He started to say something but was seized by a fit of coughing. He pointed at the cup of water with the straw on the table by his bed.
Marie picked it up, helped him with his oxygen mask, and held the straw so he could sip.
Dave patted her hand and sank back against his pillow, spent.
Marie set the cup down and helped him adjust his mask once more. “I should let you rest.”
Dave clutched for her before she could leave. He wheezed in a breath as he studied her face, then tightened his grip around her fingers softly. “Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like God’s grace is too cheap to cover your sins.”
Tears welled in Marie’s eyes before she could stop them. That was exactly how she felt sometimes, wasn’t it?
Movement drew her attention across the room. Darlene must have heard Dave coughing and come to check on him, but now she stood in the doorway with one hand covering her mouth, a look of sheer horror on her face.
Startled, Marie stood and glanced around. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, she turned back to the woman. “Is everything okay?”
Darlene gave a jerky nod. “Yes. Yes. Fine. Everything’s fine. Thanks for—” She swept a motion toward Dave and then tossed a glance over her shoulder. “I’d best check on our little chef.” With that Darlene rushed from the room.
Marie shook off her curiosity over the incident and turned back to Dave. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Thank you for the reminder.”
Dave patted her hand again even as his eyes slipped closed. His breaths still came even and slow, so she slipped her hand from his and made her way up to the cabins.
Chapter 16
Dave’s words echoed in her mind on the way up the path. Conviction washed over her. That really was what she’d done. Let people make her feel like her sins were too big for God to handle. Like she’d fallen too far to ever measure up against other children of God. When in reality even one little misstep from the line of God’s law removed people exactly the same distance from salvation as those who ran and leapt as far into sin as they could sink both feet. It was the distance of a canyon. A canyon that had already been spanned by Jesus’ death on the cross, if only people would put their faith in Him and walk across.
Marie paused halfway up the bluff. She glanced at the sky. The only thing marring the turquoise-blue expanse was one fluffy white cloud. You can take care of Reece’s reputation as well as my own, can’t You, Lord? I’m a new creation. Help my unbelief, would You? And if there’s a possibility for a future with Reece…
She let the prayer trail away because just the mention of the possibility set her heart to beating so hard she could hear it in her ears.
That giddy, girl-on-a-first-date feeling was back. She would talk to Reece. Mention what his dad had said, and let him know if he wasn’t opposed, she’d be happy to see where this thing between them went.
But when she reached the cabins, Reece was quiet and withdrawn, barely saying two words of greeting before he left her to finish up in cabin one while he went to work on cabin three. His father’s failing health had to be weighing on him, and she knew she’d hurt him multiple times over the past few days, but she’d hoped to catch a bit of the guy who’d brought wildflowers to her desk at work and then made sure Taysia told everyone they were from him.
About two o’clock that afternoon, he stalked into the kitchen she was working on, grabbed up his truck keys, and swung them around one finger. They slapped repeatedly into his palm as he approached the area where she was putting the finishing touches on the second coat of paint. “I’m going to run to the hardware store and get those flower planters you wanted, and order up the sod we’ll need delivered for the lawns outside. Anything else you can think of that we need?”
Marie pressed her lips together. From his all-business tone, now was not the time to discuss her change of heart. But there would be time. She just had to be patient. For now, there were a couple of things she’d wanted to discuss with him about the cabins.
She squinted him an I-don’t-know-if-this-is-too-much look. “Could you check on the price of some freestanding fireplaces? I was thinking that on cooler nights, it might be nice for the guests to have those out on the stone patios.”
He nodded. “Anything else?”
Marie eyed the light switch she’d been contemplating moments earlier. “Maybe you could bring back a couple samples of faceplate styles?” She tapped the switch. “It would be good to fancy these up a bit.”
Reece rubbed his cheek against one shoulder. “Why don’t you just come with me? Then you can choose the fireplaces too.”
“Alyssa—”
He cut her off. “Mom won’t mind watching her. Or we could just bring her with us.”
Marie’s heart nearly tripped over itself. Maybe this was the opportunity she’d been waiting for all day. “Okay.” She tilted a nod toward her rapidly drying paint. “I need five minutes.”
Reece dipped his chin in agreement and strode from the room.
A sigh escaped. “Ir-ri-ta-ble.”
“What was that?” He poked his head back through the door.
“Nothing.”
He grunted and left the room again. This time she held her breath until she heard the click of the front door shutting.
Darlene said she’d be happy to watch Alyssa, so Reece and Marie rode alone toward the home-and-garden store. In silence.
Reece finally huffed a huge breath and reached for her hand. “I have been irritable. I’m sorry.”
Marie cringed guiltily. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No. Really. It’s true. I’m not really upset with you, though; it’s just, everything that’s going on has got me down.” He paused for a beat. Then squeezed her hand. “Well, that’s not really true. I am upset with you a bit. But I want you to know I’ve decided to give you the space you’re asking for. I really have no hard feelings. And to prove it…” He reached over and tuned the radio to a soft rock station.
Marie frowned, missing the way his fingers had curled around hers already. “I’m a bit lost, Reece.”
“Just listen.”
