Wow, how did I get to that when I need to reassure the man next to me that I honestly want him here? Focus Tabitha, you can do this. Take the leap from the cliff as you know he will be the one to catch you. Suck it up buttercup, I mentally repeat over and over until I know exactly what to say.
I look up at him and notice that he’s staring at me as if I’m his lifeline. The one to save him from sinking.
“Carter, I have something to say,” I say in a low voice as I grab his hands into mine. With a quick breath, I release the fear I have within me, and welcome the calming effect that washes over me.
“I know I love you, and that’s all that matters. You aren’t looking for a new place to live. I have the room here, and this can be your home, if you want it to be. I’m messy and I don’t cook much, but in time we can learn to do it all together. I’m still going to have to travel, so with that I have no idea what you will do. Only a few rules to follow. First, put the seat down, always, and second, don’t ever touch my shoes. I have them in order and will hurt you,” I say as I watch Carter’s mouth spread into a smile.
“I think I can handle those rules. Anything else?”
Pushing my lips out and twisting them around as I think, I say, “No, I think I covered it. Oh … wait, I do have one more.”
“And what could that be?”
“Don’t be a smartass. It’s not a look I like on you.”
“Well, by all means, please write all the good looks down so I can make sure you see them every day.”
“… and promise me, no more secrets. We tell each other everything, even if it’s the most stupid thing that happened to us that day. We share every bit of our day. The fears, the joys, and most of all, the love for each other.”
“That, Tabby Cat, I can promise you,” he responds as he pulls me from my chair and onto his lap.
Happy with his response, I lean down and give the man I love the only thing I can—myself.
Carter
This wasn’t the welcome I was expecting in the least. I was completely prepared for her to pull out all that sass she has, but Tabitha never ceases to surprise me. We sat around drinking our coffee as I explained to her the latest with Bethany and the business. Shocked that she didn’t get upset, I let it go.
I go to rinse out our cups and hear her ask from the other room, “What are your plans today? I have to go to the office. You know that thing called a job? I still have one.”
“Smartass, I do too, it’s just being rebuilt currently. You go to work and I’m going to do some online searching for a few offices to rent. I also need to confirm when Kelly’s arriving. She’s wrapping things up for me and then will join us soon.”
“Oh, well, if she needs a place to stay, I’m sure we can offer her the guest room or I can call Jessica. She’s got room,” she explains and I find it sweet that she’s worried about where Kelly will stay.
“She’s renting a place up the road from here, for now that is. Kelly is a private person and enjoys the space. I can promise you that one.”
“Okay, as long as she’s comfortable. Make sure you show her around while I’m gone.”
“What am I going to show her? I know the way to … let’s see: your office, sushi, a fabulous French place, the airport, and here. Plus let’s not forget The Hill.”
“GPS, smartass. Oh wait, I have the perfect plan. Is Kelly single?”
“No, don’t go there.”
“Oh yes … Set up a get together with us, Kelly, and Jack.”
“Not going to happen. She hates Jack with a very deep passion. I can promise you that.”
“I hated you and now look, you moved in,” Tabitha says with a shrug of her shoulders. Almost as if it’s no surprise that I’m here.
Pulling her to me, I look down into her eyes. “You don’t need to go there with them. They already have a past, and unlike us, no future. Leave it alone.”
“Fine, but we can all still get together or something, right?”
“Maybe. We’ll play it by ear. Is that a good enough answer for you?”
“For now,” she says as she kisses my chin and wriggles away.
I watch her head off towards her room. Once she’s gone, I need to put the other plan into action. Deciding to find something on TV, I turn it on and flip through the channels. As I prop my feet up and get myself situated on the sofa, I can’t remember the last time I’ve done this. Life usually consists of me up and out, headed to work for some reason or another. Even when Bethany was staying with me, I’d make sure to be out of the condo before the sun was up each day.
Now, I feel that life might slow down some, you know, to stop and smell the roses, or whatever guys are supposed to do. All I actually know is, that girl in the other room is my life and that’s what I’ll live for now. Not running away or trying to bury the darkness inside. Right now, I choose to live in this moment, and nothing else will cast a cloud over my life.
Tabitha is my reason to live. She asked me once why I had so much darkness covering my body. The simple answer is because I didn’t have the light, and now that’s changed. Do I regret the things from my past? Yes, but they’ve made me into the man I am today, the one who recognizes the love and sunlight before him.
Time to bring color back to this life of mine, and it just so happens I have a new one, and it’s red. That redheaded lady in the next room gives me enough to light my way home.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Tabitha
WALKING INTO THE OFFICE today feels different. I can’t put my finger on it; I just know it’s different. I left Carter at home this morning and I tried to get him to come in with me. He waved me off explaining that he had things to take care of. I notice that Jessica hasn’t arrived yet, and glance at my calendar. Of course with everything going on this week, I forgot she and Seth had an appointment for the baby this morning.
I go around and make sure all the lights and equipment are turned on before I go to my office. As I sit, I slouch over and look at the contracts on my desk. Copies need to be made, but I’ve been sworn to never touch the new copier. I’ll just wait a little while longer, before I have to attempt to make my own. It’s a new machine and looks very simple, so if I have to use it, things should work in my favor.
