by Delisa Lynn
Chapter Three
Ashton
Some people will never change. You try to give them every goddamn thing they want and they take you for granted and show no appreciation. I married my wife five years ago, only because she was pregnant with my son, AJ. I met Christabella at a strip club. You ever hear the saying, “You can’t turn a hoe into a house wife”? It’s so fucking true! I’ve tried; believe me, I’ve tried. She was wonderful at first. Hell, I even started loving her, but things started to change and all that good shit flew out the window.
When I wake up, I notice she’s nowhere to be found. We don’t even sleep in the same room anymore. I sleep on the couch or with AJ. He’s been having awful nightmares, and I’m pretty sure it has a lot to do with his mother. I try not to fight and argue with her in front of him, but the way she acts makes it so goddamn hard.
I look outside and see her car in the driveway. I run to the garage. Just as I feared, my new Harley is gone. I’m ready to choke her. No one messes with my cars or bikes other than my son. They’re my life.
I have no fucking clue where she is and what she could have done with it. I try calling her and it goes straight to voicemail. Of course she wouldn’t have her phone on. She’s probably too damn high to even know where the hell she is. I need to contact Liam to see if he and Lila can keep AJ.
“Liam, dude, the bitch has gone crazy and took my bike. I need you to watch AJ for me.”
“Seriously, you need to just get rid of her ass. You and AJ would be better off. Call my mom. We are out of town, but you know she will watch him. Be careful man, and I’ll call you soon.”
“Thanks, brother, I owe you one. Tell Li I said hey.”
“Will do. Talk with ya later.”
***
I wake my boy up and get him ready to go to Miss Sofia’s. He loves hanging out with her; she spoils all the kids. I tell him we will stop and have breakfast—sausage biscuits, AJ’s idea of a breakfast for champions.
“Daddy, where is your new bike?” he asks as we enter the garage.
“It needed some work, so it’s in the shop. We will take Old Blue today. Is that okay?”
I can’t tell him the truth. He’s already afraid of his mother and it breaks my fucking heart. What kid is afraid of their own mother?
“Well, can we take Big Red instead?” he asks, referring to my Chevy Silverado.
“Anything you want, buddy. Now, you may be at Miss Sofia’s for a while, so I packed you extra toys and snacks. Also, a few of your movies you like to watch. Are you okay with staying there?” I ask, knowing he’ll say yes.
“Yeah, Daddy. I like her. How come she isn’t my nana like she is Addie and Maddie’s? I call her Miss Sofia and they don’t.”
“That’s because she’s their grandmother. She isn’t yours. Gram is your grandmother.”
“Well, they have two. Why do I only have one?”
This is the first time he’s asked about this. His mother should be the one to explain, but she probably wouldn’t make any sense to him.
“Do you remember when I told you about Aunt Addison and how she lives in heaven with Jesus? Well, that’s where your other grandma is. She went to heaven when your mommy was really little, so that’s why she never talks about her.”
“Oh, maybe she and Aunt Addison are watching TV together in heaven. I wish I could’ve met Aunt Addison. Aunt Lila really misses her. She showed us a picture of all of you in school.”
“Yeah, buddy. She would have loved to meet you. She and Aunt Lila were best friends. You know, like how your friend, Jay, is your best friend?” I say, choking back tears. Talking about my sister always chokes me up. She sure was one of a kind. She hated Christa and I know she would have already killed her.
“I wish we could visit them. I think Aunt Addie would like me. Can we go back to her park? You ’member? We went there before. We put flowers there.”
“Yeah, she would like you. You know she will always watch over you. We can’t go today, but I will take you soon, okay?”
“Thank you. I’m glad you’re my daddy. You are the best ever.”
“I’m glad you are my son. I’ll always be here for you, buddy. Anything you need, all you do is ask. Okay?”
“Okay, I will. I’m hungry.”
“We’re almost there, and we’ll get breakfast.” I feel tears ready to spill down my damn face.
