by Amy Ruttan
“You could,” Zoe suggested. “You both could go out and get a tree and some decorations and then we can decorate it tonight.”
“You’re imposing a lot on Geraldine.”
“She won’t mind.” Zoe winked at her.
Geri knew she should leave, but she was enjoying her time with Thomas and Zoe. It had been a long time since she’d enjoyed herself like this, where she felt a part of a family. Where she wasn’t alone. It scared her a bit.
“I’d love to but—”
“No buts,” Thomas said, and then he took her hand in his, sending a zing of warmth flooding through her veins at the simplicity of his touch. “We’d love to have you.”
* * *
Thomas had known that Geraldine had been going to make an excuse to leave and he should’ve let her go, but he didn’t want her to. He’d never seen White Christmas before. It was an okay movie, but it was the time with his sister and Geraldine, the quality time, that’s what he cherished. It was nice and he wanted to savor it.
And he didn’t want it to end.
He had no problem going out and getting a Christmas tree for Zoe, as long as Geraldine came with him. As long as she stayed and helped decorate it.
“Are you sure?” Geraldine asked.
“Of course he is,” Zoe insisted. “Please go out and get a proper tree and decorations and we’ll decorate it. It would be wonderful.”
“I will on one condition. You rest,” Geraldine said to Zoe, tucking the blanket around her.
“Deal.”
“Oh, I don’t think we should leave her alone, though,” Geraldine said. “She’s still recovering.”
“We have servants. Our housekeeper, Mrs. Brown, would be happy to sit with her.” Thomas grinned at her. “There’s no getting out of it, Geraldine. You’re the one who loves Christmas most out of the three of us and you’re the best one to pick out the tree and decorations.”
“I guess that’s settled.”
Thomas nodded. “It is. Portobello Road should have everything we require and it’s not that far from here. We can walk. I mean, you do have the proper footwear for it.”
Geraldine rolled her eyes. “Let’s go, then, before you change your mind.”
Thomas left the sitting room and arranged for Mrs. Brown to keep an eye on Zoe while he was out with Geraldine, and by the time he was done Geraldine was waiting in the foyer all bundled up again.
Thomas put on his ski jacket and a knitted cap with flaps. When he turned round Geraldine laughed at him.
“You don’t look very stately, Your Grace.”
“Neither do you, My Lady, but will that stop you from escorting me out on my errand?” He bowed and added a little flourish.
“Of course not.”
They headed out of the house. It was dusk and the Christmas lights were starting to come on. It wasn’t snowing, though, which was a shame, because for the first time in a long time he felt a bit excited about the prospect of Christmas.
Like a bit of that Christmas spirit he’d thought was long gone was coming back to life. It was nice. They walked along the street and headed toward Portobello Road, which was bustling and overflowing with street vendors, Christmas paraphernalia and shoppers.
“Where do we get a tree?” Thomas asked as they walked through the crowds.
“The vendor over there looks like he has some good trees.” Geraldine paused. “I just thought of something. How are we going to get it back to your place?”
“We’ll carry it. Come on, we’re two strong and healthy doctors. I’m sure we can carry a tree a couple of blocks.”
“Okay, so let’s get some decorations and tinsel in the Christmas shop there and then we’ll pick up the tree. We can’t go shopping for decorations lugging an evergreen all over the place.”
“Good plan.”
They wandered into the little shop that was overflowing with gifts, confectionary and decorations. It was Christmas overload in there. Thomas felt a little bit overwhelmed and wanted to leave, but Geraldine was in her element.
He never seen her like this. Her green eyes were sparkling and she was grinning as she filled a basket full of gaudy decorations. This wasn’t the cold, detached doctor he was used to. This was a totally different person and he liked this side of her. This was the side he’d known was buried under that cold facade. This was the real her that she was so desperately trying to hide, but he couldn’t figure out why.
“Can’t we keep to a theme?” Thomas asked.
“A theme? If this is your first Christmas tree, the theme should be fun. What were you thinking?” Geraldine asked.
“Simplicity.” Thomas stared at a box of twinkle lights. “Just a tree and maybe some ribbon.”
She frowned at him and then sang a song, “You’re a mean one, Mr. Ashwood...”
He rolled his eyes. “Fine, but no flashing lights. I don’t want to have a seizure every time I go into the sitting room.”
Geraldine laughed. “Deal.”
“And no ornaments that bark or meow Christmas carols.”
“How about a singing fish?” she asked, and pointed to the abomination wearing a Santa hat on the wall.
“No. Definitely not.” As if on cue, someone else in the store pressed the fish and it began to sing “Jingle Bells” like Elvis.
“Why Elvis?” Geraldine asked in horror. “That is awful.”
“We need to get out of here before we find out how that monstrosity sings.” Thomas pointed towards the very large reindeer head that was hanging on the wall, also adorned with a Santa hat.
“Agreed.”
They purchased their lights and decorations and then headed out to pick out a tree. They found one with ease and the man tied it up for them. Together they hoisted it up and portaged it much like a canoe down Portobello Road back towards his home.
