by Lexy Timms
She smirked and picked up her wine, taking a small sip before shaking her head. "No dance lessons for me. I have enough to keep my plate full, and none of the items are donuts or chips nowadays."
It was his turn to chuckle. The deep timbre of his laughter was enjoyable, and she found herself relaxing even more in his presence. Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy. The mixed vibes that she'd gotten from him were frustrating. Alex couldn't stand him, but it would seem that her illustrious boss wasn't too fond of too many people.
"Well, I wanted to be a fireman when I was a boy. My parents weren't too thrilled by my decision, and pulled the rug out from under me when I was five years. They made sure I went to college, which I’ve told you about, and what I forgot to mention was that if I wanted to inherit their wealth, I needed to put my dreams on the shelf and start focusing on investments and business."
The information was a bit of a shock. Nicholas a fireman? No wonder he appeared to be in such great shape.
"And you gave it all up?" Jamie asked. “Those five-year-old fireman dreams?”
He chuckled. "Kind of. I volunteer at a firehouse, but I'm an only child. My parents needed to know that I supported the continuation of their investment firm. I get the best of both worlds now, but it’s rather time-consuming, which leaves me where I am now."
"Which is?"
"Alone." He gave her a sad smile. "It's a choice I made by putting my career in front of the possibility of family, but now I'm wishing I had chosen differently."
The server arrived with perfect timing to take their order. Jamie had no clue what she was going to say to him. He should have been married and a father by now, or so society would say, but he wasn't. Dating sucked royally, and she wasn't sure if she even knew of anyone she could set him up with. Was that what he really wanted? Help finding someone? Surely not.
"Anyway," he started again, “I’m going to shift my focus completely now. It's time to find someone to share all of this stuff with."
"I'm not sure it's your stuff that a woman would be interested in," Jamie offered.
"No? What would a woman be interested in? If you were the center of my attention, and I was hell-bent on getting you to say yes to a life with me, what would you want?"
Her shoulders tightened at the turn in the conversation. "Hypothetically?"
"Of course. I know you're with Alex."
Was she? Not really.
"I would want someone to love me, to accept me, hold me accountable, and support me in the different areas of life that we would walk through together." She pursed her lips and glanced down at her hands. "I think having a partner in all things is at the top of my list." And sex. I would like a fucking lot of it.
"I couldn't have said it better myself. You sure Alex is the one for you?" He winked as they shared a laugh.
Nicholas was nice, handsome, and incredibly charming. If things didn't work out with Alex, she wasn't quite so sure that another date wouldn't be in order.
Chapter 12
Her alarm woke her the next day, which was a bit of a downer seeing as how it was the weekend. With only two days to sleep in, she was annoyed she had lost one. Good thing she liked Alex’s brother, Mark. The e-mail from Alex late last night had been quick and informal: ‘Pick Mark up for me? I'm tied up in the morning.’
He better have meant tied up due to business and not something sexual with Annette. The thought caused her stomach to turn. She had to have resolution soon on things with him or she might go bat-shit crazy. It was starting to feel more and more probable. She had hoped it was all a bad dream and she’d wake in morning and have a laugh over it. Guess that wasn’t going to happen.
The drive to the airport went quick, and she found Mark standing with his bag just outside the departures pickup for his airline. She waved, and he smiled, getting in and slipping his bag between his legs in the front seat.
"I wasn't sure if you or Alex were coming, but if I was a betting man..."
"Right? It's far too early to get up on a weekend, though. Next time I won’t pick you up unless you get a mid-day flight." She frowned, trying to sound grumpy, but it wasn’t working very well.
"And miss lunch in New York? You crazy?" he chuckled and leaned back. "I love this place. It's so full of life."
"Then move here after the divorce is over. I'm sure there are plenty of job opportunities here." She glanced over at him and gave him a smile. He was a handsome guy, with welcoming features and a great smile. Where he was cute, Alex was gorgeous. Some of the jealousy in their younger years had to come from that if nothing else.