AJ is one of a kind. I am one lucky man. His mother doesn’t know what she’s missing. I can’t believe the shit she’s pulling. Thinking about how much she has changed makes me so sick. AJ used to adore her. He rarely asks about her anymore. Hell, he would rather it just be the two of us.
I go through the drive-thru of McDonalds and order some sausage biscuits. Afterward, I head to Sofia’s.
I try calling Christa several more times and still can’t get through to her. I call a buddy of mine that works undercover to see if he has seen my bike or my wife. He says no, but he’ll keep an eye out for them.
“Now, you be good for Miss Sofia, and if you need anything, you call me. You remember where the number is?”
“Okay. I ’member, and Miss Sofia has it hanging on the refrigerator too.”
I kneel down. “Give me one of those big hugs,”
He wraps his little arms around my neck. “Love you this big, Daddy.”
“I love you more, little dude.” I kiss his forehead.
I go to Christa’s favorite seedy neighborhood, where I figured she would be. Sure enough, I find my bike sitting at some run down crack house. I hate carrying a gun, but with a wife like mine, I have to. I grab my piece, hide it under my waistband, and knock on the door.
A very young man answers the door. He’s not wearing a shirt, nor is he showing any effort to hide the bruises littering his chest and stomach. A cigarette is hanging out of his mouth.
“I’m looking for Christa. Have you seen her?” I ask.
He stares at me like I’m the crazy one. “Maybe. Depends on who you are and what you want, brah.”
“Well, first off, I’m not your brah. Secondly, I want my fucking bike,” I say, pointing to my bike. It’s parked, haphazardly, in his yard.
“Oh, you’re her rich husband? Yeah, she owed me some money, so she brought me the bike for collateral. If you have the money she owes me, then I can give you that bike back.”
“How much?” I ask, even though I assume it will be more than what I have on me.
“Give me a hundred bucks and it’s yours.” He lights another cigarette.
“I can do that. So, is she here?” I ask, but I already know the answer. More likely than not, she was probably just pleasing him in one way or another.
He opens the door and, sure enough, she’s lying on the dirty ass floor, nude, with a pipe in her hand.
“Let her sleep. Do me a favor; here is an extra two hundred to not tell her I was here. Can you do that for me?”
“Hell yeah. It’s our secret, brah,” he says. He takes the money and gives me my bike keys.
I can’t believe how stupid I am for not throwing her ass out yet. I should have a long time ago. Things will definitely change. I’ll have to take her ass to court to get custody of my boy, but I’ll fight her with all I have. She isn’t getting him; I’ll make sure of that.
I load my bike on my truck and head out of Crackville. When I get home, I pack all of her shit. Hell, she probably sold almost everything she owns. I put all of her clothes and shoes in trash bags and set them by the living room door. We have separate checking accounts so there is no way she can touch my money. I’ll be damned if she will get any of my hard earned money so she can do what she is doing.
Before picking AJ up, I decide to stop by and see Addison. I buy her some yellow and purple flowers from the florist. While walking to the stone, tears run down my face. Damn, I miss this girl more than any-fucking-thing. She hated me so much sometimes, but one thing was for sure. She always had my back. That’s what twins do, she would always say.
The day she died, a piece of me died, too. But I knew I had to stay strong for my unborn child and Lila. We didn’t know where Liam was, and Lila and Addison were the best of friends. You never saw one without the other. Lila was a total wreck, and I needed to comfort her.
I kneel in front of her stone. I place the flowers in front and run my fingers over her name. Coming here is always hard. I try to bring AJ whenever I can.
“Hey, sis. How are things up there? I could really use you down here right now. Things are so fucked up with Christa and me. You were right, she wasn’t what I wanted, but she got pregnant and I couldn’t leave my child. So much has changed since you’ve been gone.
