by Lylah James
I love you.
***
I woke up with a start. A loud bang could be heard and then screams. Horrifying, painful screams. My eyes widened, and I sat up. My arm reached out for Boris, but he was already out of bed. My heart thundered at the sight of him, quickly pulling on his pants and shirt.
“Boris,” I said quietly.
His eyes snapped up, and they held me place. Thousands of unsaid words passed between us. Tears filled my eyes, and I shook my head slowly. My stomach cramped, and my lungs tightened to the point I couldn’t breathe. The estate was under attack. God, no. This couldn’t be happening.
Another screeching bang jolted me, and I jumped out of bed. The trance between Boris and I was gone. I reached him the same time he reached for his gun. With one hand, he palmed my cheek. “It’s going to be okay,” he said quickly.
My throat felt heavy. “Don’t leave me,” I whispered.
“Lena…” Boris growled.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t really speak. I felt…numb. Empty.
“Please.”
His dark eyes stared into my crying soul. And then he shook his head. “Get Maddie from her room and hide. Don’t come out, Lena.”
“Don’t leave me,” I said again. Couldn’t he hear my heart shattering? Why wouldn’t he look into my begging eyes and stay?
“Lena!” he snapped, shaking my shoulders now. I saw the love in his eyes. I saw the pain there. His eyes told me he didn’t want to leave, but his duty said otherwise. I also saw the fear in those eyes I loved so much.
Indescribable fear slithered into my soul. He was scared. Boris Ivanshov was never scared. Of nothing and no one.
“Baby. I need you to be strong right now. I need you to listen to me. Get Maddie and Viktor and hide. They are both in the next room. Don’t step outside of this room. Open the adjoined door and get them. Turn the light off and hide in the bathroom.”
I started to shake my head. Why wouldn’t he listen to me? Don’t leave me!
He placed a gun into my palm. “If someone comes in, you shoot first. Don’t ask questions. Don’t speak. Don’t wait. You shoot.”
Pain. That was all I felt. It…hurt so much.
“Boris…”
I gripped his hand tighter when he tried to let go. He made a pained sound at the back of his throat, and my chin wobbled with the effort not to scream or cry out. His fingers entwined with me. He squeezed my hand, and I choked back a sob.
Pulling me closer, he placed the sweetest kiss on my lips.
And then he let go.
I reached for him, but he took a step back. No.
Our gazes met. I love you, he said.
Don’t go! Please don’t go, I said. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave us. Stay. Please.
But the moment was once again broken by the sound of gunshot. Boris didn’t look at me again, but he turned around. I watched my husband walk away and out of our room.
Right into the arms of bloodshed.
A single droplet of tear silently fell down my cheek. Stay with me, I wanted to beg. But it was too late.
He was gone. My heart cried. My soul bled and wept.
I never wanted to add another sparrow on my skin. But…fate was cruel.
Silence filled my ears, and then I heard his voice. His vows the day he made me his.
You are burning. You are out of control. You are sweet and wild. You have the heart of the storm and the soul of love. You are fire. And you are everything that I love. You and me…forever, baby.
Little did we know…forever didn’t exist, just like fairy tales were just stupid dreams.
Chapter 23
Maria
“Mommy?”
The voice of my sweet boy brought me back to the present, and my fear skyrocketed into my system. My blood ran cold, and my eyes widened in realization. If anything happened to Alessio…
No, I shook my head. I refused to let anything happen to my son. Without thinking twice, I was already pulling him out of bed. There was no time. The screams got louder. The gunshots sounded closer.
“Mommy, what’s happening?” Alessio asked, his little voice trembling.
My lungs clenched, and I didn’t know what to say to my little boy, how to appease his fear. God, Lyov…where are you? We need you.
I knelt down in front of Alessio. My stomach tightened, and then my baby girl went still, as if she was hiding away. I looked around the room, searching for a place to hide Alessio. My whole body shook, and the insides of me were twisted in knots. My eyes drifted to the bed.
