by Delisa Lynn
“Thanks for being you. He’ll come around tomorrow, be easy on him.”
I hug him, but I’m still very pissed at him and Liam, and I will find out what in the hell went on. Ugh, the smell makes me want to throw up. I hate the smell of skanks.
Going to a damn strip club…If it was a bar, that would be fine, but a fucking hooker joint? A scrap of paper with a phone number scribbled on it fell out of one of their pockets. I flushed that shit down the toilet.
I crawl in bed, alone, for the first time in months. I didn’t even bother to get Liam awake after he passed out in the middle of our conversation. I lie there and, as usual, cry. For the first time in years, I cry without thinking about Evan.
I think about Liam being in the Army, then in that hospital for so long, surrounded by people who didn’t know who he was or where he was from. He must have been scared when he woke, knowing that his family was looking for him and none of us were there. Imagining what he must have felt all of those months makes me even sadder. I’d never really thought about it. While I was living my life, having fun and sleeping with Evan, he was lying in a strange place with no one he loved around him.
When we found him, I was the happiest I’d been since he left for the Army. I loved Evan, but Liam was all I thought about. Sure, there were times when I was happy with Evan and didn’t think about Liam, but that wasn’t very often. I was completely honest with Evan about my feelings for Liam, and he knew, if I was ever given a second chance for a life with Liam, I would leave him.
This is our second chance and I fucked it up. I knew the night I slept with Evan in New York would ruin everything, but, at that moment, I didn’t care. All I cared about was feeling Evan’s touch again. That night changed everything and turned my world upside down. Whatever Liam has done, I deserve.
As I think and cry about the wrong choices I’ve made, I know I did one thing right and that was coming back to Liam. If he fucked some skanky stripper, we will get past it. It’s going to hurt, but we will overcome this, just as we have all of the obstacles thrown our way. I’ll never leave him.
***
“Well, good morning, sleepy head. Did you sleep well on the couch, smelling like that cheap ass perfume?” I ask my wonderful husband as he comes strolling in our room at seven in the morning.
Thank God everyone else is still asleep. He looks at me with tears in his glassy blue eyes.
“So, what happened with you and the stripper last night? You sure did smell an awful lot like her. Before your drunk ass passed out, you were telling me quite an interesting story. Somewhere along the line, she possibly touched and kissed you? Is that what you were going to say to me, Liam Anthony Ellis?”
He looks at me and sits down on the bed. He runs both hands through his hair. I kneel down in front of him. If he fucking tells me he slept with some tramp, I may not be able to suppress what these hormones make me do.
“If you went to a club, got drunk, and buried yourself in some tramp, I need to fucking know now!” I yell. I’m so mad. Blood is boiling in my veins like it has never boiled before.
“Li, goddamn it. No, I didn’t fuck anyone. I danced with her and she kissed me and grabbed my dick. Did it feel good? Yes, it did. Is that what you want to hear? I let some tramp touch me and shove her tongue down my throat. I have never wanted anyone other than you. No one has touched me since high school except for you. So yes, having some tramp grind her ass on me and touching me turned me on. But I left, Li. I love you so much. I would never be with anyone else.
“I was drunk, and to be honest with you, I’m pissed. You went to a wedding for your friend and almost died on your way home. Then I find out you are pregnant, and the baby may not be mine. You want to know what the worst part is. Knowing that you let Evan fuck you not once, but twice and without a condom.
“He had his dick buried inside of you with nothing between the two of you. His bare skin touched your insides. You’re my fucking wife, my life, and some other fucker had a hell of a weekend banging the fuck out of you. Now I’ll have to look at our son every goddamn day for the rest of our lives and think about you fucking Evan Martin. That’s what my problem is, Lila Rae Ellis. I know you didn’t mean to and I know you are sorry, that you love me and all that other bullshit. But it happened, and now not only do you have to live with it, but so does our family.
