by Delisa Lynn
As I wash my face, I realize I didn’t have lunch or dinner. I throw the washcloth in the hamper and walk to the kitchen. My cat, Softie, follows me. I forgot to set his food out, and most of the time he’ll only eat the dry cat food if it has tuna mixed in with it. Since I need to feed him, I decide to make me a tuna on toast sandwich, spooning half the can of tuna in a bowl and the remainder in Softie’s dish. I mix mine with a little olive oil and mayo. Then I spread it on a small piece of French bread.
As I take a bite, I pick up my phone and I see that I have a few texts. One is from my sister. She wants to know if I want to go on vacation in June. The other is from my best friend, who’s trying to hook me up with someone, as usual.
Story of my life—always fucking the random guy and never getting anything in return. Seth’s death, then the rape changed my entire world, the world I feel like I’m walking alone in.
“Why, Seth? Why? Why did you go out that night? Why did you get on that motorcycle? We were going to spend our lives together,” I cry out, throwing my sandwich at my kitchen wall. “I fucking loved you. You promised me. We had plans, Seth. I can’t take this shit. I’m not the same person anymore,” I scream. I shake my head after I realize how insane I must look screaming and crying at the air. I pick up the sandwich and toss it in the trash.
This is not the life I thought I would have. I’ll never find my one because one died and the other is marrying some country bumpkin.
***
My best friend, Mal, is also my assistant and I know she’ll be at the office, ready to support me. I open my office door and see a cup of coffee and a box of tissue on my desk. I sit down and pull out my phone, hoping I have a missed a call or text from Evan saying that the country bumpkin dumped him already, but there are no missed calls or texts. I throw the phone back into my purse and see Mal standing at the door.
“This can’t be happening, Mal. What the hell have I done? He’s really marrying her. He told me he wants nothing to do with me and that it was fun while it lasted, but it’s over…For good.”
“Fuck him. You deserve so much better than his country ass anyways,” she says, crossing her arms. “You know, Mark’s friend is still looking for a date for the benefit this weekend.”
“No, I’m not hooking up with him. He is what, like, eighty?” I laugh. I know he is actually about forty.
“No.” She slaps my arm. “He is thirty-nine. And he is a real fucking man, Alyssa.”
“No thanks! I’ll stick to my rubber toys and my fingers.” I laugh.
“Please, you’ll be wanting the real thing soon enough. Just go out with him. You don’t have to have sex with him. Give him a chance. He just went through a bad divorce and he needs a fresh start.”
“Ugh. You do know that I hate you, right?” I sigh. “I’ll go out with him, but only because you’ve done shit for me and you are my best friend.” I plop down at my desk.
“Pfft. Bitch, I’m your only friend.” She giggle-snorts.
“I do believe you are correct. I need to settle this case. Can you go to court with me today?” I ask as I look over the file laying on my desk. I’ve been working on Maranda’s case for months. My client is only sixteen, and she’s been living on her own since she was thirteen. Both her parents died. She did everything she could to support herself, including selling drugs. I feel so sorry for her and actually took the case on for free. Reading all of the documents and seeing how broken she was, where she came from, and what she was doing broke my heart.
“Yeah, is it for the young girl?” she asks as she opens her water bottle.
“Yes. I hope the judge lets her off. She has been through so much. I set up the interviews for her. I also spoke to the manager of a few of the local shops and restaurants. The sucky thing is they all know her background.”
“Damn, poor girl. Maybe they’ll still give her a chance.”
“I hope so. All right, let’s do this. Give me wrinkled dick’s number. I’ll meet him. But I. Am. Not. Fucking him.” I laugh.
“Come on, don’t be so judgmental. You may go out with him and fall deeply in love with him.”
“Yeah, babe, I don’t think that’ll happen.”
“He’s a good man. Just give him a shot.”
“I told you I will. What do you want me to say, that I’m going to fuck him and marry him?” I laugh.
***
It’s almost mid-February and I finally found my young client, Maranda, a job. She was cleared of all of the pending charges. She is doing really well, and I’m pleased with the outcome.
If I could get this old guy to quit calling me, my life would be good. I made the mistake of getting drunk and having sex with him. Okay, okay, his dick wasn’t as old and wrinkly as I thought it would be, but he isn’t my type. At all. The sad thing is that he keeps calling Mal when I ignore his calls. I know he is lonely, but Jesus, leave me alone.
Note to self, never let Mal hook me up with anyone. Ever again.
I’m meeting up with Blake tonight. We’ve slept together on and off the last seven or eight years. He’s always a good pick-me-up. I haven’t had a good fucking since Evan, and I’m in need of something good.
When I pull up in front of Blake’s place, I look in the rearview mirror to make sure my hair and makeup is okay. After blotting my lipstick and adjusting ‘my girls,’ I walk to his front door. He opens it and he’s standing there in nothing but a towel. I smile as I look up and down his body. His body is heavenly.
“Hey, babe. I decided not to get dressed. I knew you’d need a good, rough fuck.” He laughs as he pulls me in for a kiss. “Evan’s off the market now, huh?”
“Yep. Don’t mention his name. This is exactly why I like you. As long as I’ve known you, you’ve been my pick-me-up. The good doc knows what I like.”
