by John Lenahan
‘Where am I?’
‘You’re in one of Fand’s healing rooms.’
‘How did I get here?’
Dad pulled up a chair. ‘That’s an interesting story. Three days ago, the sergeant at arms was shocked to find a seven-year-old blind girl screaming at the Great Gates of Duir. She told him that you were in trouble and he sent a detail out to investigate. They found you curled up on the ground at the edge of the oak perimeter. Ruby says you went out there to talk to a tree – but you’re not that stupid – are you?’
‘Well,’ I said, ‘Ruby wanted to talk to a tree. I, of course, would have liked to have introduced her to Mother Oak but she was too far away …’
‘So you just went out and wrapped your arms around any old oak?’ Dad was almost shouting. ‘What is wrong with you?’
‘What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with that tree? It was like it grew roots into my head.’
‘Didn’t anybody ever tell you about the Oaks of Duir?’
‘No. No one did and whose fault is that – do you think?’
That stopped Dad’s anger, ‘Oh, well, I guess I should have told you.’
‘You think?’
‘Yeah, sorry. ’
‘So what did that tree do to me?’
‘Oaks are dangerous trees, son. If you even brush past one it can snare you. We seem to have no defence against them. They can access our memories and then manipulate our emotions. That’s one of the things that makes Mother Oak so wonderful. She searches out the best in people and reminds you that you are a good person but not all oaks are so affirmative. In fact, almost none are. For the most part, oaks are nasty pieces of wood. I liked to think of them as the junkyard dogs of Castle Duir.’
‘Gosh, and I thought yews were the dangerous ones.’
‘Yews can snare you without touching them but yews aren’t nasty. Yews are the judges of The Land – oaks are the criminals.’
‘But yews can kill you, right?’ I asked.
‘True,’ said Dad, ‘but oaks can drive you mad. Speaking of which – are you OK?’
‘I think so, the worst part was …’
‘You don’t have to tell me. I assure you that whatever the oak stirred up in your mind is nowhere near as bad as he made it seem.’
‘Yeah, it was awful, all of the stuff that filled my head but the oak was right about one thing. I did let Fergal down.’
‘We all dropped the ball on that one, son. We should have seen it coming but never forget – the one who stuck the sword in Fergal was Cialtie.’
Fand entered and told us that there was a host of people wanting to visit with me. Dad picked up a vial from the bedside table.
‘Your mother told me to give you this as soon as you awoke and seemed OK.’
‘I’m fine Dad, I don’t need any medicine.’
‘So you want me to go back to your mother and say that you are defying her?’
I looked at him and frowned. ‘You wouldn’t do that – would you?’
‘Hey, this is your mother we’re talking about. You’re on your own here, pal.’
I took the vial of liquid. ‘OK, I’ll take it,’ I said, ‘but I would really like to …’ That’s the thing about medicines in Tir na Nog – you don’t have to wonder if they are working. There was no possible way I could have even finished that sentence and whatever I thought I wanted to do was instantly of no concern to me. I was back down in my well but this time it was only about six inches deep and lined with satin. Dad said I passed out with a huge smile on my face.
I woke to a question. ‘Are you nuts?’
‘No, I’m OK; the oak tree didn’t drive me mad,’ I said before I opened my eyes.
‘Oh, that’s a huge relief,’ the voice said with an uncaring tone that I didn’t like. I opened my eyes to see a very angry Brendan looming over me. I instantly sat up and backed into the headboard – he looked like he was going to hit me. ‘What were you thinking?’
‘I … I …’
‘Nora and I didn’t know where Ruby was and then you plop her on a horse and take her out to the most dangerous forest in The Land – where you abandon her – on a horse.’
Second most dangerous forest, and it was a pony, I said – to myself, because I knew if I said that to Brendan, there would have been some police brutality.
‘You’re right, I’m sorry,’ I said, ‘I wasn’t thinking.’
‘You’re damn right you weren’t thinking. She could have been killed, or driven insane. What possessed you to do it?’