Another loud bang rang through the walls of the Estate. “Alessio, listen to me carefully. I want you to hide under the bed. Okay?”
I could hear the tremble in my voice, the panic. My stomach dropped, and my lungs squeezed together. “No matter what happens or what you see or hear, you don’t come out. Do you understand?” I whispered, grabbing his shoulders and giving him a little shake when he didn’t respond. I hated the look of terror in his blue eyes, the same eyes as mine—the eyes Lyov loved so much.
At the thought of Lyov, I choked back a sob. I couldn’t die today. No, I just couldn’t. What would Lyov do? I was his Angel. He needed me. We needed each other.
Alessio finally nodded, and I breathed out a shaking sigh of relief. He would be safe. I would make sure of it even if that was the last thing I did. Tears stung my eyes. I tried not to cry, not wanting to scare and worry Alessio any further, but the tears slid down my cheeks before I could stop them. They were the hardest tears I had ever cried.
Pulling Alessio in to my chest, I held him closely. So tight. I wish I could burrow him into my embrace and protect him from this bloody, tainted world. I peppered his face with kisses. His chubby cheeks. His eyes. His nose. His forehead. I couldn’t stop loving on my sweet boy. Deep inside of me, I feared it would be the last time I could hold my baby in my arms.
When I pulled away, Alessio gripped my wrists tightly into his little hands. His hold tightened. He was so strong for his young age. There was no mistake that he was an Ivanshov.
“Mommy, what about you? Why am I hiding under the bed?” he questioned slowly.
I wished I had the answers for you, my sweet boy. But I didn’t.
Another loud bang came through, and this time, my whole body jostled. My mind went back to that night again. No. No. No. Stop, Maria. Think of Alessio. Think of your baby girl. Your little Princess. I needed to be strong for my babies. I couldn’t lose my mind right now; I couldn’t go back into being that broken girl.
No. I was Lyov’s Queen. And a Queen never cowered in fear.
“Alessio. Don’t ask me questions, okay? Please, baby, just listen to Mommy. Hide under the bed and don’t come out. Not until Papa, Lena, or Isaak come looking for you,” I said. I could hear the desperation in my voice. Alessio opened his mouth to argue; I could see it in his eyes. I shook my head, and he went silent.
“Please, my baby. Promise Mommy that you won’t come out,” I begged this time.
Alessio finally nodded, and this time, I cried. Pulling him into my chest again, I gave him a final kiss on his forehead before whispering, “I love you. I love you so much, my sweet boy. Never forget that.”
As we pulled apart, I could hear the noises closer to the door. They were right outside. I heard Boris. He bellowed something loud. I could hear fighting from the other side. My heart accelerated, and it beat heavily, almost painfully against my ribcage.
Quickly, I pushed Alessio toward the bed. “Go, my baby. Don’t come out. Don’t make any noise—no matter what. Do you hear me?” He crawled underneath the high bed, and I pulled the corners of the bedsheets down so he was perfectly hidden from view.
I separated my sweet boy from me. I suddenly felt sick, and my throat started to close up. Just when I stood up, the door banged open. My heart thumped, and I closed my eyes for the briefest second. My breathing stuttered.
You will never have to do anything without me. We will always be together, Angel
.
Bringing my hand up, I choked back an agonized cry. Where are you, Lyov? Please come back.
The intruder tsked from behind me. Taking a deep breath, I faced him. The villain of my happily ever after.
My gaze found his face, and the world came to a screeching halt. Everything went chillingly silent. A dark cloud settled around my once happy bubble. My blood ran cold, and my eyes widened at the familiar face. My hands grew clammy, and my heart twisted.
“Maria. How lovely to see you again.”
That voice. It once haunted me. Many years ago, he belonged in my nightmares. He was the face I saw behind the bars of my cage as he reveled in my suffering and threw pieces of bread at me.
“Alfredo,” I replied, my voice surprisingly cold and hard. This man was part of my misery. He had sat there in a pretty suit and watched me break while laughing.
