by Tracy Gray
“Nobody’s but Reign’s.” He quipped, and I struggled to keep my face from showing the surprise that I felt, while both of my parents beamed at him. “How are you, Mrs. Champion?”
“I’m great, Baby. Really great.” She leaned in and hugged him tightly.
“Pastor Champion?” Xavier held his hand out to my dad.
“Xavier. You’re looking good, Son. I watched you last season. You did some big things. AP Offensive Player of the Year. Congratulations.” My dad pumped his hand up and down.
Xavier blushed a little. “Thank you. Thank you.”
“Reign, you’re gorgeous, as always.” He said to me.
I grinned at him, then leaned in for a quick hug. “Thank you, Daddy.”
He studied me. “You look happy. You’re glowing.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Well, look who decided to grace us with their presence today.” The voice said from behind my father, heading straight towards us.
My eyes met my grandmother’s and I would’ve sworn that she sneered at me.
“The prodigal daughter has returned, and with her...friend in tow.” She continued.
“Yes.” My mother said easily. “And we’re glad to have them.”
We stood there awkwardly for a few seconds, until Auntie Bo walked up, strutting in her hot pink blazer and skirt set, with a smile as wide as Lake Michigan.
“I felt an unction in my spirit this morning that something special was gonna happen, and here it is. My Reign bow, and my Baby, both in the house of the Lord this morning.” She turned to my father. “Joseph, you must be beside yourself right now.”
He nodded vigorously, and looked over at me with pride and love. “I am, Bo. I surely am.”
“Bonita.” My grandmother greeted through gritted teeth.
“Priscilla, how are you this morning? You look like you have something on your mind. Did you need to speak with the pastor?”
“I’m fine. And yes, I did need to speak to the pastor.” She said.
“Well, don’t let us hold you. Baby, you and Reign need to come by my house. I’m putting together a late lunch/dinner thingy today. I’ve got DJ B. Goode bringing some music, and if I can just get Joseph here to agree to help my other nephews-in-law handle the grill, we might have ourselves a party. Gotta send Baby and Busy off to training camp in style.”
“Oh Auntie Bo, what a nice gesture.” My mother said, wrapping her aunt up in an embrace.
“It is.” My grandmother allowed, in spite of the fact that she was still frowning. “But Joseph needs to rest. He just had his Back-to-School Bash yesterday.”
“I’m fine, mom.” My dad told his mother.
“You need to concentrate on the priorities, Joey. As nice as it is to wish these young men well, it isn’t really a priority.”
Auntie Bo rested her hand on my dad’s forearm. “Well, there’s no need to make it unpleasant.” She began to rub in a soothing fashion. “Do what you can, Joseph. I hope to see you there, but do what you can.” She turned to Xavier and me. “You two, let’s go. I need to head to the meat market. This impromptu barbecue might be last minute, but there’s no reason it has to be bootleg.”
I chuckled.
“I’ve got River and Shawn heading to the grocery store, and Mecca and Busy heading to the liquor store.”
My grandmother’s mouth fell open.
Auntie Bo rolled her eyes behind her bifocals. “Close your mouth, Priscilla. You and I both know you aren’t a stranger to liquor...or drinking on Sunday.”
It was my grandmother’s turn to roll her eyes, but she did close that big mouth of hers.
Auntie Bo’s backyard was not large enough to hold our entire family, so people had spilled out into every available space. I was on the front porch, after leaving Xavier in the backyard talking to my cousin Joya’s husband, Nasir and River’s guy, Shawn.
“So, how are we feeling?” River asked, taking a swallow of her lemon drop. I didn’t know exactly what I was sipping on, all I knew was that my Aunt Danielle was pouring, and as a former bartender, she made the best drinks.
I grinned at my sister. “Nice.” I nodded my head and grinned even harder.
“How many drinks has she had?” Joya asked, smirking at me.
“Apparently too many.” River shook her head. “I’m trying to ask her about X, and she’s telling me about how that drink is hitting.”
“X?” I repeated.