"I might actually." He glanced out the window. "When is Alex going to be free?"
"Later this afternoon, I believe." She honked as someone pulled out in front of her, but stopped herself from yelling something highly inappropriate.
"No worries. If you're busy, then I can just hang out in the city and get a cab back to Alex's place. I really want a slice of pizza at the little deli on Fifth Avenue."
"Oh, I love that place." She turned the radio down, trying to think through the agenda for the day. Realistically, she didn’t have anything mandatory. "Do you want to walk around the shopping district and then grab lunch?"
"That works for me, but please don't let me take your day away from you. I know you’ve very little time off, or so I assume. My brother works himself into a coma. I hope he doesn't expect that of you." Mark turned his attention on to her.
"Not really. I love my job. Your brother’s a good boss, very encouraging, and has no trouble covering overtime." She grinned. Her version of overtime was probably different than Gina’s or Paul’s.
"Too bad he sucks ass as a boyfriend." He lifted his hand to point out to the left. "Right over there. I see a parking spot. I've got a bunch of quarters we can use."
"Excellent." Jamie pulled in to the spot, and failed to comment on Alex's effectiveness as a boyfriend. He was an incredible lover, but sharing that with Mark felt a little too private. Hell, she wouldn't share that with Gina… or anyone else for that matter.
They got out and Mark pulled his light jacket off.
"Late spring, early summer is so fantastic here! Chilly enough to stay cool, and yet warm enough to not have to bundle up." He breathed deeply as a large smile lifted his lips. "Paula hates New York. She says it's too busy."
"She's right, but I love the craziness. You can get lost in the busy, and eventually find yourself somewhere along the way. It's the right place for me." She pointed to a small coffee shop. "Let's stop there for a minute. I haven't had my caffeine fix for the day yet."
"That's a travesty. Let's get you a cup." Mark held the door as she walked in beside him.
Jamie breathed deeply as memories of enjoying cups of overly-creamed cups of coffee with her dad swept through her head.
"My family never really got into coffee. I enjoy a good cup every so often, but I'm glad I don't have an addiction to the stuff like some people do. Alex probably loves it." Mark moved up to the counter and tilted his head, as if studying the menu.
"I adore it. I'm definitely one of the addicts." They chuckled and then Jamie ordered and moved to find a small two-person table.
Mark brought the drinks over and sat across from her. "I should apologize."
The earnest look on his face gave her pause. "For what?"
"My brother was always really possessive over his girlfriends in high school. In the past, I tried hard not to be seen with them or really interact too much at all. It just saved us a handful of fights, and with a million other things to fight about, girls didn't need to be added to the list."
"Oh, shit." Jamie pressed her hand to her forehead. "Did he get all over you about us talking?"
"Yeah, but I should have known better." He shrugged and took a sip of his coffee.
"I wish I could say that I understand, but I don't. My sister married my ex, and even though it's weird as all get out, I still wouldn't chew her out for talking to Alex. It's a trust issue more than anythin
g else." Jamie sat back and crossed her legs. "I'm not sure it's going to matter for much longer anyway."
"What? Why is that?" True concern brushed across Mark's features, making her like him all the more.
"Because he has some shit going on in his life, and I guess he thinks that pushing me away is the best choice right now." She shrugged, and forced down the hard emotions that accompanied the conversation. "I'm just going to be as supportive as I can until he figures out what he wants."
"You're being horribly cryptic," he smirked.
"I know, right? I just feel like it should be his news to share with you. Hopefully that's okay."
"Yeah. Just shows what a classy lady you are. I hope you guys move past this. I know Alex and I have our differences and a bit of a bumpy past, but he's still my older brother. I want what's best for him, and I'm pretty damn sure that that's you."
