am,” she repeated, this time aware of the coldness in her voice. Why did she dislike that question so much? Because it implied that she was weak? Or was it because she knew Alex didn’t want to hear the real answer?
“I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to upset you. I really do hope you find your father.”
“Thanks, Alex.”
“How’s it going? Any luck so far?”
She told him what she and Sean had discovered.
“Well, at least you’re making progress.”
She wasn’t sure they were, but he did sound more supportive of the process.
“How is it going up there? Did you straighten out Mr. Jensen?”
“Mr. Jensen? Oh! Yeah. I took care of it.”
“Good.”
“It’s a good thing I came home when I did. I’m sorry I had to leave. I miss you, Sophie.”
“Thank you.” It was all she could think to say.
“It won’t be much longer though. I figured I’d drive down to pick you up on Saturday, spend the night, and we can drive home on Sunday.”
“This weekend?” She pushed the bubbles aside with one hand, really wishing she had not brought her phone into the bath with her.
“It’ll have been two weeks, Sophie.”
“I know, but—”
“But what?”
“I’m not ready to leave. I want to stay . a while . longer.” Forever.
“I really wish you’d come home, Sophie.” If there was any hope for their relationship, he needed to start repairing the damage that this trip had done—to both of them.
“I can’t. Not yet. I need to stay. I need to do this.”
“Why?”
“For one, we’re closer to finding my father.”
He started to sigh but caught himself. “I understand that. But does that mean you have to be there?”
“It’s better if I am.”
“What’s the other reason?”
“It’s just good for me, being here—away from the city.”
“If you feel that strongly about it, I guess I understand.”
“Do you?”
“I’m trying. How long do you think? Another week?”
“I—I don’t know. I need to stay and help Sean—At least a couple more weeks. Maybe more.”
The pause was painful but she stopped herself from filling the empty space. She channeled Arielle and waited for his reaction.
It came slowly and quietly. “I see.”
That was it? What did he see? He was making this awfully easy. Or was he? Something had shifted. There was suddenly an emptiness in his voice, as if he had withdrawn. It was almost as if he no longer cared that she wasn’t coming home this weekend, as if at some point during this conversation he had given up. On her.
After hanging up the cell phone, she set it down, turned the Jacuzzi jets back on, took one more sip of her port and leaned back and closed her eyes. A mixture of calmness and relief had come over her. She had bought herself some extra time here—as long as Ivy and Nigel were okay with her staying at the B and B.
This time when her cell phone rang, she grabbed it and threw it across the room. She hadn’t meant to throw it so hard. She’d only wanted to stop herself from answering it. Unfortunately it had bounced off the wall and landed on the sink. Oops.
Oh well, at least she hadn’t given in and answered it. She stayed in the bath for several minutes more, ignoring the sound of her ringing cell phone that told her someone was frantically trying to reach her. Alex
again, she figured. He’d had a change of heart and was going to pressure her into coming home sooner than she wanted to. That was a conversation she was not willing to have in the midst of her attempt at serenity.
Finally she climbed out of the tub and wrapped herself in a towel. She stood in front of the fireplace in her bedroom, drying her hair. She wasn’t fond of the damage hair driers did to hair. She tended to let it dry naturally, at least when she had the luxury of time. But she couldn’t resist turning on the gas fireplace and indulging her hair in a semi-natural option.
When she heard the downstairs door close, she stood upright, letting her hair go. She tiptoed to her bedroom door, opened it and peered downstairs. Not having a clear view of the entryway, she tiptoed into the hallway and peered over the banister.
“We really have to stop meeting like this.”
“Sean! Oh my God! You have to stop scaring me like that!”
“And you have to stop walking around in a towel,” he said, taking three stairs at a time toward her.
“Uh, you’re right. I do.” She was backing slowly towards her room.
“You weren’t embarrassed the last time I caught you in a towel,” he said, unabashedly scanning her body with his eyes. “What’s changed?”
“And you were embarrassed,” she threw back at him. “What’s changed?”
He laughed. A lot had changed. “I guess I’m getting used to it,” he said, his voice husky. “And your excuse?”
“I guess I’m getting shy.” What was she going to say? That she was well aware that he wanted her, that she felt as if he was going to devour her when he looked at her with those deep blue eyes? That she wanted to know what it would feel like for him to touch her? That she was craving the feel of his hands caressing her near-naked body?
What was she thinking? She was engaged, and no matter how she spun it, there was no way these thoughts were okay. Not as long as she had another man’s engagement ring on her finger, another man who just happened to be his cousin and who happened to be devoted to her. At least he had been until their conversation a few minutes ago.
Summer Day Dreams Page 21
