by Gill, Tamara
"You're not angry?" Giles asked, unsure how he could not be so. "I ceased a lifetime of friendship simply due to what my father and the ton believed to be true. I should not have. I knew you better than anyone, I should have guessed that Henry was behind your downfall."
Hugh waved his concerns aside. "Henry and my mother were to blame. Not you. Nor are you responsible for your father's reaction to the scandal that rocked my family. Sarah should understand this."
Giles had hoped that she would, but it was not so. "I should not have allowed my father to dictate my life. I lied to her, and she knows that I did. In her opinion, I chose to follow the ton, let their response, and opinions guide me away from my friendship with you both. I did not go to her after my father's death as I should have. She cannot forgive me."
Hugh sighed, leaning forward and crossing his hands on the desk. "Why did you not repair the friendship after the marquess's death?"
Giles cringed, wishing he had. "I had not seen Sarah for some years by then, and our parting did not give me the sense that she wished to know if I were alive or dead."
Disappointment lurked in Hugh's gaze, and Giles knew that particular point was his downfall. Why he could lose her. He should have gone to her immediately. Begged for forgiveness and made her remember how very much they liked each other. "I know," he groaned. "You do not have to say it. I know I buggered up."
Hugh nodded. "On that point, yes, you did, but we've all made mistakes. I more than most. I should not have allowed my family to push me from the only home I had, and yet I did. I took their financial support, moved to Rome, and started a new life. All the while, I let an innocent woman suffer in England at the hands of my brother's treatment."
Giles did not know what to say to such a declaration. Since Hugh's return, they had not discussed the scandal or outcomes of the time but had been happy to put it all behind them. Move forward, pick up the friendship where they once were, and forget the duke's brother and his mistreatment of those he was supposed to love.
"Sarah dislikes the ton and their treatment of her and me. While I understand why she's reacted in such a way, I also know that she will be thinking clearer in a couple of days. Do not give up on her, Giles. I've known that since we were boys on the brink of becoming men, there was a special bond between you two. I would like nothing more than to welcome you into our family, to become my brother. I always saw you like one, more than the actual blood brother I was saddled with."
Giles took a calming breath. The duke's comforting words went a long way in dispelling the gnawing worry he'd been plagued with ever since Sarah told him their understanding was no more.
"She does not want to marry me. How do I win her back? I have waited years to be with her. I cannot lose her now."
Hugh threw him a pitying look. Giles knew he was pitiful at this very moment, but panic threatened to seize him at the mere thought of walking away. Of hearing months or years from now that Sarah had married another. Loved another. He would not let it happen. She loved him, not anyone else. He simply had to remind her of that fact.
"Let me talk to her, Giles. As her brother and the one person she trusts most in the world, let me see if I can get her to see another point of view."
While Giles doubted it would be successful, he would try anything not to lose her. "Thank you, Hugh. I cannot thank you enough for this kindness."
Hugh stood, coming around the desk to clasp his shoulder. "While I cannot promise success, I will do all that I can. As you know, my sister can be quite stubborn with independent thought, that is hard to sway at times."
Giles chuckled, knowing how true that was. It was one of the reasons he loved her as much as he did. She was no wilting flower, his love. "She is a rare beauty." And he would win her back, losing her simply was not an option.
Chapter 16
Sarah sat in the duke and duchess’s private parlor, not for use by the other guests at the house party. She sat on the settee facing the fire, waiting for her family to join her.
She had requested they come to see her, to hear of her change of circumstance, where it regarded Giles.
The thought of him made her skin chill, and she rubbed her arms, pulling the woolen shawl about her shoulders, her light-green gown not warm enough on this cold day.
She had not seen him at breakfast this morning, had not reveled in his company, his wicked glances across the table and lively conversation.
How could he have pushed her away and discarded her when she needed him the most? His actions were unforgivable.
Molly and Hugh strode into the room. Molly came over to her, kissing her cheeks in turn, before sitting beside her. Hugh stood before the fire, warming his hands.
"Sarah, I must say that I'm pleased you asked to speak to me, for there is a matter we need to discuss."
"There is? What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?" She had not mentioned anything to anyone about her and Giles's parting ways. Had she been too sharp with one of the guests? Lady Rackliffe, perhaps, who had a way of getting under her skin.
Hugh turned, facing them, his hands clasped behind his back. Molly took Sarah's hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. "What is wrong? You're both starting to frighten me."
"Be assured there is nothing wrong, but I have spoken to Giles this morning. He has told me everything that happened between you."
Molly threw her a look full of pity, and Sarah sighed. Not wanting anyone to pity her for standing up for what she believed. If Giles truly loved her, he would have fought for her. Came to her the moment his father had passed. He did not.
"No matter what your choice, we're here for you, Sarah."
Sarah thanked her kind sister-in-law, but turned back to her brother. "He spoke to you? I hope you made it clear that his actions toward you and our family were unacceptable. Hurtful and not those of a friend. Which, I had to remind him of the fact, he was supposed to be."
