by Jamie Zakian
Sasha pulled back, wrapping her fingers around Vinny’s neck. “Harder,” she said, squeezing.
***
Sasha walked out the door. The belt of her leather jacket clinked, and her boxer shorts rustled as she sat on the top step. A cool breeze gusted from high up the mountain, bringing shivers that ran along her spine. After lighting a cigarette, she pulled her bare legs inside the coat’s flaps.
The emblem sown onto the back of her father’s club jacket rubbed her skin. She couldn’t see the crest that soothed her mind, but she knew it well. Her childhood was spent staring at the backs of club members who wore the same skins, each with the emblem of a Mack truck bursting through cherry-red flames. It was the symbol of Ashby Trucking, and it was ingrained in Sasha’s mind.
Smoke rolled up in puffs as she watched people stumble to their cars. She tapped her cigarette, ashes sprinkling her toes, when Candy walked from the clubhouse under Otis’s arm. Her door squeaked open behind her, and Vinny crouched down.
“What ya’ doing?” he asked, following her stare to Otis’s truck. Candy slid across the bench seat, her head dropping below the steering wheel and into Otis’s lap. “Oh, shit. Sorry, Sasha.”
She flicked her cigarette down the stairs and rose to her feet. Vinny stood up, reaching for her waist, and she slinked past him.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Sasha said, walking inside her room.
Vinny’s voice flowed until Sasha shut her door on his babble. Her insides twisted, the ache a well-deserved punishment. Vinny got too close and Candy too far, all because of her need to please the club. She flung off her jacket and walked into the bathroom, turning on the shower. The rush of water silenced her jagged thoughts. She climbed inside, catching her reflection in the mirror. A dash of sorrow, a hint of regret, and a pinch of shame, the recipe of her glare. The shower curtain crimpled under her grip, and she yanked it closed.
Once the water ran down her face, tears felt free to flow. There was something about the warmth, the way the droplets pelted her skin, that brought her pain to the surface. She stood there, under the downpour, hiding her tears under the water’s gentle stream.
***
Vinny
Vinny strolled across the lot, twirling his keys on his finger. A zippo’s click pulled his stare to the clubhouse. When spotting Ellen on the porch, he veered in her direction.
“Did you tell her?” Ellen asked, puffing on a hand-rolled cigarette.
“I tried to, but she shut the door in my face.”
“You were up there for over two hours.”
“Yeah?” Vinny rubbed the back of his neck, glancing away to hide his smirk.
“That’s fucked.” Ellen tossed her cigarette at his feet. “Sasha’s gonna be totally blindsided at tomorrow’s meeting.”
“I know. I’m sorry, Ellen.” Vinny glanced up at Sasha’s door. He’d run up there and deliver the bad news, but it would ruin everything they just did. Then he’d never be able to do all those amazingly dirty things to her again. “Can’t you just tell Sasha in the morning?”
Ellen walked down the porch steps, pulling him from the commotion of a slowly dying party. “As her mother, I’d like to warn her, but as club president, it’s…inappropriate.” She paused as a group of men staggered to their trucks. “That’s why I was counting on you. Just, whatever. Go home.”
Vinny shoved his hands into his pockets, turning away.
Chapter Four
Sasha
A high-pitched ring pulled Sasha from a deep sleep. She slipped her head under the pillow, only dulling the phone’s blare. When the noise finally stopped and a heavy silence returned, she closed her eyes. It was no use. She’d already glimpsed the light of a new day. Her brain wasn’t shutting off now.
The phone screamed once again, and Sasha slapped the nightstand. She grabbed a lighter, a handful of cigarette butts, and an empty beer bottle before finding the phone. The ring stopped once she lifted the receiver. She considered hanging up, but the idiot in her pulled the receiver under the pillow.
“Hello,” she grumbled.
“Hey. Did I wake you?”
Candy’s silky voice sent a flutter from Sasha’s chest to her gut and right into the deepest parts of her soul. “No. I was up.” She moved the pillow aside, clutching onto the phone’s wide mouthpiece. “Crazy party last night, huh?”
“Are you dating Vinny?”
