by Tracy Gray
“And that’s just the inside.” Brandon commented. “Outside, it needs landscaping, tuckpointing…” His thought trailed off.
“Don’t get overwhelmed.” I cautioned the brothers. “That’s why we’re here. Whatever it needs, we got it. We’ll do it. You’ll get exactly what you’re looking for.”
“Right. That’s the benefit of hiring family. Let’s see the upstairs.” River suggested, as she headed towards the staircase, Ayla, Trinity, Brandon, and Busy behind her.
I gently touched Xavier’s wrist, before he could fall into line behind them. “I wanna see the kitchen, Riv. We’ll meet back down here.” I told her.
Xavier took me into Miss Vera’s kitchen. It was newer.
“Busy had this redone for her.” I remembered, both Xavier and I were still in high school. “What year was that, again?” I asked him.
“His second year in the league. When he got his first endorsement deal. Grandma wouldn’t let him buy her a new house, so he got her kitchen redone for her.”
“So, like, eight years ago?” I jotted that down in my notes.
“About last night.”
Slowly, I brought my eyes up from my notebook and over to his. “What about it?”
“I don’t know, Raye. I thought I felt a...vibe.”
Xavier liked to call me Raye.
“Oh yeah?” I raised a solitary eyebrow.
“Yeah.” His large, oversized body was propped against the granite island. “And not the one I would’ve expected to feel.”
“What vibe would you have expected to feel, X?”
Shrugging his shoulders, he gave me a small smile. “Anger.”
A heavy sigh escaped my lips. “I’ve been mad...and sad for sooooo long now. So many years. Yesterday was a vibe, and I just wanted to flow with it, X. To flow in a place of...not anger or sadness. Plus,” the sound of voices floated towards us, alerting me that the others were headed our way.
He watched me expectantly, but I shook my head. I wasn’t prepared to speak in front of the group.
“Plus, what?”
The group lumbered into the kitchen.
“Upstairs, the bedrooms are basically cosmetic.” River told me. “But I’m sure you’ll get a chance to look around up there. Bathrooms are a total gut. What are you thinking about the kitchen?”
“New countertops for sure, the cabinetry is top notch, though. Good job, Busy.” I shot him a wink. “I think we can just paint it out, white, of course.”
“Of course.” River agreed with a smirk. She knew I was a fiend for all things white, when it came to design.
“The flooring is good, but the layout. I’d like to see if we could rework it.” I turned to River’s assistant. “Ayla, can you get some measurements in here for me?”
“Sure thing.”
I included all three Mayhew brothers in my smile. “So, it seems like the majority of your undertaking is cosmetic.”
“Let’s talk money, then.” Brandon said.
“Too soon.” River advised him. “There’s still things we have to do.”
The group followed River out of the room, leaving me alone in the kitchen with Xavier, and Ayla, who I was pretty sure had half of her attention on measuring, and the other half on Xavier and me.
“Plus, what?” He asked, trying to circle back around to the conversation I dropped when River and crew entered the kitchen.
“Plus, it seems like you’ve been sad and angry all of this time, too. Like, all of this time I felt like I was sad, and angry, and hurt - while you were off parlaying with your hoes.”
“Instagram?”
“Yeah. Instagram, Xavier.”
“Never believe anything you see on Instagram, Ma. The vast majority of that stuff is for perception purposes only. I’ve definitely been mad, and sad, and hurting. I’ve definitely been...fucked up.”
I closed my eyes tightly against the onslaught of thoughts, feelings and emotions that tried to overcome me.
My twin, seeming to have read my mind, appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. “We should head back to the office and do the work-up on some figures.” Rolling her eyes playfully, she continued. “Brandon keeps sweating me about costs.”
“You damn right.” He agreed. “I know how y’all designers like to mark shit up, and…”
“Kinda the same way you attorneys do?” Trinity teased.
“Whatever.” Brandon waved her off. “You can’t put a price on intellectual property.”
“Exactly, and what we know about design is our intellectual property, just like what you know about law is yours.” River told him.
Since Brandon argued competitively for a living, I interjected before it could turn into a back-and-forth thing.
“Let’s plan to meet back here around,” I checked my watch. It was after 11:00am. “2:30.”
“Was I the only one that wanted X to snatch Reign up and kiss her? That was just too much sexual tension for me.” River said as she, Trinity, Ayla and I sat around the table in our conference room crunching numbers, while waiting for our lunch to arrive.
“No, you were not the only one.” Trinity assured her. “I want them to have sex. I can’t take all this, will she...won’t she.” She turned her gaze to me. “You’re getting back with dude. I don’t wanna hear nothing else about it. It’s a done deal. A wrap. Y’all are getting back together.”
“You’d better get back with him, cuz I low-key have a crush on him, and if you keep sleeping, I might be forced to shoot my shot.” Ayla told me.
“And I might be forced to whoop your ass.” Came from somebody in the room. I looked around to see who had said it, and three pairs of eyes were looking at me.
“Tell us how you really feel.” Trinity joked.