“What do you think everyone will say if they find out? You know, my family and family name is well known around half the state. You’re a wife, a mother, and a lawyer and you are acting like you’re still nineteen. I understand you had a thing with Evan when I was in the Army. I get that, but to fuck him at your father’s memorial service while I was not even ten feet away…What kind of person are you? Who the hell does that? I don’t know. I thought I was okay with everything, but it’s tearing me apart, tearing us apart, because last night I was ready to do the exact same thing you did and forget about you for the night. But I guess that’s the difference; I have a conscious.”
I can’t believe he’s trying to use my cheating as an excuse for his behavior. No fucking excuse can make this better. My jaw clenches in anger. Tears stream down my cheeks.
I look at him and say, “Well, since I’m such a whore and a bad wife, looks like I’ll leave you to do whatever and fuck whoever you want. You may want to get tested; I’m sure that skank had some sort of disease. I’m sorry my childish behavior will ruin the Ellis name.”
“What if it was me, Li? What if I did that shit to you? You wouldn’t like it one goddamn bit. That fucker came to the hospital and talked to me. I bet his country ass was smiling and laughing at me, thinking, ‘ha ha, motherfucker, I fucked your wife—not once, but three times since you’ve been back; oh, I’m sorry, make that four. While you were home watching your kids, I was making her scream my name, giving her orgasm after orgasm.’ How the hell am I supposed to feel?”
“I’m not sure, but I’m not doing this. You’re right, he was probably laughing at you the entire time, thinking about fucking me nice and hard, coming in me over and over while I screamed his name. Is that what you said?”
I kiss his cheek, walk into the closet, pack a bag, and throw on some sweat pants. He has never spoken to me that way, and I never thought he would, but I’ve driven him to this point. My selfishness has ruined my marriage and has made my husband’s love and respect for me vanish. Everything we worked to build back up, I’ve completely fucked it all up.
“Li, what the hell? I told you I didn’t fuck any-goddamn-body. I love you too much. I would never do to you what you’ve done to me. I’m so confused. What the hell do you want from me? I can’t take back last night, just like you can’t take back being with Evan all those times,” he says.
He approaches me slowly, as if I’m an animal that’ll bolt away at any moment if he moves too fast, and places his arms around my waist. I shove him off.
“I don’t want anything from you! And just so you know, I will never need anything from you either. Please don’t touch me again. If I were you, I would take a shower and call the cleaners to clean the couch.”
“Baby, come on, don’t act like this.”
He grabs me around my waist and tries pulling me into him. Again, I shove him off.
“I said don’t fucking touch me. I’m leaving, so get out of my way. Now!” I seethe.
I walk out of our room and down the hall to the girl’s room, tears pouring out of my eyes. I place gentle kisses on each of my angels’ foreheads and spend a few seconds watching them sleep.
“Momma loves you, my sweet girls,” I whisper.
Liam stands in the hall, staring at me as I walk away. I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going. I run down the steps and straight to my SUV before I change my mind. I drive to the grocery store and buy three bags of Funyuns and some water. My phone starts ringing. I look down and see Liam’s handsome face and just ignore him. I pop a Leona Lewis CD in the stereo and turn it up full blast, singing the lyrics of “Better in Time.”
As I drive down Hollywood Boulevard, I make a U-turn right in the middle of traffic and head to the closest Starbucks. I order two of my favorite drinks plus a tall coffee with extra cream and drive to the cemetery. It’s been raining all morning, so the ground is wet. Luckily there is a blanket in the back seat. Grabbing the blanket and my drinks, I get out of my car, my radio still blaring. I sit next to Ads. The Starbucks cup is still there from last week.
“Ads, I’m a total screw up. I think I may have lost my husband to a stripper. Well, I’m not sure, sweets. I have no clue what I’m doing. Apparently, I will ruin the famous Ellis name. Good thing I’m still a Carls too. I can’t believe he said that to me. Ads, I pray to God this is Liam’s son. If you have any pull up there, my friend, can you help us out? I can’t lose him, not now and not like this. You know, for the first time since I met Evan, I went to sleep last night and didn’t think about him. That’s a step, right?
