by E. S. Moore
I sighed and started working my shirt up my body. It was wet with blood, so it didn’t come off easily. And that’s not to mention how much it fucking hurt. I groaned as the shirt peeled upward. The bandage came with it, slowly tearing from my skin.
As soon as it was off, I dropped the bloody rag to the floor. The air felt cold against my skin and I covered myself with my arms. I leaned forward, eyes closed. I was nearly shivering.
“This will probably sting.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, a bitingly cold liquid poured over my wound. I hissed in a breath and tensed, but I stayed where I was. I could feel the bubbles pouring from the gouge.
My throat constricted. Infections rarely set in with vampires or werewolves. Our bodies were just too damn resilient. So what did it mean that my back was bubbling like that? Had I made things worse?
Jonathan poured more of the liquid onto my back and I couldn’t stop the grunt of pain. I licked my lips and did my best to ignore the flaring agony in my back. At least it took my mind off his body.
“What am I going to do?” I said. I needed to talk so I didn’t scream.
“About?” Jonathan started dabbing at the wound with a moist cloth. It felt like he was using sandpaper dipped in salt.
“About Thomas,” I said, nearly hissing the words. Good God, it hurt. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t take him home with me, but I can’t leave him here either.”
“We’ll figure something out.”
“But what about Adrian? Sooner or later he’ll realize something is up.”
“I’ll deal with Adrian.”
I started to say something more, but just then, Jonathan started poking his finger into the wound. “Fuck!” I yelled, jerking away from him. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“There’s something in there,” he said. “I need to get it out. I’m sorry.”
I swallowed and closed my eyes. I couldn’t even remember what we had been talking about.
Jonathan resumed poking into the wound. I could tell he was trying to be careful, but it was like he was stabbing me in the back with a scorching-hot poker. Couldn’t he have found something smaller than his fingers to get whatever it was out?
I hated every moment that I sat there. It wasn’t so much the pain, though that contributed to it. It was the fact I was letting a werewolf tend to my wounds. It was demeaning.
I should have just left as soon as we had Thomas locked up. I could have gone home, taken a bath, and let my body do all the healing on its own.
“Most of your stitching is busted,” Jonathan said. “I can’t fix it myself, but I think I can use some butterfly bandages to keep it closed until you can get back to Lei.”
“I’ll be fine,” I said. “I’ll heal. Just get this over with.”
“But you don’t want the scars to be too bad, do you?”
I shrugged one shoulder, the good shoulder. “No one is going to see them but me.”
We fell silent and I drifted back to my own thoughts. I couldn’t stop wondering if Thomas was going to be okay, if what we had done was the right thing. Would my intervention set back his recovery? If we had left him be, would he have eventually regained his sanity?
There was no sense in worrying about it now. He was downstairs and I would have to deal with the consequences, whatever they might be. At least he was off the streets. Adrian couldn’t get to him now.
Jonathan finished dabbing at my wounds and started bandaging them up. I hated the feel of the tape on my back. It pulled my skin with every movement, making me feel restricted. As soon as I was home, they were coming off. Screw the scars. What were a few more anyway?
“Done,” he said after a few more minutes. “Let’s get you a shirt.”
I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the floor while he went to the closet. What was I going to do now? I was afraid to go home, afraid to face Ethan. Even though we had survived our encounter with Thomas, I still felt as though I had failed. It was dumb, I know, but I couldn’t help it. Nothing was working out like I wanted it to.
What I needed was to get away. I could feel the pull of Delai. I wanted the comforts the small town offered. There, I could forget about my troubles, even if it was only for a little bit. Adrian wouldn’t bother me there; Thomas wouldn’t be there, half-crazed and ruined. I could just relax and let the world pass me by.
Fresh anger flared from my gut. Why in the hell was I thinking about that damn little town now? It seemed like every time things got tough, I was looking to run away these days. I couldn’t do that, it wasn’t me.
“What’s wrong?” Jonathan asked. He was standing in front of me, shirt in hand. I hadn’t even noticed him. He stared at me for a long second before sitting down beside me.
“I’m fine.” It didn’t sound convincing, even to me.
“Hey,” he said. He reached out and gently lifted my chin so I was looking into his eyes. I jerked away from his touch but kept my gaze on his. “We’ll figure this out.” He wiped a finger under my eye and I was surprised to see a tear glimmering there.
I wanted to harden, to close up and tell him to leave me the fuck alone, but right then, I didn’t have it in me. I just wanted to sit there and cry like a little baby. All the fight had gone out of me. It had been a long time since I’d been this screwed up.
At least I managed to turn off the tears. I wouldn’t let him see me cry in earnest.
“I won’t let Adrian hurt him,” Jonathan said. “I’ll keep Thomas here as long as you want me to. I’ll protect him, keep him safe. We’ll figure out how to help him. Maybe Lei will know what to do.”
I nodded, unable to speak. Why was he being so damn nice to me? We weren’t supposed to be getting along like this. I was supposed to hate him, to want to kill him. He was a werewolf.
How many times did I have to keep thinking that before I realized it just wasn’t going to happen? Something about Jonathan comforted me. I wasn’t quite sure what it was, but around him, I could relax more than I could in nearly anyone else’s presence.
