“It was a jest, brother,” Seth shouts, trying the handle with a loud rattle but no luck.
“I know,” Killian whispers.
He’s still holding me by the collar, which forces me to stand on the tips of my toes.
“But if anyone is going to lick her, it’s me,” he growls.
What?!
I catch a glimpse of the most wicked smile I’ve ever seen – kind of wicked-scary which is worse than Seth’s wicked-mischief – before Killian leans in and runs the tip of his tongue up the side of my face.
From chin to hairline.
Not big and wet and nasty – but almost like he’s actually tasting me. A slow, gentle tracing, his breath teasing along the moist line.
“Delicious,” he says, letting go of me and walking off.
Just like that.
Out of the kitchen and out of the cottage.
For a long breath, I just watch him disappear. Well, that’s a lie, it’s more like a long moment and a whole lot of gasping breaths.
“Vexy,” Seth calls, knocking on the door.
I unlatch the larder, and Seth climbs out, then leans against the frame – still smiling.
“That was nasty. That joke backfired. I got into trouble for it and not you.”
He shakes his head.
“Killian’s funny bone gets dusted off once every few decades. This.” And he twirls a finger towards me as he speaks. “This is amusing.”
I pick up the hem of his torn shirt and wipe it down my cheek. “Then you can wear his slobber.”
He watches me, still smiling. Which is annoying, because smiles use lips, and lips remind me of how deliciously distracting kissing is.
“Bread,” he declares, perhaps hoping volume will get us both back on track, including that bulge in the front of his pants.
He ducks back into the larder for two more bottles of wine, then walks away from me, running a hand through his flour-filled hair and sending a cloud of the stuff into the air.
I take a longer moment to pull my clothes straight and savor the feelings still running through my body before they fade. When I move the three short steps to the other side of the kitchen, he’s busy measuring a fresh cup of flour.
I snag a bottle of wine, then try to pop up onto the bench to uncork it. But the damn bench moves, and I land on the floor instead.
I snort, moan, then giggle. Wow – make up my mind already.
“Why?” Seth asks, pointing down at me.
I hold the wine up, saying, “The bench is drunk.”
Damn, I love Seth’s smile. It brightens his blue eyes and pulls a kind of joy from even the darkest corners of the room.
I make myself comfortable with the cupboard as a backrest since I can’t fall any further than this.
“How come you’ve always been able to kiss me without overwhelming me with power?” I ask. Leaving out the part where Pax’s last kisses didn’t overwhelm me at all.
“I’m not as powerful as my brothers,” he says, not looking up at me as he measures and pours.
“You all seem pretty equal to me.” Except when Seth acts like a complete child. “Mostly.”
He nods. “I’m better-looking and a better fighter – but innate power like theirs was pretty rare even a few thousand years ago. They sit on the highest branches in the power tree.”
“Who’s at the top then? Pax?”
He dumps the flour into a bowl, followed by seeds, nuts, and raisins that he doesn’t even bother measuring out, then the starter and more water. “No, OriginSeeds would have sat at the top – at least five thousand years ago – if they were real.”
“OriginSeed,” I roll the word off my tongue. It’s somehow familiar, like I’ve heard it before, but I can’t place it. Except that it sounds linked to the Origin Spring. “And we’re looking for an Origin Spring – are they related?”
He holds his hand out to me as he says, “You’d have to ask Roarke, and it feels weird talking to you on the floor.”
“Join me, then?”
The shake of his head and little giggle translations to, ‘you’re crazy.’ CrazySeed is definitely possible.
So I accept his hand and the way he pops me to my feet. The spikes and peaks of his messy dark hair are covered in white, and I can’t resist tussling it, getting more flour out. He just smiles and pushes the bowl toward me.
“Mix.”
“All right, tell me about this OriginSeed,” I say, accepting the spoon and beginning to struggle with the thick dough.