The current song ended, and by the time the set of commercials finished, Marie felt like a panic attack might be coming on. I’ve decided to give you the space you’re asking for. When the DJ’s voice came back on, Marie held her breath so as not to miss a single word.
“This next song goes out to Marie from Reece. Reece says, ‘Marie, this will always be true of me no matter what the future brings us.’ Aw!” The DJ sniffed dramatically. “That gives me goose bumps, folks! The song is I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston.”
The lilting strains of the first notes of music filled the cab of the truck, and Marie swallowed down her dread as she darted Reece a look.
A muscle bunched in his jaw, and he turned his face toward the panoramic view of the ocean out his window for a moment before resuming his vigilant driving.
The whole time she listened, Marie’s pulse grew faster and faster. Had she ever really listened to this song before? It was about breaking up. Wishing the other person well. And moving on with life.
He was breaking things off before they even got started. Her eyes dropped closed. It was her own fault. She was the one who had set this into motion! “Reece—”
He held up a hand. “I know I’ve been pushing you, Marie. And that’s not what I want you to feel from me. So if you aren’t ready, then yeah, it’s probably best we don’t see any more of each other right now. In a dating capacity, I mean.”
She swallowed. Was it really her feelings he was considering? Or was he just trying to ease her into his decision to see no more of her? She fisted her hands in her lap and nipped the inside of her lip between her teeth. Confusion, thy name is Reece Cahill! She should just tell him what his dad had reminded her of and confess she’d be flattered if he still wanted to see her. But what if he had finally come around to realizing he didn’t want to have a woman
like her in his life? Then her change of heart would just really muddle things up.
She tipped her head back against the seat and let her vision blur against the thickly forested hillside which rose to the east. Wide, flat ocean on one side. Steep, wooded hills on the other.
The landscape was so juxtaposed. Just like her and Reece.
For the rest of Thursday and all day Friday, Marie held her silence. She was tired of swinging on an emotional pendulum and wanted to make sure she knew her own mind before she confessed to him her change of heart. She also wanted to make sure she’d really had a change of heart and do some praying about the decision. She still couldn’t help but feel allowing him to date her was a bit of a selfish decision on her part, but at the same time that feeling was being washed away as she considered the concept of grace—an undeserved gift. There was no way to earn God’s grace, and that was what she’d been trying to do. She’d felt she needed to be and do and perform better—even to have been, and have done, and have performed better in the past—in order to make herself worthy of God’s forgiveness when all along He simply wanted to provide it free and clear. And if others couldn’t see that, see the pearls God had built up in her life with His grace, then hard as it might be, she really wanted to let concern for their feelings go.
So she’d determined when she woke this morning that this would be the day. The day she laid her heart bare before Reece Cahill and let him determine her fate. Still, now pulling to a stop in the Serenity Shores driveway, she swallowed hard. Her hands trembled as she pushed herself out of the vehicle and forced her feet to move to the door.
Kylen and Taysia had been headed to the beach with Taysia’s father and his wife today. And Taysia had insisted Alyssa would have more fun with them at the beach than she would sitting around waiting for Marie all day. Marie knew she was right, so had agreed to let them take Alyssa with them.
Now, as she pressed the doorbell, she regretted her decision. Darlene was always a little softer toward her when she had Alyssa with her.
Footsteps sounded inside, and there was a flash of movement through one of the full-length sidelights, and then the lock clicked open and Mrs. Cahill pulled back the door. Her lips pressed together in a thin line, and her eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks blotchy.
Oh no…
A small sob escaped the woman. “I’m sorry. This is not a good time. You’ll need to come back later.” She started to shut the door.
“Mom. I’ve got this. I’ll be right back in.”
Darlene lifted a hanky to dab the corner of one eye as she turned away without another word.
Reece stepped out onto the landing, pulled the door almost shut, and then shoved his hands deep into his front pockets and hunched his shoulders. He didn’t look at her, but stared blankly across the lawn at nothing in particular. He looked worn, and thin, and ragged. His curls protruded from his head at several angles, as though he’d been clutching handfuls of his hair for long periods of time.
It had to be his dad. Forget what she’d come to say. She felt tears sting her eyes. Her heart broke at the thought of losing Dave. If she was hurting this much, how much more were they?
Marie reached out and stroked his arm. “Reece. I’m so sorry.”
He blinked and focused on her, but he didn’t seem to really see her. His eyes were vacant. “He seemed to be doing a little better yesterday. But then he really started struggling to breathe late last night. He…passed just a few minutes ago. The hospice nurse is on the way now to…pronounce the…” He let the sentence trail. His expression crumpled and he pressed his lips tight.
“I’m so sorry.” Marie pulled Reece into a comforting embrace. Seeing him in so much pain made her chest tight and heavy. She wanted to ease his heartache. She’d take it all on herself if that were possible.
His arms came around her slowly, and he slumped against her, resting his forehead onto her shoulder. His torso shook as silent sobs racked through his body.