I slapped my hand over my mouth. “I didn’t mean to say that.”
River shook her head. “Yes, you did. Your mouth was moving before your brain could catch up, and you said exactly what you were thinking. You’re jealous over Ayla theoretically shooting her shot at X.”
“I’m not.” I insisted. “I’m really not. I don’t even know where that came from. Ayla, you are welcome to do anything you want with Xavier, including but not limited to shooting your shot.”
“Don’t do it, girl.” Trinity told Ayla. “That’s what she’s saying now, but she don’t mean it. You’ll mess around and get cut.”
“You don’t mean it.” Ayla's words were directed at me. “I was in the room with the two of you, and the energy in there was...hella thick.”
“How did it feel, being alone with him?”
I rolled my eyes at River. “Normal. I don’t know. Familiar? I don’t know what you expect me to say.”
River narrowed her eyes at me. “Okay, my sister’s getting defensive, which means we should drop it, and work on these estimations for the Mayhew project.”
Trinity started throwing out names of trade-guys that we should contact and I exhaled, releasing the breath that I didn’t even realize I was holding.
After lunch, Ayla moved around the conference table helping me clean up the take-out containers and other garbage from the mess we’d made.
“Reign,” she said quietly, “I hope you know I was just joking when I said I wanted to shoot my shot with Xavier.”
I waved her off dismissively. “Girl, I know. And I hope my response to your joke won’t make things awkward between us, my comment was totally unprofessional.”
She grinned at me. “You didn’t hurt my feelings. I would’ve said the exact same thing, and been ready to back up those words if somebody came for my man.”
“Ayla, you know that X isn’t my man.”
“Reign, with all due respect, I was in the room when you two were in there talking. He may not be your man right now, but Xavier Mayhew is in love with you. From where I’m standing, his energy is all about you. I hope you guys are able to work it out.”
Shrugging, I looked down making sure to keep my eyes focused on the table top.
The voice came from behind me. “This is gonna sound arrogant as hell, but you look like you’re thinking about me.”
Against my better judgement, I turned around and faced him. “It does sound arrogant, but I was.” I admitted. “I was thinking about how you’re back on the scene, looking all the same, and trying to sell me on the fact that you’re different.”
He sighed heavily. “I’m so different, Reign, but very much the same.”
We just stood there staring at each other.
“Damn.” He shook his head. “I wanna kiss you so bad right now. I just wanna taste your lips, your mouth, because I know they taste the same, know it’ll be the same, and I want to feel those feelings that I used to feel with you again.”
“Please don’t.” I basically whispered, unable to tear my gaze away from his lips.
“What if I can’t help myself?” He brought his face closer to mine, slowly, giving me a chance to move, pull away, deny him his desire.
Instead, I stood there motionless, waiting for the inevitable, already imagining how sweet it would be.
Xavier’s mouth took mine so slowly. He pulled my bottom lip into his mouth and sucked so gently before sweeping his tongue across my lips and encouraging me to open wide for him. I did, accepting his tongue into my mouth. Every nerve ending in my body stood at attention on high alert. I felt him bring his arms up from his side, wrap them around me and pull my body to his. Involuntarily, I went up on my tip toes, while he bent down to meet me. My arms snaked around his shoulders, as they had so many times before, my fingers rubbing along the nape of his neck.
His tongue explored my mouth while his hands reintroduced themselves to my ass. I moaned in response, loving the taste of him, the feel of him. He plunged his tongue into my mouth, kissing me as if he wouldn’t get another chance. I accepted his passion, and returned it with desire of my own. The need for oxygen brought me out of my Xavier-induced haze, and I pulled away from him.
“Damn, that was sexy as hell!” Came River’s voice from the entryway of the room. “Am I the only one who needs a cigarette, right now?”
I looked up at Xavier, flustered. “Uh, give me a minute.” I told him and fled, racing towards the powder room.
I was barely in there ten seconds, when I heard a knock at the door. I knew it could only be one of two people, River or Xavier. I opened the door. Xavier slipped past, joining me in the small space.
“Yo, I lost my head back there. I apologize for that.” He paused. “Not that I’m sorry that we kissed. I’m not sorry about that, but I am sorry that I kinda bulldozed you. I just want you so bad, and now you’re here, in my space. Not gonna lie, Reign...I kinda don’t know what to do with myself.”
“You didn’t bulldoze me. I knew you were about to kiss me, and clearly I was there for it, because I stood there and let it happen. This,” I gestured between the two of us, “is a lot. It’s been like, a few hours, and already I’m having a hard time handling it.” I didn’t see any reason to lie to him, he always knew when I was lying, anyway.
“You’re still pissed at me.” It was a statement, not a question.
I looked up at him. At 6’5, Xavier made my 5’5 feel miniscule. His beautiful brown eyes were trained on me, pinning me where I stood. “I’m feeling...double-minded.”
He grinned at me and his gorgeous face lit up. Xavier had the best smile in the world with those suckable, juicy lips, perfectly white teeth, and panty dropping dimples. “Well, go with the mind that’s telling you to give me a second chance.”