“I don’t know much. Mother was obsessed with finding one back when we were young. I used to sneak into her study and read her notes from time to time, but she never explained why. Maybe she thought that one could beat Lithael, or maybe she thought that one would become Lithael’s partner and she needed to stop that from happening – maybe in the beginning she was trying to get them together. A power like that is dangerous on either side. She never explained, only that the man was important. He was named after some kind of bird, Gull or Eagle or Parrot. It was a long time ago.”
“How powerful?” It’s honestly hard for me to get my head around, not helped by the way my head’s spinning.
The hedgewitch midwife used to be the most powerful person I knew, and her gift simply eased pain. One thing. What her power was and what it could do was clean-cut, black and white – no gray area.
Nothing like Pax or Killian or Roarke or even Seth.
And now there’s an OriginSeed – something more powerful. How is that even possible?
“Not all powerful, I wouldn’t think. But who knows? It’s not like there’s any left to ask them about it, and everything in a Silvari book is either a rhyme or a list. We’re not lucky enough to have lists of Seeds. No two people are the same, even if their Seeds are the same. Just like no two trees are the same, even if they sprouted from the seeds of the same tree. Even if they look the same from a distance. Everything always grows into its own unique existence.”
“But how do you people keep losing each other? Alphas were apparently extinct, weren’t they? Or at least Pax’s power was suppressed? No one knew he existed until your mother found him.”
“Silva’s a pretty big place – easily three times your mortal Desayer realm. With monsters and magic and everything else in-between, it’s very easy for someone to hide. And if a family stays hidden for a few generations, pretending to be mere Silvari, they can force their Seeds into hibernation. It’s the only way to stop the Saber call. Some even have children before the call and then end their own lives, severing the link. Especially if they were destined to be called to the Crimson Castle. And on the other side, the Aeons are even bigger.”
“The other side?”
“Through the Veil. The Aeons.”
I rub at my forehead. “So the Crimson Castle is bad, and Pax’s family didn’t want him to become a warrior?”
My attention is on the bowl and the impossible-to-stir dough – but I still feel Seth go still.
“No,” he says softly.
He grips my left wrist and pulls my sleeve back, revealing the old shackle scar.
“He didn’t have any family by then. He didn’t even know who he was or that this world existed before Mother found him.”
I swallow hard.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean,” I mutter, pulling my arm free to continue stirring.
“Pax will tell you, I guess. When he’s ready.”
But right now I don’t want to talk about Pax or the conversations we haven’t had. That list is getting chuckin’ long.
“OriginSeeds,” I say, stabbing the spoon at Seth to remind him what we were actually discussing.
“That’s about all I know. OriginSeeds took Seeds of what they needed from the world around them and turned those into power. Origins were around before Sabers really existed. They made us. But unlike Origins, we get our specific abilities passed down from our parents. I was born Chaos. My children would have been ChaosSeeds. All of this happened before
the Mortal Wars and the border existed. That's all I know, and then it’s not so much knowledge as myth. Roarke’s convinced they never existed. Here," he says, taking the spoon. “You’re making this look harder than it is.”
“Easy for you to say, you’ve got muscles.” And biceps that I couldn’t get my hands around even if I tried.
And that thought makes me want to try.
Which makes my hand reach for his arm. I redirect it, just barely, and instead end up propping my hand underneath his forearm – like I’m about to lift his arm up, without putting any actual effort into it. Because I’m not trying to support his arm – I’m trying to avoid playing with his muscles.
And I’m me – Shade – the epic master of distraction-by-doing-stupid-shit.
“What are you doing?” he asks, raising an eyebrow at me.
“Holding your arm,” I say, shrugging and fully committing to my actions.
“Why?”
“You know, so it won’t fall off.”
He chuckles like that’s the worst joke ever.
“Oh, you’ll thank me for it when your arms start feeling as sore as mine.”
He keeps stirring, and I keep holding his arm up so it doesn’t fall off.
