I look across at Killian’s back. The man’s pulling things from one of the horse’s saddle-bags.
“And he’ll only hurt you if he thinks it will help you.”
I snort. Those two things are complete opposites to me.
“Come on,” he says, nodding toward the others before standing and walking away.
I pull the leaf from the sand. It’s blue. The rest of the sand is scattered in leaves, but none of them are blue.
“What’s that?” Roarke asks as I approach.
His eyes widen and before I can answer he smacks the thing out of my hand and pins it under his boot.
“Maybe you shouldn’t touch anything in the forest,” he says.
“It was pretty, that’s all,” I say, pointing to where my leaf is now being unrecognizably squashed.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you don’t get blue leaves out there, do you?” He gestures vaguely toward Desayer Realm.
“Nope,” I say.
“Then why would you think it’s a good idea to pick one up?” Roarke asks.
He lifts his boot, and what’s been squashed looks more like a blue spider than a blue leaf. There’s still an intricate design of leaf-like veins covering it, and a narrow point that looks like a stem at its back end. But it undeniably has fangs at the front.
I fold my arms across my chest and tuck my hands into my armpits.
“You killed Leafy,” I say – because my mouth isn’t as scared about the idea that I was carrying around a spider as the rest of me is. “He was my friend and you just killed him.”
Seth laughs. Roarke frowns. Killian grunts in amusement and Pax levels his gaze at each of them in turn. Silence reigns by the time he’s looking at me.
“Walk me through it,” he says.
“Well, I saw a blue thing in the sand –”
“Not that,” he says, cutting me off. “What happened with the potion?”
Killian passes around portions of pastry, which after one bite, I discover contains deliciously herbed meat. I devour another mouthful before answering Pax.
“Oh, the potion, right. That makes more sense. I was comfortably relaxing in the stocks –”
“What were you in the stocks for?” Roarke cuts in.
I turn a little toward him, while on my other side, Killian turns to hear what Seth starts saying. “I was just walking by and saw her there.”
“Apparently leaving your duties to put food in someone’s boot is frowned upon around here. It was his fault, anyway.” I point my finger at Seth and realize he’s finished with the exact same thing about me – complete with finger pointing.
Pax runs a hand down his face. Pulling his brow smooth and drawing down his cheeks in frustration.
“So he dragged you up to the Potions Lab?” Roarke asks, which possibly saves all of us from being yelled at.
“We used an old fashioned Rearrange Potion,” Seth says.
“Quiet,” Pax says, waving at Seth like a person would wave at a buzzing insect. “We’ve heard your story already, several versions of it. I want to know what she knows.”
“How did you end up with an invisible wall?” Roarke asks.
“Bubble.”
“Fine, bubble,” he agrees.
I nod, letting him know he has the facts right. I mean, technically the actual physical barrier would be better called a bubble-wall. But the idea of a bubble makes me feel much less doomed.
“I started pouring the liquid on the books, but when some people arrived I left the bottle on the table.”
“Logan had a test on the third bell,” Pax says. “Crown Lithael’s nephew or not, he’s still only forty-nine years old. He was only recently called, his triune is a baby, and he still has tests to pass in his classes and trials to survive if he’s ever going to go out on assignments. Rearrange the ingredients in a recipe, and he’s going to fail his test. We all deliberately failed our last potions quarter to get bumped back to square one – Logan’s class – to keep an eye on him.”
“Not that it’s helped. He’s held out of classes more than he’s in them,” Roarke cuts in.
“Regardless, the idea was not to sabotage him. Your new friend here,” Pax pauses to wave at Seth. “Used you to get past my order. What happened to the bottle?”
“I didn’t see much. Blue-misty stuff everywhere –”
“At least a hundred known potions have that reaction,” Roarke says, mostly as background noise because I keep talking and everyone’s attention stays on me.
“When I walked toward it, it followed me, then went through the floor and vanished.”
“The way it dissipates could narrow things down.” Roarke turns his eyes slightly skyward – a thoughtful expression on his face.
“They didn’t touch it,” I say, looking to Seth for confirmation because I couldn’t actually see much from behind the desk.
“Neither Logan, Tray, or Asanta?” Roarke checks.
“No, they didn’t,” he agrees. “But we all did.”
I breathe a shaky sigh of relief. Logan was in that room, and the idea of being trapped in a bubble with him runs through my body like shards of ice. Him – his uncle. I try to uncurl my fingers, to move just one small part of me, to shake off the images. The redhead screaming. The desire in the Crown’s voice. And what would happen to a woman who can’t escape.
“Don’t,” Killian grunts, but his words are lost on me.
Without warning, he stomps on my toes. Hard.
“Crap, what was that for?” I demand, jumping around in pain.
I suck my lip into my mouth and bite down to keep from letting anything else out – like actual crying noises.
“Don’t think,” he says.
“Could be a little more restrained about it, Darkness,” Roarke says.
“Darkness and restrained, that’s a new concept,” Seth says.
“A bit like Chaos not fucking up Logan’s potion and gluing her to us?” Roarke counters.
“Alright, alright,” I say, well, part grimace, as I put my foot back on the ground. “Do we know what potion we walked through or not?”