"I hope so too." She took a long drink of her coffee as her heart contracted painfully. She could come up with a plan for what life needed to look like if Alex turned away, but it was just a plan. It wasn't the reality she wanted for them. They hadn't professed their love for each other, but it was on the tip of her tongue.
Whether she would get a chance to ever tell him or not was another story.
“How about we walk?”
He nodded, and stood without saying a word.
They walked around chatting about life in general as they walked the streets of New York, and then enjoyed causal conversation and two slices of pizza at the little parlor Mark was dying to go to. After forcing an ice cream down, they drove back to Alex's house. Mark turned the radio station to country music and started belting out the melody in an extremely decent singing voice.
Alex's Mercedes was in the driveway as they pulled up.
"This guy has more vehicles than a car lot. I have no clue what you do with that many cars." Mark rolled his eyes and got out of Jamie’s little beater.
"No clue, but I know he loves them. I guess if you find a few things you truly enjoy, and you work hard for your money, then you should be able to spend it as you see fit." She moved up beside Mark as nervousness swelled in her belly.
Things hadn't ended too well with Alex the day before, which left her at a disadvantage as far as knowing what to expect. As long as he didn't blow up on Mark, they would be good. He had a tendency to be a total ass to those he was closest to when something was wrong.
Good thing to remember. You really want a man who blows up on you because he's upset with someone else?
She discarded the thought as soon as she had it. Everyone did that, including her.
"Alex?" Mark called out as they walked through the front door.
"In the back."
"He's on the patio. I'm going to use the powder room and then I'll join you guys."
"Alright. I'll get him to sign this shit so that we have it out of the way." Mark smiled at her, pausing. "Hey... thanks for today. Best fun I've had in years. Just felt good."
She nodded. "It was fun. Thanks for letting me tag along."
He laughed. “I think I was the one tagging along.
Turning, she walked to her apartment and tried to shake off the feeling that her time with Mark would come back to bite her. Alex was the jealous type, which was perfectly fine and even a little flattering, but he was the one who’d sent her to get Mark. It wasn't fair for him to set up the encounter and then get raging pissed because she and Mark had fun in each other's company.
She washed her hands and checked herself in the mirror, noticing that her face looked a little fuller than it should.
"Probably the ice cream, donuts, and pizza. Life's not been too kind lately," she growled and turned the light off, not wanting to add any more issues for the moment. Hanging out with Alex and Mark would be enough for the night.
She walked out onto the patio, in the middle of the guys talking about Annette from what Jamie could tell. She took the seat closest to Alex and smiled kindly as he glanced over at her.
"Right, so why she decided to wait this long to say something just seems ridiculous. I've been with Jamie for six or seven weeks now. The bitch had to know that she was pregnant before now. Why wait?" The vein in the side of Alex’s neck was bulging.
"Because she's lying, or it's not yours. There would be no other reason for it. Is she in love with you?" Mark asked just before his eyes shifted to Jamie. There was a hint of sympathy in his gaze, and she was grateful for it.
"I don't know if she loves me. I don't care." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I just want to do what’s right. You know?"
Alex glanced at her, as if trying to get her to agree with his stance on the situation. The neediness in his gaze sliced through her, and the heavy emotion that she'd pushed down began to bubble up. She didn't mind the child being part of the scenario, but losing someone who felt very much like her forever was too much.
"Get her to take a pregnancy test, Alex. With who you are, I’d demand a pregnancy and paternity test. The whole thing. Don’t change your whole fucking life over this chick if you don't even know that the baby is yours. Be smart about this. It's not just you involved." Mark sat forward, the intensity on his face almost scary.
It was nice to see someone fight part of the fight for her, but why wasn't Alex doing it? Why wasn't she considered in his decision? He seemed to have put her on a shelf and moved forward, trying to figure out what to do as if it were just him. Jamie inhaled deeply. Why was she blaming him? The guy was trying to step up to the plate. She had to respect that.
"I realize that, but this is my life. It's my decision, and being a good dad is more important than anything to me. You have to understand that." Alex turned his attention back to his brother.