“I brought you a drink. I hope you don’t mind, but I may drink it. Do you remember the first time I met Liam? He was so nervous and so broken and you said to me that day, ‘That boy loves you already.’ I can’t believe he’s loved me all this time. When he was missing, I thought about him all the time. Hell, even when I was screwing Evan, I thought about Liam.
“When I became his wife, it was one of the best days of my life…Well, other than meeting you and having the girls. I never meant to sleep with Evan the last time I went to New York. I don’t have any excuses; it just happened, and I can’t change it. I guess I better go. I know Liam is probably calling the National Guard by now. I left, Ads. I don’t know when I’m going back. I just needed to get away. I love you, my friend, always and forever.”
Chapter Nine
Liam
“Ashton, get up now. We have to find Lila. She isn’t answering her phone. I can’t believe I let her leave like that. I’m so damn stupid.”
“What do you mean? Where is she?” he asks, jumping up out of the bed.
“I’m not sure. She left and it’s been almost two hours. I said some pretty hurtful things and I just don’t know, man. I’m scared. My mom came and picked the kids up. I sent AJ with her also. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course, he adores Miss Sofia. Come on, we will find her. Any clue where she is?”
“Nope. She packed a bag and left. No one has heard from her. I’ve called her mom, Nikki, and Eric, but none of them know where she is. I can’t file a missing report just yet. I’ve called her a million times and she isn’t answering.”
“Let’s go. I’ll drive. We will check the gym, mall, and nail salon first. Then check every Chipotle within a twenty mile radius. Can you think of anywhere else she would have gone?”
After a couple seconds of mulling it over, the answer comes to me. “Go to the cemetery. That’s where she will be.”
I don’t know why I didn’t think of that first. She always goes to Ads for everything.
“She would be at my sister’s grave? Does she go there often?” Ashton asks with a surprised look.
I know some people stay away from graveyards, but Lila goes any chance she gets. She knows that Ads isn’t there, but it helps her. “Yes, she goes there a lot. We take the girls most times. Do you not take AJ there? Does he know anything about his aunt?” I ask, unable to hide the disgust in my voice.
I see his hands grip the steering wheel. He closes his eyes, then opens them before replying. “He knows who she was. But no, we don’t go very often. Christabella doesn’t think it’s normal. I quit going as much as I used to, but I went last week.”
“Fuck her. I’m sorry, I know she is your wife, but do you know how dumb that sounded? We’ll talk about that another day. Right now, let’s find my Lila.”
***
I try calling Lila. Again, it just goes to voice mail. When we pull into the cemetery, I don’t see her car. We drive to our family plots. Two empty Starbucks cups and a half eaten bag of Funyuns are next to Addison’s stone. Two of the cups are still cold and one has Lila’s lip gloss on the straw.
“She’s been here recently because the cups are still cold. I also don’t think anyone but Lila would eat Funyuns here,” I say.
“Where would she have gone next? Should we check the other places we talked about? I say the mall first.”
“Hell, Ashton, I don’t know. I was so mean to her. I told her she would ruin our family name. How fucking stupid does that sound?”
“Come on, we will find her. Don’t be so hard on yourself. She knows you really didn’t mean it.”
We drive to the mall and walk around the food court and all of Lila’s favorite stores, but there’s still no sign of her. Then we leave and go to the other mall across town. By the time we finish exploring the other mall, seven hours have gone by. No one has heard from her. If something happens to her, I will never forgive myself.
I call all the hospitals in the area and the airport. Nothing. It’s like she just vanished. Ashton and I have been driving around all day. We go into every salon and spa on this side of California. I’m tired and worried. I go to the police station and they still can’t help me. Ashton has to drag me out of there to stop me from getting arrested.