Pax’s demeanor stills. When he inhales again, it’s sharp and full of anger.
“If the blue-mist has forced us all together in a way, then the original spell was designed to separate us, pull us apart from each other.”
Killian growls his almost-a-monster growl.
This is pretty much all my fault and they know it. I can feel an array of emotions washing off them. Predominantly anger. Seth has a worry crease above his brow. Roarke runs his hand through his long hair, then decides to pull it back into a knot at the back of his head. His movements are stilted, like he’s trying to accept an impending fate – possibly death. Pax is like a rock – if a rock could look ready to smash other rocks.
And me. Little soot-slave with no business being here, being in a Potions Lab, or in the throne room of a nasty ass Crown who may, or may not, be behind every move Logan makes. Waiting to put these four on their knees and suck the life from their bodies too.
“Sor –” my apology is cut off by Killian’s sharp movement, and my need to get my toes as far away from his boot as possible.
“If they managed to place invisible walls between us, then things would get considerably more dangerous. You two,” Roarke says, pointing at Seth and me. “Might actually have saved us from that.”
“Of course we have,” Seth says, but his smile is way too chuckin’ big.
Pax moans. “Then what happened?”
“You guys arrived,” Seth says.
“And where was she?” Pax asks.
“I was still behind the desk.”
“You were behind the desk when we walked in?” Roarke is clearly asking me, but he turns his sharp gaze on his younger brother.
Which is when Pax leans across and whacks Seth up the back of the head.
“Idiot,” Killian growls.
After he’s moved out of his brother’s reach, still rubbing
his head, Seth settles his blue eyes apologetically on me.
“Sorry,” he says softly.
I’ve never had someone say sorry to me before. It’s uncomfortable, and I immediately look for an escape.
Turning to Killian, I demand, “How come he’s allowed to say sorry?”
“Because he’s a dickhead,” Killian grunts.
Harsh, but I’m not arguing with that.
“I understand you four and Logan have issues. But what did you guys do to piss off Asanta?” I ask, which by default is me asking what could I possibly have done to the woman.
Seth rubs the back of his neck, growing a heated shade of pink as all of the guys turn toward him.
“Yeah, I don’t date people with mean streaks. There’s a line between funny and nasty, and I don’t cross it,” he says. “Not like she does, anyway.”
“She’s pissed because you won’t date her?” I gasp. I mean, of course he’d say no to her.
Right?
He nods, not that he can hear my added layer of internal questions.
“She’s trying to get you all killed,” I say. Them and me.
“Looks like it,” Seth says.
“And she was talking about impressing the Crown,” I say.
“Her older brother has always been loyal to Lucif, and by default, his son Lithael. Even before Lithael took control of the kingdom. So we were expecting some escalation. From the moment Logan got the call, we knew things here would change,” Roarke says.
“You were expecting this?” I demand.
“Well, not exactly this,” Roarke says. Then his gaze unfocuses on the middle distance – thinking. After a breath he adds, “but she does have the trifecta. Proven obedience to Logan, proven lust that’s turned to jealousy, and after what just happened in the stables I’d say she also has proven rage.”
“Seth can deal with her,” Killian grunts.
“Seth won’t touch her,” Pax snaps, which I find myself nodding at and getting a raised eyebrow from Seth for my actions.
I meant in general. Not for any specific reason, I think, but I keep my mouth shut as Pax continues to talk.
“Logan is our problem and we can’t touch him without pushing Lithael over this imagined line of control that he’s drawn. We keep our deal.”
I don’t feel at all comforted by any of that.
“She’s not smart enough to come up with her own plans, let alone act on them. She’s following Logan’s orders, even if she doesn’t want to admit it,” Seth says.
“She said she was the one who found the potion recipe,” I recall.
“That narrows things down. She doesn’t have access to a lot of Potions Masters or libraries.” Roarke’s face lights up at the idea. “We’ll find the source.”
“Can we pop it?” I ask. “The bubble, not Asanta. It’s worth a try, right?”
Maybe Asanta too, just not by me. That’s way above my dishwashing job description.
Killian grunts in agreement.
“We should probably try,” Roarke says, his lips pressing into a thin line that I translate to mean he’s not hopeful.
We have to break it, but what are they going to do? Throw stuff at it? Throw me at it?
They move back into the center of the space. I eye the horse’s saddlebags, wondering if I could find more food or a drink before my bubble reaches its limits – and I’m too late. A wall nudges my left arm, making me follow the guys. Watching for more blue leaves. I’m actually a little sad that I don’t spot any. Putting one in Killian’s bed would be amusing.
“Get behind us,” Pax says, and I obey.
“Or in front,” Killian says, which I do not obey because the guy is crazy.
The four of them line up, bend down on one knee, brace their hands against the ground, and without warning, blast out power.
Pure power. Strong as a hammer smashing into an anvil.
It smacks into me. Into everything. Branches fall from nearby trees. Birds take off, making screeching sounds; I fly backward, hit the bubble and drop like a sack of seed to the ground. I’m not touching the bubble anymore, but the parts of me that did hit it feel like they are still being zapped by lightning.