‘Ruby showed up in my room and said that you promised her a pony but were being slow about it.’
‘So you just went and got her a pony?’
‘Well,’ I shrugged, ‘she’s kinda hard to say no to.’
Brendan relaxed and sat down. ‘Yeah, I can’t argue with that, but you’ve got to remember that even though she acts like she’s forty-two she’s only twelve.’
‘I know, and I’m really sorry. I promise it won’t happen again and I won’t take her anywhere without you knowing about it.’
He patted me on the head like I was a schoolboy. ‘You are forgiven, Mr O’Neil. So,’ he said, changing the subject, ‘how are you?’
‘I’m fine. Dad said I was out of it for three days.’
‘The oak roughed you up a bit, eh?’
‘The specifics of what happened are fading now. All I remember is that he made me remember every bad thing I had ever done and I couldn’t stop it. It was horrible.’
‘As bad as being arrested for your dad’s murder?’
‘I don’t want to bruise your ego, Detective Fallon, but compared to the oak – you’re a pushover.’
A commotion outside the door made us both turn. A woman was screaming and guards were shouting.
‘O gods,’ Brendan said, ‘I might be a pushover but my mother is not. If she gets in here she’s going to tear your head off.’
The door opened and a very fierce looking Nora stomped towards me in a way that reminded me of an attacking Banshee. I looked to my left and saw there was a vial of that medicine on my bedside table. I grabbed it and downed it in one. Nora started screaming. I heard it but really didn’t care as I snuggled blissfully down into the satin bed of my unconsciousness.
When you take one of Mom/Fand’s potions you really do go out. No dreams, no visions, no nothing. I had no idea how long I had been asleep. It could have been days or minutes. When I woke up I opened one eye and had a look around. Sitting at my bedside, reading a book, was Essa.
She was back to her beautiful young-looking self. I just watched as she brushed a wisp of hair away from her forehead with a gesture that I knew oh so well.
‘Hey, old lady,’ I said and then braced myself. Essa had been plenty mad at me for so much of the time that I knew her that I was never sure if our meeting was going to be pleasant or not. But then she smiled and my body relaxed and my heart pounded.
‘Hi, I … was worried about you.’
I looked around the room to see if anybody else was there. ‘You talkin’ to me?’
She laughed. ‘Yes I am. Are you OK?’
I sat up. ‘I am now.’ There was an awkward silence where we just stared at each, other until I broke it with, ‘You look good without the wrinkles and the grey hair.’
‘Why, thank you,’ she said with a nod of her head.
‘What’s it like drinking Tuan’s blood?’
‘Gross but kind of – wonderful. I haven’t felt this good in years. I have tons of energy.’
‘Maybe I should order a green dragon cocktail for myself?’
‘Maybe we should get my father to whip up some Tuan blood wine?’
We both laughed. It was nice – normal. Could it be that I was forgiven? I wondered. Could Essa and I ever be – normal?
The question was cut short by the sound of bare feet slapping against the stone floor. I was smothered in kisses even before I could see whose lips were administering them. Not that I had to look,
there’s only one mermaid in all of The Land that greets me like that.
‘Oh Conor,’ kiss, kiss, ‘I have been so worried about you,’ kiss, kiss, kiss.
‘Hi Graysea,’ I garbled between smooches, ‘have you met Essa?’
The introduction had the desired effect of getting Graysea to let up on my face.
‘I remember Essa,’ Graysea said in a tone I had never heard from her before. ‘The first time I saw her she hit you in the head with a stick.’
I expected Essa to storm off, hopefully without hitting me in the head, but instead she stood her ground. ‘What are you still doing here?’
Oh my, I thought to myself, this has the potential to turn into a serious cat fight – or a cat and fish fight and they usually don’t turn out very well for the fish. I know it was cowardly of me – I reached for the bedside table but, damn it, there wasn’t any of that knock-out medicine there.
‘Where else should I be but by my beloved Conor’s side?’
To be perfectly honest I wasn’t the only reason she was still here – Graysea had nowhere else to go. When the Mertain King found out that she had stolen his dragon’s blood to give to me, he banished her.