“What?” Sasha sat up, the phone’s cord yanking its base from the nightstand.
“Ellen was telling everyone you two are a thing.”
“Is that why you gave Otis a blowjob in the parking lot?”
“You saw that?” Candy asked softly.
“A lot of people saw that.”
There was a long pause. Sasha could see Candy’s cute frown and the girl’s remorseful eyes clearly inside her mind. If they were face to face, she would wither against Candy’s smooth skin. Hell, she almost crumbled through the phone.
“Sasha—”
A clicking noise cut off Candy’s words, and Sasha groped for the phone’s base.
“Hold on a sec.” Sasha clicked a skinny red button, flashing over to the other line. “Yeah.”
“Oh, hey. It’s Vinny.”
“So formal. Use the phone much?”
“I…umm…”
“What’d you want?” Sasha asked, almost hanging up before she even got an answer.
“I really need to talk to you before the meeting.”
Sasha moved a wall of beer bottles away from the clock on her nightstand. “We got an hour. Just come over now.”
“No, I can’t. I—”
Sasha groaned. Vinny could babble for hours and never about anything major, which was why she clicked back over to Candy. “You still there?”
“Of course,” Candy said in a throaty whisper. “I always wait for you.”
For just a second, a fleeting thought crossed Sasha’s mind. She could jump in her truck, pick up Candy, and drive to San Francisco. They could open a flower shop or maybe sell makeup. It was a nice thought to have, for just that second.
“You busy tonight?”
“No,” Candy said, almost before Sasha could finish the question.
“I’m gonna come pick you up later, like nine or ten.”
“Should I wear something pretty?”
“Nah.” Sasha tried to sound cool, but the frown stuck on her lips warped her words into ones filled with gloom. “I just wanna talk. You know.”
“Oh. Yeah, I ah…see you then.”
With a click, the line went dead. Sasha gathered up the phone and returned it to her nightstand, rising from the bed.
***
Light spilled into Sasha’s room as she opened her door, forcing her back a few steps. The cigarette stuck to her chapped lips decided to waft its smoke right into her eyes, making the whole sunshine situation much worse. She pushed a pair of shades up the bridge of her nose, thumping down the narrow stairs.
“Caffeine,” Sasha muttered, her feet dragging across gravel. She climbed the porch steps, and Kev blocked the clubhouse door.
“It’s almost noon,” Kev said, crossing his arms to bar her from squeezing by him. “Are you just getting up?”
A mix of a grunt and a grumble erupted from Sasha’s lips, coaxing Kev aside. Her eyes locked onto a steaming pot of coffee. The scent of liquid energy filled her lungs, and she hurried toward the aroma, nearly tripping when a tall blonde chick stepped in front of her.
“Hey, Sasha!”
“Hey, umm…”
“Robin!”
“Right.” Sasha moved to the side, but the chick followed like a shadow.
“Are you busy right now?” Robin asked. “I was gonna step outside for a smoke.”
Sasha glanced around the now-trashed clubhouse. The usual batch of women decorated the bar while most of the crew crowded into the backroom. Thankfully, none of them had noticed her.
“Sure. Just,” Sasha pointed around Robin to the sil
ver urn on the bar, “coffee.”
“Oh! I’ll get that for you.” Robin turned, glass clinking. “No cream, five sugars. Right?” She peeked over her shoulder, a sly smile on her red lips.
“Yeah, that’s right.”
Robin handed Sasha a mug and headed for the porch. “Come on.”
While sipping her coffee, Sasha enjoyed the sway of Robin’s ass in tight leather pants. She strolled to the porch, sitting on the bench. In every attempt to be casual, she eyed the woman beside her. Feathered hair straight from a bottle, bright eyeshadow in hues of blue and green. A regular bleached Barbie.
“Are you going with Vinny?” Robin asked, cringing as if expecting a slap for an answer.
A chuckle burst from Sasha’s lips. That seemed to be the question of the day. “No.” Except that wasn’t the game they were playing. “I don’t know. Maybe.” She lit a cigarette, passing it to Robin before popping one in her own mouth. “Why, you into him?”