Groaning.
Lots of groaning.
“Didn’t we direct that forward?” Seth asks. He sounds confused, but I don’t move to look at him.
The sand is biting into my cheek, my body in a heap, my head turned away from them, and right now I’m just going to lay here.
“Are you okay, Kitten?” Roarke asks.
“Not your pet,” I groan out.
“It’s affected our magic,” Pax says, and he sounds like he’s walking toward me. “Amplified it within the bubble.”
I draw my hands up underneath me. Manage to get my knees up underneath me too.
And that’s as far as I get.
Pax crouches down next to me.
“Can you get up?” he asks.
My whole body shakes and I create a quick list of reasons why getting up should be difficult. Four days ago, I was kidnapped by Silvari Elite Saber hot-as-chocolate assholes, and knocked out by magic. I didn’t eat for two days, then got up at dawn and worked my ass off, got knocked out again, thrown in the stocks, messed up by a potion, banged up by a bubble, kneeled before a Crown as he started to suck the life out of people, ate half a bread roll, slept for a few hours on a chair, woke up again and shoveled horse stalls all day, ate another morsel of food, and then got thrown through the air into an unrelenting wall of power.
“No,” I say, my arms giving way. No, I can’t get up.
“I’m going to pick you up,” Pax says.
I want to tell him not to. Not to bother. Not to try. Not to even think about it.
That want is my brain in old habits. My body, however, leans into his embrace. Curls against his muscled chest. Welcomes the strength that seeps from him to me. A strength I’ve never felt before. My body relaxes.
And my mouth, for once, minds its own business.
I startle, realize I’m not falling, just being passed down from Pax on his horse to Killian on the ground, then try to stop myself from screaming.
Not falling, I tell myself as I gulp down the squeal.
“Easy, lass,” Killian says, putting me on my feet.
I slept the whole trip back. How long was that trip, twenty minutes? Half an hour? Not long enough. Everything aches; even my bones protest their existence.
“Do you reckon she needs more sleep?” Seth asks.
“Of course she does. She’s human,” Roarke says.
“Yes. Sleep,” I say. I look around for a suitable option, like the corner of the nearest horses stall, then I realize there’s another priority. “Wait. Toilet.”
I hug my arms around myself, trying to warm away the ache, turning in a slow circle to work out where I am.
“Why would that be my job?” Seth is asking, not me. Probably Pax.
“Just point,” I say, searching the walls for an obvious bathroom door.
Not that they’re obvious in this place. Built from the same timber and set back between two stalls, they’re actually really easy to miss.
Seth walks off.
“We’re going to need a roster for this kind of thing,” he calls over his shoulder.
He better not be expecting me to follow him, because I have no idea where he’s going and my sleep dazed brain is still trying to work out what the guy’s talking about.
“Go,” Pax says, waving me after Seth.
I move with a half-hobble and half-stagger, kind of like a cow with a broken hip. They usually get put down.
Avoiding that train of thought, I let Seth open the bathroom door.
“Maybe shower while you’re in there,” he says, then closes the door with himself outside it.
It’s a simple room. Four toilets on the left wall, each in cubicles, and a row of showers on the back wall without cubicles. The Elorsin brothers are the only Sabers sleeping out here, so the showers ar
e more for washing the mud off your boots than for getting fully naked in.
Feeling clean would be nice – but washing isn’t what I’d call it. Struggling and splashing is a better description. There’s a thin sliver of a bar of soap used to wash hands and no towels. Not that I’m awake enough to care. I slip back into my clothes and use the wall for support as I move toward the toilets.
Even a cold shower hasn’t breathed life back into me.
I slide into the toilet cubicle, latch the door, and manage to get my oversized male-servant pants back down before sitting…
Then jerking awake to a pounding sound.
Everything is pounding… no, not everything. Just the door. The one right in front of me. I sit up from my slouched position, still on the toilet, but leaning against the wall, and try to shake the dazed feeling from my head.
“If you don’t come out, I will have to come in,” Seth says.
I jump up from the loo, my pants up in a flash, and barely get the tie done before unlatching the door and looking up at him from under droopy eyelids.
He has the prettiest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. They’re like the blue right at noon, right in the middle of the sky. He doesn’t even blink.
“You were asleep, weren’t you?” he asks.
I shake my head.
“Sure you weren’t. Don’t kick me in the balls.”
Kick him?
He scoops down and picks me up, draping my weight over his shoulder.
“If Pax asks, I got your permission first,” he’s saying. “Not sure you can talk right now to give me permission, though. You know you weigh next to nothing. Compared to you, a Silvari woman weighs the same as a small horse…”
But I don’t care. No care – just silky soft sleep.
* * *
“We can try some potions,” Roarke says from somewhere in the room.
I don’t actually know where in the room, because my eyes are still closed and my whole body still wants to be asleep.
“Is there one that will work?” Pax asks.
“I won’t know until I try, but she can’t stay in those walls. It will slowly kill her.”
“Or quickly. We’ve come close a few times already,” Seth offers.
Pax just rumbles.
Shadows and Shade Box Set Page 17