“I’m okay,” I said. “Everything was just getting to me.”
“You’re human after all.”
I looked up and he was smiling.
“Figuratively speaking.”
I couldn’t help but smile.
Our eyes locked and the entire world seemed to slip away. I could almost see through his glamour, see to the marred features of his face. I had done that to him, yet here he was, trying to make the murderer who had nearly cost him his life feel better. How could he have ever forgiven me?
He edged closer. I tensed, not knowing what to do. The shirt he had brought for me was balled up in his hands, and it reminded me I was sitting here topless. I hadn’t put on a bra when I had gotten dressed since it would have rubbed against my wounds.
I let my arms fall away. I didn’t care how much he saw. In fact, I almost welcomed it. My life had been filled with so much pain, so much death, it felt good to finally have something else, something deeper.
My lower lip trembled. I wasn’t sure if it was from fear or something else. I was terrified, unsure what was going on. I didn’t understand what was happening, and yet, deep down, something in me wanted it more than anything I had ever wanted in my life.
We were inches apart. I could feel his breath on my face and my own breathing quickened. I was shaking all over.
I started to reach out, to touch him. I caught myself at the last moment, my hand trembling as I held it inches from his bare chest. What was I doing? Thomas was downstairs, trapped. I couldn’t be giving in like this.
The bedroom door suddenly opened, and both Jonathan and I jerked back. Nathan walked in, wearing a pair of Lei’s sweats.
“Jeremy is—” He froze, foot hovering an inch off the floor. His face went hard, hateful.
Jonathan handed me the shirt and quickly stood. He snatched up his white shirt and began to button it on. “Is he going to be okay?”
I yanked the shirt over my
head. It was too big, but right then, it felt just right.
“He’s still with Lei,” Nathan said. His eyes flickered toward me and I saw pure hatred there before he turned back to his Denmaster. “She says he will live, but he might lose his arm. She won’t know for sure until she sees how he heals.”
I stood. The shirt went all the way down to my knees. Part of me wished it covered me from head to foot. I felt like a fool. I wasn’t some girl who gave in to her emotions like that. I never should have let things get that far. I was somewhat thankful Nathan had arrived when he did. If he hadn’t, I wasn’t so sure how far things would have gone.
“Let’s talk out there,” Jonathan said, motioning toward the door to the sitting room.
Nathan huffed and turned away. Jonathan followed after him. He stopped at the doorway and looked back at me. There was a tenderness to his eyes that made me want to hit him. I didn’t need this. Not now.
He left the room and I took a moment to compose myself before following after. We had work to do.
27
It turned out there wasn’t much else to talk about. I couldn’t face going back down into the basement to see Thomas, especially since the woman would most likely still be in her cell. Even if she wasn’t, the blood would be there. I couldn’t handle that right then.
Nathan spent most of the conversation glaring at everyone and everything. It was clear he thought more had gone on in the bedroom than what really had. I knew I should have said something, told him that nothing had happened, yet I was getting a perverse sense of pleasure seeing him squirm. It served him right, really. He didn’t need to be concerned about my business anyway.
Eventually, it was decided there was little else we could do that night. Jonathan offered to let me spend the day in the Den, but I declined. I could almost feel Thomas below. It would drive me crazy knowing he was locked up somewhere beneath me.
I decided the best course of action would be for me to go home and try to relax. Maybe talking to Ethan would help me figure out how in the hell I was going to help Thomas get better. None of us had any ideas. It had taken Thomas this long to get to where he was now. It could take years more before he improved further.
Jonathan walked me to the door, earning more foul looks from Nathan. Pablo, of course, had to join in, glaring from an alcove as we headed for the stairs. Maybe the two of them could get together and form an anti-Kat group where they could say all the nasty things they wanted about me. Whatever made them happy, right?
Jonathan assured me he wouldn’t tell Adrian anything. He also promised to explain the woman’s death away as an accident. Davin wouldn’t let the truth slip, he was sure. Not if the vampire wanted his night under the stars.
I thanked him and hurried away before he decided to try to resume our little moment in the bedroom. I could tell the thought had crossed his mind. As much as I might have enjoyed seeing what it was like, it would be too much of a distraction. Besides, if I let him get that close again, I wasn’t so sure I would be able to stop him from going further.
Still, the thought of what might have been made the walk back to the Den’s garage lonely. Each step weighed on me. I knew I had done the right thing in capturing Thomas, in leaving the Den when I had. I just needed time to figure out what to do next.
I mounted my Honda and tore out of the garage as if I could outrun my thoughts. I needed to get away. The farther I went, the better it would be for everyone.
I found myself turning away from home and heading toward Delai. I could get away from everything there. I could almost hear the town calling to me. The place scared me a little, but at the same time, it made me feel good. What would one more night hurt?
The wind buffeted me as I sped along, intent on fleeing from my troubles. If Thomas hadn’t been involved, I think I would have been okay. With him at the center of all of this, I was a mess inside. I could hardly tell which way was up.
I slowed, realizing running away wasn’t going to help anyone. Thomas needed me. Ethan would be waiting for me. I couldn’t abandon either of them like that.