I saw Boris behind Alfredo. His face was harsh and badly bruised, bleeding. He seemed out of breath, his wide chest heaving and his face twisted in pain with each laboured breath. I could tell he had fought through hell to be here. But before I could rejoice in slight relief that Boris was here, everything crumbled around me. My heart thundered and then shattered at the sound of a gunshot going off and then Boris falling limply to the floor.
NO!
I wanted to scream. My lips parted, but my agony was silent.
Alfredo smirked, his face a mask of evil. “I am surprised Lyov left you unprotected.”
You are stronger than you think, Maria.
I lifted my chin up and stared into his black, soulless eyes. “Why are you here?” I asked.
“You know exactly why I am here, sweet Maria.”
Sweet Maria.
Sweet slave.
Bile rose in the back of my throat, and I suddenly wanted to throw up. I felt sick.
Get on your knees and suck my cock, sweet slave.
The memories assaulted me with such pain, and I almost doubled over. My gaze went to the dagger in his hand, and I saw the emblem. The Italians’ emblem. The Abandonato.
Alfredo Abandonato.
Oh God.
My eyes widened in realization. But oh, how late I was. So very late. So very stupid.
My head lifted up, and our eyes connected. He laughed, a cold, merciless laugh. He saw it in my eyes. He saw it in the depth of my soul. He knew that I figured it out. Only I was eight years too late.
Alfredo was there…when I was owned by Valentin. He would come to Solonik’s house, to the little parties that he would throw every now and then, to show his collections of slaves.
Alfredo took part during those parties. He was an active member of that society.
But Alfredo was an Italian. He was a Boss. He was not meant to be there. The Italians and Russians never crossed paths.
My heart hammered, and I closed my eyes briefly. Oh Lyov.
Solonik betrayed the Russians.
He was in partnership with Alfredo. Valentin planned it—this. He was the mastermind.
“A little too late, aren’t you?” Alfredo tsked with fake sadness. “Lyov will never know the truth now.”
His mocking words hurt. God, did it hurt. So bad. Sharp knives were being stabbed into me, digging holes into my soul and leaving me to bleed.
I didn’t reply. Angered by my silence, just like always—he wanted my tears, my cries of agony—Alfredo lurched forward and grabbed me by the hair.
His black eyes were hard and cold. I saw death in them. My death.
He spat into my face, his fist twisting painfully into my hair before violently pushing me away. My feet twisted under me, and I went down hard. My stomach hit the ground, and this time, I screamed. My Princess.
I squeezed my eyes shut as indescribable pain went through every inch of my body. But that wasn’t what hurt the most. My nose tingled and my chest heaved with a laboured breath. Darkness clouded around me. What hurt the most was the bleak and bitter realization that there was…no escape.
From the corner of my eyes, I saw Alessio trying to move, trying to come to my rescue. My sweet protective boy. He was so much like his father.
I gave him a slight shake of my head, silently begging him, and he stayed still. I saw his tears. I saw my sweet boy cry, and my tears fell.
Turning around, still on the floor, I held my stomach and looked up at the man who could be my downfall. I pleaded with him, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I pleaded with the devil, because I didn’t want to leave my Lyov behind.
“Please, don’t do this. I beg you. Have mercy.”
His laughter boomed around the room, and I flinched, choking back my cries. He knelt down next to me, and his filthy hands touched me. His fingers traced a line up my neck, my jaw, and then he thumbed my lips roughly.
His touch then continued down, toward my breasts. He circled my nipple, and I wanted to claw his eyes out. Alfredo raised an eyebrow seductively, and he pinched my nipple to the point of pain, and I cried out.
“I can show you mercy if you agree to come with me. Be my whore and then maybe I’ll show you mercy.”
I let my head fall back on the floor, and I stared at the ceiling. My body was cold and numb, my emotions in turmoil. My broken heart was like a shattered vase, all the fragile pieces scattered around. The broken glasses pierced my soul, without consideration and almost mockingly.