“I’m so sorry.” She simply held him, one arm holding his head into her shoulder, unsure what other comfort to offer. Her own tears spilled over and coursed down her cheeks to trickle, salty and warm, to the corner of her mouth. Dave had been like a father to her when she’d dated Reece all those years ago. And, if she were to admit it, a better father than her own. She glanced toward the sky, imagining Dave free of his pain, free to breathe on his own, free from the physical limitations of his body, maybe embracing Jesus and laughing over how good it was to finally meet Him face to face.
After several minutes, Reece pulled back. He used his fingers and thumb to give a quick swipe to his eyes, and then settled his hands on either side of her neck. He took in her tears and cocked his head as he reached out with his thumbs and smoothed them away. “He’s in a better place. We have to remember that. Much as I’m going to miss him, I wouldn’t wish him back.”
Marie nodded. “I know.”
He leaned forward and rested his chin against his arm, staring out over the front lawn. “I’m sorry. I forgot you were coming today. I should have called and told you to stay home.”
“It’s totally fine. Don’t worry about it. I would have wanted to come anyway.”
He straightened and squeezed the muscles at the back of his neck and roughed a hand through his hair as he offered an apologetic look. “We’re going to have to put off working on the cabins for a while.”
“Of course. No problem. You and your mom take all the time you need, Reece. I’m so sorry.” She felt like a sad song set on auto replay, but she couldn’t think of anything else to say.
A gray-haired woman in a straight black skirt and sensible black leather flats came around the corner and stepped up onto the porch.
The hospice nurse.
She held a briefcase and wore a look of sincere apology in her expression.
Reece’s shoulders slumped. “I’ll take you inside in just a second.” His focus returned to Marie. “I know you need the money; I think we can—”
Marie stepped forward and laid a hand on his arm to silence him. “It’s fine. Really. Please don’t worry about me. Everything’s fine. I’ll head home, and you call me if you need anything, okay?”
“Actually, dear”—the hospice nurse stepped forward—“if you don’t mind, I’m betting Reece and his mother haven’t eaten for hours. Would you mind coming in and making a light breakfast for them while we get some paperwork filled out and other matters settled?”
Marie didn’t mind, but she looked to Reece for permission. He scrubbed his hand through his hair again, looking a little lost. “Yeah, I don’t remember the last time we ate.”
The nurse quirked an eyebrow at her to ask if she could stay, and Marie nodded. “Sure. I’d be happy to help.”
“Good. Reece, come on. Let’s go see your dad, honey.”
Reece led the woman toward the living room, and Marie made her way to the kitchen and set her purse on the counter next to the refrigerator. A hunt through the fridge revealed several vegetables and plenty of eggs, and there was a block of Gouda cheese in one of the drawers. It didn’t take her long to chop and sauté the vegetables in a skillet and then pour the eggs over it all. She let the eggs cook and then sprinkled some grated Gouda over the top and pulled the toast from the toaster. She found softened butter and some jam and put it all on the table. But the men from the mortuary arrived just as she started toward the living room. She diverted to the door and let them in, then led them to the living room.
Her heart went out to Reece and Darlene. It was going to be a long day for them both.
Tuesday, the day of the funeral, dawned sunny and bright. And Marie couldn’t help but be glad about that. It was almost like Dave had asked God for a special blessing just for them on this day.
She dressed Alyssa and explained how she needed to be very quiet and thoughtful during the funeral because everyone was going to be missing Mr. Cahill so strongly.
“Can I bring my drawing pad Mr. Reece got me?”
“Yes, that will be fine.” Marie slid the brush through Alyssa’s last tangle. “There. Grab your stuff and let’s go.”
Marie had been to several funerals, all of them solemn and sorrowful. But at Dave’s the focus was more on a celebration of his life than on the despair over the Cahills’ loss. There was a slide show that started showing old black-and-white images of when he was just a baby and carried through his years of military service on through the early days of Serenity Shores and up to just a few days before he passed away. Shots of birthdays, and home movies of him cheering for Reece at Little League games. Anniversaries and Christmases. Each glimpse into his life showing a man who put God first in everything he did, till Marie’s tears were more of joy for a life well lived than sorrow for what the world had lost.
The procession of cars to the cemetery was long, proof the man had meant something to many in Marinville and other towns nearby. The service there was short, though, and it wasn’t long before Marie found herself standing before Reece and his mother.
She couldn’t have been more surprised when Mrs. Cahill pulled her into an embrace, especially since it seemed genuine and Reece was engaged in a conversation with his friend Justus.
The woman set her back to arm’s length. “I haven’t been very kind. Dave’s words to you really convicted me, but with all that’s been going on, I haven’t found the time to talk to you.”
Marie’s mouth dropped open, but she couldn’t seem to find any words. Was she only saying this because Marie and Reece weren’t seeing each other right now?
Darlene’s face scrunched, and she dabbed at the tears flowing freely. “He was a good man. Could always see the good in people. Please forgive me.”
“I—yes, of course.” Marie pulled the woman into a hug of her own, closing her eyes in thankfulness. She didn’t care exactly why she was apologizing; it just felt good to hear it.
Reece was still busy talking with others, so Marie took Alyssa’s hand and stepped off to one side to wait to offer him another round of condolences.
Caught in the Current (Pacific Shores Book 2) Page 16