“If OriginSeeds can just take what they want from their environments, then why wouldn’t they be all-powerful? You know, get thrown in a river by Killian and start drowning – get WaterSeed. Sore arm from stirring – get StrengthSeed.”
He shrugs. “Because when in life is anyone ever that good? There would have been limitations on their abilities. There had to be – there’s none left in the world now, so they were pretty flawed in some important way. Something about their power got them all killed.”
As he talks, he puts the bowl down and moves to the larder – I shuffle off the bench, stagger a little as the room tilts then rights itself, and follow him. Five steps makes me stick to his shadow pretty closely.
Turns out he’s just getting more wine. No complaints from me. What’s this? Eight? My tolerance must be going up.
Wonder where it will end? I think, gripping the bench and trying three times to reclaim my seat before Seth takes pity on me and picks me up.
“Good Sethy,” I mumble, making him laugh.
When I get tired of cleaning the workroom and stressing about Kitten sleeping, I rejoin the fire. Sweet bread in the oven teases my stomach, but I leave it, Seth, and Kitten in the cottage and beeline to Pax, Killian, and Jada.
Pax – who should tear my head clean off for opening my mouth and letting my voice out. Aeons, it felt good though.
And Killian – who should growl at least two words, ‘Never again.’
She’s mortal. I know!
So why the fuck did I risk singing with her?
Jada clears her throat, intently watching the dainty little patterns she’s scraping into the dirt with a long stick. But none of them say anything.
“I…” I begin, but lose the words. “It…” I try again, but that sentence doesn’t feel right. I set my gaze on Killian, hoping for answers. “Did –”
He cuts me off with a sharp head shake, and Jada suddenly getting to her feet highlights that maybe this is not the best time to have this kind of conversation. Maybe she’s worked it out, or worked something out, but she can’t see threads – so there’s also every chance she’s completely unaware of the complexity of Kitten’s existence.
And, in that case, I want her to stay that way.
My stomach tenses as I shove all of my fears down, burying my hopes beneath them. Then I swallow hard and turn my attention back to Pax.
“Again?” he asks, and he’s not referring to my feelings in any way.
I sigh, running a hand from my hair.
“Again,” I agree.
No one argues. Everyone getting to their feet, and together we explore the forest once more. Going over every rock and every track. Around every tree. Again.
And again.
I’ve lost track of how many times we’ve looked.
Rose has orders to pass on to Zuri’s triune as she travels. Jada was supposed to get them here, but they’re clearly not going to make it. Other assignments, she’d said, there’s only so much she can do.
Zuri and Eliijah will both move through the other Springs, the other domains, as soon as they can. Both of them are strong enough in the wisdom department to at least alert the Masters of their desire to gain access, if not actually walk through the barrier.
Zuri’s going to start with the Sound Spring, Eliijah on the Wood Spring, then leapfrog around the border. Since Lithael is intent on keeping the Elite close to the border, passing on orders and gathering intel should be one of the easier parts of this plan. But in truth – nothing is ever that easy.
At least now we have a plan.
Or at least I think we do.
Now that Jada knows which sealers are reliable and which are delivering altered assignments, removing the threats will be easier, and it’s become a priority. Jada is setting up ambushes, which we hope to be part of, but for now orders will be sent through Jada to Miles and Taryn’s teams. Jada doesn’t know what Rose is doing, and Rose doesn’t know what Jada is doing. The only thing they all know is Teegan’s main assignment – those women are tasked with befriending Logan.
So much to coordinate, but right now I have just one job – pop a damn bubble.
An hour later, we return to the cottage, the sweet bread, and Kitten.
Pax stops me at the bottom of the steps, and Killian hesitates behind me.
“What was the singing about?” Pax finally asks.
I knew the question was coming. Doesn’t make me any more prepared for it, though. I rub the back of my neck, trying to put some words together, then give up and turn to Killian instead. “Was I hurting her?”
“Gold threads are from the heart,” he says.