“Mom and Dad are doing okay, but we all miss you every day. The day you took your last breath was the day that changed all of us. Your heart will forever live through us. I share stories and pictures with AJ. You would love him. He’s an amazing child. He looks just like me, poor kid. Please watch over us; this is going to be a trying time for us. I’m finally going to divorce her. I hate saying her name. I’m glad I took your advice when you told me to make her sign a prenuptial agreement.
“Addison, I love you so much. I know you had so much more to give us all, but there were other plans for you up there. I’ll be back soon, and I’ll bring my little man with me. Until we meet again, I’ll be seeing ya.”
I walk back to my truck and cry like a baby, both for my sister and everything that has been going on. I’m not as strong as I thought I was.
Chapter Four
Lila
I wake up to the smell of French toast, eggs and bacon—turkey bacon, that is. Liam thinks it’s healthier for baby bean. I’ve noticed we’re both using the name baby bean. I have the greatest husband ever.
Today is our last day here. I’ve had an amazing weekend. We stayed in bed all day yesterday and called room service four times: breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a late night snack.
I’ve been so hungry lately and craving the oddest things. Last night I wanted salted caramel gelato and Funyuns. Thank God the resort has a never ending supply of whatever you need because I ate three family size bags of Funyuns.
I need to talk to Liam about Evan and everything that has happened. I know, deep down, he knows. He told me we can talk when I’m ready. I don’t know how to explain all the feelings I have for Evan and the time we spent together. I could never regret anything I’ve done with Evan. I know that makes me sound like an awful person, but I can’t just shut my feelings for him off. I don’t think they will ever leave my heart.
I honestly thought my feelings for Evan would go away when Liam came back. Then, after Liam and I got married, I still had dreams about Evan. Four years later and I still have the same feelings I had the day I told Evan I was in love with him.
If this baby is Evan’s, it’ll kill Liam and ruin our family. I can’t lose him. I love him too much.
***
When I woke up in the hospital and Liam told me I was pregnant, I instantly felt sick. I remembered I had stopped my birth control because we wanted to have another baby before the twins started school. Liam loved the idea of having them all home at the same time. He works from home most of the time and so do I when I don’t have a huge case that needs me in the office or the courtroom.
My plan was to travel to New York and see my friends. I wanted to see Evan, but I never thought I would cheat on Liam. The feelings I have for Liam and the ones I have for Evan are very different. Yes, I’m in love with them both, but I can never be with Evan. My heart and soul are and always have been Liam’s.
When Liam was in the Army, I would cry myself to sleep every night. Not knowing where he was or if he was hurt broke me. I put up a mask on the outside, but on the inside I was dying. I let my guard down and let Evan fall for me. In the process, I fell for him. I was drinking bottles of wine for fucking breakfast. That’s how bad I was hurting.
After Nikki moved, all I had was Evan. He showed me how special I was and filled that void created by Liam’s absence. I was only nineteen and had only been seeing Liam for about six months before he went into the Army, but I knew I would marry him someday. Then he disappeared and Evan swooped me up with his country charm and his beautiful soul, not to mention his sexy body and amazing voice. I accepted his proposal, but prayed that I would get my Liam back. I hurt Evan so bad. How can Evan even be friends with me after everything I put him through?
And now this. I can’t tell Liam. No one knows I’m pregnant. I know Nikki suspects it, which is particularly terrible because I’m supposed to be her matron of honor and Evan is, of course, Brody’s best man. At this rate, I’ll be going to the wedding with a newborn baby and an angry friend wondering why I didn’t tell her.
***
“What’s going through the beautiful mind of yours?” Liam asks.
He carries our luggage from the bedroom and sets it in front of the door. Then he leans in and kisses me.
“What I need to tell you may hurt you. Do you want to talk here or at home?”
I sit on the couch, hoping he’ll say here. I want to get it all out now so we can move on with our lives.
He sighs and runs his hands—not just one hand, but both—through his hair. That means he is discouraged. I know my husband; he is going to hate everything I’m getting ready to say. I pull a pillow in front of my stomach for comfort. I look into his eyes and see hurt and sadness.