A strange sense of relief flowed over me as I did a U-turn, earning a few honks and curses, and headed toward home. It was as if I had escaped putting myself in even more danger without realizing it. Once all of this was over, I could consider paying Delai another visit. Maybe I could take Thomas. Maybe we’d both find a place to belong.
It was still pretty dark when I rode up my driveway. The living room light was on, and I pulled into the garage feeling guilty. I should have taken more time out of my night to spend with Ethan. He could use the company just as much as I could. And while I could just up and leave any time I wanted, Ethan couldn’t. Just leaving the house gave him a massive panic attack.
I hurried inside and found Ethan waiting for me in the dining room. He was holding a cup of coffee up under his chin like he was trying to warm his face with the steam. The low sound of the television came from the other room.
“Are you ... ?” He floundered for a moment before falling silent.
“I’m fine,” I said. “We found Thomas.”
Ethan’s eyes widened and he set the cup down on the table. “Is he still alive?”
I nodded and my face must have fallen, because a look of concern crossed his visage. I tried to come up with something to say that would explain what condition Thomas was in, but nothing came to mind. Every time I tried to picture him, I kept seeing the woman in her cell, her blood pumping onto the cold concrete.
“Do you think you can fix him?” Ethan asked. “I mean, no one’s ever found a cure as far as I know.”
“I don’t know.”
He took a deep breath and started pacing. He ran his fingers through his hair, mussing his already wild locks.
I watched him and could see his growing agitation. He wanted to say something, that much was clear. I waited him out, not wanting to interrupt his thought process. I trusted him to come up with a solution. He seemed to always know what to do, how best to help. It’s what he did.
“I was thinking,” he said after a few moments. “But I don’t know if you want to hear it.” He gave me a worried look.
“Go for it,” I said. “I don’t think you can say anything that will make my night any worse than it’s already been.”
He made a sound. I wasn’t sure if it was a cough or a laugh. It was probably a little bit of both. “I’m not so sure about that.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I’m too tired to let anything faze me tonight.”
The concern crossed his face again. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked. “You look beat.”
I closed my eyes and fought against the urge to get angry. I wasn’t even sure what I was angry about. Was it the constant questions asking how I was feeling? Was it thinking about Thomas? About the dead woman?
About Jonathan?
I felt myself start to blush and did my best to hide it. I so didn’t need Ethan learning about what had nearly taken place in Jonathan’s bedroom.
“I’ve been pummeled, torn, stitched, and had a close confrontation with a brother I thought lost forever,” I said instead. “I’m more than beat.”
He smiled nervously. “I can always talk to you about it later,” he said. “I haven’t worked on anything tonight and, well, I’m getting a little agitated myself.”
My thoughts immediately went to his demon. I was positive that was what was making him anxious. I had no idea what kind of hold it had on him, but I could tell whatever it was, it was pretty strong.
“Say what you need to say,” I said. “Then I’m going to go upstairs, take a long, hot bath, and spend the day trying to figure out what in the hell I’m going to do about this piss hole of a situation.”
Ethan licked his lips and took a step away from me. “It’s just that ...” He trailed off and scrunched up his face like he was trying to figure out how to say something really bad. “You know about ... well ... Beligral.” He nearly whispered the demon’s
name.
“Yeah,” I said, suddenly wary. I really didn’t want to have to worry about the demon on top of everything else.
“Well, you see, he’s good at a lot of things,” Ethan went on. He had stopped pacing and looked like he was ready to bolt the moment I showed a hint of anger. I didn’t blame him.
“What’s your point?”
“I was thinking that if you could bring Thomas here or something, maybe Beligral could, I don’t know, help somehow?”
I closed my eyes and counted to ten. I couldn’t believe he was dropping this on me now. As much as I liked Ethan, he could choose some piss-poor times to bring things up.
“But I can see you don’t want to talk about that right now,” he said. He backpedaled out of the dining room and headed for the stairs. His full cup of coffee was still sitting on the table. “I’ll, uh, be downstairs for a little while. See you tomorrow night.” He scurried out of sight before I could say anything.
I all but stomped up the stairs to my room, wondering why I put up with him sometimes. I was just glad he was so preoccupied with his demon shit, he hadn’t commented on my overlarge shirt. I didn’t want to have to explain that to him. I could hardly explain it to myself.
I was halfway down the hall before I realized I’d left my shortened coat at the Den. Hell, my gun and shoulder holster were still sitting beside Jonathan’s bed.
I grumbled all the way into my bedroom. I slipped out of my clothes and started the bath. I couldn’t believe I’d been so forgetful. The gun was loaded with silver bullets.
If Nathan found it first, what was to stop him from using it on me the next chance he got? The bullets would paralyze me just as fast as they would one of the wolves.
I was starting to get scatterbrained. I never left anything behind, and yet how many weapons have I lost in just the last few days? I just wanted everything to be over so things could get back to normal.
The bath was comforting, but it hurt. The bandages on my back slowly peeled away the longer I soaked, exposing the wounds to the hot water. I sort of wished I could melt away as easily. Sometimes it seemed like it would just be easier that way.