Pax and I just stare at him – because that may or may not have anything to do with my question.
Killian points at me, then towards the cottage. “Yours and hers. They almost touched.”
“So I was hurting her?” Because connections like that suck power, and she has so very little to give.
Killian tilts his head a little. “Maybe. I ended it.”
By throwing a rock at Kitten’s head. Not something I condone.
“It’s an issue. I heard you, I agree,” Pax says, clearly to Thane, then adds, “No more singing.”
He turns and walks back to the fire – conversation over.
“No more singing,” I echo.
I fully agree.
So why am I swimming in the pang of disappointment as I head inside with Killian behind me?
Disappointment doesn’t feel right, it’s not a big enough word. My seed truly wants the most beautiful creature I’ve ever met. It’s impossible, but it’s real. A connection I thought had died when the Allure line died. Now it’s here and alive and full of possibility that I can never have.
Despondent.
Devastated.
And yet I feel guilty for entertaining my own pain because she is the one dying. She needs me, and I need her, and we both need a miracle.
One thing at a time.
She doesn’t need to know what my Seed is doing when she’s still adjusting to the idea of a MateBond with Pax. Not when I don’t even know exactly what my power is doing, and we don’t have time to experiment. No – there’ll be no more singing.
Kitten is asleep on the couch, resting her head on Seth’s chest as the big guy snores softly. Killian slips his boots off and, with sock-silent, ambles up and pinches Seth’s nose shut.
I fold my arms over my chest and step to the left for the best view.
Seth gasps, sits up sharply, and topples Kitten flat on her back on the floor.
“Brother!” he shouts, swatting wildly at the air, even though Killian has walked away.
“I could have used a blade instead,” Killian says.
“Mallow,” Kitten groans, reaching to sl
ap Seth as if he’s a naughty puppy, but not really getting up off the floor or opening her eyes.
Killian huffs, standing over her. I almost expect he might try to stir her awake with the toe of his dirty sock, but he bends down and yanks her pants leg up to remove one dart cuff.
“That better be Killian, or Killian is going to stab you… Probably somewhere nasty like your eye… or your junk,” Kitten slurs.
We all laugh, Seth the loudest, but Killian with genuine delight. Not a word I usually use on the man. Delight. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever used that word to describe him or anything he does.
“He probably would,” Seth admits, shifting to cover his crotch with his hand.
The far-too-amused Darkness walks into the kitchen, still laughing as he puts the cuff on the bench. “It’ll chafe – weak mortal skin,” he explains, then picks up a chunk of bread, the olive oil, and a cloth.
He pulls the single seat to the furthest corner of the room as he can. Out of her bubble, for whatever reason he’s not willing to explain.
“Is she drunk?” he asks.
“Shhh, Lilian,” she stammers, pointing a finger in Killian’s general direction. Since she’s lying on her back, her head closest to the couch – and she’s still full of Silvari wine – she ends up pointing at the wall.
“What happened to the all-powerful all-mighty Killian?” Seth asks, playfully poking her with his toe.
“Omniscient Killian’s not home,” she says, her voice soft and calm and genuine.
My heart stutters, hearing my word on her tongue. Not that omniscient is my word, but I taught her that, just days ago. We discussed it for seconds, and she was listening. I pinch my lips together to smother my smile. Is it ridiculous that I find her use of such a simple word endearing – even sexy? Yep – sexy.
“What’s a Lilian?” Killian asks.
“It’s a mortal lady’s name,” Seth chuckles.
“He’s a Lilian,” Kitten says, just barely managing to get her eyes open as she points at the Seed of Darkness.
“Why?” Killian asks. “Where did this Lilian come from?”
His eyebrows are tweaked inwards, half grizzly and half curious.
She shrugs, rolling on her side as if to get comfortable on the floor and fall back to sleep. “The guards at Lackshir Market asked me who you were, and I told them your name was Lilian. Why am I on the floor?”
Shadows and Shade Box Set Page 107