“Yes, Boo. How are you feeling about you and X? He’s leaving tomorrow.”
“I know.” I lifted the martini glass to my lips, but before I could take a sip, it was removed from my hand.
Watching me closely, and holding the glass out of my reach, my cousin Indigo Cross spoke, “slow down, Li’l mama. Keep it up, and you’re gonna be asleep while X is trying to set it off.”
“Oh, we’re letting X set it off, now?” Mecca walked up and joined the conversation without invitation.
“Nope.” I shook my head, not sharing with them how badly I’d wanted Xavier to set it off the day before. “I’m in the process of forgiving, I haven’t forgiven, yet. I’m trying not to be dumb about it.”
“Ugh, please let Grandmother’s words die, Twin.” River huffed in annoyance. “So, what if she thinks you’re dumb? Fuck her. She don’t even know us. She likes to pretend like I’m perfect. I’m not perfect. I don’t even wanna be perfect. I don’t want that pressure. Fuck her. Xavier is your man, always has been. If you want him, have him. Don’t worry about what she’s talking about. You graduated summa cum laude from college. Her ass ain’t even been to college. The only thing you’re being dumb about, is giving her this power over the decisions you make.”
“Besides, her old ass is bitter as hell.” Indigo added. “She could probably benefit from some dick, so definitely don’t let her curve you from getting some.”
“She’s jealous that Reign was getting her back blown out at 16, and she ain’t had dick in over 16 years?” Joya joked.
“Uh, how much have you had to drink?” Mecca questioned, trying to take the cocktail from Joya’s hand.
Joya wouldn’t give it up.
“You gotta feed your baby, Joy. Is a pump and dump really worth it?”
“I got plenty of milk in my freezer. I need this drink.” She disagreed.
“What time is it?” I asked.
Indigo whipped out her phone. “A quarter after twelve.”
“It’s been a long day. I’m ‘bout to get Xavier and head home.”
“Think about what I said, Twin. X is a good guy, and he loves the hell outta you.” She hugged me. “And ride home with the windows down. You need to try to sober up at least a little.”
My sister was right about both things. Xavier was a good guy, and I was a little past tipsy. I realized that when I stumbled as he and I headed up my walkway.
Chuckling he asked, “should I throw you over my shoulder and carry you, Gorgeous?”
“Nah.” I shook my head, which was a mistake, because I kind of stumbled, again.
He chuckled again.
“I’m not drunk, X. I promise, I’m not drunk.” Frowning, I wondered why the keyhole was dancing in front of my face and wouldn’t stay still, so that I could unlock the door.
“I know.” He assured me, taking the key from my hand and unlocking the door for us. “You’re just a light-weight, Ma. You’re probably feeling nice as hell right now.”
I gave him a goofy smile. “I am.”
“I can tell.” I watched as he walked into my place like he was mad comfortable and made his way to the kitchen. Standing next to the island, he raised my house keys in the air. “I’m putting your house keys right here. I’m telling you, but I’mma text that to you, too.”
“I told you that I’m not drunk.”
“And I told you that I know you aren’t.” He stalked back over to me and took me in his arms. “If I thought you were drunk, I wouldn’t do this.” He kissed me, inundatin
g my senses with life, making the nerve endings on my body stand at attention and making my knees weak at the same time.
“I love you so much.” I said, breaking the kiss to mumble the words against his lips. “I love you so much, X.”
He laughed nervously. “I’m starting to rethink what I said. Maybe you are more than just nice.”
“I’m not. I love you. I always have.” I shook my head. “Never stopped.”
“Me either.” He released me, and took a step back, putting at least a foot of space between us. He took my chin in his hand. “Remember that, Raye.”
I nodded my assent. “I will.”
“I gotta get outta here. I still gotta pack, and I have an early flight.”
Not bothering to hide my disappointment, I asked, “you don’t wanna hang out with me?”
“I definitely wanna hang out with you, but I’ve got so much to do at the crib before I head to camp.”