Just as I go to sort through my papers, I hear my cell phone ringing. Searching through the junk, I locate it and answer, “Good Morning, Cory. Thank you for leaving me last night.”
“Morning, Firecracker, and welcome. How is everything?”
“Things are well, and I assume you already knew that before calling me.”
“No, I hoped they were, but you never know with you. Care to do lunch this afternoon?”
“Sorry, I can’t. I’ve got to finalize this paperwork and then I have a man waiting for me at home.”
“Oh, how I never thought I would hear that from your mouth.”
“Funny guy, you know I love you and you will always be in my life, right?”
“Always and forever, Tabitha. Only one person will ever be my Firecracker. Plus, I’m actually excited that I don’t have to wear those stuffy suits anymore.”
“Oh darling, did you forget who you are dating? I might have dragged you along monthly, but she, my dear, will have you wearing them weekly. You ready for that?”
“Not really and that’s the problem,” Cory says, but I hear more in his voice. There’s something he’s not telling me, but I’ll get to the bottom of it.
“Maybe we can do that lunch today,” I say.
“No, we will chat once you get back. You leave tomorrow, correct?”
“Correct, I’ll be back in a few days. You going to be okay?”
“I will. Now don’t worry about me. Love you and be safe,” he says and I hear him end the call. Leaning back into my chair, I bounce the fluffy pen I have in my hand against the arm of the seat.
How didn’t I notice something was going on? Oh, that’s right you were too wrapped up in your dysfunctional life to see anything. Shi
t, I suck and should have my best friend card revoked. I didn’t see it, but of course I never stopped long enough to actually look at my friend. Cory has always been in love with me and I fought it for so long. I thought he and Meredith were going to be perfect for each other. Just, I never stopped to understand what he was doing. She’s not right for him. He doesn’t care to go to functions every week and dress in those stuffy clothes. No, he needs someone to push him like me. I guess I was wrong all these months, and that explains why he’s been around more, and alone.
While I’m away, I will ponder how to approach this with him. Which brings me to ask, when did we all become so wrapped up in our own lives? I couldn’t tell you what the heck is going on with my brother. That, I regret, especially since we have always known everything about each other.
Angela, I know she’s knee deep in dirty diapers and doing things to Logan I don’t want to imagine. Sitting here, I think back to the last time I had seen Jason, Mitch, and Ben. They were all at sushi a few weeks ago, but nothing was said about what they’ve been doing.
Yes, I revoke my friend card now myself.
Hearing Jessica and Seth come into the office, I shout, “I’m in here, guys.”
“Thank God you’re here. Please get rid of him. I’m not in the mood for the crap today,” Jessica says to me.
“Go on out to your desk, Jessica, while me and my brother have a chat,” I tell her as I look at my brother.
“Shut the door, Seth, and sit down.”
“Not today, Tabitha. For the love of all things, I don’t need it from you as well.”
“Not going to get anything from me other than I want to know how my brother is doing,” I say as I watch him sit before me.
“Shitty, that’s how I’m doing.”
“Lose the attitude with me, okay? Since you don’t ever open up anymore, I can’t help you. Now, start by telling me what the hell is going on with you two.”
“Tabitha, you don’t have all day. That’s how much shit is going on between us.”
I gather up the papers I need copied and stand, but before I leave my office I look at my brother and say, “Lucky for you, I do. Now give me just a moment, and by the way, I suggest you don’t move,” As I approach Jessica’s desk, I notice she’s wiping the tears away from her face. Dropping the contract on her desk, I say, “I need these by the end of the day, and let me deal with him, okay?”
Jessica doesn’t respond; all she can do is nod her head and look over my shoulder towards my office door.
As I pad back to my desk, I’m internally beating myself up. I’ve always been the one who holds this group together and I let them all slip away. I was so wrapped up in my pain that I missed the ones hurting before me.
Slamming my door, I stalk over to my desk and plop down. With a glare towards my brother, I start off the conversation.
“Fix this shit and do it now. You have loved that girl for years. What’s holding you back?”
Seth cocks his head at me and gives me that knowing look, but before he can speak I hold up a finger to hush him. “No excuse. I know what that bitch did to you, but Jessica is not her. For the love of all mighty leprechauns, Seth, she’s having your baby.”
“Do not pull the leprechauns into this mess, you hear me? You don’t understand, Tabitha.”
“Then make me, Seth. Explain to me why my assistant is out in that room crying while carrying my niece or nephew.”
“Niece, we found out today. Pretty much, Jessica wants to get married. I’m not ready for that yet. I asked her to move in with me, but she refuses to unless I put a ring on her finger. Hell Tabitha, I can’t even think about asking her. When I do, I panic. You know, get all sweaty and start to freak out.”
“I understand and I think you’re wrong. Seth, you need to let the past go and look at what you guys could have together. She is perfect for you, and I know she’d be an amazing sister-in-law. Trust me, I would not be sitting here if I didn’t think I could enjoy holiday dinners with her,” I say, and he should understand what I mean.