He took the back end, because Geraldine wasn’t as tall as him, so he could kind of steer. The problem was a lot of the lower branches blocked her view, so he had to guide her through the streets, making sure she didn’t crash into anything.
“I’m getting covered in sap!” Thomas shouted.
“You’re not a sap,” Geraldine’s muffled voice said from under the tree.
“I didn’t say that I was, I said I’m getting covered in it.”
“Oh, well, that’s part of the experience.”
Thomas groaned, but chuckled to himself. He could imagine his father’s horror if he were still alive to see his heir meandering down the street carrying a tree to decorate. His father hadn’t liked tomfoolery or antics much.
And this would definitely be tomfoolery in his books.
They got everything back to his house and hoisted it up the stairs to the sitting room. It was a pain and there were pine needles all over the floor. Poor Mrs. Brown didn’t look too pleased that the tree was shedding all over the place.
“It looks wonderful,” Zoe said.
Thomas set it upright and Geraldine climbed out from under the tree, out of breath but still smiling. “Yes, it does look good. Do you have a tree stand so we can set it up?”
“A what?” Thomas asked.
Zoe was laughing and Geraldine looked horrified.
“A tree stand—you know, to hold the tree up so we can decorate it.”
“We have one in the attic, Your Grace. Shall I get it?” Mrs. Brown asked.
“Yes, please, Mrs. Brown, and thank you.”
Mrs. Brown nodded and hurried off to find the stand. Thomas leaned the tree against the wall, praying that it wouldn’t leak sap all over the place.
“You’ll have to water the tree,” Geraldine said.
“I have to water it?” Thomas asked. “This is becoming more of a nuisance.”
“You don’t w
ant it to dry out, Thomas,” said Zoe. “It could catch fire.”
“Catch fire?”
Geraldine and Zoe were both laughing now at his expense and he couldn’t help but laugh too.
“Next year I want one of those trees that you pop open like an umbrella and it’s all decorated for you and doesn’t shed. Low-maintenance tree.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” Geraldine asked as she began to take the ornaments out of the bag so Zoe could look at them.
“The simple things in life, Geraldine, bring me the greatest pleasure.”
She just shook her head at him.
Mrs. Brown returned with the antique tree stand and Thomas went about setting up the tree. That involved some more cursing and more jokes at his expense, but it was worth it to see Zoe really enjoying herself. To see her lit up like he hadn’t seen her in a long time.
When he’d almost lost her that night when her pacemaker had stopped working, he had been so terrified. Zoe was the only happiness he had in his life. Cassandra had brought him that joy too, for a short while, but it could never have lasted. And he would never know the loving family he had dreamed of as a kid. He lived with it and didn’t mourn what he didn’t have. Yet today with Zoe and Geraldine he felt something akin to that and he realized that maybe he’d been too hasty in his decision to never let another person in.
No. You made the right decision. It won’t always be like this.
Which was true. Zoe would go back to boarding school and eventually her mother would come home from her time in Malawi. A couple more years and Zoe would be a legal adult and making her own way in the world.
He didn’t even know what Geraldine wanted. All he knew about her was that she was completely focused on her career and didn’t seem at all interested in pursuing anything with him.
This moment would end, because that’s all that it was. Just a moment.
Geraldine began to decorate the tree and he stood off to the side, watching as Zoe handed her different ornaments and gave her suggestions on where to place them. Being around Geraldine like this caused him to let his guard down.
And it scared him that she got through to him so easily.
What was it about her?
He had to get out of there. “I need to make a couple of phone calls. You two carry on.”
Zoe frowned. “Now?”
Thomas nodded. “Yes, now, I’m afraid.”
“Oh, well, the decorating is done and I should really get back home.” Geraldine picked up her coat. “I’ll see you at work on Monday. Zoe, enjoy the rest of the movies.”
“I will, Geraldine. Thank you.”
Geraldine nodded and stopped in front of him. “Thank you for the lovely time.”
“My pleasure. I’ll see you out.”
You’re a fool, Thomas Ashwood.
He ignored that other part of him that told him to pull Geraldine into his arms and kiss her, because he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had this much fun.
Only he resisted as he opened the door for her. “Would you like me to drive you home?”
She shook her head. “No, I can take the tube back to Holland Park. See you Monday.”
Thomas watched her walk down the path and through the gate. He stepped outside so he could see her head down the darkened street, heading toward the Underground station.
A bloody fool.
CHAPTER NINE
“WILL I BE in here over Christmas?” Lord Twinsbury demanded. “I can’t be in here over the holidays.”
“I’m afraid so,” Thomas said as he finished his examination. “You’re not healing as quickly as I’d like and you’re still not ready to go home. You’ve had two open heart surgeries in the course of a couple of weeks. You need to stay in the hospital. So I’m afraid you’ll be here for Christmas.”
“Blast, I didn’t want to miss the carols from King’s College at Cambridge. It’s important I attend.”
“Understandable, but you’re staying put.”
Lord Twinsbury groaned. “You, of course, wouldn’t understand. You’re an Oxford man.”