“Again, what’re we doing, Baby? Why’re we even...why is this even on the table? I mean, you leave for training camp next Sunday, and you’ll be gone for 3, 4 weeks. After that, pre-season, then regular season. When do we expect there to be time to build? I feel like you feel like we know each other...and to a certain extent, we do. But it’s been three years. I’ve gotta learn this Xavier, you would need to learn this Reign, when is there supposed to be time to do that? In between workouts, and team meetings, and travel, and games, and interviews, and film review and life? Not to mention that you live in Portland, and I live in Chicago.”
He was silent the entire time I was giving him my rant, when I finished he just watched me intently. His eyes were searching my face, searching my eyes. “Pssshhhhtt.” He said finally. “I don’t care about that shit. I’m gonna make time for you, Raye. There’s always time for what’s important, and as long as planes are still going up in the air, getting to and from Chicago ain’t a problem I can’t tackle.” Cocking his head to the side, his eyes soft with emotion and sincerity, he spoke again. “You can’t talk me outta this. There aren’t enough obstacles in the world to keep me away from you. You can try ghosting me, getting with another nigga - whatever.” With a shrug of his broad shoulders, and a smirk he added, “I’m coming for you Lil mama. God help you.”
River, Trinity and Ayla were hot on my heels when I walked into River Reign Exclusive Design on Monday morning. I would’ve liked to believe it was because I was carrying pastries from K Sweet Bakery and lattes, but I knew those things had nothing to do with it. I made my way to the makeshift breakroom and set the goodies down on the counter.
“What?” I asked evenly. I was tired, hungry, groggy and somewhat cranky.
“Well, that’s that.” Trinity announced. “Clearly she didn’t let X hit.”
“Awww.” Ayla gave me the sad face. “I was hoping that’s why you were running late.”
“I was running late, because I stopped by the Airbnb this morning to see Xavier one last time.”
“Before he left.” River amended. Narrowing her eyes, she moved closer to me. “You mean, you went to see him one last time before he left. Not one last time like you’re never gonna see him again, right?”
“Right. Of course I’m gonna see him again. Uh, we’re working on his project. How am I not gonna see him?”
“Don’t get cute.”
“I’m not.” I assured her, as the office telephone rang.
“Oh well, I guess since there’s no tea to spill, I’ll go back to my desk.” Trinity said, before heading for the door.
“Me, too.” Ayla agreed, joining her.
River stayed put, messing around with stuff on my glass topped desk. Picking up my rose gold bedazzled stapler, before setting it back down. Picking up my Waterford crystal paperweight.
“What’s good, Twin?” I pulled out my chair, so that I could take a seat.
“I don’t know. What’s good, Twin?” Her eyes bore into mine.
I released a sigh. “What do you want me to say?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know, something. Tell me how you feel, what you’re thinking. What happened last night? What happened this morning?”
I released another sigh. “You already know that I love him. I feel like this is our last shot at...each other. And it’s messed up that we live 2000+ miles from each other.”
Waving her hand dismissively, she gave a flip of her head. “Girl, please. Your man is in the NFL. He can afford to fly you there, fly himself here. You’re making problems where there aren’t any.”
I cocked my right eyebrow. “Am I? Xavier doesn’t exactly have a good track record when it comes to coming back for me. I mean, it’s taken him three years to get here. Like I told him, I don’t have another three years to wait for him.”
“He fucked up. There is nobody who knows your story who wouldn’t agree with that. He fucked up. But you can’t forgive him, and still hold it against him, Twin. Matthew 6:24, no one can serve two masters. You will hate one and love the other.”
“Uh, you tried it.” I told her with a chuckle. “That verse is about the love of money.”
“Okay, with your biblical scholar ass. James 1:8, a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.”
I regarded my sister. My look alike. My closest confidante and friend. There were a lot of multiples in my family, but River and I were the only identicals. And not to say that we were closer than Clarke and Indigo, or Cairo and Mecca or the other twins in our family, but we didn’t just share the womb. We actually started off as the same person. She truly was the other half of me. “What would you do, Riv? What would you do if this was you and Shawn?”