I kiss him and wrap my legs around his waist. He closes the door behind us. I can feel how hard his dick is. I pull the towel away from his body and his dick springs forward.
“Condom. Then I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll have to spend the night with me,” he says between kisses.
I never stay. I get off and go, and I’ll do just that tonight. Ever since the first time we fucked and he did that to me—just got up and left—I’ve done the exact same thing to him. He’s begged me to stay all these years, but it’s not happening.
Although Blake was there for me after I was raped, he was the one that fucked me and left me alone, but he did redeem himself when he beat the hell out of both the guys. I was so grateful that he did. I saw them around campus a few times after they raped me and I wanted to kill them. I knew I couldn’t do that, but let’s just say they got what they deserved, thanks to my good friend, Double B.
Chapter Six
Heath
My life has been one big roller coaster since I was nineteen. I finally settled down with a good girl. I’m on my way home to surprise her. We need a little vacation because she and I have been working so hard. When I pull into my driveway, I see a familiar car. I grab the dozen roses, confused, and head into my house.
“Jessika?” I yell, but all I hear is music coming from the media room. Loosening my tie, I place the flowers and my keys on the kitchen counter. The smell of cigarette smoke engulfs my nostrils. I know something isn’t right.
My fists tighten at my side as I get closer to the door where the voices are coming from. One voice belongs to Jessika, the other to a guy.
“What the fuck?” I yell as I sling the door open. My eyes go directly to my friend, Ted, and my fiancée.
“Oh, he was just leaving,” she says, running toward me as I see a shadow running to the other door.
“Ted? Really, Jess?” I push past her and run back to the front of the house. Ted speeds away. “Jessika, what the fuck was he doing here?” I ask, but I can answer my own goddamn question.
“Baby, it was nothing,” she says, wiping her nose. I can tell she’s been basing.
“Nothing? You had another man in our home. Yo
u’re in your fucking night gown and you say it’s nothing?”
She tugs at the hem of her gown, trying to pull it down. “It isn’t like that, baby. It was just one time. It isn’t going to happen again. Come on, look at me. I promise.”
“One time? You said that the last fucking time. You’re a piece of fucking work, you know that? You come home high as hell all the time. I thought it was because you’ve been stressed. Apparently, I was wrong.” I can see that she is high on something. “You’re a fucking drug addict. Look at you, you’re shaking like a goddamn leaf. What’s this?” I say, picking up an empty bag with white residue off the floor.
“No, I’m not. I only take a few hits here and there. You know it helps calm my nerves. I had a rough childhood. You, of all people, are the only one that gets me. I need you. That’s nothing. It was just a little pick-me-up.”
“Stay the hell away from me. You said that the last time, so I forgave you. Not this time. Get your shit and get the fuck out of my life. I mean it. I want all of my keys back. You can keep the car, but I never want to see you again,” I yell. I can’t fucking believe I fell for her shit again.
“Heath, come on. It was nothing. Baby, look at me, please,” she says as she places her hand on my back. “You’re my world,” she cries.
I push her hands away from me. I can still smell the drugs and cigarettes on her. The smell of marijuana is overwhelming. She has powder on her nose from the coke. This is so fucked up. I’d give anything for this to be a fucking nightmare. No, this is my life, the life that I was supposed to be spending with her.
“Your world? I caught you fucking one of my golf buddies while the two of you were snorting coke. That sure is love, isn’t it, Jessika? Just go before I call the police.”
“This isn’t over. We belong together. You can’t just throw away what we have. The drugs make me feel better. You’re always working, and they cut my hours at work. I’ve been lonely. Jack was there for me.”
“I work for what I have. I work every goddamn day! I don’t go around using others to get what I want. What we had, you mean. Get out of my life.”
I push her out of the house and slam the door in her face. I walk back into the bedroom and rip all of her clothes out of my closet, the clothes that I paid for. I grab every suitcase I can find and shove her shit in them. Then I work my way to trash bags. That’s all this bitch deserves is fucking trash.
I rummage through the dresser and find pipes, lighters, and empty baggies. I throw them all against the wall. I’ve given her the last three years of my life. I gave her whatever she wanted, and this is how she repays me? I should have fucking listened to reason the first time she pulled this shit.
***
I had all the locks changed on all my properties. I don’t trust that woman one bit. Apparently, she was using me. That was the second time I caught her cheating. God only knows how many others there were. When she started using drugs, everything went downhill. Once upon a time, I thought we’d be together forever. She was the first girl I’d opened up to since Josie. I let her in and she fucking betrayed me.
Since I own half of Holden Beach and the surrounding area, she thought she would take me for everything I own. Ha, the joke is on her because she doesn’t get shit. Now she’s also out of a job because I own the bank she worked for. I made sure she was fired the day after I caught her fucking another man.
Starting today, I’m a single man. I’ll do what I did before I met Jess—bang them at their place, never mine. Never let them too close and pull away before they see how broken I am. My life has been one hell of a fucked up ride.