“Ashton, what the hell have I done? She is gone because of me. I said all that shit to her. What if she is hurt or dead? What if I have lost my Li for good?”
I bury my head in my hands and cry like a baby. I can’t help it; she is my world. She is everything to me. I talked to her like she was nothing. I made her feel like she was nothing. I did this, and she is gone because of me.
“We will find her. I have a few buddies at the tattoo shop that I will call. They see everyone around the area close to the cemetery; maybe they’ve seen her.”
“Thanks, man. Let’s grab a burger or something. I don’t know if I can eat it, but I’m starving.”
“Okay, what about Burger Barn? We can just go through the drive-thru and keep driving.”
“Sounds good. Call your people. See if they have seen my wife.”
We go to Burger Barn and I order a burger and fries and an iced tea. I eat some of the meal, but feel like I’m going to regret it. Ashton’s on the phone with his friend and I can tell he’s a little confused. He tells the person on the other end that we’ll be right there and hangs up.
“Everything okay, Ash?” I ask. The look on his face is making me even more terrified about Lila. “What the hell is going on?”
“She was at the tattoo shop, I think. They said a very attractive pregnant woman was in there about an hour ago. I don’t know if she knows that’s the one I work at or not. We will go there, review the video, and see if it was her.”
What in the hell was she doing there? She wouldn’t get a tattoo while she was pregnant. God, I hope she is okay, where ever she is. When we find her, I’m never letting her out of my sight. She will get so tired of looking at me.
I try calling her again and she doesn’t answer. I check her Facebook and Twitter to see if she has been on either, but nothing new has been posted.
***
Ashton
What is Lila thinking, trying to get a tattoo while she is pregnant? She isn’t thinking, obviously. Whatever Liam said to her must have hurt her pretty bad for her to leave and not take the girls. We need to get to the shop and make sure it was her.
Over the phone, Toom, my co-worker, said it had to be her because he’d seen her ID and noticed she was an Ellis, but he wouldn’t tattoo her because she’s pregnant. He said she seemed pretty upset and looked tired. I can’t believe all this is going on. Years ago, I knew my cousin would be better for her than me and now he pisses her off to the point she thinks she isn’t worth being around.
We pull up in front of the shop. I don’t see her car anywhere. We walk in and have Toom pull up the video. Sure enough, it is Lila. She wanted a tattoo on her wrist; she had drawn it out for him.
“She was very upset that we wouldn’t tattoo her. She said she needed the tattoo now, but
I informed her it wasn’t healthy with her being pregnant, so she left,” Toom says with a sigh.
Liam shoves a chair across the room. “Ashton, I’m not waiting twenty-four hours. Call Kade. He will help us if the fucking police here won’t.”
“Dude, it will take him hours to get here unless he flies,” I say, running my hands through my hair. Our cousin, Kade, is a private investigator in Arlington, Texas. He’s good at what he does, so I know he can help us find her. Liam and I have been thinking about starting a business with him.
“I don’t give a fuck. Get him here, send our private jet after him. I will pay whatever. He can track all her calls and credit cards. I need to find my wife. I can’t stand the thought of her being out there all alone and/or hurt. Goddamn it, why did I say that shit to her? Why can’t I just let the shit go and move on?”
“All right, calm down. I’m calling.”
Chapter Ten
Liam
We have to find her. I called everyone she knows, except Evan. I know she wouldn’t go there. There is no way, after everything we’ve been through, that she would. But hell, who am I kidding? I basically treated her like shit.
I swallow my pride, call Nikki and have her call him. She didn’t want to call him at first, but she gives in after I tell her that Li and I got into an argument and Li left.
Ashton sent our jet after Kade. He’s already tracking everything, but so far he hasn’t found anything. As I wait for Nikki to call me back, I pray to God Lila isn’t with Evan. I almost asked for his number so I could call my damn self. I was just getting ready to call Nik when my phone rings.