Essa was close to snarling when she said, ‘I can think of several places I would rather you to be.’
‘Essa,’ I said as gingerly as I could, ‘Graysea helped me escape from a very difficult situation.’
‘Oh, did she?’ the Princess said. ‘And what other situations did she help you in or out of?’
‘I don’t understand you,’ my mermaid said with her usual tilt of the head. ‘Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be mourning the loss of your fiancé?’
I instantly popped up on my knees on the mattress between them. Essa had stepped back in what I recognised as a preparation to spring. I really didn’t want to be in the middle of this and suspected that any second I was going to get the worst of it.
‘Everyone out,’ came a command from the doorway. Dad was standing there in his drill suit. He wore that kingly face that made the two women snap to attention and then quickly leave. Neither said goodbye to me as they never really took their eyes off each other for the entire exit.
‘Thank you,’ I said when the Princess and the mermaid were out of earshot.
‘Don’t thank me too soon,’ Dad said, throwing me the clothes that he had been carrying. ‘Your mother and Fand have given you a clean bill of health, so come with me – it’s time for some training.’
‘Training for what?’
‘We’re going to launch an assault on the Oracle of Mount Cas.’
I thought about the prospect of going into battle again and then thought about the skirmish that Dad had just saved me from. War didn’t seem that bad at all.
Chapter Five
Graysea and Essa
Iwas back in Dahy’s boot camp. This time it was worse than the first time. The first time I knew I didn’t know anything. This time I thought I knew everything and Dahy proved to me that I once again knew nothing. We were learning a new technique. The master didn’t have a name for it so I called it ninja school – ’cause that’s what it felt like. None of us were allowed to execute any of our showy spins or flip manoeuvres. Every movement had to be minimal. All over the armoury, where we practised, were wooden dowels balanced upright with feathers perched on top. Every time one of us disturbed a feather, or worse, knocked over a dowel, Dahy would shoot us in the legs with a crossbow bolt that had a woollen ball stuck on the end. If you think that doesn’t sound like it would hurt – then think again.
Araf was really good at it. It wasn’t until I saw him in a room full of feathers did I realise just how economical a fighting style he had. Except for his figure of eight propeller-like stick move, Araf hardly had to change his technique at all. Essa was lucky she didn’t have to learn this stuff. Without all of her flipping and twirling she would have been very unhappy. And when Essa is unhappy – everyone is unhappy.
Gerard, Essa’s father, forbade her to go into the Oracle’s house. She wasn’t about to let her father boss her around like that but when Gerard threatened to withdraw all of Castle Duir’s wine shipments – Oisin took Essa off active duty. She was furious and Dad had to remind her that he was, like, a king. She stormed off kicking anything, and anyone, in her path. In short, Essa was to be avoided, but I was doing that already.
Even though our practice was deadly serious it was also fun. Dad joined us and so did Mom and Aunt Nieve. The ladies had a hard time casting spells without all of that dramatic wicked-witch arm waving. Dad, who already had, like, a hundred years’ worth of Dahy tutelage, just seemed to do whatever the master told him to do without any effort at all. One time I pushed Dad over, just to see if Dahy would shoot the king with his crossbow. He didn’t, he shot me.
Brendan trained with us but he wasn’t going either. He wanted to come, just like he wanted to ask the yew trees if he could use Spideog’s bow, but he had a responsibility to his daughter Ruby not to put himself in harm’s way.
‘And actually,’ he confided to me one day at lunch, ‘I’m in no hurry to see that Oracle guy again. If I recall he kicked our butts good with just a flick of the wrist.’
I pointed that out to Dahy but he said he had a plan. So by day we continued to practise our non-feather-disturbing fighting techniques and by night I rubbed healing salve into the black and blue bruises on my legs that Dahy gave me with his crossbow.
The banging on my bedroom door would have busted any Real World door off its hinges but Duir doors are made of hardy stuff.