“Li, I’ll call and add another night. Also, I’ll call Mom to let her know we won’t be back until tomorrow or the next day. Whatever we need to talk about, I think we should just talk here and stay until we’re both calm and ready to go back to our girls, okay?”
I sigh. I don’t know if I should start with day one or the last couple months. He makes his calls and takes our bags back into the bedroom. He changes into a pair of sweats and takes his shirt off. He is so goddamn sexy. His abs are enough to drive any woman crazy, and the way his pants hang low around his V shape…I can lick, suck, and fuck his body all day long. No, it isn’t the hormones talking. My Liam is truly the definition of eye candy.
“So, should I sit down next to you or across the room?” Liam asks.
He’s standing in front of me with his arms folded across his chest. Hell, if it weren’t for this conversation we’re getting ready to have, I’d be ready to tackle his man parts with my mouth.
“Can you please sit next to me and hold my hand?” I ask as I reach my hand out to him.
He walks to the kitchen and comes back with some paper towels. I know he knows exactly what I’m going to say. He takes my hand in his and kisses the top of it, then sits next to me and pulls me in for a hug.
He kisses my cheek. “I will never leave your side, love. We are in this together.”
***
“I’m just going to tell you everything. Please let me finish before you say anything, okay?” I ask, squeezing his hand. He doesn’t say anything. He just nods his head and squeezes my hand.
“First, I want you to know I love you more than anything and I will until I take my last breath. You complete me and I have loved you since the day you comforted me when I caught Ashton cheating. When you told me you were joining the Army, it broke my heart. I hated that we were going in different directions just as we had developed our feelings for each other.
“When I started NYU and met Evan, he was a great friend. I never meant for him to fall in love with me or me to fall for him. I was so comfortable with him. He knew how much I loved you. I talked about you all the time. He knew about you, that you were it for me. I was hoping you would come home and propose to me, and he knew that. I hadn’t heard from you in months and I was so lonely. He and I had been hanging out together every minute we could. The night his mother passed away changed everything.
“Any questions so far?” I ask, knowing what I’m getting ready to say is going to put me in tears. More than likely, he will also be in tears and ready to leave me all alone.
“I don’t right now. I’m goin
g to grab me a beer and you a water.”
He walks to the kitchen. Hell, I need a damn beer myself. Of all the times we could’ve had this discussion, it happens when I can’t drink.
He hands me a water and kisses my lips. I love the way his lips feel against mine; they are always so warm and soft. I inhale his manly scent as he sits next to me. He reaches out for my hand. As our fingers intertwine, I feel comfortable talking to him about Evan and confident that Liam is ready to hear everything.
“The first time I slept with Evan was the night his mother passed. He was hurt and lost. He was a mess when he came to me. I held him, and I let him hold me. When he kissed me, I wanted him. I knew it was wrong; I knew I shouldn’t have been in bed with him in the first place, but I was comfortable with him. He was a huge part of my life. He needed me and I will admit I needed him just as much, if not more.”
I take a deep breath and squeeze Liam’s hand. He kisses my cheek. I can feel tears ready to erupt at any moment. I choke back a sob and speak again.
“I didn’t know what to do, but I knew once he started kissing me, we couldn’t stop. One thing led to another and we had sex. As soon as we finished, all the emotions came flooding in. I knew I had just messed up everything and probably lost you in the process. I’d planned to tell you when I saw you on Thanksgiving. Nothing else happened, other than little kisses here and there, until you didn’t return in November.”
I stop. The anger in Liam’s face crushes me. It’s written all over his face that he’s breaking. All he’s ever done is love me, so why do I keep hurting him? The way his eyes dip, the red that takes over the mocha brown, breaks my heart. I want to take my words back and run as far as I can, but I have to explain everything so he can understand my actions.
“Lila, I know this is hurting you as bad as it is me. Please continue. I want to know everything.”