I won’t bore you with all the details, but I came from a broken home. My brother was killed when I was younger. I lost my first love, and my life has been fucked up since then. My parents are distant. I’ll do what I do best—work, play golf, and fuck the girls that aren’t looking for anything more than just a good fuck.
***
It’s mid-March. Jess has been gone three months. Tonight, I’m going on a blind date, one that my stepmother fixed me up on. I’m not sure why I do these things. Apparently, this woman has been interested in me for years. I’ve seen a few women since the Jessika fiasco, but nothing serious—just a few to release my stress. The last girl was so damn clingy. I hope this girl isn’t the same way.
I look around when I walk into the restaurant. When she texted me, she said she would be wearing a black dress with white pumps.
I see a beautiful blonde waving from the bar. I walk over to her. I guess she isn’t as bad looking as I thought she’d be. I reach my hand out to shake hers. “Heath Mason, and you are Maxie, correct?”
“Well, hey there. Yes, that would be me. Have a seat,” she says as she pulls the stool next to her out.
“Thanks. Please forgive me, but I know nothing about you. My stepmother did speak very highly of you,” I say as I motion for the bartender. “Would you like a drink?”
“She and my mother have been friends for years. Yes, a margarita, please.”
“Awesome. Are you from around here?” I ask.
“Yes, I grew up in Holden. I actually moved away when I attended college, but I came back as soon as I finished.” She laughs. “I missed it, believe it or not.”
“I know what you mean. I’ve lived here most of my life. Where did you attend college?”
“Virginia State.”
“What? No wonder you wanted to move back home,” I say. The waiter sets my beer in front of me. I take a sip. “No, I’m kidding. I heard they have some wonderful programs.”
“Yes, they do. I just missed home. I felt like I was on the other side of the country. Once I graduated, I applied for a few jobs and ended up back to my roots.”
“What type of work do you do?” I ask, still feeling like I know nothing about her, other than she is beautiful and has an amazing giggle.
“I’m a social worker. I love it. I actually have a degree in physiology, but this is what I love to do. I’ve been with the same company going on six years now. Some of my clients are ruthless, but that’s expected with what I do.”
“I bet you have seen and heard some interesting things.”
“I sure have, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”
“Hey, would you like to get out of here?”
“I thought you’d never ask. I’ve been thinking about being with you all night.” She giggles.
“I think we can arrange that.”
***
I take a shower and wash all of Maxie from my body. I crawl into bed and stare at the ceiling. I lie there, thinking back to the night that I asked Josie to marry me.
“Why can’t you just marry me already?”
“Heath Mason, I’m not going to be tied down. I want to explore the world. You’re never giving all of this up,” she says, pointing at the ocean. She’s right. I’d hate to leave this place.
“You’re so goddamn stubborn, you know that?”
“Yep, I know. That’s why you love me. Come on, let’s not ruin tonight. I would love to feel you in between my legs.” She winks.
I run my hands through my hair. “You’re killing me.”
I can’t believe she’s gone. She was a damn spitfire. I turn my light off. Minutes after, I drift to sleep and dream about what could have been.
I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing. It’s a private caller. I send them to voice mail and turn back over. Then, not even two fucking seconds later, it starts going off again. Not knowing who it is, I think it may be important, so I answer it. The moment I hear her voice, I regret it.
“Heath, please just hear me out. I need some money. You left me broke. I lost my job. I’m living here and there and everywhere.”
“Well, that happens when you decide to become a drug-using whore.” I hit end and turn my phone off. I fluff my pillow and go back to sleep.
***
Early June
Abby, Brett’s fiancée, and her sister, Alyssa, are meeting me today t
o pick up keys for one of my rentals. Brett swears that I have to meet his soon-to-be sister-in-law. She’s a big shot attorney in New York City. He said she’s just about a year younger than I am and he knows she and I would hit it off, or so he thinks.
After my breakup with Jess six months back, I swore off women. That woman fucking broke me. I should have known it was too good to be true. She was almost perfect, or so I thought. I gave her three years of my life, three years of financially supporting her and her shopping habits as well as her drug addiction.
I just hope that meeting this chick won’t ruin my friendship with Brett. He’s determined that I meet her. Fucker would not take no for an answer. After saying yes, I wondered if I’d regret it. I’ve tried not to date much since Jess.
Everything about this girl sounds familiar. The way Brett speaks about her, it’s as if I have met her before. I don’t know anyone from New York. I’ve only been there a few times, but never hooked up with or met any ladies there. At the very least, I can meet her. It’s not like I’m going to fall for her the minute I lay my eyes on her. Just to satisfy my friend, I decide to give it a shot and ask this chick out.
I hope she won’t be that bad. It’s like all the good ones are dead or taken. A few months ago, I ended up sleeping with one of Jess’s friends, and I regretted it as soon as I entered her. I haven’t been with anyone since then. Hell, at the rate I’m going, this girl will probably be just like the rest of them.
Chapter Seven
Alyssa
I can’t believe I let my sister, Abby, talk me into this. We’re going to the beach for the summer. After going off to college, I always avoided family vacations. Although I graduated a few years ago, my sister thinks I need a break. I definitely need to get away from New York City, but I’m not so sure a family vacation is the ideal getaway. I don’t like going places where there are happy couples.