‘Conor,’ the voice on the other side bellowed, ‘I want to talk to you.’ I knew who it was right away – everyone in the castle was talking about it. New wine is news around here but when it’s delivered by the master winemaker himself – that’s big news.
I opened the door and there stood the largest of all of the larger-than-life characters in Tir na Nog. Gerard stepped into the doorway, blocking out all of the light beyond. In his hand he held a metal bucket with a piece of cloth over the top – it didn’t look like a weapon but I kept my eye on it.
He strode further into the room, forcing me to back up, and said, ‘If I didn’t know better I would think that you have been hiding from me.’
‘I … maybe I have been,’ I confessed.
‘Why would you do that?’
‘I guess you haven’t spoken to Essa yet?’
Gerard frowned and placed his bucket on the floor. ‘Oh, I have spoken to my daughter all right. She is mighty mad at you and this – what did she call her – “fishy floozy” of yours.’
‘That’s why I’ve been avoiding you,’ I said.
‘Let me get this straight, you think that because my daughter is angry with you, that I will be too.’
‘Aren’t you?’
He came at me with his arms outstretched. I had a brief flashback of the bear attack in the Pookalands. He wrapped his arms around me and gave me one of his laughing hugs that lifted me off the ground. ‘Oh my boy,’ he said, and I relaxed even though my ribs were threatening to crack. ‘If Essa is mad at you, then you already have more enemies than any one man can stand.’ He let go of me and I tested my diaphragm to see if I could still breathe. ‘Good gods and monsters, if I had to be angry at everyone that my little darling was irritated with – I would not have any friends or customers at all.’
‘So you’re not here to give me the “don’t you dare hurt my daughter” speech?’
Gerard laughed, picked up his bucket and moved over to the table on the other side of the room. ‘Oh, I don’t give that speech. I usually just try to discourage Essa’s beaus for their own safety.’
We laughed at that as he whipped the cloth off his bucket like a TV magician. ‘I’ve brought you a gift.’ Buried deep in snow, with only their necks sticking out, were four bottles. I grabbed one, releasing it from its icy bed.
‘Beer!’ I shouted.
‘I remembered that last time you were in Castle Muhn you said
you wanted beer that is “lighter, fizzier and colder” – well, try this.’ He reached over and placed his hand on the neck of the bottle and mumbled. The cork began to spin and then rise until it shot out of the bottle with a satisfying pop.
I took a quick gulp to catch the foam from overflowing onto the floor. Gerard scrutinised my face for any hint of criticism. ‘Well?’ he asked as I wiped my mouth with my sleeve.
‘I think you should give up on this wine stuff and become a full-time brewer.’
Gerard beamed like a child who had just received a stick-on star on his homework.
‘Did I hear someone shouting beer?’ It was Brendan at the door.
‘Brendan,’ I said. ‘Come in and meet Essa’s father, Lord Gerard of Muhn.’
‘Oh,’ Brendan said, a bit surprised while improvising a bow. ‘How do you do? I’m a big fan of your wine.’
‘Well, come in and try my beer,’ Gerard said without standing.
Brendan hesitated and said, ‘Actually I was just passing with my mother.’ Brendan reached into the hallway and took his mother’s hand and guided her into the room. ‘Lord Gerard, may I introduce Nora Fallon.’
I hadn’t seen Brendan’s mother since she arrived in the Hall of Spells. She was dressed in a green felt-ish tunic with gold embroidery and leather trousers – pretty much what everyone around here wears and it suited her to a T.
Gerard jumped to his feet, and bowed. ‘Of course I have heard about both of you. Welcome home, Druids. Please join us in a drink.’
Nora bowed. ‘Thank you, my lord, but no. I have to tend to my granddaughter.’ Brendan started to go with her when Nora said to her son, ‘No, please stay. I know how much you are missing beer.’ She bowed once again to us and left.
‘Your mother,’ Gerard said after seating Brendan and uncorking a beer for him, ‘is … old.’
‘Yes, try not to point that out to her when you meet her next. She’s getting a bit tired of that.’