“Where is all this coming from, Sis? You’re the last one I expected to tell me anything about love.”
“That might have been the case, but now things are different. Carter moved in last night and we’re going to build a relationship. Will we get married and have babies? I have no clue. But unlike you, I’m trying.”
“Wow … I don’t know what to say. I never thought you, of all people, would sit across from me and lecture me on love. Figured that would be Mom.”
“You’re lucky it’s not Mom. Remember that night when we made that stupid pact at the Waffle House? It was stupid, Seth. Well, now it is, but it was what both of us needed back then. We needed it to survive the hurt. Now, both of us have someone special. Just think about it, okay?”
“I’ll see what I can do, but can you let me know where my sister went? This, I’m not sure who it is,” he says, waving his hands around at me. Giving my brother the biggest smile I can, I stand and walk over to him.
“Now, give your very smart and beautiful sister a hug,” I say as I open my arms. When Seth wraps his big arms around me, I relax into the comfortable feeling. This has been something I’ve missed over the last few months and what I plan to have more of.
“Now get out of here. I have work to do and a man to get home to,” I say as I push him out of my office and give a wink towards Jessica.
I shut my door and head back into my peaceful office. When I sit down, I grab my phone to send a text to Carter.
Me: Hey lover boy, I hope you’re finding everything. Miss you and I can’t wait to come to you tonight.
Yes, that just happened. Tabitha Michaelson just told a man she couldn’t wait to get home to him, and I am shocked that I might actually have domesticated myself without trying. I know, maybe I should try my luck with the copier and then cook tonight. Right as I stand to go try out my new found luck, I sit back down and say out loud “No, don’t rush it Tabitha, you’ll only end up killing something or burning down the place.”
There’s always tomorrow to figure out the stove and copier. Today, I’ve learned how to love, that’s enough of a lesson for one day.
Carter
Not sure where I want to set up my new office, I pull my laptop out of its bag and set out in search of the perfect spot. Kelly will be arriving later today, and has reassured me that she has a place to stay and has rented a vehicle. She’s instructed me to focus on the fresh start I have in store for us all. I can only pray Tabitha gets it out of her head to fix up Kelly and Jack. That is something I have watched blow up in the past, and I have no desire to watch that unfold again.
When Jack would visit me, I’d make sure Kelly was nowhere to be found. It’s a ship that sailed by like a storm passing us all. Not until recently have they been able to work together, and that’s still in question. I feel it’s more an act than truth.
With Google open, I search for a few available units and then hear my phone ding.
Letting out a smile as I read her text, I know what I’m going to do. It will be perfect, and within the next couple of days, I can plan it all out.
I dial up her boss and best friend to seek some help.
On the second ring, Angela answers, “Hello, this is Angela Black.”
“Angela, Carter Northwood here. Do you have a moment?”
“I was wondering when you’d call me and yes, you’re in luck. I have some free time for the one who crushed my best friend.”
“I deserve that and more.”
“You could say that, but since I’ve talked to our girl recently I won’t scream at you. Now what can I help you with?”
“Well I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but I am living in California with Tabitha. I’m searching for a new office here and while she’s gone, I have a few things to get in order.”
Angela interrupts me to ask, “What do you mean living with her? When did this happen?”
“Last night, I showed back up.”
>
“You really need to stop that. No wonder she calls you Batman.”
Chuckling, I let that one go as I might need a dictionary of all the things she calls us. “I want to take her someplace special when she returns. Something pretty important needs to be asked, but not here. So with that, can I whisk our girl off for a few days?”
“Of course you can, but are you going to tell me where and what needs to be asked?”
“No and no. You’ll find out sooner rather than later. Also, I’d like to thank you for keeping her on the contract all these months. I know it wasn’t easy on her.”
“No it wasn’t, and I have to tell you, if I would’ve known, that wouldn’t have happened. See, Carter, it wasn’t until recently that she explained everything. I knew something was going on between you two, but wasn’t aware of it all. Now that I know, you should feel lucky I haven’t sent my husband to destroy you. I take it, since you’re going on a little vacation, that won’t be necessary now?”
“I sure hope like hell it won’t be. Guess we’ll know in a few days. Oh and by the way, congrats on your baby boy. I hope you are all adjusting.”
“Thank you and yes, we are. Is there anything else, Mr. Northwood?”
“No, that is all,” I say.
“Very well. The family and I will see you all at the end of the month when we visit.”
“I look forward to seeing you soon, then. Oh, and thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Bye now.”
Once I disconnect the call, I’m actually glad she lives in New York; she might be a force to be reckoned with if she lived here. Now, I know not to cross her and to be on guard.
Happy I’ll be able to escape for a few days, I continue my search for the perfect location. Tomorrow, I need to gather the rest of the things necessary for the trip.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Tabitha
IT’S ONLY TWO in the afternoon, but I feel like I’ve been in this office all day. I check to see if I have anything else to do and I notice it’s almost time for an appointment with Frank. Dialing up the salon, I book both Jessica and myself an appointment. Angela instructed me not to spoil the new assistant, but this is an emergency. Plus, I’m half owner now and should be able to spoil who I want.
Unexpected Changes Page 14