Her brother's lips thinned into a displeased line. "Come, Sarah, you know it is not always as easy as that. I am proof of such, am I not? What mother and Henry forced me into was perhaps a time when I should have shown the remnants of a backbone, but I did not. An act that I will forever regret, but one that I did to save what little was left of my life. Giles kept his distance as per his father's decree. Such action may well be displeasing. It is hard to deny one's sire when they threaten you."
"He's an only child, Hugh. He could have refused, and there would be nothing the late marquess could have done. He may have lost the access to funds, but what is that when you have stood by your morals? Your friends?" People who loved you.
"That is unfair, Sarah. Not everything is so black and white. There are portions of gray in life."
"If he liked us so very much, why did he not come to see me after his father had passed? Why wait until you returned from Rome? Why not write to you and keep your friendship a secret?"
"You know why, he told you himself. While we men may pine for a woman who has captured our heart, realize that we're only living a half life when we're not with those we love," Hugh said, looking to Molly, his face softening with affection for his wife. "It does not mean we do not have pride. And Giles did write to me, Whitstone too. They never abandoned me to my exile completely.” Hugh paused, a frown between his brow. “Can you remember the last words you spoke to Giles on the night you kissed him at the London ball?"
Sarah gasped, heat blooming on her cheeks at the fact that her brother knew of her kissing Giles and their following argument.
She thought back to that night. She could still smell the freshly cut grass, the flowering roses, and the ivy prickle against her back as she tried to hide in the greenery.
"I told him I did not wish to see him again. That our friendship was at an end, and nothing would persuade me to think otherwise on the matter." She swallowed the lump that wedged in her throat. Giles had looked devastated at her words, as if she had ripped his heart out and thrown it into the gardens.
"How can you stand
it, Hugh, what the ton did to us, not Henry and Mama, but you and me? We're the ones who paid the price for their deception other than Miss Cox," she said, whispering sorry to Molly, who was the young woman's cousin. "They shunned us, talked about us, and did not hide the fact that we had fallen from a great social height. I do not care what they thought. I do not. I could let the ton go hang and not glance back, but Hugh, Giles was one of those whispers. He agreed with their views, left us alone and without friends. How can you forgive that? How do you expect me to marry such a man?"
Hugh came and sat beside her, taking her other hand. "He never spoke of us. I'm certain of that. He merely went about his own business and got on with things without us to keep his father happy. I suppose when the marquess passed, Giles thought too much time had gone by for there ever to be forgiveness between you and him. But there can be. You can be happy, Sarah, if you let the past go. Truly let it go and stop it from festering inside of you." Hugh winked at Molly, and out of Sarah's peripheral eye, she could see her sister-in-law grinning. "You can love and live as you've only dreamed. I want that for you too. You're my sister, let us not let Henry and Mama ruin our future and our past. They do not deserve the power."
Sarah sniffed, swiping her damp cheeks at her brother's wise words.
Could she forgive Giles? Did she want to have a future with him after knowing all that she did? Sarah only had to think about that fact a moment or two before realizing the truth. Yes, of course, she did. She wanted him in all ways, even if he had acted a total fool and almost lost her forever.
She stood, striding for the door.
"Where are you going?" Molly asked, standing.
Sarah wrenched the door open and stopped, turning to face her family. "To catch myself a marquess before he does something foolish once more, like ask Lady Rackliffe for her hand again, and I lose him forever."
Hugh chuckled, pulling Molly down beside him. "Close the door on your way out, sister."
Sarah rolled her eyes at her brother's wickedness with his wife, only too glad not to be privy to their love. They were worse than anyone she'd ever met, and she too wanted the same.
With Giles.
Chapter 17
Giles stood looking out his bedroom window, watching as the carriage came around from the stable. Behind him, his valet packed his belongings in his trunks. A maid came out from the house's front door, handing warming bricks to his driver, who placed them on the carriage floor.
It would be a cold trip back to London, but it was one he must take. He could not stay here any longer, not with Sarah wishing for him to leave.
He clutched the back of his neck, rolling his shoulders to dispel the tension that plagued him after their last words. He had tried to make her see his position, right or wrong, he had obeyed his sire and, to his detriment, had lost Sarah in the process.
That they could be together now caused frustration and impatience to run through his veins. If only she put the past behind her, stopped allowing others' actions to guide their lives, they could be happy together. Have a life, a marriage.
"Excuse me, my lord. We're all packed. I shall have the trunks carried down and will meet you at the carriage."
"Thank you, John," Giles said, turning from the window, unwilling to leave the Abbey without one last chance of winning Sarah's trust and love.
He beat his valet out of the room, striding toward Sarah's bedroom door when he spotted her all but running down the corridor. His steps slowed, and he schooled his features, unsure of what, if anything, seeing her running in the direction of his room meant.
He stopped, bowed. "Lady Sarah." His eyes devoured every morsel of her, her fitting, complementary gown that showed off her figure to its full advantage. A body he had savored, enjoyed, and worshiped only two nights before. The light-green muslin with pretty darker-green flowers embroidered on it, making her eyes seem fiercely olive.