“Give myself to you again, X? Let myself get wrapped up in you again, after the way you fumbled my heart like a bad pass?”
“I wear ultra-stick gloves, now. Haven’t fumbled in years.”
I just stared at him.
He picked me up and sat me on the counter, so that we were almost eye to eye. I knew that I was at least 20 pounds heavier than I was the last time he picked me up. But hell, he had built at least 50 pounds of muscle since then, so I figured that it evened out.
“This is no excuse for what happened, Raye. What I allowed to happen. I was just...mortified, embarrassed as fuck by the thoughts that my grandmother put in my head. The thought that I was holding you back - that I kept you plastered to me...because I wasn’t shit without you holding me down. I wasn’t shit without you.”
It was hard for me to resist Xavier on GP, but it was especially difficult for me to resist him when he was being so sincere. I ran my hand over his cheek, relishing the feel of his beard against my fingers. The last time I’d touched him like that, he didn’t have a full beard. He was clean shaven then. He also didn’t have the locs that he was currently sporting.
He kept talking. “I kept thinking about all the times your dad came at me, the shit he used to say. I wondered if that was how he saw me...why he hated me so much - because he knew I wasn’t shit, and I was dragging his baby girl down to my level. I wondered if that was why he wanted me away from you so damn badly. Then, I left for training camp, and just tried to bury everything. The feelings. The insecurities. The shame. The way I hated myself. The way I felt like shit, because my father dropped me off at my grandmother’s house when I was three years old, and never fucking looked back. And you were a dream come true for a nigga like me, Reign. Your dad is this larger than life pastor of a megachurch, who was raising you to be his princess and the heir to his throne. I wasn’t worthy of that. And I knew, I always knew that you were too good for me. I was just hoping that you wouldn’t figure it out.”
Oh my God. Oh my God. I thought to myself, as the realization of the mind-fuck he’d been through really hit me. A dull pain gripped me throughout the entirety of the middle of my body. Not just in my heart, but in my chest, and in my stomach.
He caught my hand as it gently caressed his left cheek, brought it to his mouth, and kissed me in the middle of my palm. Cocking his head to the side, he broke the silence. “That shit played on a loop in my mind. So, I stayed away. I tried to give the right nigga an opportunity to find you. Give you the opportunity to find somebody who was deserving of you. Somebody whose head and life wasn’t fucked up.”
I wrapped my legs around his waist, forcing him closer to me. Snaking my arms around his neck, I buried my face in his chest and held him, trying my damndest not to cry.
Xavier
5
A firm knock on the door interrupted the moment. “I understand that there’s all manner of deep conversation that y’all need to have, but we also have a lot of work to do.” River’s voice came through the closed door.
I wiped at the tears on Reign’s cheeks, the ones I knew she fought to contain, but couldn’t. I kissed her on the lips, then backed away from her. I watched her as I opened the door for her sister. She seemed like she was pulling herself together, so I exited the bathroom.
I found myself at the dining room table with Trinity. I slid into the chair next to hers. She ignored me for a few seconds, typing furiously into the phone. Just when my mind started to drift to thoughts of Reign, I felt a nudge on my arm. When I looked over, Trinity was smiling at me.
“She kissed you, X.”
I knew I was cheesing my ass off, but I couldn’t wipe the s
mile from my face. “She did.” It had been three long years since I’d last connected with her on that level. Hell, on any level. It felt good to be home.
Or almost home.
Or possibly home.
“And I got a picture of it.” she sang, showing me her phone.
I grabbed her wrist, holding the phone steady while I looked at the picture. You couldn’t make out the faces, but the kiss did look hot as hell. “You posted it on your Twitter?”
“And my IG, and I tagged you...but not her.”
I grabbed my phone, pulled up my Twitter and couldn’t help chuckling at the caption. #[email protected] #WhosThatGirl
“She’s gonna kill you.” I said, shaking my head. “Send it to me.”
She shrugged her shoulders as she sent the picture to my phone. “I Stan for love. I’m saying, if you get your girl back, you gotta promise to introduce me to one of your guys out in Portland.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Say word.”
“I’m for real.”
“You know these NFL niggas ain’t serious, Trin. They’re gonna be looking for the hit.”
“Awwww.” She pinched my cheek. “You’re so cute, X. I’m looking for the hit, Nigga. Ain’t nobody looking to get locked down, having some dude tryna meet my daughter and stuff. I’m just trying to have my life ruined...thousands of miles away from home.”
“Yo, I’m not in the matchmaking business.”
She sighed heavily in annoyance. “And after I just looked out for you, posting that sexy ass picture on social media. Just introduce me to somebody. I don’t know. Just get ‘em there, and I’ll do the rest with my womanly wiles and shit.”
We both laughed.
“Seriously, I just wanna have a little fun. I love Kennedy to pieces, but sometimes I feel like having her so young, aged me by about ten years. Very rarely do I get to feel 25, or live a 25 year old life. Pick somebody that likes to have fun and has a good personality...and a banging ass body. I promise you, I’ll do the rest.”