“No,” Robin said, a little too fast. “He’s not extremely sexy at all.” She batted her eyes, which wavered in fear. “Please don’t beat me up.”
“Why would I beat you up?” Sasha asked, taking another sip of her coffee.
“I didn’t know about you two, and I was laying it on kinda thick last night before you got here. I might have touched his—”
“Whoa! I don’t need to know all that. Vinny is free to do whatever he wants with whoever he likes.”
“I get that.” Robin scooted closer, leaning in and bringing the scent of Halston with her. “You have to be a different type of gal around these men, hard. Even if it really doesn’t bother you, I’ll still keep my hands off. Until you’re done with him, anyway.”
“Thanks,” Sasha said through a grin. “I appreciate it.”
“You’re not scary at all. We should hang out some time.”
Sasha flicked her cigarette across the lot, holding back a snicker. “I guess we could chill, do chick shit. You like shooting guns?”
A giggle skirted from Robin’s lips, but it didn’t hold a candle to the ones in Candy’s arsenal. “I never shot a gun, but I’d like to learn.”
“Okay. Maybe after the meeting we—”
“Sasha.” Vinny gripped Sasha’s shoulder, and she flinched, spilling a drop of coffee on her pants.
“Goddammit, Vinny.”
Sasha handed the mug to Robin, jumping to her feet.
“I gotta talk to you,” Vinny said, tugging on her arm.
Sasha pulled away, brushing at the stain. “You’re lucky these pants are brown, asshole.”
The thump of boots rattled the porch. A chill traveled up Sasha’s spine, locking her in place. She could only stand there and stare at the brick shithouse of a man who’d walked into the clubhouse, at the last face she saw before passing out after the lesson her mother had the club teach her when she was fourteen. Desmond Archer. Sasha crept forward, watching his long hair tap the holler’s emblem of his leather jacket.
“Your brother’s out of jail,” she muttered, glancing at Vinny.
“I’ve been trying to tell you since last night.”
“Fuck. Dez?” Sasha slumped against the doorway, watching Dez walk into the backroom. “He’s gonna want the sergeant at arms spot.”
“I know,” Vinny said softly.
“He’ll probably get it too. He has seniority over me.”
“I know,” Vinny muttered, his eyes low.
“Fuck, Vinny!” Sasha stormed inside, making a beeline for the backroom. Her mother released Dez from a tight embrace as she walked through the door.
“Sasha, look who’s out,” Chewy said.
Dez turned, stopping to stare at Sasha. His eyes scanned every inch of her body. She could almost feel the intensity of his glare, like the thickness after a lightning storm.
“Sasha? Damn, you’ve grown.” Dez stepped closer, tugging at the flap of her jacket. “You’re wearing a skin.” He looked at Ellen. “She’s at the table now?”
“Her and your little brother made prospect about three years ago. Wow, you really have been gone a while, huh?”
“Almost six years,” Dez said, shooting Sasha a harsh glare. “Where’s Ron?”
“Oh shit.” Ellen grabbed a beer from the small fridge behind her, handing it to Dez. “We lost Ronny, Jay, and Mad Dog last month.”
“What?” Dez grabbed the beer, downing half the bottle in one gulp.
“Satan’s Crew tore through town, things got ugly. Here,” Ellen gestured to the long glossy table, “take a load off.”
Dez moved toward his old chair, and Kev grabbed his hand.
“Sorry, brother,” Kev said, looking down. “I was voted master of mayhem after you left.”
“Shit, Ellen. I lost my position.”
Vinny and Otis walked into the room, shutting the door behind them, and Sasha dropped into her seat before she ended up in a corner.
“Here it comes,” she mumbled beneath her breath as Vinny sat in his seat beside her.
“Sorry, Dez,” Ellen said, taking her spot at the head of the table. “But someone had to put the parties together.”
“Nah, it’s cool.” Dez settled into the chair at the end of the table, casting Sasha a quick leer. “People, parties, it wasn’t really my thing anyway.”
Once everyone took their seats, Ellen lit a joint and passed it to Chewy. “Not much has changed,” she said, looking at Dez. “Chewy is still V.P. Otis is road captain. We have the sergeant at arms and two runner spots open. Yesterday our vote was…interrupted, so you’ve got perfect timing.”