Jamie stood and walked toward the edge of the patio. "I'll see you guys later. I'm going for a run and all that good stuff."
"Jamie... stay with us." Alex stood.
"Yeah. Let's make dinner and hang out." Mark turned. The sympathy in his gaze was too much.
"No thanks. I'll see you both tomorrow." She turned and jogged toward her place as tears slid over the rims of her eyelids, burning a trail down her cheeks.
Alex's decision not only changed their relationship, but everything in her life. It annoyed her that she wasn't even asked her opinion in the matter. It was his future and possibly his choice. He claimed he wanted to love her, but, realistically, she worked for him and they’d only been seeing each other for about a month, with another month of random sex acts. Commitment wasn’t required. His excluding her now hurt, but it might make it easier in the long run. Maybe they weren’t meant to be together.
They had a crazy-strong sexual attraction, but was that all there was to it? If the layers were stripped away, Jamie was afraid of what she might find.
Chapter 13
She ran hard, pushing herself and cranking her iPod to drown out her thoughts. The run did her good, and by the time she settled on to her couch, her worries were tucked away behind weariness. She’d showered and just put on stuff to sleep in.
A knock at the door interrupted her aimless channel-surfing through the Apple TV for a movie.
Alex. She checked the keyhole to make sure Mark wasn’t with him. He was alone. She opened the door. “Hey.”
"You got a few minutes?" His eyes moved down the length of her, leaving chill bumps in their wake. He was in a t-shirt and jeans that fit almost too well. His hair was a bit of a mess from running his fingers through it. He was beautiful. Breathtaking.
Her nipples budded immediately and her body tightened with the promise of what he was capable of, but by the look on his face, 'talking' didn't mean 'making out'. She almost wished sex would obliterate her thoughts and the ache in her heart.
"Yeah, sure." She turned and walked back into the living room as he closed the door. A large blanket was on the edge of the couch, and she pulled it over her as she sat down. Her white tank top and boy shorts showed a little too much skin for the conversation that was apparent
ly headed her way.
He sat down in the chair next to the couch and pressed his forearms to his legs. "Firstly, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you my PA back at my dad's place. I was caught off-guard, and I want you to know that I meant nothing negative about it at all. I'm an idiot like most guys at times. Forgive me."
"Already done." She shrugged and pulled her knees up, tucking the blanket around her as she watched him closely.
"The situation with Annette is fucking me up."
She pressed her lips together. Should she say what she really thought, or sugarcoat it for him? Fuck it. "I get that, but what I don't see is why it has to tear the two of us apart. You don’t have to marry Annette or be with her to be a father. That’s the feeling I’m getting from you, and that’s what I'm wrestling with. Why tell me, but not ask how I feel? I feel like we’re going somewhere but then I feel like I’m just the girl you’re fucking who happens to work for you." Jamie swallowed the hot ball of anger that rose inside of her. She wanted to keep things calm between them.
"It's not a fling. We are not a fling or just a casual fuck. Jamie, I care about you. I'm completely lost to you, but I need to figure this shit out. You have to understand that. Respect that. I'm not used to having to consult anyone on anything. I've been alone for a long time." He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Do you still have feelings for Annette?" She wished she could take the words back as soon as she said them. What if he said he did?
"No, but I want to do right by this kid."
"If there is a kid. If it’s yours. That's a lot of ifs to be putting us in this awkward situation. Let's not even throw in the fact that you've accused me multiple times of having feelings for your younger brother." She lifted her eyebrow sharply. "I've been nice to him to make up for you not being kind at all."
"I have reasons for that, Jamie; stop bringing it up like I'm the villain. I'm not."
"I'm aware of that, but…” She blew out a hot breath and forced herself to calm down. “How about instead of jumping to another topic that's slowly strangling out our relationship, we stick to the one that’s destroying it. Both of us."