Lyov had been able to gather the shattered pieces of my heart before. He had slowly pieced them back together. It had not been a perfect mold, but it was perfect enough for us.
But now…those shattered pieces? They couldn’t be fixed or put together.
They burned into a bright fieriness until nothing was left but the ashes of it.
Alfredo leaned down, closer to my face, and murmured in my ear. “It could be just like before, sweet Maria. Although this time…I will take your cunt. Hmm, maybe I will let you come too. I’ll make you enjoy it. I’ll make you cream and squeeze my dick.”
No. I could see it in his eyes. The dark, evil glint. He would just use me in the most sadistic ways. He would fuck me until the sheets were red with my blood.
By the time Lyov found me, I would only be a corpse.
A man like Alfredo would never let me survive for more than a few hours, for his enjoyment. And then he would take great pleasure in ending me.
My sweet princess, what would become of her then?
Never again. I would never bow for men like him again. I’d rather die as Lyov’s Angel…a Queen, rather than as a slave.
“Never,” I spat. “I will never allow another man to touch my body. I only belong to Lyov. I would rather die than have you touch me.”
Alfredo grunted in response, and he raised an eyebrow, surprise at my outburst. “Is that your final decision?”
I kept my eyes on him, unflinching. My silence was my answer.
“Well, okay then,” he said.
He stood up and pointed the gun at me. “Why are you doing this?” There was a break in my voice, and I hated it.
“Don’t you know, Maria? The best way to bring a man down is by his weakness. And you, my sweet, are Lyov’s weakness.”
My breathing faltered. Lyov called me Angel, and I always thought of myself as his guardian Angel, the wings that would protect him just like he was my shield. I vowed to be his strength.
But it was in that moment when I realized that I was more his weakness than his strength.
I was his downfall.
I saw Alfredo’s finger on the trigger. My palm cradled my rounded stomach, and I felt my baby girl kick one last time. I wanted to rage at the unfairness. I wanted to hate Lyov for leaving us. But I couldn’t.
The fault wasn’t ours. The fault lay in the cruel game of fate.
For eight years, our lives had been divine and so full of love. But we had been dancing within the arms of death, escaping through it, but for how long? Time ran out, and it was my blood they wanted.
Time slowed and silence took the shape of life, surround
ing me with a sharp coldness. Everything flashed before my eyes, my whole life. Everything, every little piece of me was unfolding and scattering around…floating far, far away. I watched it all from a distance. Not exactly here or there, but somewhere in the middle.
I thought of my parents. The accident. I thought of the abbey and all the sisters. I thought of Sophia and my unborn princess.
I thought of Lena. Isaak. Boris. Viktor. Maddie.
My sweet boy. Alessio. I remembered the day he was born. His first breath. His first cry. His first word. His first steps, the first time he walked toward his papa. I remembered how proud Lyov looked that day. I remembered how he had held Alessio close and kissed his forehead.
I thought of my Lyov. Our first look. His first words to me. His first touch on my skin.
My name means Lion. I am a hunter. I like to possess and own things until they are solely mine. But I am also the protector of my pride, Angel.
That also means I am your protector because I happen to love you very much. Fuck, I more than just love you. Love is a weak word to describe what I feel for you.
There are no limits on the hell I would walk through to make sure you are always smiling…always happy.
I thought of my cruel, heartless made man. And then I thought of my sweet lover.
My gaze flittered over my left hand, my wedding ring. It was very simple, with only a single small diamond in the middle. There was nothing fancy about it. Just elegant and perfect for me.
Our wedding. My beautiful white dress. Lyov had twirled me around the dance floor. Then he had leaned down and placed a kiss on my neck, over my thrumming vein.
I thought of Lyov standing at the end of the aisle as he waited for me to walk to him, on shaky legs. I held on to Isaak and made my way to my love. Our unbroken vows to each other.
I, Maria Andersen, take you, Lyov Ivanshov, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad. I will love, cherish, and honor you all the days of my life.