“Nope.” Shaking her head, she took the seat opposite mine. “First tell me what you’re gonna do. I know you, Reign. Right now, you probably don’t even have a plan. Terrified to act, because you’re scared of doing something dumb, or something that you think makes you look dumb.”
“It took him three years to come back, don’t you think that’s a little dumb?”
She pinned me with her gaze. “No. I think Busy, and Brandon, and Xavier had a fucked up childhood. I mean, their mother died, and rather than raising them, their father dropped them off at their grandmother’s house. Then, he married that other chick and started a whole new family, just like, threw them away. Xavier was three. He’s been coming back from that his entire life, Reign. And he’s been winning. I mean, hell! He’s sane. He’s successful, he’s the sweetest guy you could ever meet, and instead of being bitter or afraid to love, he loves with everything. Where the hell they do that at? If Shawn had the same background as Xavier, loved me the way Xavier loved you for seven years straight, then fucked up? Yes, I would forgive him. I’m saying, I would make him sweat, and earn it.” She winked at me. “But I wouldn’t let my man get away, Reign. You’re crazy for hesitating. The only thing keeping these chicks off of Xavier is Xavier. If he decides to let himself off the leash, he’s gonna be single for exactly one minute, before some enterprising Instagram model or reality star is riding his dick off into the sunset, while you sit at the crib...looking real fucking smart. Looking wise beyond your years.”
River’s words stayed with me all morning, mostly because she sounded so sure that Xavier deserved to be forgiven even though she didn’t know the mental turmoil he’d experienced behind drifting out of my life. And I did. I knew how his grandmother’s words had affected him, and why they had affected him. I knew that he thought he was doing the right thing. That he thought he was freeing me to find the guy that merited me. Still, I thought it was kind of stupid to give him a second chance after all of the pain, and shame he’d caused me. Yet River thought it was stupid not to.
I stood up from my desk, and made my way to River’s office. She was working on her laptop, but she looked up when I walked in. “Hey. What’s up?”
“Let’s see if we can have lunch with your grandmother tomorrow.”
Her eyes grew as big as saucers. “Priscilla Champion?”
“That�
��s the only grandmother you have, right?”
“Yeah.” Nodding slowly, and looking at me like she wasn’t sure how to take me, she added, “but why would you wanna have lunch with her, Twin?”
“Because tomorrow is the day that I settle all family business.”
“Come through, Michael Corleone.”
I plan to. I thought to myself.
The next day, I dressed like I would be facing an opponent, because honestly, I was. My paternal grandmother had never been a fan of mine. She’d spent practically my entire life making me feel badly about myself, and inferior to River. Her treatment of me had been bad from the jump, but she took it up a few notches after Xavier left for training camp his rookie year, and didn’t come back for me.
I would never forget the time she caught me coming out of one of the Sunday school rooms at church. She’d looked me up and down with a frown, like I disgusted her.
“Uhm uhm uhm. Look at your miserable tail. That’s what happens when you try to be grown before you need to be. Young and dumb. That’s what you are. Young and dumb. Imagining that that boy was gonna love you for life. Why would he do that? I mean, I could see if it was River, but you? He’d have to be a fool.” She sniggered. “And apparently he wasn’t. You need to let it go. You aren’t the first first person to suffer heartbreak, and you won’t be the last. But if you don’t smarten up, you’re gonna suffer more than your fair share.”
I exited my truck, smoothed down my mint green pencil skirt, bloused out my floral top, and strutted toward the restaurant, walking strong in my red bottoms. The ones that had been a gift to myself when I received my MBA.
I have an MBA. I thought to myself. What does this bitch have? Bad breath and a fucked up attitude.
River and my grandmother were standing at the hostess stand, when I approached them.
“Look at how pretty you look.” River said, giving me a warm embrace.
“Thanks, Boo.” I said, hugging her back with the same energy. I turned to my grandmother. “Hello.”