“Oxford or Cambridge makes no difference. You’re recovering from surgery.” Thomas leaned over. “Oxford is the far superior university anyway. You should know that.”
“Young pup, if I weren’t laid up...”
Thomas cocked an eyebrow. “You’d do what? Tan my hide? I think I can outrun you.”
Lord Twinsbury huffed grumpily.
There was a knock at the door and Thomas turned to see Geraldine standing there. It had only been a couple of days, but his heart skipped a beat seeing her standing there in her business clothes and her pristine white lab coat.
“Am I interrupting?” she asked.
“Ah, now there’s a sight for sore eyes!” Lord Twinsbury exclaimed with delight.
“Lionel, you flatter me,” she said sweetly.
“Nonsense, you’re a damn sight better than the duke here,” Lord Twinsbury grumbled.
“That’s Mr. Ashwood, my lord,” Thomas corrected him.
“Can I speak with you, Mr. Ashwood, about a case?” Geraldine asked.
“Of course.” He was glad to get away from Lord Twinsbury’s complaining.
“Please come and see me afterward, my lady. Your visits make my day.”
Thomas rolled his eyes.
“I will try, Lionel.” Geraldine shut the door when Thomas was in the hall. “I’m sorry for pulling you away from your rounds, but I had a referral from a general practitioner in Aylesbury of a pregnant woman who has suffered a myocardial infarction.”
“Your mother is dead, Thomas. So is the baby. They’re gone and crying won’t bring them back.”
His father’s harsh words haunted him. It had been at that moment his father had turned his back on him. Resented him for being like her. All Thomas had wanted was the comfort of his father when his mother had died, but he’d been denied it. Instead he’d been sent to boarding school. The day his mother had died had been the day he’d really lost both of his parents.
There had never been a chance for him or his father to make things right between them. The day Zoe had been born with the atrial septal defect and had almost died, his father had tossed him out of the room.
“Haven’t you haunted me enough?”
It was almost as if his father had been blaming him for Zoe almost dying at birth. It’s why Zoe’s mother had walked away from his father and instead had became the surrogate of the parent he’d never had. His father had resented him for that too.
And they’d never had a chance to resolve anything. His father had hated him until the day he’d died, when Zoe had been ten.
At least his father had loved Zoe. That was at least something. Her life wasn’t as devoid of love as his had been.
“I’m sorry?” Thomas said. His father’s voice had drowned out Geraldine’s words. The moment she’d mentioned a pregnant patient who had suffered a myocardial infarction he’d been taken back to that terrible day long ago when his father had told him his mother wasn’t coming home.
“How is she?”
“I don’t know, other than stable. She’s in an ambulance on the way here. She’s too far along in her pregnancy to be flown in. She’s thirty-one weeks and could be on the verge of pre-eclampsia as well. They’re trying to keep the baby in there as long as possible, but I have Obstetrics on standby as well.”
“What is their plan?”
“Save the baby and then assess the mother.”
Thomas nodded. “I can have my fellow finish rounds on my surgical patients and I’ll go down to Accident and Emergency and wait for her arrival.”
“Thank you. Hopefully she won’t need extensive surgery on her heart.”
“She’ll need
a heart catheterization, that much I know. I need to see the extent of the damage, but I want to be in that operating theater to watch her vitals.”
“Yes, that’s what the obstetric team is hoping for. As she’s my patient now, I insisted on you taking care of her. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Mind? No, that’s why we’re in practice together.”
“Yes.” She glanced down at her pager. “They’ll be arriving shortly. Shall we?”
“Let’s go.”
Thomas led the way down to A and E. The obstetrics team was standing by. They were going to deliver that baby so that Thomas could take over.
Focus.
This situation wasn’t as dire as his mother’s had been. His mother’s heart attack had been fatal and his brother had been too young to survive outside the womb at twenty-one weeks. Even now, with all the technological advances, babies still rarely survived if they were born that early.
At least this patient’s baby was thirty weeks. Still premature, still a fight ahead, but the percentages on surviving were far greater than they’d been thirty-odd years ago.
The ambulance pulled up and they went to work. Geraldine met the paramedics and the general practitioner, who had ridden with his patient from Aylesbury. He was explaining the situation to Geraldine, which was good. Then he could focus on taking care of the patient’s heart as the obstetrics team dealt with the baby.
“She had another heart attack, minor, but another nonetheless on the way here. Her blood pressure is far too high to have flown her in.” Thomas heard the general practitioner say.
“We need to get this baby out of her so I can address her heart,” Thomas said above the din.
“Get her to a theater now,” Mr Jones, the obstetrician, shouted to a resident. “Have the team prepare for a crash C-section.”
Thomas took her blood pressure and it was dangerously high, the heart sounding like it was fighting to pump blood through her body. Even if they had stabilized her, the baby wouldn’t survive with the mother’s heart struggling so much.
From what he was seeing, she needed open heart surgery and she needed it now. Her heart was failing. It sounded like an enlarged heart. Cardiomyopathy.