Dez rubbed the stubble on his chin, eyeing the empty seat at Ellen’s left. “Sergeant, huh!”
The room fell under a blanket of silence, all eyes shifting to Sasha.
“Am I missing something?” Dez asked, glancing around the table.
“You missed a lot,” Sasha said, leaning back in her chair.
“Sasha’s been gunning for that spot,” Ellen said, biting back a smirk.
“Oh yeah?” Dez turned to face Sasha, and his grin dropped once he glimpsed her narrowed eyes.
“Sasha really stepped up when we needed it,” Chewy said.
“She found the biker fags’ warehouse and firebombed it,” Kev added, shooting Sasha a grin. “And yesterday—”
“A little girl, protecting the club.” Dez snorted, shaking his head. “You all trust her with your lives?”
“Let’s start with something easier,” Ellen said. “I nominate Vinny as runner.”
Chewy nodded. “I second that.”
“All in favor,” Ellen said.
Sasha slouched in her chair as the patched members voted. Her eyes drifted over, into Dez’s glare. It looked like he wanted to fuck her and fight her at the same time. Creepy, yet a tingle slithered beneath her skin, lifting the hairs on her arms. She turned to Vinny, who took a thin patch marked ‘Runner’ from her mother’s hand.
“I nominate Dez as sergeant at arms,” Otis said, his stare fixed on his lap. “Sorry, Sasha.”
Sasha looked at the faces around the table. They all avoided her glare except for her mother, who was brimming with satisfaction.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to vote on this yet,” Chewy said, stroking his long, gray beard.
“All right. Tell you what.” Ellen fished two sets of keys from her pocket. “We got two runs today. Kev, you take Dez. Get him caught up.” She passed the key with a red tab to Kev and slid the other set to Sasha. “And you can show Vinny the ropes.”
Ellen rose from her seat, peering around the table. “We’ll reconvene the vote later.”
Sasha grabbed the key from the table. The key’s metal ridges pressed into her palm as she squeezed her hand into a fist. Once the room cleared with only her mother remaining, she rose from her chair. Their eyes connected. Her mother lifted her chin and crossed her arms. Sasha lowered her glare. Every member of the club knew Charles Ashby, the true but now deceased president of Ashby Trucking, wanted Sasha in tha
t sergeant’s seat. They also knew an argument with the new president would only end well for the new president.
Much like a punk would do, Sasha kept her gaze on the faded wood floor and walked out of the room.
Chapter Five
Ten minutes. They got ten minutes down the interstate before Vinny started tapping the steering wheel. Sasha kept her gaze out the passenger window. Colors melded as trees whizzed by. The whistle of the diesel engine warmed the ice in her veins, until…
“So…”
Vinny’s voice cut into Sasha’s one second of peace, and she exhaled loudly, but that didn’t stop him from blabbering on.
“You let me do some really dirty things to you last night.”
Her hand flew to her forehead, as if trying to create a barrier between them. It wasn’t working.
“Things I’ve never done with anyone else before,” he continued.
Sasha turned to face Vinny, catching a hint of puppy love behind his electric blue eyes. “You can file all those things away in your spank-bank, ‘cause it’s never happening again.”
“C’mon. I know you had a good time.”
Vinny’s hand landed on Sasha’s thigh, and she shoved it away. “Don’t fuckin’ touch me.”
“Damn.” Vinny lit a cigarette, hurling glares between puffs. “If you don’t want to be with me, why’d you fuck me?”
Sasha shrunk into her worn cloth seat, as far away as possible. “I was lonely. I wanted hands on me. It didn’t matter whose they were.”
“Ouch.” Vinny flicked his ashes out the window, staring at the road ahead.
Hurt spanned his face, and a weight tugged on Sasha’s heart. The urge to comfort him drew her hand out. A pothole rocked the cab, and she pulled back.
“Gimme your skin,” she said, reaching into the back compartment.
“Why?”
Sasha held up a mini sewing kit. “I’m gonna sew your patch on.”