"Giles," she breathed, fighting to catch her breath.
That she used his given name and not his title sent a frisson of hope to course through his blood. Had she changed her mind? Had Hugh talked her ’round to forgive him? Or was she merely coming to ensure he did, in fact, leave?
Two footmen entered his room behind him, and within a moment, walked out into the passage, carrying one of his trunks.
Her face fell, along with her shoulders. "You're leaving?"
He nodded. "I think it is best, yes."
She watched him a moment, and he could see she was choosing her words carefully. He wanted to take her into his arms, pull her close, and tell her that he was sorry. That he'd never meant to hurt her. That he was simply obeying a father that he never wished to disappoint.
Sarah clamped her hands before her, raising her chin. "We need to talk." She clasped his hand, pulling him down the hall and toward where the picture gallery ran. He'd not been in this part of the house for many years, and following Sarah as quick as he was, didn't allow him to take in the most recent painting of her that Hugh had commissioned.
They stopped at the end of the long hall, the bank of windows overlooking the side of the house's gardens, allowing light to flood the space.
Giles looked back to where they had come from and noted how very alone they were in this part of the house.
"I do not want you to leave, Giles." She stepped against him until the hem of her gown slipped across his hessian boots. "I was wrong to judge you as harshly as I did. While I will not forget or forgive what society did to my brother and myself, I will forgive you. I love you, and I'm sorry for blaming you for all my anger. I will never do so again."
Giles reached for her, pulling her against him, breathing deep the sweet smell of berries from her hair. "You have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one who is sorry, Sarah. I should have declared to my father that I would be friends and love whomever I pleased. Love whomever I wanted. It was one of the reasons why I was so angry with you the night you kissed me. I knew the moment I had you in my arms that we would never be. That through my foolishness, allowing others to dictate my actions and life that the one woman I did want beside me for the rest of my life would not be you. I had offered to Edith, and it was too late. I lashed out, blamed you for my own failings. Please forgive me."
Sarah reached up, running her hands over his jaw. Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and he wiped them away with his thumbs when they fell. "No tears. No more looking back. Walk beside me now, into our future. Will you marry me, please? I cannot live another day without you in my life." Never had he ever said anything so true or had wanted anything so desperately in his life.
She was his everything, and from this day forward, if she said yes, his sole purpose in life was making her incandescently happy.
"I will marry you, yes. Now please tell me you will stay. I cannot be without a dance partner for the Christmas ball."
"Wild horses could not drag me away from you." Giles leaned down, stealing a kiss, reveling in the feel of her again in his arms.
He did not let her go for a very long time...
Epilogue
They were married Christmas morning under a steady fall of snow. The small church that sat on the St. Albans estate was full of local gentry and those who stayed at the Abbey for the Christmas festivities. The ball that night a time to celebrate the nuptials of Sarah and Giles and Yuletide.
She stood beside Giles, her arm wrapped about his as they watched some of the guests take part in a waltz.
Warmth blossomed in her chest, and Sarah was sure her heart might burst with happiness at being married to her one and only love. She glanced up at him, caught him watching her, and her stomach flipped deliciously.
"You look like you're scheming something, my lord."
He chuckled, a deep rumble that spiked her need of him. It had been so very long since they had come together, Giles wishing to wait until they were married, and Sarah had to admit she was well past ready to have him in her bed once again.
"I'm simply happy." He paused, leaning
down to whisper in her ear, "And looking forward to having you in my bed this evening."
Heat bloomed on her cheeks, and she could not stop a grin from forming on her lips. "Maybe we could slip away? No one will pay any heed to us, leaving early. I should think it would be expected."
A wicked light entered his eye, and he took her hand, pulling her along through the guests as they made their way out a side door that would take them toward the back of the house and near the servant's stairs.
Instead of going up the stairs, however, Giles turned them down a small passage. He moved them toward the conservatory and one of Sarah's favorite places at the estate.
The smell of summer bombarded her senses, roses and foliage of earth along with the trickle of water from the large, circular fountain.
The room was warmer than other parts of the house, as it had a constant source of heat from the two large fires that burned beside the wide glass doors leading into the room during winter.
Giles shut the doors, the snip of the lock echoing about the space.
Sarah turned and watched as he gestured to the space. "The first night that you kissed me in London was warm, and although we cannot sneak outside and kiss against the ivy, I can kiss you properly here, in a room reminiscent of that time."
Her heart lurched, and she went to him, wrapping her arms about his neck. "A new beginning, since you made such a mess of things ten years ago," she teased, chuckling.
Giles growled, hoisting her up against his side. "Kiss me, Sarah, and see if you're rid of me."
Sarah did as he asked, and finally, the marquess was hers, and in no way would she lose him again.
"Merry Christmas, my love," he said, pulling but a breath away from her.
Tears welled in her eyes at how happy she was. How happy he made her feel. "Merry Christmas."
